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Approved Submission Reservoir System

Bullroarer

Bullroarer

Inactive Member
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It is obviously not ready.

Are you posting it early to request assistance?
 
I added some pictures. It looks like you mainly need some text for each planet (1 short paragraph of 2-4 sentences is fine).
 
What's supposed to go after the "more information?" If there's nothing to put there, those can be removed.
 
In general, the system looks ok, but the more I read on it all, the more I have a feeling that this is part of something much bigger that simply isn't linked to here. We'll have to do something about that, I think.
  • Who is Dantarius? A little bit of context of who he is/was, such as maybe being an Elysian, astronomer, etc, would help out readers who aren't familiar with any of this
  • Link to Vice earlier in the article as well
  • What's the Crown? It sounds important, and even in the Vice page, I had to do a little bit of digging to figure it out - I suggest either making The Crown a subsection of the Vice article, or having a subarticle that explains it. The reason for this is, unlike a word such as Shogun/Shogunate, this is something that looks very specific to Vice
  • Include the current owner of the system
  • What are these royal houses being referenced? If you have an article for those, please link to them.
 
If they're linked into this one that's currently under review, no. I'll go ahead and approve them as sub-articles to make things easier.
 
RPG-D RPGfix
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