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Approved Character Amari Al-Sumed

Soresu

Soresu

Well-Known Member
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First thing I've submitted on here in literally, months. So please bear with me, as I know it is about as blunt as can be.
 
Looks pretty good and pretty well-written. She seems to be a pretty sexy/alluring character, along with a being a doctor. I see no real bad errors, but I'd have to wait on Hack to see how Iroma it trully, but it's acceptable to me.
 
A few nits.

Build
Muscle Tone tone shouldn't be capitalized.
noticable > noticeable

eyes
orangy > orangey - possibly redundant since most amber is orange.

features
otherside should be other side

Likes
Everyonce two words Every once

Horticulture
'pet'Salcra missing a space 'pet' Salcra

Other than that, looks real good, would be nice if some of the exotic aspects were wikified. eg. Salcra Weed, Herdtitan, just to make it easier for folks to find out what they are.

Beyond this, I shall defer to Exhack
 
I do believe that is everything... Also, I linked the references to foods and flora and so forth. Dropped the orangey thing from the eyes and so it should be good to go. :)
 
RPG-D RPGfix
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