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  • 📅 December 2022 is YE 44.9 in the RP.

RP A Campaign of Shock and Awe


Inactive Member
RP Date
YE 43
RP Location
Kyoto, Yamatai Star Empire
The Office of the Yamatai People's Political Society, Kyoto Imperial District, Yamatai

The Yamatai People’s Political Society is a rising party in the world of Yamataian politics, under the ‘leadership’ of famed celebrity chef turned politician Milton Sakamoto the party was claiming leads in polls all over the Star Empire which was remarkable for two reasons. First Sakamoto had done no actual leading he just bounced from world to world campaigning for whatever senate candidate they needed him to. Second, the party had absolutely no coherent ideology they were more of a catchall for anyone who wanted to run for office that couldn’t get attention from the other parties.

It was a busy day for the Yamatai People’s Political Society interns and functionaries were running back and forth: some were sending files to each other, some were asking for files, some were asking if their coworkers received the files they sent over less than a minute ago! At the head of the back of the office, floor were four offices arranged in a semi-circle. These offices were bastions of calm in chaos none dared approach their heavy doors. A purple-skinned Neko in office attire named Hana Matsuri balanced four cups on a tray. A latte topped with a beautiful head of foam embellished with a stylized chrysanthemum, a cup of brown sludge water acquired from a small street cart two blocks from the office building, a cup that is only technically coffee in so far that it was brown and bitter most consumers would have called it whiskey but it was still served in a mug with a picture of a small kitten just hanging in there, and a glass of water with a small label that said 3 pm coffee.

Hana crossed an invisible line that none of the other staffers had been willing to touch as if a spell had been broken a voice rang out from the middle right office“TELL HIM HE’S AS USELESS A FUCKING MARZIPAN DILDO!” followed by the unmistakable sound of a chair being flung at the wall. A tall disheveled Elysian stormed out wearing a dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up and tie loose around his neck. Without another word he grabbed the beautiful artistic latte and downed it in a single swig. He scrunched his face and looked at Hana. That was the worst whiskey I’ve ever had. But you’re new so you get a pass.” This was Malachi Azazel the head of public relations, a grizzled veteran of the political scene who was persuaded to jump ship from Origin industries after he shattered a model starship over a C level’s head for something that had to do with a mistress and stock secrets. He kept the party’s image intact under great effort thanks to the wild card format they happened to run under. Today happened to be what he would rank as the worst day of his life in a life of never-ending suffering brought about by the ceaseless folly of a carnival of chucklefucks and malicious incompetents.

Hana bowed her head “yes Mr. Azazel very sorry”

The unstable Elysian forced a smile that showed off every wrinkle on his miserable face, he turned to go back into his office but was frozen by a sing-song voice from one of the neighboring offices “Malachi! you’re going to scare the poor girl, we need to come together in this time of terrible crisis.” A Nekovalkirja with long straw-colored hair that matched the color of her round glasses poked her head out of her office. She practically skipped her way out to the mobile coffee center. “Oh it looks like you forgot my latte with 3 pumps caramel, 2 pumps vanilla, ¼ pump lavender, 1-ounce almond milk, 2 ounces soy foam, and a chrysanthemum drawn on top.”

Hana stammered unwilling to call out Malachi. “That’s alright dear I’d rather you not try at all than get it wrong and force me to drink something utterly disgusting like a whole pump of lavender!” This was Sigrid Balderdottir, head of analytics and information. No one really knows where she comes from most rumors revolve around SAINT or similar intelligence communities while more outlandish rumors put her as an NMX infiltrator playing the longest game in history. Regardless of who she was who she is is a data wizard capable of processing and tabulating thousands of millions of points of information to cope with whatever crisis the party has in a day. Today was a good day for her, not because she was enjoying herself but because every day was a good day when your alive in this beautiful universe.

“Look!” Hana jumped as a bass-heavy voice suddenly made its presence known “we have dealt with worse in my time and we will deal with worse again” A man who looked like he could tell dirt he knew its grandma grabbed the sludge coffee which he sipped with such vigor it fogged his spotlight sized glasses. Running a hand through what few hairs he had left on his he continued before anyone could possibly cut him off “This party is not Sakamoto’s party, it’s our party just because he got drunk on an Empire-wide broadcast and maybe insulted a few public figures doesn’t mean we’re sunk! We just have to come together and stand as one against-“ Takeda Khazaria has been writing political texts since he could speak which most place sometime around the invention of language. After a radical phase of violent anarchist action that climaxed in a three-day siege of a medium-sized water park, Takeda served a stint in the Yamataian prison system. He ran for senate every single election while incarcerated. Upon his release, he claimed his days of firebomb throwing are over and now he’d rather work with the system than against it but he’s far too up in years to actually serve on the senate so he’d rather promote some like-minded souls who can effect change for the people. He founded the YPPS and made himself head of policy writing even though they hold no elected officials to actually write policy for. Today was a miserable day for him because any day where he wasn’t actively throwing rocks through windows or painting anti-government slogans on walls was a miserable day.

“Could you please just shut up! He didn’t insult some movie star.” A small Minkan woman with her hair tied back in a ponytail so tight it looked like it was affecting her face shape shuffled out of the last occupied office. A long conservative skirt and suit jacket and shirt she whispered to the group “He spoke at length about how Yui’s ears were, and I quote ‘really freaky’ and how when he was younger he wanted to abolish the monarchy because of them.” Takeda smiled at the words ‘abolish the monarchy’ the woman continued “we can’t use him for a restaurant opening let alone the campaign!” She noticed Hana for the first time and saw the glass of water a smiled, she produced a small bottle of colorful pills from her breast pocket and popped three of them into her mouth followed by the water from Hana’s tray. To herself, she said, “I love you coffee”. Her smile disappeared, Hojo Hiroyuki was the YPPS’s director of sapient resources, she spent most of her day lecturing candidates on acceptable dress codes and media behavior. She was a Joto Heisho during the Mishu Wars where she maintained the strictest possible state of discipline at all times. After an unpopular military career, she left and found a job at Origin Industries where she was an equally unpopular HR higher up. When Malachi joined the YPPS he would have no one else but “The Empress Bitch in all fire and glory” to lead his team. What was truly perplexing was that the two of them never spoke beyond curt nods or aggressive glares either at Origin or at the party. Today was simply a day for Hojo Hirayuki because “to assign a rank to your days will create a never-ending downward spiral as each day is actually worse than the last.

Takeda turned to the crowd of office workers who had all stopped and were staring blankly at their leadership “Look! Our best asset to winning a solid position this election just committed political suicide-“

“Soon to be real suicide if I have my say” Azazel quipped.

Hiroyuki picked up the speech “We need volunteers to get out and help fix this before that risotto stirring layabout sinks this ship before it’s out of dry dock.”

“If anyone thinks they could step up and help the party out we’d really appreciate it, you just have to have good communication skills-” Sigrid said like a preschool teacher looking for a line leader

“A knowledge of politics,” Takeda said more like a cough than a statement.

“You must be willing to do what needs to be done for a better Yamatai and a better party” Hojo announced with all the warmth of the darkest corners of space.

“And not be fucking morons!” Azazel spat.

Hana looked back and forth between the four committee heads and then down to the mug whiskey alone on her tray.
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Convention Veteran
Senator for Essia Anslen Volontany slid through the chaos caused by the latest scandal. He was head and shoulders above the crowd, a tall and thin Separa'Shan with a hawk-like face and streaks of grey in his hair. He was an older Separa'Shan, which was uncommon off of Essia, he had been an older man during first contact. He had been what had amounted to an industrialist in the late medieval tech level of the planet before first contact. The death of his daughter to pirates had awoken him to the realities of the larger galaxy. He had become a leader in the pro-Yamatai party and pushing for more innovations and the spread of technology on his homeworld. As senator for Essia during the occupation, he had risen to prominence in the senate of Yamatai. He deliberately walked the middle road, often acting as the swing vote on close measures in the senate. He didn't have a party in the larger Yamatai political scene, which gave him freedom and independence in a way that many other senators couldn't match.

He was accompanied by two assistants, Naja Sumatrana and Jiyoung Kim. Naja was much shorter in length than the lanky Senator, being from the venomous half of the species. It didn't help that she was missing the last foot of her tail due to her participation in the resistance to the Kuvexian occupation. Jiyoung was a Neko who was born on Essia during the occupation. Her mother had passed all of her memories to her daughter so that she could fight against the Kuvexians. They both carried tablets, Anslen didn't carry any.

While they were distracted with their getting volunteers, the three of them slipped into Azazel's office. While Anslen sat in a guest chair, his two assistants stood quietly and unobtrusively. When Azazel returned, "It sounds like you are having a bad day." Anslen observed.


Inactive Member
The office floor went silent as no one immediately raised their hands. Azazel’s eye started to twitch. It could have been a minute or two hours of unadulterated silence. The staffers looked up longingly at their leaders. Some of them had been loyal followers of Takeda hoping to be on the vanguard of an ideological charge that would turn Yamatai on its head. Others thought they were going to climb the ranks and rub shoulders with the elite. Some just needed an office job to fluff their resumes. The problem was none of them really wanted to get their hands dirty and so each and every person in that office stayed silent.

Hana Matsuri continued to look down at the whiskey glass, she watched it shake as her nervousness sent tremors through her arms and into the liquid. She remembered some advice that had been given to her by one of her heroes who was now technically a rival on the political scene. She whispered to herself “have the right passion.” and without warning her hand shot up “I’ll volunteer, what do you need me to do?” Every staffer in the office let out a collective sigh so powerful it might have disturbed some papers. All four members of the leadership committee offered looks that could only be summarized as holy shit did the coffee machine just speak?

Sigrid offered the widest smile she could and practically sang out “Wonderful! We can’t wait to start working with you…”

“Hana Matsuri ma’am”

“Hana, of course! I always liked how you didn’t get coffee wrong!”

“What the fuck am I supposed to with this?” Azazel shouted to the room arms outstretched in Hana’s direction

Takeda’s face fell with a huff. He turned around clumsily and shuffled off to his office, truly showing his age for the first time since the party was founded.

Hojo looked down her nose at the small purple Neko and then up to Azazel. She narrowed her eyes at him. Azazel’s face twisted back at her into a grimace. Hojo spun on her heels and marched back to her office.

Completely ignoring Azazel, Sigrid leaned over and smiled at Hana, “Malachi will get you all set up, good luck! We all believe in you, no pressure…” her voice faded behind her office door.

Azazel picked up the whiskey glass “glad you found a decent drink this time, maybe I can work with you. Now follow!” He speed-walked his way into his office.

Azazel’s Very Abused Office

Hana jumped at the sight of the surprise visitor; she didn’t notice anyone come in but her inner political geek quickly recognized the senator from Essia. She wanted to introduce herself but figured it would be best to let Azazel do the talking.

On the other hand, Anslen’s unexpected presence didn’t phase Azazel who stepped briskly to a scuff-marked and dented portion of wall and collected his office chair. “Bad day? A bad ducking day is when you wake up with your mistress in your wife’s bed. This is shittier than a bad day, this is an apocalyptic fucking day!”

He froze when he realized who he was speaking to. This couldn’t have just been a social call, was Anslen trying to run some kind of play with him? Was this a genuine life raft or just a parachute for Azazel alone? “Senator Volontany, to what do I owe the pleasure? Apologies for the chaos but as you may have heard it’s been a bad day here at the YPPS.” He took a sip of whiskey and forced an uncomfortable smile still unsure what to do with this new visitor.


Convention Veteran
The Senator nodded, taking Azazel's ranting in stride. "Yes, literally the only reason your party is notable at all seems to think the best reason to abolish the monarchy is that Yui has weird ears. However, it's become a sort of catch all for people who are not comfortably aligned with the major parties. Part of that reason is that you, or more accurately Sakamoto, has tapped into something. Something that can be shaped into a formidable force. I'm sure you are aware that Katsuko has announced she is is running for Premier as the current one is stepping down, she is currently unopposed. What I'm not sure you are aware of is that it is very likely to remain that way. No one seems to be willing to run against a Ketsurui." Anslen explained.