Aendri
Inactive Member
Jen sat quietly at the end of the bar, drinking slowly from the bottle in her hand while she thought about nothing in particular. It was the slow point in her day, that time when not many people care to be seen in bars, or even particularly think of going to one, even one that did food like Jensen's. As a result, she had her feet up on the bar, and was simply staring off into space, sipping at a bottle of something that wasn't on a menu anywhere, waiting for inspiration to strike, or perhaps even the rare customer.
Jaisa was wandering through the streets of Francia City. Under her arm she carried a large rectangular map in which she stored sheets of paper with paintings and drawings on them, over her shoulder hung a small backpack. The rest of her body was wrapped in warm, faux-fur lined clothing. Fed up with being in the cold for the day and ready for a warming cup tea she had followed other people's advice to make her way to a place called 'Jensen's Bar'. Arriving there she stood before the door, hesitating for moments "...There might be a lot people in there..." she said quietly to herself... Then clenching her hand around the map firmly before opening the door with her other hand, stepping into the warmth of the bar.
Jensen looked up as she heard her door opening, slowly taking the bottle down from her lips, an eyebrow cocking. Helashio weren't all that common in Nepleslian space to start with, and this Helashio looked like she'd been through a war or two, and Jen could appreciate that feeling. She was also a new person in town, which wasn't exactly common for a settlement in the middle of nowhere like Francia. "Well now. Been a while since I've seen a new face in here." She pulled her dusty old combat boots off of the bar, and stood up, giving the bar a quick sweep with a rag there, and stepped over towards the new person, holding out a hand. "Nice to meet you. I'm Amelia, but you can just call me Jen."
Jaisa set down the map against her leg, freeing her right hand to meet that of the woman who introduced herself as Amelia 'Jen'. Her own hand cold from the outside, gripping weakly as she shook Jen's hand "Likewise... My name is Jaisa. People directed me here for a warming drink or two." she said with the faintest smile. Her hazel and blue eyes avoiding yours without appearing to do so intentionally, instead seeming to stare at various things in her surroundings.
Jen shook Jaisa's hand firmly, her solid, rough grip meeting the light, weak grip of the Helashio readily. "Well, they steered you to the right place, that's for sure. I'm the only local brewer on the planet, and I've got food too, if you're hungry." She waved a hand at the bar in a general sort of way, and made her way back behind it as she did. "Just find a seat wherever you want, I'll grab you a menu, assuming you'd like one, of course."
Jaisa cringed a little at the firm grip, almost appearing to shrink, but not quite. Glad to have her hand back as Jen turned to show her bar "Mhhh, food would not be the worst idea..." she said in the softest voice. Not quiet, just so gentle that if it were physical, it's feel like silk. Her eyes trailed the room in a calculating manner... shaking her head at the place most distant to the bar... then the tables at the bar itself... clenching her jaw a little, then nodding affirmatively to herself as she picked up the map and followed in Jen's general path, setting a few chairs away from her. Sitting herself down and settled her stuff on the ground against the bar. She took in a long breath... and sighed in a sort of relaxed manner as she adjusted to her new surroundings, bar lady included.
Jen nodded, and pulled one of her leatherbound menus out from underneath the bar, handing it over quickly before dropping an arm on the bar and leaning up against it. "So, have any idea what you'd like to drink? I've got a little bit of almost everything, just name your poison."
Jaisa carefully looked up at the lady, slowly dragging the menu and opening it, after which she turned her eyes to the text inside "Something warm would be nice... tea perhaps" she said in the same soft voice. Tucking away some of the blood red strands of hair behind her pointy ears as she looked over the lunch menu.
Jensen's eyebrow cocked up again at that, but shrugged. It wasn't her place to question why someone was coming to a bar to drink tea, especially in Nepleslian space, so she'd just leave it be. The girl was lucky enough that she had tea at all right now. "I hope you're not expecting anything special here. We're in the ass-end of Nepleslian space, tea isn't exactly a high priority for the import guys."
Jaisa looked up from the menu and smiled faintly "Ah, I don't expect much either. I haven't come to the 'ass-end' of Nepleslian space to drink tea," she told Jen. "An odd planet like this can have beautiful landscapes, the strange architecture is also intriguing. All good inspiration for art," she says sounding almost absent, as if painting pictures in her mind already.
Jen slowly poured a cup of tea, then filled a small teapot and carried both back out of the small kitchen with her. "Sounds like you've at least got a better reason than most people who end up out here. About the only people here are Marines, so I have no idea why anybody would want to come here, really." She set the pair of items down in front of Jaisa on the bar, and nodded at the menu. "See anything you like? I don't have a huge selection, but I can usually manage."
Jaisa nodded slowly. "The Chicken Wrap sound very delicious," she said with a sparkle of life in her voice. "I've never had chicken before... nor bacon, that's from pigs right?" She asked with curiosity, poring down at the menu for a few moments again. "Sweet Potato Fries?" she noted with lingering interest.
Jen leaned back on the bar again, nodding. "Bacon is absolutely awesome, it's one of my favorite kinds of meat, to be sure. Chicken less so, but it's still good if it's your thing. The sweet potato fries, on the other hand... they're definitely not my thing. They sell really well though, so I must be doing something right with them, that's for sure. If you're just looking for a snack, not a meal though, I'd recommend the wrap and the fries together, if you're interested. I can do a small thing of fries for you."
Jaisa's eyes went adrift over the forward leaning lady, talking so richly about food alone. She was pleased with the interaction she had and smiled faintly to herself. "Reading this menu has made me a good deal hungrier, but for now I'll go with your recommendation," she said still ever so softly but with more and more hints of intonation and life. She wrapped her hands around the cup of tea, warming herself with it. Her tail, which was hanging over the back of the bar stool, gave a content swish.
Jensen nodded and stepped back into the kitchen, audibly turning on various devices as she set to work, poking her head back out after just a moment. "Oh, I almost forgot to ask. Would you like that chicken grilled, or fried? I can do either. And, ah.. if you're really getting hungry now, I can make a full thing of fries or a double warp for you. Since I'm firing everything up, it doesn't make a difference to me."
Jaisa wriggled on her seat, her tail swishing some more. "Grilled," she responded swiftly ".. Oh I don't know... a double wrap and a full thing of fries sounds fine. I'm not a big eater but my appetite explores new frontiers." she said somewhat jokingly, but with her calm voice, probably coming off as too serious. Sighing for a moment before slipping her tail into her backpack's handles lifting the whole up to the bar where she took out a few pencils and a lineless notebook. As she sat the bag back down she started sketching bits of her surroundings.
Jensen nodded and ducked back into the kitchen, throwing a couple strips of chicken on her grill as she started up the fries, deciding to go ahead and make a full batch. It wasn't like she wouldn't use them all up today, anyway. "So, while I'm getting all of this going. Just for the sake of my curiosity, what's a Helashio doing out here? We don't see many of you in the Empire to start with, what with the slave trade finally drying up and the war, all that, pleasant landscape or not."
"I needed to get out" Jaisa replied quite immediately "Away from Lor... too much stuff happened there. And there isn't much here, so perhaps not much will happen here either." She added, her voice a bit empty itself. She stared at the cup of tea, the tiny ripples that echoed back and forth as she tapped the cup with a nail. "I am in need of a place to figure stuff out, far away from what clouds my mind."
A barking laugh echoed back out of the kitchen, clearly translating Jen's amusement to the Helashio. "Well, if by 'not much here' you mean people, you're completely right. The wildlife isn't all that friendly though, so I don't recommend trying to make friends." There was a slight rattle and a hand popped back around the corner, holding the overly large Styrling Mancannon. "There's a reason I carry this thing whenever I'm out."
Jaisa looked and shrieked as she saw the weapon, shooting back and tumbling down off of her chair, scrambling to hide against the bar inbetween her backpack and drawing map "Don't! DON'T!" she suddenly jelled, shivering as she held her legs close to her with her arms and tail "d-don't..." she then muttered shakily.
The hand disappeared shortly followed by Jensen reappearing, gun still in hand, though hidden by the bar now. "What in hell is up with that reaction, girl? I thought someone had actually managed to sneak into my bar and rape you or something!"
"The gun... just, don't... " she stammers incoherently, her voice clearly shaken and in panic. Looking up maybe to see if Jen was there "Please... just put it away" she begged.
Jensen shrugged and nodded, heading back into the kitchen where that rattling noise could be heard again, with the tall woman reappearing shortly after to make her way around the bar and help Jaisa up. "I'm not gonna ask, but you need to get used to guns if you're going to be living in Nepleslian space, sweety. Everyone carries, especially on little frontier worlds like this."
Jaisa slowly clambered up, peering over the edge with scared, shifty eyes "Not if you're in the room with one other person... no way anyone would stop... you..." she says, falling silent as she realises this wasn't entirely nice "... it's not your fault... " she mumbles, staring at the bar surface as she tried sitting back down on the chair... her tail still big and poofy from being scared. She let her hand slip over the leatherlike collar around her neck... rubbing it a little "I just have a bad experience with guns..." she added quietly.
Jensen nodded and made her way back around the bar into the kitchen again. "Like I said, I'm not going to ask. None of my business, unless you want to make it mine. But understand that this is a bar for Marines, mostly, so almost everyone carries. I just lock all of the guns away back here while they're in here." There was a pause as Jensen could be heard to be fixing something in the back room before she stepped back out with the plate of sweet potato fries and put it in front of Jaisa. "If you're touchy around guns, it's probably going to be hell on your nerves once they start getting off duty and heading this way."
Jaisa sighed, staring at the plate "...more people... it's fine... peer pressure and support..." she explained with a slightly choked voice before taking a sip from the cup. Smiling up at Jensen, the scar over her lip standing out even more due to it "thanks..." she said to the woman "I'll... I'll be fine"
Jensen nodded and started to turn away before hesitating. "I'm... sorry, by the way. Didn't mean to scare you or anything. Just came up in conversation. I'm not exactly a people person." That said, she ducked back into the kitchen, where rustling could be heard, as well as chopping and other such normal kitchen noises.
Jaisa just smiled faintly after Jensen, shoving her drawing block aside and pulling the plate of fries closer. Inhaling their earthy, sweet scent with curiousity. Carefully picking one up to see if they were at an edible temperature. Nodding to herself as she took a bite off of it, slowly chewing and savouring the flavor with an intense smile.
Jensen's head poked back out around the corner, though she carefully kept the knife in her hand back out of sight. "So? How are they?"
"Mhh divine~" Jaisa said with a mouthful, swallowing and smirking up, looking a bit bubblier "Do you have any sauces I could try?" she added delightedly, her smile a lot more real then it was before.
Jen cocked an eyebrow and looked back into the kitchen. "Ah... several, yeah. Do you have anything in mind? Most people don't even ask for anything with them, so I have no idea what even goes well on them."
Jaisa shrugged "They're sweet... something very herby would perhaps work?" she suggested, meanwhile nibbling on another one. Curiously leaning towards the kitchen door to look in.
Jen pursed her lips for a moment, nodded, and disappeared for a few moments before reappearing with a small bowl. "I use this on the chicken, actually, when I'm grilling. Butter and herbs for the most part, so it should suit you just fine."
"Sound perfect" Smiling gently as she held a fry between finger and thumb. "So... what brings you here then? Far away and such..." Jaisa asks carefully, looking at you, but not quite into your eyes still.
Jensen shrugged as she went back into the kitchen. "To be honest? Nothing in particular. I was a Marine for years, so the area doesn't really bother me, and I wanted a decent place to start up a bar like this, so I got in on the business." She set to work putting the wrap together with a good, grain tortilla. "It just kinda happened, when it comes down to it."
Jaisa fiercely started dipping her fries into the herbs and butter, humming with delight as the two did seem to work very well together "Perfect..." she whispered, smiling at her plate, happy that she did order a big one! Slowly she slipped off of her seat, doing off her cold proof coat and revealing the underlying, pitch black turtleneck top. Her legs still wrapped in slightly ungraceful synthetic thermo pants, adjusted to fit her tail comfy. Quietly she walked on her snowboots towards the kitchen door, exceedingly curious to what was going on. Peeking in as she spoke "... I couldn't cook for the life of me... But I love food..." she commented almost randomly.
Jensen was actually just finishing up on the wrap, and had the grill and most of the kitchen turned off again, save the stuff she needed for more sweet potato fries. "It's easier than you might think, really. I just got into bartending a few years back and learned the rest as I went." She winked at the Helashio looking in on her. "I'm actually not even the chef here, just the brewmaster and bartender, but I don't usually call in my chef and waitress until the evenings. Not much point, when I'm usually empty."
A strong blush flushed over Jaisa's cheeks as she was met by the wink, with effort... almost as if she had to pry her lips loose, she smiled back meekly. "I... everything burns if I try... too distracted, I know how to cook, I just drift off with my mind..." she explains quietly. Shyly she wriggled the tip of her boot around on the floor, her hands folded together and her tail curled in-between her legs.
Jen shrugged, and handed the Helashio woman her wrap, turning the last bit of stuff off and sliding the knife she'd used on the veggies back into the knife block. "Well, it's all about practice. I've hit the point where I barely notice what I'm doing, so long as it's not something new. Cooking for a bar or restaurant is just a lot of repetition, not anything hard."
Jaisa took the wrap with both hands, appreciating it's warmth, silently looking about the small kitchen for a while as she started nibbling on the wrap itself first. Her eyes big, as were her pupils, which was common among Helashios and their slightly animalistic traits. "... thanks..." is all that came out of her, accompanied with a slight smile.
Jensen nodded. "Well, get to eating then! Don't just stand around here looking at me. Make me all self conscious and stuff." She chuckled a bit. "Though I suspect you'll distract the Marines plenty when they show up. Pretty hair like that will definitely get their attention."
Jaisa's eyes widened, her pupils shrinked in fear "... Oh... I probably should go soon then... " She said shyly, looking down over her wrap... Then quickly turned around and made her way back to her seat. Looking a little panicked as she stuffed her bag with all the utensils she had taken out earlier, sipped the tea to test if it was drinkable, then gulped the whole down and got out a hand of cash from her wallet "How much was it?" she asked carefully.
"Well, don't run out on me all at once. It was a compliment, sweetie. I'd love to have hair like yours." Jensen shook her head. "Anyway, you've got a while yet before they'll start trickling in. Worst you'll have to deal with soon is out lazy mayor, maybe one or two of the other shopkeepers from town."
Jaisa's breathing calmed a little, in the rush and panic she started panting. "Oh... oh ok... " she said... just standing there for moments, the money still in her hand... staring forward undecisively... "I... need to find a hotel actually... So I mustn't stay too long" she said, seeming to look for an excuse to get out anyway.
Jen shrugged. "Well, if you'll be in town for a while I'll just run a tab on you. It's not like there's too much worry of someone disappearing. As to the hotel... I can't name anywhere in particular. I know that snake Algol rents rooms, but I'm guessing that's longer term than you're thinking at the moment."
"Uhm..." she hummed out quietly, her eyes flicking over her posessions, the food and you. "I didn't really plan this out too well it seems" she said with a slight sigh, sitting back down on the barstool, putting the money back in her purse, which in turn she put back in her bag. She rested her elbows on the bar's edge, staring at the plate for a moment, then looking back at Jen... a soft smile came to her face. "Well, I'll just see what happens and what comes at me" she said softly but sounding slightly more secure, before picking up the wrap she had layed onto the plate and taking a firm chew out of it.
Jensen nodded. "You don't seem like a bad girl, so I'm sure you can figure something out. If it really comes down to it, I usually have a free room that you could use for a night or two, since my sister isn't around much." She shrugged and picked up the unmarked bottle she'd been drinking from earlier. "It's all up to you."
Jaisa breathed once deeply, then continued chewing on her wrap till she was about half way done. "I'd have to think about it... and I'll just pay you for the food directly. I just wander about the galaxy. All I have is my art utensils, my backpack, a traveling bag with clothes and such which I stored in one of the deposits and then a list with places of interest... and a lot of electronic money." She said, pausing to pour herself another cup with the tea, sipping immediately as it was drinkable "So I haven't the faintest idea when I'll be leaving again. If this place treats me right, not soon. If not, or if I can catch some transport to another planet I want to go, then I'll be gone." she added calmly, looking over at you a little shyly.
Jensen cocked an eyebrow at that, but took a quick drink from the bottle. "Well, that's not the kind of lifestyle I'd want anymore, but whatever suits you. Don't you have any long term goals though? Something you want out of life?" She gestured at the bar around them, smiling. "This was always my thing. I've always wanted to actually have a bar. The brewing everything myself just kinda happened on the side and stuck."
"I..." Jaisa said... hesitated, then waited and drank some more tea. "I don't" she said simply. "I've only lived, really lived, for about one year or so. There's so much to life already that I just take up every little thing that I dare to take up. Leading me to far off places like this, just to see the landscapes. Hopefully reaching Yamatai safely to enjoy their culture some and see their kind of people." She explained to Jen, taking another sip. "I guess my goal is to live?" She added, looking up at Jen with a rather neutral, but bit unsure look in her eyes.
Jen laughed out loud. "Well, I hate to break it to a pretty lady like yourself, but you've gone and overshot Yamatai by a long way. You almost have to have passed through Yamatai to get here, in fact. We're on the opposite side of their empire from Lor." She took another sip and settled down on a seat she had tucked under the bar. "I can understand that goal though. Seems to me like not enough people get a chance to live their lives, or try if they do, these days. Too focused on the war and fighting to pay any attention to living."
Jaisa chuckled "There wasn't a safe way to get to Yamatai yet. You've seen me with the gun and you alone just now. Traveling with one guy alone, in his ship while happily dangling his gun from his belt? That's... that's not what I call safe, so instead I passed by here and there. Honestly, I'm happy I went this way, because..." she said softly, becoming a bit shy and falling silent to the end "Well, you seem pleasant." she said quietly.
Jen's bark of a laugh rang out again. "Sweetie, I'm a bartender. People person or not, if I'm not pleasant, I don't make money, especially in a town this small. It's my job to be pleasant to every single individual who comes through that door. Not to say you're not good company, though. You're definitely more interesting then all of the government boys who might as well be clones, for all the diversity they show, at the very least."
Jaisa winced at the last comment "... is being a clone bad?" she asked nervously, fiddling with her wrap as she looked away shyly.
Jen shrugged. "Some people say it is. I was just using the phrase. A lot of military guys don't have a family or anything, they were just cloned and thrown into the military, so there's not much difference. Clones of individuals don't really bother me though."
Jaisa slumped onto the bar a bit... laying her arms flat, staring at her plate for a moment "I'm a clone... I don't have any memories though. Nor family, or anything." she said monotonously, slowly looking up at you "What about me then? How am I an individual, I hardly consist of anything."
"Well the first point would be that you don't look exactly like any of twenty people I saw in the NSMC." Jensen cocked her head. "And if you didn't have a family, I'm guessing you wouldn't be trying to get away from something. Having a bad family and not having a family at all aren't the same thing."
Jaisa slumped further, resting her chin on her arms, looking at you from the corners of her eyes "... Memories... I'm trying to get away from memories and places" she said sounding slightly dull. "I'd like a family..." She mumbled, contemplating the possibility.
"Making a family for yourself is a good goal, at some point. You're going to have to get over the fear of guns and lone people if you try, though. Galaxies at war aren't the best places for gun-shy loners." Jensen reached over the bar and tousled the Helashio's beautiful hair a bit.
Jaisa tensed every muscle, clenged her jaws together and squeezed her eyes closed in fear as the hand came close "Erk... " was the only sound that came from her bared teeth... relaxing as she notice the hand meant no harm. She opened her eyes again... blushing as she looked back up.
"See? Just relax a bit. Most people out there aren't going to be trying to kill you. Get in your pants, maybe, with how you look, but not hurt you. I wouldn't say you should trust everyone, but having a little faith in someone never hurts." Jensen smiled in a rather motherly fashion, resting her hand on Jaisa's. "Especially if you want to meet people."
Jaisa hid her mouth behind her hand, her eyes resting on Jen's hand, an uneasy frown was bestowed upon her face "... I... I know... It's... hard... it's just really hard... " she said with a quiet, shaky voice as she blinked away a tear that was about to well up.
Jen patted her shoulder lightly before leaning back again. "Hey now, no crying in my bar. I get enough beer spilled everywhere, I don't need tears too. I know it's hard, but you just have to keep trying. You're a big girl, you got this far, didn't you?"
"Barely" she muttered, sounding almost a little grumpy. She sighed and fingered at the cup for a little before she sat up a bit straighter "... does my hair really make me look pretty?" she asked shyly "I mean... with... y'know..."
"Sweetie, I already told you. I would love to have hair as pretty as yours. The coloring is just perfect, assuming you dress right. And with a body like yours, boys are already paying attention." Jensen chuckled at the thought that Jaisa was actually doubting her appearance. "If anything, your problem will be being too pretty for your own good, in these parts."
Jaisa smiled gently "Thanks... thanks for not mentioning the scars..." she says quietly, sighing a little before sitting up straight, looking at her nearly empty plate of fries and half eaten wrap "I'm afraid I'm not really hungry anymore... could I take it with me though?"
"Of course you can! I'm not gonna steal food from you or anything. Let me go dig out a box or something for you, I'm sure we have a few left somewhere." Jen turned to go back into the kitchen one last time, and paused, her left hand on the door frame. "And for the record? We all have our scars. Nothing special. Mine's just a bit more obvious."
Jaisa blinked a few times "It's the memory... that clings to it, that's... more important I think" she said carefully. Slipping off of her seat to gather her things once again. Seeming to hesitate about something, but leaving it for now.
Jensen's voice floated back out of the kitchen slowly. "Memory is just that, memory. It's the here and now, and what's happening now is what really counts, not the past. If we get hung up on the past, you do silly things like never getting your arm fixed right."
Jaisa giggled a little, grasping her coat with her tail swinging her backpack over her shoulder and walking up to the kitchen door "Uhm... Jen? I know it's your job to be nice and all. But... the offer... a place to stay the night? Were you serious?" she asks shyly, her head canted forward a bit but her eyes peering at you from under her bang.
Jen looked up from where she was digging in one of the lower drawers. "Sure? I mean, it was mostly joking, but I wasn't kidding when I said my sister's never around. I figured you probably weren't interested in staying with someone you don't know, though."
Jaisa shrugged lightly "I'll be staying either at some place owned by some person I don't know at all... or at someone who I've become a little more familiar with... My choice was easy" she told Jen with a smile.
Jen winked up at Jaisa as she finally dug up a smallish box for the Helashio woman. "Well here, let me make it harder for you again then. I'm stuck here until later on tonight at the soonest, so you either have to stick around, or find something to do until it starts getting dark. Up to you."
Jaisa frowned a little at that... wriggling her lips and biting at them "... yeah... I didn't really think of that... " she muttered quietly, her tail drooping a little, letting the coat trail over the floor. "... Well, I guess I'll just have to find something to do then. Like not freak out..." she said with a little annoyance with herself.
"Oh, c'mon now, no freaking out either. I get enough annoyed girlfriend filling my quota for that already, too. If you really need something to do, I can make a few suggestions, though the first would be to get a gun." Jensen's mouth quirked a bit as she offered that last bit of advice.
Jaisa fell completely silent for a few moments... "I... already have one..." she uttered out in a cold voice as her eyes had gone dull and distant "I always have it with me, just not on me... I don't want others to think..." she continued in the same cold voice as she looked down to the ground besides her from the corner of her eyes. "That I'm dangerous..."
Jen gripped Jaisa's shoulder tightly (though with her left hand), and shook her a little bit to draw her eyes back up. "Sweetie, if you don't carry it, you might as well not have it. Nobody thinks less of a woman on her own for carrying a gun. You've got the right to protect yourself, regardless of whether someone else says so." She shook her a bit again. "If you're really as worried about someone taking advantage of you or attacking you as you seem, you should be ready to defend yourself."
Jaisa snarled at the sudden grip and within a moment she had her backpack hanging on her arm as if it had slid off, followed by a flick she had drawn the small handgun from her backpack, holding it out of sight and aimed at the ground. Her teeth clenched together "Don't... handle me like that..." she said coldly before pulling her shoulder out of Jen's grip "I reconsidered..." she grunted "You're right, I should head out and find some other place to stay" she continued in the same voice. The hand holding the gun steady as could be, but her free hand shaking and jittery. "I'm too messed up to deal with people anyway-" She said stifly, walking back to her map as she slipped on the coat with the help of her tail.
Jen chased after Jaisa quickly, taking care not to touch her again though. "Look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you like that. It's just obvious that you've had stuff go wrong in the past, if you're this touchy about contact, and I'd rather not see it happen again because you thought someone like me would think less of you for carrying." She held out the box, standing between Jaisa and the door, though she did her best not to loom over the much shorter Helashio woman. "I understand if you still change your mind, but at least take the food. It may not be much, but it'll help. And avoid Algol, he's bad news."
Jaisa stopped buttoning close her coat... she stood there looking at Jen, her jaws still clenched. "Look... Stuff went more then WRONG in my past. I may not have lost an arm, but then I didn't go into the army voluntarily. I fear guns because my first memories of my life included one being pointed at my face accompanied by the words 'You're going to die soon, my dear sweet wife' and I had NO idea who this man was. Algol is not the bad news, you're not bad news. I'm the bad news, because if I don't carry a gun with me I don't feel safe, but if I do I might blow someone's GUTS out because I'm damaged beyond all repairs" She bouldered with a voice one would never expect to come from a small woman like her, tears were readily streaming over her cheeks, washing out the make up around her eyes "I don't fucking know what to do, I don't even know why I'm alive, I was made, To Be KILLED." She shouted angrily whilst crying "... and... sniff I don't even know why I'm telling this to a stranger... I should've... huff... ran away"
Jensen, acting much more calmly than probably would've been expected under the circumstances, stepped out of the way, and set the box down before turning back to Jaisa, and holding out her arms to the crying woman. "I can't do anything but be here for you while you're here, sweetie. I'm not worried about your past, or you hurting me, or that you're just going to up and leave. I'm worried that you're going to let all of that decide things for you, rather than thinking about it rationally, and taking help when it's offered. I wouldn't offer if I didn't think I could handle myself. If you want me to help, I'm here, if you don't, then you're free to walk away. That's all there is to it."
Jaisa started to cry full out, uncharming sniffing included "But HOW, it was only two years ago. I've been blessed with not remembering most of it, I just... I can't...*huff* it haunts me Jen, it freaking haunts me. I can't *sniff* think rationally if I think everyone in the room is out to... to do something *huff* to me. I panic, I freak out, run away and hide if things go well. After that it's the sole thing that will stir through my mind for days which I'll spend avoiding any contact" she explains, the gun, which was still on safety, was dangling from her fingers as she stepped one foot closer carefully "If things go less well I go violent... it wouldn't be the first time I'd shoot someone and hit. *sniff* Jen... They set me off of therapy because they couldn't do any more for me then just wait till I stopped having traumatic attacks, I wouldn't have more of a life in a mental ward then I would out on the street. They didn't figure I could be a danger... *sniff* ... Jen... " she ends mumbling, finally giving in to the vocal weeping as she falls into your arms, the gun slipping out of her hands and falling onto the floor with a soft thud. Crying loudly with her face borrowed into Jen's shoulder.
Jen just cushioned the shorter woman, her intact hand softly stroking Jaisa's hair as she let the woman cry. There wasn't much she could do other than be there for the woman she barely knew, under the circumstances. Maybe if she knew the Helashio better, she could do more, but as it was, Jen barely knew anything other than that the woman had panic attacks around human contact and guns for some reason.
Jaisa kept on crying... it took minutes for her to calm down even the slightest, holding tight onto Jen, eventually even wrapping her tail around both of them. Slowly she started to calm down further, focusing more and more on her breath. "... I'm... I'm sorry Jen... " She whispers with her head still burried against Jen. "... I want to stay... but I can't be around people... Not yet."
Jen sighed, but kept stroking the other woman's hair as she started to calm down. "I understand. If you can't do it, you can't do it. If you want, I can call someone, and probably get you a room at least for the night. It won't be fancy, but you'll be on your own at least. Is that okay with you? You can take the food, and head back there, and at least take a full night to rest up or sleep."
Jaisa nodded against Jen "... yeah... I'll... I'll do that... " she mumbled quietly. Carefully breaking away from Jen, her smile honest and her eyes like a panda... black and smudged. "Sorry for causing so much trouble already... Thanks for taking it so well. Most don't... "
Jensen reigned in the urge to reach out and wipe at the smudging a bit, just on the principle that it wouldn't be appreciated, even if it was helpful. "Of course. And I'll be here if you change your mind. Just give me a second to get you a room, and I'll tell you where to go."
Jaisa smiled still and thanked the woman. She picked up her belongings, wiped off most ofthe make up with a tissue and readied herself to leave for the room Jen arranged for her. Leaving with a honest and deeply appreciative, "Thanks," despite all that happened.
Jaisa was wandering through the streets of Francia City. Under her arm she carried a large rectangular map in which she stored sheets of paper with paintings and drawings on them, over her shoulder hung a small backpack. The rest of her body was wrapped in warm, faux-fur lined clothing. Fed up with being in the cold for the day and ready for a warming cup tea she had followed other people's advice to make her way to a place called 'Jensen's Bar'. Arriving there she stood before the door, hesitating for moments "...There might be a lot people in there..." she said quietly to herself... Then clenching her hand around the map firmly before opening the door with her other hand, stepping into the warmth of the bar.
Jensen looked up as she heard her door opening, slowly taking the bottle down from her lips, an eyebrow cocking. Helashio weren't all that common in Nepleslian space to start with, and this Helashio looked like she'd been through a war or two, and Jen could appreciate that feeling. She was also a new person in town, which wasn't exactly common for a settlement in the middle of nowhere like Francia. "Well now. Been a while since I've seen a new face in here." She pulled her dusty old combat boots off of the bar, and stood up, giving the bar a quick sweep with a rag there, and stepped over towards the new person, holding out a hand. "Nice to meet you. I'm Amelia, but you can just call me Jen."
Jaisa set down the map against her leg, freeing her right hand to meet that of the woman who introduced herself as Amelia 'Jen'. Her own hand cold from the outside, gripping weakly as she shook Jen's hand "Likewise... My name is Jaisa. People directed me here for a warming drink or two." she said with the faintest smile. Her hazel and blue eyes avoiding yours without appearing to do so intentionally, instead seeming to stare at various things in her surroundings.
Jen shook Jaisa's hand firmly, her solid, rough grip meeting the light, weak grip of the Helashio readily. "Well, they steered you to the right place, that's for sure. I'm the only local brewer on the planet, and I've got food too, if you're hungry." She waved a hand at the bar in a general sort of way, and made her way back behind it as she did. "Just find a seat wherever you want, I'll grab you a menu, assuming you'd like one, of course."
Jaisa cringed a little at the firm grip, almost appearing to shrink, but not quite. Glad to have her hand back as Jen turned to show her bar "Mhhh, food would not be the worst idea..." she said in the softest voice. Not quiet, just so gentle that if it were physical, it's feel like silk. Her eyes trailed the room in a calculating manner... shaking her head at the place most distant to the bar... then the tables at the bar itself... clenching her jaw a little, then nodding affirmatively to herself as she picked up the map and followed in Jen's general path, setting a few chairs away from her. Sitting herself down and settled her stuff on the ground against the bar. She took in a long breath... and sighed in a sort of relaxed manner as she adjusted to her new surroundings, bar lady included.
Jen nodded, and pulled one of her leatherbound menus out from underneath the bar, handing it over quickly before dropping an arm on the bar and leaning up against it. "So, have any idea what you'd like to drink? I've got a little bit of almost everything, just name your poison."
Jaisa carefully looked up at the lady, slowly dragging the menu and opening it, after which she turned her eyes to the text inside "Something warm would be nice... tea perhaps" she said in the same soft voice. Tucking away some of the blood red strands of hair behind her pointy ears as she looked over the lunch menu.
Jensen's eyebrow cocked up again at that, but shrugged. It wasn't her place to question why someone was coming to a bar to drink tea, especially in Nepleslian space, so she'd just leave it be. The girl was lucky enough that she had tea at all right now. "I hope you're not expecting anything special here. We're in the ass-end of Nepleslian space, tea isn't exactly a high priority for the import guys."
Jaisa looked up from the menu and smiled faintly "Ah, I don't expect much either. I haven't come to the 'ass-end' of Nepleslian space to drink tea," she told Jen. "An odd planet like this can have beautiful landscapes, the strange architecture is also intriguing. All good inspiration for art," she says sounding almost absent, as if painting pictures in her mind already.
Jen slowly poured a cup of tea, then filled a small teapot and carried both back out of the small kitchen with her. "Sounds like you've at least got a better reason than most people who end up out here. About the only people here are Marines, so I have no idea why anybody would want to come here, really." She set the pair of items down in front of Jaisa on the bar, and nodded at the menu. "See anything you like? I don't have a huge selection, but I can usually manage."
Jaisa nodded slowly. "The Chicken Wrap sound very delicious," she said with a sparkle of life in her voice. "I've never had chicken before... nor bacon, that's from pigs right?" She asked with curiosity, poring down at the menu for a few moments again. "Sweet Potato Fries?" she noted with lingering interest.
Jen leaned back on the bar again, nodding. "Bacon is absolutely awesome, it's one of my favorite kinds of meat, to be sure. Chicken less so, but it's still good if it's your thing. The sweet potato fries, on the other hand... they're definitely not my thing. They sell really well though, so I must be doing something right with them, that's for sure. If you're just looking for a snack, not a meal though, I'd recommend the wrap and the fries together, if you're interested. I can do a small thing of fries for you."
Jaisa's eyes went adrift over the forward leaning lady, talking so richly about food alone. She was pleased with the interaction she had and smiled faintly to herself. "Reading this menu has made me a good deal hungrier, but for now I'll go with your recommendation," she said still ever so softly but with more and more hints of intonation and life. She wrapped her hands around the cup of tea, warming herself with it. Her tail, which was hanging over the back of the bar stool, gave a content swish.
Jensen nodded and stepped back into the kitchen, audibly turning on various devices as she set to work, poking her head back out after just a moment. "Oh, I almost forgot to ask. Would you like that chicken grilled, or fried? I can do either. And, ah.. if you're really getting hungry now, I can make a full thing of fries or a double warp for you. Since I'm firing everything up, it doesn't make a difference to me."
Jaisa wriggled on her seat, her tail swishing some more. "Grilled," she responded swiftly ".. Oh I don't know... a double wrap and a full thing of fries sounds fine. I'm not a big eater but my appetite explores new frontiers." she said somewhat jokingly, but with her calm voice, probably coming off as too serious. Sighing for a moment before slipping her tail into her backpack's handles lifting the whole up to the bar where she took out a few pencils and a lineless notebook. As she sat the bag back down she started sketching bits of her surroundings.
Jensen nodded and ducked back into the kitchen, throwing a couple strips of chicken on her grill as she started up the fries, deciding to go ahead and make a full batch. It wasn't like she wouldn't use them all up today, anyway. "So, while I'm getting all of this going. Just for the sake of my curiosity, what's a Helashio doing out here? We don't see many of you in the Empire to start with, what with the slave trade finally drying up and the war, all that, pleasant landscape or not."
"I needed to get out" Jaisa replied quite immediately "Away from Lor... too much stuff happened there. And there isn't much here, so perhaps not much will happen here either." She added, her voice a bit empty itself. She stared at the cup of tea, the tiny ripples that echoed back and forth as she tapped the cup with a nail. "I am in need of a place to figure stuff out, far away from what clouds my mind."
A barking laugh echoed back out of the kitchen, clearly translating Jen's amusement to the Helashio. "Well, if by 'not much here' you mean people, you're completely right. The wildlife isn't all that friendly though, so I don't recommend trying to make friends." There was a slight rattle and a hand popped back around the corner, holding the overly large Styrling Mancannon. "There's a reason I carry this thing whenever I'm out."
Jaisa looked and shrieked as she saw the weapon, shooting back and tumbling down off of her chair, scrambling to hide against the bar inbetween her backpack and drawing map "Don't! DON'T!" she suddenly jelled, shivering as she held her legs close to her with her arms and tail "d-don't..." she then muttered shakily.
The hand disappeared shortly followed by Jensen reappearing, gun still in hand, though hidden by the bar now. "What in hell is up with that reaction, girl? I thought someone had actually managed to sneak into my bar and rape you or something!"
"The gun... just, don't... " she stammers incoherently, her voice clearly shaken and in panic. Looking up maybe to see if Jen was there "Please... just put it away" she begged.
Jensen shrugged and nodded, heading back into the kitchen where that rattling noise could be heard again, with the tall woman reappearing shortly after to make her way around the bar and help Jaisa up. "I'm not gonna ask, but you need to get used to guns if you're going to be living in Nepleslian space, sweety. Everyone carries, especially on little frontier worlds like this."
Jaisa slowly clambered up, peering over the edge with scared, shifty eyes "Not if you're in the room with one other person... no way anyone would stop... you..." she says, falling silent as she realises this wasn't entirely nice "... it's not your fault... " she mumbles, staring at the bar surface as she tried sitting back down on the chair... her tail still big and poofy from being scared. She let her hand slip over the leatherlike collar around her neck... rubbing it a little "I just have a bad experience with guns..." she added quietly.
Jensen nodded and made her way back around the bar into the kitchen again. "Like I said, I'm not going to ask. None of my business, unless you want to make it mine. But understand that this is a bar for Marines, mostly, so almost everyone carries. I just lock all of the guns away back here while they're in here." There was a pause as Jensen could be heard to be fixing something in the back room before she stepped back out with the plate of sweet potato fries and put it in front of Jaisa. "If you're touchy around guns, it's probably going to be hell on your nerves once they start getting off duty and heading this way."
Jaisa sighed, staring at the plate "...more people... it's fine... peer pressure and support..." she explained with a slightly choked voice before taking a sip from the cup. Smiling up at Jensen, the scar over her lip standing out even more due to it "thanks..." she said to the woman "I'll... I'll be fine"
Jensen nodded and started to turn away before hesitating. "I'm... sorry, by the way. Didn't mean to scare you or anything. Just came up in conversation. I'm not exactly a people person." That said, she ducked back into the kitchen, where rustling could be heard, as well as chopping and other such normal kitchen noises.
Jaisa just smiled faintly after Jensen, shoving her drawing block aside and pulling the plate of fries closer. Inhaling their earthy, sweet scent with curiousity. Carefully picking one up to see if they were at an edible temperature. Nodding to herself as she took a bite off of it, slowly chewing and savouring the flavor with an intense smile.
Jensen's head poked back out around the corner, though she carefully kept the knife in her hand back out of sight. "So? How are they?"
"Mhh divine~" Jaisa said with a mouthful, swallowing and smirking up, looking a bit bubblier "Do you have any sauces I could try?" she added delightedly, her smile a lot more real then it was before.
Jen cocked an eyebrow and looked back into the kitchen. "Ah... several, yeah. Do you have anything in mind? Most people don't even ask for anything with them, so I have no idea what even goes well on them."
Jaisa shrugged "They're sweet... something very herby would perhaps work?" she suggested, meanwhile nibbling on another one. Curiously leaning towards the kitchen door to look in.
Jen pursed her lips for a moment, nodded, and disappeared for a few moments before reappearing with a small bowl. "I use this on the chicken, actually, when I'm grilling. Butter and herbs for the most part, so it should suit you just fine."
"Sound perfect" Smiling gently as she held a fry between finger and thumb. "So... what brings you here then? Far away and such..." Jaisa asks carefully, looking at you, but not quite into your eyes still.
Jensen shrugged as she went back into the kitchen. "To be honest? Nothing in particular. I was a Marine for years, so the area doesn't really bother me, and I wanted a decent place to start up a bar like this, so I got in on the business." She set to work putting the wrap together with a good, grain tortilla. "It just kinda happened, when it comes down to it."
Jaisa fiercely started dipping her fries into the herbs and butter, humming with delight as the two did seem to work very well together "Perfect..." she whispered, smiling at her plate, happy that she did order a big one! Slowly she slipped off of her seat, doing off her cold proof coat and revealing the underlying, pitch black turtleneck top. Her legs still wrapped in slightly ungraceful synthetic thermo pants, adjusted to fit her tail comfy. Quietly she walked on her snowboots towards the kitchen door, exceedingly curious to what was going on. Peeking in as she spoke "... I couldn't cook for the life of me... But I love food..." she commented almost randomly.
Jensen was actually just finishing up on the wrap, and had the grill and most of the kitchen turned off again, save the stuff she needed for more sweet potato fries. "It's easier than you might think, really. I just got into bartending a few years back and learned the rest as I went." She winked at the Helashio looking in on her. "I'm actually not even the chef here, just the brewmaster and bartender, but I don't usually call in my chef and waitress until the evenings. Not much point, when I'm usually empty."
A strong blush flushed over Jaisa's cheeks as she was met by the wink, with effort... almost as if she had to pry her lips loose, she smiled back meekly. "I... everything burns if I try... too distracted, I know how to cook, I just drift off with my mind..." she explains quietly. Shyly she wriggled the tip of her boot around on the floor, her hands folded together and her tail curled in-between her legs.
Jen shrugged, and handed the Helashio woman her wrap, turning the last bit of stuff off and sliding the knife she'd used on the veggies back into the knife block. "Well, it's all about practice. I've hit the point where I barely notice what I'm doing, so long as it's not something new. Cooking for a bar or restaurant is just a lot of repetition, not anything hard."
Jaisa took the wrap with both hands, appreciating it's warmth, silently looking about the small kitchen for a while as she started nibbling on the wrap itself first. Her eyes big, as were her pupils, which was common among Helashios and their slightly animalistic traits. "... thanks..." is all that came out of her, accompanied with a slight smile.
Jensen nodded. "Well, get to eating then! Don't just stand around here looking at me. Make me all self conscious and stuff." She chuckled a bit. "Though I suspect you'll distract the Marines plenty when they show up. Pretty hair like that will definitely get their attention."
Jaisa's eyes widened, her pupils shrinked in fear "... Oh... I probably should go soon then... " She said shyly, looking down over her wrap... Then quickly turned around and made her way back to her seat. Looking a little panicked as she stuffed her bag with all the utensils she had taken out earlier, sipped the tea to test if it was drinkable, then gulped the whole down and got out a hand of cash from her wallet "How much was it?" she asked carefully.
"Well, don't run out on me all at once. It was a compliment, sweetie. I'd love to have hair like yours." Jensen shook her head. "Anyway, you've got a while yet before they'll start trickling in. Worst you'll have to deal with soon is out lazy mayor, maybe one or two of the other shopkeepers from town."
Jaisa's breathing calmed a little, in the rush and panic she started panting. "Oh... oh ok... " she said... just standing there for moments, the money still in her hand... staring forward undecisively... "I... need to find a hotel actually... So I mustn't stay too long" she said, seeming to look for an excuse to get out anyway.
Jen shrugged. "Well, if you'll be in town for a while I'll just run a tab on you. It's not like there's too much worry of someone disappearing. As to the hotel... I can't name anywhere in particular. I know that snake Algol rents rooms, but I'm guessing that's longer term than you're thinking at the moment."
"Uhm..." she hummed out quietly, her eyes flicking over her posessions, the food and you. "I didn't really plan this out too well it seems" she said with a slight sigh, sitting back down on the barstool, putting the money back in her purse, which in turn she put back in her bag. She rested her elbows on the bar's edge, staring at the plate for a moment, then looking back at Jen... a soft smile came to her face. "Well, I'll just see what happens and what comes at me" she said softly but sounding slightly more secure, before picking up the wrap she had layed onto the plate and taking a firm chew out of it.
Jensen nodded. "You don't seem like a bad girl, so I'm sure you can figure something out. If it really comes down to it, I usually have a free room that you could use for a night or two, since my sister isn't around much." She shrugged and picked up the unmarked bottle she'd been drinking from earlier. "It's all up to you."
Jaisa breathed once deeply, then continued chewing on her wrap till she was about half way done. "I'd have to think about it... and I'll just pay you for the food directly. I just wander about the galaxy. All I have is my art utensils, my backpack, a traveling bag with clothes and such which I stored in one of the deposits and then a list with places of interest... and a lot of electronic money." She said, pausing to pour herself another cup with the tea, sipping immediately as it was drinkable "So I haven't the faintest idea when I'll be leaving again. If this place treats me right, not soon. If not, or if I can catch some transport to another planet I want to go, then I'll be gone." she added calmly, looking over at you a little shyly.
Jensen cocked an eyebrow at that, but took a quick drink from the bottle. "Well, that's not the kind of lifestyle I'd want anymore, but whatever suits you. Don't you have any long term goals though? Something you want out of life?" She gestured at the bar around them, smiling. "This was always my thing. I've always wanted to actually have a bar. The brewing everything myself just kinda happened on the side and stuck."
"I..." Jaisa said... hesitated, then waited and drank some more tea. "I don't" she said simply. "I've only lived, really lived, for about one year or so. There's so much to life already that I just take up every little thing that I dare to take up. Leading me to far off places like this, just to see the landscapes. Hopefully reaching Yamatai safely to enjoy their culture some and see their kind of people." She explained to Jen, taking another sip. "I guess my goal is to live?" She added, looking up at Jen with a rather neutral, but bit unsure look in her eyes.
Jen laughed out loud. "Well, I hate to break it to a pretty lady like yourself, but you've gone and overshot Yamatai by a long way. You almost have to have passed through Yamatai to get here, in fact. We're on the opposite side of their empire from Lor." She took another sip and settled down on a seat she had tucked under the bar. "I can understand that goal though. Seems to me like not enough people get a chance to live their lives, or try if they do, these days. Too focused on the war and fighting to pay any attention to living."
Jaisa chuckled "There wasn't a safe way to get to Yamatai yet. You've seen me with the gun and you alone just now. Traveling with one guy alone, in his ship while happily dangling his gun from his belt? That's... that's not what I call safe, so instead I passed by here and there. Honestly, I'm happy I went this way, because..." she said softly, becoming a bit shy and falling silent to the end "Well, you seem pleasant." she said quietly.
Jen's bark of a laugh rang out again. "Sweetie, I'm a bartender. People person or not, if I'm not pleasant, I don't make money, especially in a town this small. It's my job to be pleasant to every single individual who comes through that door. Not to say you're not good company, though. You're definitely more interesting then all of the government boys who might as well be clones, for all the diversity they show, at the very least."
Jaisa winced at the last comment "... is being a clone bad?" she asked nervously, fiddling with her wrap as she looked away shyly.
Jen shrugged. "Some people say it is. I was just using the phrase. A lot of military guys don't have a family or anything, they were just cloned and thrown into the military, so there's not much difference. Clones of individuals don't really bother me though."
Jaisa slumped onto the bar a bit... laying her arms flat, staring at her plate for a moment "I'm a clone... I don't have any memories though. Nor family, or anything." she said monotonously, slowly looking up at you "What about me then? How am I an individual, I hardly consist of anything."
"Well the first point would be that you don't look exactly like any of twenty people I saw in the NSMC." Jensen cocked her head. "And if you didn't have a family, I'm guessing you wouldn't be trying to get away from something. Having a bad family and not having a family at all aren't the same thing."
Jaisa slumped further, resting her chin on her arms, looking at you from the corners of her eyes "... Memories... I'm trying to get away from memories and places" she said sounding slightly dull. "I'd like a family..." She mumbled, contemplating the possibility.
"Making a family for yourself is a good goal, at some point. You're going to have to get over the fear of guns and lone people if you try, though. Galaxies at war aren't the best places for gun-shy loners." Jensen reached over the bar and tousled the Helashio's beautiful hair a bit.
Jaisa tensed every muscle, clenged her jaws together and squeezed her eyes closed in fear as the hand came close "Erk... " was the only sound that came from her bared teeth... relaxing as she notice the hand meant no harm. She opened her eyes again... blushing as she looked back up.
"See? Just relax a bit. Most people out there aren't going to be trying to kill you. Get in your pants, maybe, with how you look, but not hurt you. I wouldn't say you should trust everyone, but having a little faith in someone never hurts." Jensen smiled in a rather motherly fashion, resting her hand on Jaisa's. "Especially if you want to meet people."
Jaisa hid her mouth behind her hand, her eyes resting on Jen's hand, an uneasy frown was bestowed upon her face "... I... I know... It's... hard... it's just really hard... " she said with a quiet, shaky voice as she blinked away a tear that was about to well up.
Jen patted her shoulder lightly before leaning back again. "Hey now, no crying in my bar. I get enough beer spilled everywhere, I don't need tears too. I know it's hard, but you just have to keep trying. You're a big girl, you got this far, didn't you?"
"Barely" she muttered, sounding almost a little grumpy. She sighed and fingered at the cup for a little before she sat up a bit straighter "... does my hair really make me look pretty?" she asked shyly "I mean... with... y'know..."
"Sweetie, I already told you. I would love to have hair as pretty as yours. The coloring is just perfect, assuming you dress right. And with a body like yours, boys are already paying attention." Jensen chuckled at the thought that Jaisa was actually doubting her appearance. "If anything, your problem will be being too pretty for your own good, in these parts."
Jaisa smiled gently "Thanks... thanks for not mentioning the scars..." she says quietly, sighing a little before sitting up straight, looking at her nearly empty plate of fries and half eaten wrap "I'm afraid I'm not really hungry anymore... could I take it with me though?"
"Of course you can! I'm not gonna steal food from you or anything. Let me go dig out a box or something for you, I'm sure we have a few left somewhere." Jen turned to go back into the kitchen one last time, and paused, her left hand on the door frame. "And for the record? We all have our scars. Nothing special. Mine's just a bit more obvious."
Jaisa blinked a few times "It's the memory... that clings to it, that's... more important I think" she said carefully. Slipping off of her seat to gather her things once again. Seeming to hesitate about something, but leaving it for now.
Jensen's voice floated back out of the kitchen slowly. "Memory is just that, memory. It's the here and now, and what's happening now is what really counts, not the past. If we get hung up on the past, you do silly things like never getting your arm fixed right."
Jaisa giggled a little, grasping her coat with her tail swinging her backpack over her shoulder and walking up to the kitchen door "Uhm... Jen? I know it's your job to be nice and all. But... the offer... a place to stay the night? Were you serious?" she asks shyly, her head canted forward a bit but her eyes peering at you from under her bang.
Jen looked up from where she was digging in one of the lower drawers. "Sure? I mean, it was mostly joking, but I wasn't kidding when I said my sister's never around. I figured you probably weren't interested in staying with someone you don't know, though."
Jaisa shrugged lightly "I'll be staying either at some place owned by some person I don't know at all... or at someone who I've become a little more familiar with... My choice was easy" she told Jen with a smile.
Jen winked up at Jaisa as she finally dug up a smallish box for the Helashio woman. "Well here, let me make it harder for you again then. I'm stuck here until later on tonight at the soonest, so you either have to stick around, or find something to do until it starts getting dark. Up to you."
Jaisa frowned a little at that... wriggling her lips and biting at them "... yeah... I didn't really think of that... " she muttered quietly, her tail drooping a little, letting the coat trail over the floor. "... Well, I guess I'll just have to find something to do then. Like not freak out..." she said with a little annoyance with herself.
"Oh, c'mon now, no freaking out either. I get enough annoyed girlfriend filling my quota for that already, too. If you really need something to do, I can make a few suggestions, though the first would be to get a gun." Jensen's mouth quirked a bit as she offered that last bit of advice.
Jaisa fell completely silent for a few moments... "I... already have one..." she uttered out in a cold voice as her eyes had gone dull and distant "I always have it with me, just not on me... I don't want others to think..." she continued in the same cold voice as she looked down to the ground besides her from the corner of her eyes. "That I'm dangerous..."
Jen gripped Jaisa's shoulder tightly (though with her left hand), and shook her a little bit to draw her eyes back up. "Sweetie, if you don't carry it, you might as well not have it. Nobody thinks less of a woman on her own for carrying a gun. You've got the right to protect yourself, regardless of whether someone else says so." She shook her a bit again. "If you're really as worried about someone taking advantage of you or attacking you as you seem, you should be ready to defend yourself."
Jaisa snarled at the sudden grip and within a moment she had her backpack hanging on her arm as if it had slid off, followed by a flick she had drawn the small handgun from her backpack, holding it out of sight and aimed at the ground. Her teeth clenched together "Don't... handle me like that..." she said coldly before pulling her shoulder out of Jen's grip "I reconsidered..." she grunted "You're right, I should head out and find some other place to stay" she continued in the same voice. The hand holding the gun steady as could be, but her free hand shaking and jittery. "I'm too messed up to deal with people anyway-" She said stifly, walking back to her map as she slipped on the coat with the help of her tail.
Jen chased after Jaisa quickly, taking care not to touch her again though. "Look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you like that. It's just obvious that you've had stuff go wrong in the past, if you're this touchy about contact, and I'd rather not see it happen again because you thought someone like me would think less of you for carrying." She held out the box, standing between Jaisa and the door, though she did her best not to loom over the much shorter Helashio woman. "I understand if you still change your mind, but at least take the food. It may not be much, but it'll help. And avoid Algol, he's bad news."
Jaisa stopped buttoning close her coat... she stood there looking at Jen, her jaws still clenched. "Look... Stuff went more then WRONG in my past. I may not have lost an arm, but then I didn't go into the army voluntarily. I fear guns because my first memories of my life included one being pointed at my face accompanied by the words 'You're going to die soon, my dear sweet wife' and I had NO idea who this man was. Algol is not the bad news, you're not bad news. I'm the bad news, because if I don't carry a gun with me I don't feel safe, but if I do I might blow someone's GUTS out because I'm damaged beyond all repairs" She bouldered with a voice one would never expect to come from a small woman like her, tears were readily streaming over her cheeks, washing out the make up around her eyes "I don't fucking know what to do, I don't even know why I'm alive, I was made, To Be KILLED." She shouted angrily whilst crying "... and... sniff I don't even know why I'm telling this to a stranger... I should've... huff... ran away"
Jensen, acting much more calmly than probably would've been expected under the circumstances, stepped out of the way, and set the box down before turning back to Jaisa, and holding out her arms to the crying woman. "I can't do anything but be here for you while you're here, sweetie. I'm not worried about your past, or you hurting me, or that you're just going to up and leave. I'm worried that you're going to let all of that decide things for you, rather than thinking about it rationally, and taking help when it's offered. I wouldn't offer if I didn't think I could handle myself. If you want me to help, I'm here, if you don't, then you're free to walk away. That's all there is to it."
Jaisa started to cry full out, uncharming sniffing included "But HOW, it was only two years ago. I've been blessed with not remembering most of it, I just... I can't...*huff* it haunts me Jen, it freaking haunts me. I can't *sniff* think rationally if I think everyone in the room is out to... to do something *huff* to me. I panic, I freak out, run away and hide if things go well. After that it's the sole thing that will stir through my mind for days which I'll spend avoiding any contact" she explains, the gun, which was still on safety, was dangling from her fingers as she stepped one foot closer carefully "If things go less well I go violent... it wouldn't be the first time I'd shoot someone and hit. *sniff* Jen... They set me off of therapy because they couldn't do any more for me then just wait till I stopped having traumatic attacks, I wouldn't have more of a life in a mental ward then I would out on the street. They didn't figure I could be a danger... *sniff* ... Jen... " she ends mumbling, finally giving in to the vocal weeping as she falls into your arms, the gun slipping out of her hands and falling onto the floor with a soft thud. Crying loudly with her face borrowed into Jen's shoulder.
Jen just cushioned the shorter woman, her intact hand softly stroking Jaisa's hair as she let the woman cry. There wasn't much she could do other than be there for the woman she barely knew, under the circumstances. Maybe if she knew the Helashio better, she could do more, but as it was, Jen barely knew anything other than that the woman had panic attacks around human contact and guns for some reason.
Jaisa kept on crying... it took minutes for her to calm down even the slightest, holding tight onto Jen, eventually even wrapping her tail around both of them. Slowly she started to calm down further, focusing more and more on her breath. "... I'm... I'm sorry Jen... " She whispers with her head still burried against Jen. "... I want to stay... but I can't be around people... Not yet."
Jen sighed, but kept stroking the other woman's hair as she started to calm down. "I understand. If you can't do it, you can't do it. If you want, I can call someone, and probably get you a room at least for the night. It won't be fancy, but you'll be on your own at least. Is that okay with you? You can take the food, and head back there, and at least take a full night to rest up or sleep."
Jaisa nodded against Jen "... yeah... I'll... I'll do that... " she mumbled quietly. Carefully breaking away from Jen, her smile honest and her eyes like a panda... black and smudged. "Sorry for causing so much trouble already... Thanks for taking it so well. Most don't... "
Jensen reigned in the urge to reach out and wipe at the smudging a bit, just on the principle that it wouldn't be appreciated, even if it was helpful. "Of course. And I'll be here if you change your mind. Just give me a second to get you a room, and I'll tell you where to go."
Jaisa smiled still and thanked the woman. She picked up her belongings, wiped off most ofthe make up with a tissue and readied herself to leave for the room Jen arranged for her. Leaving with a honest and deeply appreciative, "Thanks," despite all that happened.
