-
If you were supposed to get an email from the forum but didn't (e.g. to verify your account for registration), email Wes at [email protected] or talk to me on Discord for help. Sometimes the server hits our limit of emails we can send per hour.
-
Get in our Discord chat! Discord.gg/stararmy
Approved Character Alexis Morwind (Orochi Squadron)
- Thread starter Ace
- Start date
paladinrpg
Well-Known Member
Okay, looking through things there is a lot here that is inconsistent:
First off, you can't be 16 years old as a Neko, unless you are someone else of that natural age that was Soul Transferred into that body type. Certainly they look about that age, however most starting infantry Neko in Orochi are usually only 1 year old or less...
I'd also note Neko can't really have scars, though you could perhaps have a spot where you may have healed a little funny from a serious incident (frizzy hair, for example).
Secondly, I'd really prefer that all PC's be SAoY troopers. Your skill set seems consistent with being one, yet you say she is a mercenary with stealth ops and pilot training. It would be difficult to work in such a concept -- unless you are perhaps wanting me to concoct a reason to rescue you from being a prisoner on the NMX ship or stuck on the planet Jun fighting the occupation?
You need to decide on these topics before we can move forward.
First off, you can't be 16 years old as a Neko, unless you are someone else of that natural age that was Soul Transferred into that body type. Certainly they look about that age, however most starting infantry Neko in Orochi are usually only 1 year old or less...
I'd also note Neko can't really have scars, though you could perhaps have a spot where you may have healed a little funny from a serious incident (frizzy hair, for example).
Secondly, I'd really prefer that all PC's be SAoY troopers. Your skill set seems consistent with being one, yet you say she is a mercenary with stealth ops and pilot training. It would be difficult to work in such a concept -- unless you are perhaps wanting me to concoct a reason to rescue you from being a prisoner on the NMX ship or stuck on the planet Jun fighting the occupation?
You need to decide on these topics before we can move forward.
Aendri
Inactive Member
As a neko, in order to be a mercenary, she would either have to have completed her required service time (in which case, keep in mind, her body would've been downgraded to the civilian levels) and moved on to private life, which means she's had 3 years of military service and then however much time she's spent outside of the military leading up to now, or she was born naturally, in which case the history needs more details, especially because that would mean her MOTHER was a neko who served in the military at some point.
Aendri
Inactive Member
Just a quick rundown.
Second line in Build doesn't belong there. That would fit more in a physical skill, not a description of appearance.
A tail also isn't a huge identifier anymore. They've been back around for long enough that there are plenty of nekos with them again.
First line of personality should probably be "quiet" not "quite". The second to last line is also pretty much completely contradictory. You can't be both completely cold and very friendly in how you address someone, it's pretty much one or the other.
You gotta have something in goals. It doesn't have to be anything incredible, but everyone has something they want out of life. And there are no "unknown"s in the wiki. Think of it as God's character sheet for a character.
The history is still... Well, I'll leave that determination up to Paladin. I don't like it, but if it's good enough for Pally, I'll let it pass. Generally speaking, if you're so traumatized by something you were unable to continue service it would be a matter of YEARS before you could even consider taking up a combat job again, if ever, but you have her being born, fighting, being discharged, finding work, and having moved on completely all within 2 years. Like I said though, I'll leave that one up to Pally.
The last 3 skills all need some work. Starship operations you need to clarify what she's trained in operating. Flying the various scales of ships are very different propositions, and she wasn't in the military for long enough to know all of them for damn sure. Boarding operations would also go under Fighting, not Starship.
Survival should probably be tuned down a bit. Again, it's a matter of time. We're talking someone who has only been around for 2 years, but they're supposed to be a combat specialist, a flight specialist, and now a stealth specialist? Try to look at it from this perspective. If it takes a solid year to become truly skilled at something, and she's spent just a year growing up and learning how to be just good enough in everything else, she still doesn't have enough time to become a specialist in as many fields as you have right now.
Same thing again with the Physical skill. Right off the bat, let me clarify that all nekos are highly resistant to pain or elements whenever they want to be, since they can just disable their pain receptors, or other such tricks. That's the benefit of being a digital being. But the acrobatics, again, is a skill people train in for literal years to get really good at. Stop trying to be an expert at everything, and pick what you want the character to specialize in, and then tone the other stuff back. Everything else can come with time.
On the inventory, you're going to have to seriously reconsider the Zesu equipment. First off, Zesu is heavily restricted, so it's hard as hell to get even chunks of the metal, let alone specialized gear made of it, because it can't be reworked. Think of Zesu like making a stone weapon. You can only work with the material that's there, you can't melt it down and change shape after the fact, and KZ is the only group that can make stuff up front with it. Picking up a single Zesu weapon on the market would be a big deal for most people, two would be incredible, and two heavily specialized, unique ones would be effectively impossible.
That aside, the Long Sword needs to be reworked. You can't put two different type 2 mods on a weapon without also doing the Massive mod, and right now you have the Retractable and Concussion. Same goes for the knife, which has the Vibro and Shock mods, both type 2. Even if they weren't made of Zesu, that wouldn't fly.
Mostly quick little stuff, but it does need addressing.
Second line in Build doesn't belong there. That would fit more in a physical skill, not a description of appearance.
A tail also isn't a huge identifier anymore. They've been back around for long enough that there are plenty of nekos with them again.
First line of personality should probably be "quiet" not "quite". The second to last line is also pretty much completely contradictory. You can't be both completely cold and very friendly in how you address someone, it's pretty much one or the other.
You gotta have something in goals. It doesn't have to be anything incredible, but everyone has something they want out of life. And there are no "unknown"s in the wiki. Think of it as God's character sheet for a character.
The history is still... Well, I'll leave that determination up to Paladin. I don't like it, but if it's good enough for Pally, I'll let it pass. Generally speaking, if you're so traumatized by something you were unable to continue service it would be a matter of YEARS before you could even consider taking up a combat job again, if ever, but you have her being born, fighting, being discharged, finding work, and having moved on completely all within 2 years. Like I said though, I'll leave that one up to Pally.
The last 3 skills all need some work. Starship operations you need to clarify what she's trained in operating. Flying the various scales of ships are very different propositions, and she wasn't in the military for long enough to know all of them for damn sure. Boarding operations would also go under Fighting, not Starship.
Survival should probably be tuned down a bit. Again, it's a matter of time. We're talking someone who has only been around for 2 years, but they're supposed to be a combat specialist, a flight specialist, and now a stealth specialist? Try to look at it from this perspective. If it takes a solid year to become truly skilled at something, and she's spent just a year growing up and learning how to be just good enough in everything else, she still doesn't have enough time to become a specialist in as many fields as you have right now.
Same thing again with the Physical skill. Right off the bat, let me clarify that all nekos are highly resistant to pain or elements whenever they want to be, since they can just disable their pain receptors, or other such tricks. That's the benefit of being a digital being. But the acrobatics, again, is a skill people train in for literal years to get really good at. Stop trying to be an expert at everything, and pick what you want the character to specialize in, and then tone the other stuff back. Everything else can come with time.
On the inventory, you're going to have to seriously reconsider the Zesu equipment. First off, Zesu is heavily restricted, so it's hard as hell to get even chunks of the metal, let alone specialized gear made of it, because it can't be reworked. Think of Zesu like making a stone weapon. You can only work with the material that's there, you can't melt it down and change shape after the fact, and KZ is the only group that can make stuff up front with it. Picking up a single Zesu weapon on the market would be a big deal for most people, two would be incredible, and two heavily specialized, unique ones would be effectively impossible.
That aside, the Long Sword needs to be reworked. You can't put two different type 2 mods on a weapon without also doing the Massive mod, and right now you have the Retractable and Concussion. Same goes for the knife, which has the Vibro and Shock mods, both type 2. Even if they weren't made of Zesu, that wouldn't fly.
Mostly quick little stuff, but it does need addressing.
paladinrpg
Well-Known Member
Wow, thanks Aendri. You are really good at what you do.
That being said, I agree that you can't be good at everything right out of the gate. One of the easiest way to trip up with a first character.
That being said, I agree that you can't be good at everything right out of the gate. One of the easiest way to trip up with a first character.
paladinrpg
Well-Known Member
I'm not a stickler on the character backstory in Orochi (as it is meant to be loose Open RP), it's more about what you're about to do in the here and now!
I think everything looks good enough to go. Approved for use, if no other complaints.
I think everything looks good enough to go. Approved for use, if no other complaints.
Aendri
Inactive Member
This isn't something that should hold up the approval or anything, but, uh. Yamataium for a weapon would be like making it out of gold. It's not that it's a weak material, but it's much softer than most metals, so it won't be able to hold an edge anywhere near as well as most other metals. It's primarily an armor material for just that reason. Your best bet is to either use a standard Durandium sort of material, a standard normal metal like steel, or combine materials. Durandium blade with a nerimium edge is a pretty common one.
