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Approved Submission Black Star Industries +

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Edto Xar'Sivaree

Edto Xar'Sivaree

Lizard Freak!
Inactive Member
Submission Type: Company and extremities
Submission URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:corp:black_star_industries

Faction: VDTF
FM Approved Yet? Yes
Faction requires art? No

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles? Technically
Contains New art? No
Previously Submitted? Yes, not rejected.

Notes: I have removed all references to Black Sun Industries, and replaced them with Black Star Industires, as per @Wes's request. None of the items were changed practically aside from the change in company name, which is soft canon as of the News thread posted in the news board of friday May 26th.

@Talarn for approval, as he had a hand in this alteration.
 
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I ask that this submission have a checklist as there are several apparent issues with it.

Moving the thread to submissions.
 
Hmm? What? Oh, seems silly a company face needs to be approved but yes, I suppose. As far as I am aware, I think you should do it @Ametheliana given you were the one who pulled it from approval. Checklists are optional to post. They are there as a guideline. You would know more than anyone why you pulled my entire company and all of its product.
 
As a secondary note, I would like to know it @Wes approves of the removal of my entire company from the approved section, including all of my tech, after that PM conversation we all had in private messages. I just find this is becoming more about the Wiki than roleplay, but whatever.

As I may as well head this off, given it was REALLY common before, resources and man power are no longer and issue. @Ira has told me that the Gartagen have given the Vekimen a blank cheque for resources, manufacturing, and manpower to build most anything I would like so long as the Gartagen could also use them. I have no issue's with this, tagging him so he can confirm this.
 
I've got a full plate right now and someone else should probably take it! ^^
 
Ametheliana said:
I've got a full plate right now and someone else should probably take it! ^^
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I'm just saying. You are the one who deliberately pulled it out without actually telling why you did it. Would you rather just revoke your removal? I would say pulling it out of approval and then telling someone else to work on it without explaining why you did it is a mite unprofessional. I've done all the work, and it was approved twice before you pulled it out.
 
Considering that this was previously approved twice already, I'm just going to pop it back to the approved section unless there's any objection.
 
I'm looking over the article, and what jumps to my eyes is its sparsity. It's a bunch of titles with whole lots of nothing significant, with the relevant bit - existing creation - hidden through there.

I figure the "None yet" headings are meant to be filled eventually, but I'd heartilly recommend improving the actual ytreader value of the article by removing most of the blank entries and only keep those with items actually in there. Nothing stops you from keeping the original organization/wiki-code in a .txt file so that you can easily expand on it later and retain your original organization.

Also, you might want to fix that red link. :)
 
Fred said:
I'm looking over the article, and what jumps to my eyes is its sparsity. It's a bunch of titles with whole lots of nothing significant, with the relevant bit - existing creation - hidden through there.

I figure the "None yet" headings are meant to be filled eventually, but I'd heartilly recommend improving the actual ytreader value of the article by removing most of the blank entries and only keep those with items actually in there. Nothing stops you from keeping the original organization/wiki-code in a .txt file so that you can easily expand on it later and retain your original organization.

Also, you might want to fix that red link. :)
Click to expand...
I had asked Wes in the past if the format I used on this article ((In regard to the Titles with "None to date" under them)) was valid and he said it was. They are divisions that exist, I feel they should be there instead of my adding them when I need them just for prostriety sake.

As for the redlink, I don't thin it was there previously, consider it fixed. EDIT: Ah, yes, Inline TOC was removed from the plugin pool. I did not realize that.
 
CadetNewb said:
Considering that this was previously approved twice already, I'm just going to pop it back to the approved section unless there's any objection.
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In addition to what Fred stated in the previous post, I have several other major concerns regarding this submission:
 
Though these are problems, they are all relatively minor ones and not grounds for unapproval unless the submitter outright refuses to cooperate.

Looking at the very source you provided though, Gunhand did allow them to keep the PA stuff as well as the fabricator designs by the looks of it. I strongly suggest to Edto however, that he simplifies the article. Since portions of it are currently rather empty, just reducing things like the corporate divisions to being on a bullet-point list should be fine until more content is available to fill it in. Unless the Vek have an article for their date system too, just stick with YE.

As for the business template, it's not mandatory.
 
CadetNewb said:
I strongly suggest to Edto however, that he simplifies the article
Click to expand...

I said in my response to Fred, that I had asked Wes about the Category format of my submission. Originally, it was going to be Red-linked articles that I planned on building with "In Research" or "In Development" depending on their level or readiness.

He said that I could not have the red links, but as long as I had /something/ ((Eg: the "None to Date")) under each title bar, that I was okay. Over time it will be filled out, but these are things that the company has divisions for, and while the divisions may not be fleshed out with all the tech, they are there and working if not on-screen then off-screen. As I get more tech articles written they will get filled out.

As for the fabricators, in the Spoiler of that same thread, it shows a chat log of Gunhand telling me exactly the terms of the Nepleslian removal of support. I was allowed to maintain the power armour schematics, the Fabricators, and the agricultural equipment. The IC explination of this was "They just copied it" so, yes, the first paragraph is still correct. The company started when the got the technology to fabricate materials. They still have that technology.

As for everything else, they have been changed. The date, and the word spelling.
 
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CadetNewb said:
Though these are problems, they are all relatively minor ones and not grounds for unapproval...

[...]
Click to expand...

Since when was it a "minor issue" to blatantly rip off another faction's corporation and/or ignore the Submission Rules, @CadetNewb?

CadetNewb said:
As for the business template, it's not mandatory.
Click to expand...

False, as Wes and the Submission Rules say otherwise here and here, respectively.

Edto Xar'Sivaree said:
I said in my response to Fred, that I had asked Wes about the Category format of my submission. Originally, it was going to be Red-linked articles that I planned on building with "In Research" or "In Development" depending on their level or readiness.

He said that I could not have the red links, but as long as I had /something/ ((Eg: the "None to Date")) under each title bar, that I was okay. Over time it will be filled out, but these are things that the company has divisions for, and while the divisions may not be fleshed out with all the tech, they are there and working if not on-screen then off-screen. As I get more tech articles written they will get filled out.

As for the fabricators, in the Spoiler of that same thread, it shows a chat log of Gunhand telling me exactly the terms of the Nepleslian removal of support. I was allowed to maintain the power armour schematics, the Fabricators, and the agricultural equipment. The IC explination of this was "They just copied it" so, yes, the first paragraph is still correct. The company started when the got the technology to fabricate materials. They still have that technology.

As for everything else, they have been changed. The date, and the word spelling.
Click to expand...

Thanks for making the changes, and my apologies for mentioning the equipment - I mistakenly went off of what Gunhand's post said, not the chat log included in your post.
 
If people follow the same format, it's expected that things will start looking very similar. It's the same as how you can't really 'rip off' plot ideas for an example - every faction is likely to have a ground pounder plot, or a space marine plot or so on. Business articles are no different. More importantly, look at the business template itself at the very top. It explicitly states it's not a requirement, and just a guideline. More importantly, if I hold this submission to your standard? I'd have to do the same with things like NAM.

I refuse.

Now, with all things addressed, I will lock this thread - another NTSE Mod will unlock it should an issue arise.
 
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