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Approved Submission [Ersetu] Port North West

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Gunsight1

Gunsight1

Potato Salad
Inactive Member
Submission Type: Starbase & associated weapon
Template Used:
Submission WIP URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=faction:kishargal:stations:port_north_west
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=faction:kishargal:weapons:24_foot_laser_cannon
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=faction:kishargal:weapons:24_foot_laser_shell
Submission Destination URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=faction:kishargal:stations:port_north_west
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=faction:kishargal:weapons:24_foot_laser_cannon
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=faction:kishargal:weapons:24_foot_laser_shell

Faction: Ersetu
FM Approved Yet? (Yes/No; Who, When) yes, me, now
Faction requires art? (Yes/No) yes

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles? (Yes/No) yes, included in above links.
Contains New art? (Yes/No) yes
Previously Submitted? (Yes/No; explain reason if rejected) no

Notes: The first of the Ersetu's few deep space outposts stations.

*pings @CadetNewb


fetch.php
 
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CadetNewb said:
A tokamak is one of the most fundamentally simple fusion reactors. Anyone who knows anything should know what a tokamak is, especially considering that the setting is sci-fi, making it rather excessive to demand that additional detail.
Click to expand...

I hadn't heard of a tokamak up until now, @CadetNewb, I've been an avid reader of science fiction - and of Popular Science - for the past decade.
 
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She even said it was approvable already.

Cadet and Gunsight making something out of nothing, here.
 
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Perhaps this should be left to Gunsight and whoever he chooses to moderate his submission - which is at his discretion and not of the currently assigned moderator afaik - no permission is needed?
 
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Surprised no one is familiar with a Tokamak reactor, but since it's a real life technology, I don't think it needs a separate article. A link to the Wikipedia article is sufficient in this case.

Let's get an estimate of the the hull thickness (doesn't need to be exact) and we'll stamp this for approval.
 
I really hope everyone understands that I was not trying to frustrate or irritate anyone or halt this submission in any way! I'm excited to see it approved! ^-^
 
Speaking to the whole "tokamak" controversy, here: There's no problem and the prose is currently well within standards (linking to real wiki is acceptable, obviously). But, to a layman, it's kind of an insufficient tidbit. Allow me to explain.

Saying "tokamak" isn't like saying "nuclear reactor." People know the concept of fusion as a thing that'll be better than nuclear someday, but it is not commonplace technology yet. I can guarantee that most people on the street, much less most sci-fi fans, have no idea what "tokamak" means or what "torus type" means. And if you do find someone who is like "oh yeah bro a tokamak," then they likely have an interest in fusion by way of popular science, are a scientist themselves, or know Cold War history well.

tl;dr: Why have this?
Main power aboard Port North West is provided by 200 torus type(see Tokamak) fusion reactor.
Click to expand...
When you can have something like this?
Main power aboard Port North West is provided by 200 magnetically contained plasma fusion reactors (see Tokamak).
Click to expand...
It's about using the best words for the audience, which in SARP's case is pretty broad and diverse and international. It is not about "muh doing extra work on something that's already a good sub."
 
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@raz if you will note the wording in the article is thus:

"Main power aboard Port North West is provided by 200 torus type(see Tokamak) fusion reactor."

It doe state that it is a fusion reactor in addition to linking to the article.



Thank you for stepping in @Wes. I will make adjustments shortly.
 
Gunsight1 said:
@raz if you will note the wording in the article is thus:

"Main power aboard Port North West is provided by 200 torus type(see Tokamak) fusion reactor."

It does state that it is a fusion reactor in addition to linking to the article.
Click to expand...
Yeah, and that's great. All I am saying is this (I can find another source with the same suggestion if you don't like this one).

I guess it's really neither here nor there.
 
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So far, the only remaining issue I see would be the change Wes asked for - the ballpark thickness - and some format issues on the 24 foot laser cannon. The list of things apparently didn't go through quite right due to a smiley I think.
 
APPROVED

The submitted article is/has…
[Y] A very high level of overall quality
[Y] A general topic sentence under the title header
[Y] Artwork (Required for new species; Strongly recommended for vehicles and hand weapons)\\
[Y] Needed and/or useful to the setting
[Y] In the proper format/template
[Y] Proofread for spelling and grammar
[Y] Easy to read and understand (not a lengthy mass of technobabble)
[Y] Wikified (terms that could be a link should be a link)
[Y] No red and/or broken links
[Y] Reasonably scientifically plausible
[Y] Reasonably neutral point of view

The submitted article is/does not…
[N] Overpowered (or cutting tech for a faction with little or no roleplay)
[N] Obtusely redundant
[N] Contain copy pasta descriptions of systems or interior compartments
[N] Unauthorized by faction managers or player-controlled corporation
[N] Contain references to IC events that have not occurred (SM must authorize retcons)
[N] Use second-person language (“you” or “your”) unless it is an instructional guide aimed at players.
[N] Use bombastic language (“virtually immune,” “nearly indestructible,” “insanely powerful,” “horrible effects”)
[N] Use an unbalanced header/text ratio (many headers but sections are one-liners)
[N] Use major unapproved sub-articles that should be submitted separately
[N] Lacking Detail
[N] Images hosted on sites other than stararmy.com (Photobucket, Imageshack, etc are not allowed)

The article has…
[Y] Speeds in compliance with the Starship Speed Standard, if applicable
[Y] Damage Capacity and Damage Ratings in compliance with the DR Guidelines
[Y] The in-character year of creation/manufacture. (Should be current year. Future years not allowed).
[N/A] The Standard Product Nomenclature System, if applicable.
 
Look, it's ok to not know what you're talking about in the NTSE since we learn through our mistakes. However, it's not ok to insist that you're right after the mod has told you that you're wrong and why.

You can very easily scroll up and see Ame handing off the review to me. Plus, it's clear that the nomenclature is an In-Character thing; it was made by KZ for its own use, and others in the area simply picked it up. Meanwhile, the Ersetu have been in isolation for centuries, so it doesn't make sense for them to use it.
 
I've already gone over this with you Frost, but I will repeat it for your benefit; it's used if applicable. The checklist itself even says "if applicable". In this case, it isn't. The Ersetu haven't even heard of KZ, and as a result, it does not apply. You know. Not applicable?
 
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