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Star ArmyⓇ is a landmark of forum roleplaying. Opened in 2002, Star Army is like an internet clubhouse for people who love roleplaying, art, and worldbuilding. Anyone 18 or older may join for free. New members are welcome! Use the "Register" button below.

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Approved Submission [The Union] Winged Hussars

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Well, looking this over, I think the main concern would be formatting. The charts need some more work; the very first one for an example, could have the motto centered properly like the following text. Meanwhile, the later charts have empty boxes in them that you could remove. What I don't understand though, are the bolded sentences under the Operations sections. If they're supposed to be some sort of quick notes or other, I think bullet points would be better.
 
There's still those bolded bits under the 'Operations' section. I think it should be cleaned up somehow to look neater. The same goes with many of the example squad positions; they're all very light on content. If they're going to only have that much info, they should likely be arranged differently. Right now, it looks rather messy. As for the ranks though, it's not necessary to list them here in this article, so you can remove them.
 
CadetNewb said:
There's still those bolded bits under the 'Operations' section. I think it should be cleaned up somehow to look neater. The same goes with many of the example squad positions; they're all very light on content. If they're going to only have that much info, they should likely be arranged differently. Right now, it looks rather messy. As for the ranks though, it's not necessary to list them here in this article, so you can remove them.
Click to expand...
Please provide idea's of what you would like done. I personally don't see the issue, and I have no idea what you're looking for.
 
Currently, there's very little content for the spacing and formatting used. For 'Operations' just make it a proper paragraph instead of having that smaller bold text stand out. Meanwhile, with the positions, just use bullet points or something.
 
2 out of 5 positions have paragraphs to them, all have enough to be placed under a header. I used bullet points for the "Added Skills"

Did not realize I had used header code for the operation list. I'm confused as to why I did that
 
They are still too thin on content and don't look presentable, even the ones with paragraphs given the formatting used. Try bullet pointing and bolding the positions? Alternatively, add more content if you want to keep that type of format.
 
So you want me to bullet point 3 out of 5 lines, with bullet points underneath? I still don't understand what you are talking about in that section.
 
Either just turn those into bullet points, or assume the reader knows nothing about those military positions and fill them out so they're balanced. Right now, the header to content ratio is just way too unbalanced.
 
Gotta type it in here for documentation's sake. It's looking really good now. All it needs is to be wikified with links to the dates and other organizations that are mentioned and such, and it'll be good to go.
 
RPG-D RPGfix
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