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Abandoned Submission [Non-Approvable] Light Weapon Emplacements

Arbitrated

Arbitrated

The Smollest Smol
Submission URL
https://stararmy.com/wiki/doku.php?id=stararmy:equipment:ke-o2-2a_light_weapon_emplacement
Submission Faction(s)
  1. Yamatai (except Elysia)
Submission Terms
  1. I agree
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:stararmy:equipment:ke-o2-2a_light_weapon_emplacement (Repasting the link because I'm a liiiittle bit paranoid...)


So I wanna get this formally reviewed by the NTSE but... Not actually like, approved officially. Not yet, anyways. The reason I don't want it approved right now is because I want to set up the in character reasoning/the RP for actually making it and all that jazz before it becomes officially canon as part of the setting. However, i want it to be, well... ready to go as soon as that happens, where then I can just put it up as a proper application and get it approved pretty quickly.
 
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So, rough translation means “On Hold.”

‘K.

Write down the number of hardpoints first plz

Due to obvious bias issues I will not review this.
 
There's uh, two hardpoints? And one on the smaller one. It says it on the wiki page.



(Also, you nerds liking this, even if you ain't NTSE I could use the feedback : P)
 
:3


Then make up a dumb reason that it needs to be improved, something like it doesn't let you ride it like a mechanical horse or something : P
 
" was sent to Ketsurui Fleet Yards for mass production." (It would make more sense for it to be, "...sent to Ketsurui Fleet Yards. With those plans, the KFY engineers and technicians were able to build the sentries from the design and began testing. Later, they were slated to be mass produced." This just seems closer to what would happen in RP, but could change depending on how you do things.)

If it has the hinomaru, it should also have SAoY sub-systems. Particularly "its own sensor package and pseudo-AI" need to be SAoY-ified.

Can you include the height in feet and meters. ("The linking system is heavily encrypted and cannot be readily managed..." (Can you explain what you mean by managed within the article itself?)

You'll need the carrier module submission done.

"forcing the turret to attack normally-friendly targets." (This should come with extra security measures.)

Very thorough!
 
Changed the bits about mass production/KFY, and added a sliiight bit more to the initial creation that basically states that the first one was more or less a heap of parts instead of a coherent, clean weapon mount : P

Changed the sensor package/AI bit to just be a sensor package, this works 100% perfectly for what the turrets are supposed to do!

Added (smelly) imperial measurements to the sizes.

I tweaked the description of how the links are handled to hopefully make more sense.

Mindy module will probably be done in a couple of days, don't have it started yet but planned to mess around w/ it.

Added a bit of security to the attacking friendlies bit!
 
Something about adding a sensor system from a shuttle onto a sentry seems lame to me. Can it be something a bit more powered than that? CIES?
 
D'ya think the AIES would fit better? IMO that would make more sense due to the turret's effective "role" of sorts, as well as kinda/sorta fitting with the idea of the original one being made out of spare Mindy components and the like.



(Also, I updated a bit about the weapons, basically stating that they have limited negative vertical rotation/can't aim down very well but can aim up nicely for AA/indirect fire artillery.)
 
Thanks for the wait Arbs. Here are some of my pre-checklist thoughts.

"The larger variant is approximately as durable as the standard Ke-M2 "Mindy" Series of Power Armor, approximately the same durability (Tier 4). While it is not fully protected by its barrier, said barrier is equivalent in power.

The smaller LWE is similar, however its smaller size and consequentially reduced amount of armor compare it to a heavy, non-powered armor15). Its built-in shield is similar in strength."

15) links to DRv3 Tier 3 and I think it should instead be listed as DR was listed above with (Tier 3) in parentheses like above. Go one step further and list that tier's such as Heavy Anti-Personnel or Light Anti-Armor and it would be even better.

"These cheap and deployable turrets were originally designed as a personal project using mostly spare Mindy components and modules strapped together, but after initial simulated testing proved to be somewhat successful a design was sent to Ketsurui Fleet Yards for refinement by proper engineers, as well as further testing, and mass production for the SAoY."

This is a run on and incomplete sentence. How you said "...but after initial.." means you need to follow up with something about what it ended up doing. I think if you re-worded the sentence like this (doesn't have to be this:
"These cheap and deployable turrets were originally designed as a personal project using mostly spare Mindy components and modules strapped together. After initial simulated testing proved to be somewhat successful a design was sent to Ketsurui Fleet Yards for refinement by proper engineers, as well as further testing, and then began mass production for the SAoY."

Biggest changes are that I added, "and then began" as well as chopped up a sentence and took out one word, "and" but anyway...

I think you shouldn't link the AIES as an "electronics package" but instead as "AIES". We should all know what AIES is.

Hello! Let's see if this submission meets the requirements for inclusion in Star Army's lore...

[ ✔️ ] 1. The destination URL should be a page in the appropriate namespace and titled lower_case_with_underscores
[ ❌ ] 2. The article is in the appropriate format and article template
[ ✔️ ] 3. The article follows our wiki style guidelines, including: No forced line breaks, text after each section header, etc.
[ ❌ ] 4. The article is easily read and free of errors in spelling and grammar
[ ✔️ ] 5. Links to other wiki articles are present as appropriate
[ ✔️ ] 6. The article fits into the Star Army universe's space opera theme and technology levels
[ ✔️ ] 7. Images in the article are hosted on Star Army's wiki and sourced responsibly (contact Wes privately if there's a concern)
[ ✔️ ] 8. The article is original and doesn't contain copy-pasted content from other articles.
[ ❔ ] 9. The article complies with Star Army's rules in terms of damage ratings, speed limits, etc.
[ N/A ] 10. The Faction Manager(s), if applicable, have posted approval for this article in this thread.

Here's some fixes this article still needs:
The spelling and grammar is just for the stuff above btw
The page title should be like how the Mindy 4's page is set up. The nomenclature of the title should should be changed to match what the URL is.
It's not in the weapons template?
Are the biggest versions "bigger than human-sized"?
I can't find a place w
 
RPG-D RPGfix
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