[BESM] Exhack Presents: The Bureau

[Revolver]

(Character posts here.)

The three protagonists found themselves trapped in a tool shed, surrounded on all sides by hordes of demons. The single, frail wooden door covering the entrance was like a bulwark, with the addition of the powerful spirit ward placed by a darkly-clad young man covered in a number of cuts. After barring the entrance to anything short of a determined enemy, he rested against the wall opposite to the door and raised his gun to immediately fire on any intruders. Blood dripped down from a cut over his left eye, masking his left field of vision in red, and oozed through his clothing.

"This ward won't hold for much longer... the way I am now." The exorcist said to the two supernatural women that accompanied him. "Can either of you fly... or warp the other to safety?"

Ibrii clicked her tongue in disdain, continuing to hold her broom out like a weapon just in case any of the horde managed to breach the barrier. "Oi, you think this broom is for show? I can fly, but there's no way I can carry the two of you." She glanced from the man to the other woman and then to the ceiling of the tool shed, not wanting to mention that she was getting low on magical reserves and that the penalty for straining too hard would pose an additional problem she really didn't want to deal with.

Sanya sat in a feedle position in what she thought was a corner of the shed. She didn't say a word. All she wanted was to get out of there, which wasn't very easy 'seeing' as she can't see, also not forgetting the fact of whatever the heck was out there.

"Ahaha, great." The exorcist chuckled, as he casually coughed up a small amount of blood. "How about the blind girl? I can handle myself just fine, once I don't have to worry about collateral damage."

"Alright. Up we go," the witch said as she grabbed the blind girl around the waist. "Hold on," she directed as she held the broom aloft. "Gotta open the door, first." As she closed her eyes and concentrated a slight smell of pumpkins began to waft about. "Ha!" she shouted out as she opened her eyes, which were glowing yellow as a blast of eldritch light blew through the roof of the shed.

Mustering up a bit of courage to speak, Sanya asks," Are you ok-" She stops, and squeaks in surprise at the sudden grab. "Wh- whuh? What are you doing" At the sound of the hole being made, she covered her head. "L- let go!"

"If you see me alive again, someday, I'm Finn." The exorcist said smiling bitterly, grunting as he stood up and straightening his wounded body. Drpplets of blood fell onto the ground, coming from the tips of his jacket. He retrieved a small grenade-like object from his jacket and grinned. "This gives you 3 seconds to run. Not four, not two, and don't think about five. Just run."

While giving the gnarled broomstick a little shake, Ibrii nodded to Finn, "I'm Ibrii. Nice to meet you. Look me up." She then looked up at the broom and addressed it, "Alright Old Man. Take us out of here." And with that Ibrii and her companion shot up through the hole in the ceiling at break-neck speed.

Something sounded wrong. His voice. But, before Sanya could say anything, she was pulled up... flying? "W- wah! Take me back!" she exclaimed, freaked out by the sudden sensation of not having anything solid under her and by her inner urge to help Finn. "I... we need to help him!"

Sanya's words were cut short by a sudden, deafening explosion that looked like a large sphere of fire expanding out of an ivory grapefruit. The swarm of demons were all instantly incinerated, and those that did not die were set aflame and burned into hot ash in a matter of seconds. The entire scene had been permanently rearranged to resemble a charred pit, with Finn, no more or less injured than before standing in the middle of it. His clothes were covered in cinders and metal bits glowed lightly, but he did not appear to have been burned.

"Well... that was great. I should make more of these things tomorr-" He coughed, as he collapsed into the soft, burnt dirt beneath him.

The blast startled Ibrii and she looked back at the smoking remains. "Lawks a-massy," she breathed as she surveyed the carnage. She looked at her passenger and nodded, "Yeah, let's make sure he's okay. Old Man, take us back down." The broom swung around and returned towards where the tool shed once stood.

Sanya clung tightly to the witch, feeling as if she was plummeting to the ground. 'I'm not going to die, I'm not going to die...' she kept repeating to herself rapidly within her mind. 'This person has tried to save me so far... they won't kill me now....'

Finn's body lay perfectly still in the soot, sunk maybe half an inch into the ground and breathing at a disconcertingly slow rate.

Once they were close enough to the ground the broom suddenly no longer supported their weight and Ibrii stepped down onto the ground and released the blind girl. She pursed her lips at the sight of Finn on the ground and looked around, trying to detect if there were any more coming.

In an attempt to calm down, Sanya took a few deep breaths. Serious adrenaline rush. "Are... you okay Finn?" she asks.

"..." Finn was likely unconscious, or unable to make the appropriate parts of his body work to communicate.

Ibrii looked back at the two and asked, "Is he alright?" She reached down and opened one of her satches and fiddled around looking for something.

From the lack of response, Sanya concluded that he probably wasn't alright. "Where is he? Is he badly hurt?"

"Huh? He's right in front of you," Ibrii said, sounding a little annoyed as she pulled out what she was looking for: a deck of cards. Walking back over as she began to shuffle the cards and looked at the body herself. "Maybe I should just take him to a hospital or something," she mused grimly. How was the blind girl going to be able to help him?

"Ah...." Sanya kneeled down, reaching forward to find the body. Where wa- there! It felt like him at least. "Don't be dead...." Sanya whispered to herself before taking a deep breath. "There's no need to take him to a hospital... hopefully." The blind girl concentrated, keeping her hands on whatever part of Finn's body she grabbed as they glowed.

Several minutes passed before the man regained consciousness, his external wounds finally dealt with, At first, his body quivered at Sanya's hold, and eventually stopped, giving way to a muffled scream.

Ibrii began to chant as she released the deck of cards into the air. There they remained, supported by magical energy as she grabbed the top card. As soon as she removed it from the pile the rest of the deck lost it's support and began to fall. Ibrii swiftly snatched them out of the air with her other hand and flipped the drawn card over to reveal "IX- The Hermit." A glow came from the card and surrounded the area. The witch then returned the card to the deck and slipped the whole thing back into her bag. "There," she said, "That should mask our presence for a little while. It's not very strong, though."

Sanya's hands instantly were taken off of Finn. Why was he screaming? "Oh cr-.... Did I hurt you? What's wrong??" she asked, clearly panicked.

Finn flipped himself onto his back and glared at the blind girl with a tinge of venom. "I don't mind the attention, but did you have to grab my ass and ribs that hard? They're wounded, yannow!"

"You know, I sort of figured you had that whole blind seer thing going on," Ibrii confessed as she looked down on Finn and the girl, "but you're really blind-blind, huh? Like, you really can't see anything at all?"

Sanya covered the lower half of her face with her hands. "S- S- Sorry! Sorry so- sorry!!" She quickly retracted into the fetal position again, with her head bowed to stare into her lap. "Sorry.... I really can't see anything...."

"Oh... uh..." Finn fumbled, feeling somewhat idiotic for what he had said. "...say, why aren't I dead?"

"Oi, oi," Ibrii exclaimed in surprise, she hadn't meant to upset the girl. She stepped back and looked at where she had let her broom fall. "Get up Old Man," she said softly and it began to hover slightly above the ground.

"Uhm... I... healed you," Sanya says meekly. She waited to be told what to do, seeing as she couldn't do anything right. Even when saving someone's life, she has to grope them.

"Huh. Well... the fact that I was able to feel pain is a testament to your skill." Finn said, suppressing a laugh. "I'd probably be numb if you were a half-assed healer."

Ibrii stepped up and balanced herself on the hovering broom. "Need anything else?" she asked, "Before I take off, I mean."

"Ah..." Sanya couldn't stop herself from blushing at the compliment. "Thank you... both of you."

"Yeah..." Finn grunted, pulling himself up to sit. "Don't watch any strange videos, or fly low during ominous mists. The Bureau has enough to deal on its plate without magic users being kidnapped by eldritch abominations."

Ibrii clicked her tongue again, wondering just how serious the man was. "Well, it's luckily I was flying by and could help. Give me a call anytime if you need help again. It was fun."

"What's the Bureau?" Sanya asked, her curious side getting the better of her. She was already calming down after her incident with... groping Finn.

"Think of us as mercenaries of the soul, in this crapsack world." Finn grinned, wiping a small amount of blood from his left eye. "We do what exorcists do, but against the demons that bite back. Not that I care, we get payed in cold, hard cash."

Seeing her business for now was done, Ibrii addressed her broom with a simple, "Oi, Old Man, let's go home," and took off into the sky and headed home for a relaxing cup of tea.

"Ah. Okay..." Sanya responded awkwardly. She wondered... maybe she could join?

"Say... blind girl. You wouldn't happen to have a place I can crash at, do ye?" Finn asked Sanya in a manner that seemed to equally blend brusque manner and desperate sarcasm. "I'd normally get myself a hotel room, but they don't let in chaps covered in ash and dried blood unless they've got reservations prior."

"Uhm. I suppose. I have a small apartment.... Oh, and my name is Sanya." Oh right, she never introduced herself.

"Great, great. I'll pay for your groceries or something." The exorcist replied, finally standing up after what seemed like nearly half an hour in the dirt. "You *do* know how to get home, right?"

 

[Revolver]

Nearly two weeks after the incident at the park, which resulted in the near death of the exorcist known as Finn, the newly expanded cast find themselves inside of the Bureau offices. Located on a large back zeppelin hovering over the member states of the EU, it is considered by many to be a dangerous and ominous floating skyscraper, a vertical office building complete with a solid deck of cubicles, several food courts and many laboratories catering to the varying needs of the exorcists, hireling magic users and supernaturals inhabiting it. Finn has finally returned after a few days in the rural UK, bringing with him the blind psi-user Sanya, who saved his life half a month earlier.

What will the people at the office think of this latest development in the workplace?

Using a torn rag, Gabrielle wiped the remaining blood from her hands as she entered the office. Despite her rather messy work in the morgue, she managed to keep her dress perfectly clean. It was only natural, given her tidy nature. "That's it, we're all out of spare body parts." Gabrielle sighed. "I do hope we get another mission soon so we may kill more creatures for spare parts...and so we may kill our boredom as well."

Among the myriad of beings, those supernatural oddities and mundane alike, there was a tall, thin man with straight, midlength blonde hair combed back. He wasn't particularly handsome nor was he ugly, and the most notable thing about him was his attire. He wore what looked like some kind of old military uniform, a black, double brested jacket with a high waist long tails that had a crimson collar adorned with worn golen laurels. Around his neck hung two medals, one a stylized five-winged star attached to a red neck ribbon and the other a black, Germanic cross with a red, white, and black ribbon.

An intern with blank eyes wandered through the cubicles, looking like he was in a trance. In either hand was a traveller mug of coffee. He weaved through aisles and around coworkers to get to an office door at the head of the room. Just as he reached it, a hulking giant stuffed into a grey suit pulled it open. He grabbed both cups and turned back into the office, passing one of the cups to a much smaller, elegantly dressed gentleman who emerged from the room. He looked down at the cup and considered it for a moment. He shrugged and pushed it back into the hands of the intern before heading out into the larger cubicle zoo.

The younger worker remained staring blankly for several moments before seemingly snapping back into reality. He looked around for a moment, then down at the coffee in his hand, somewhat worried. He then hurried away from the door, as quickly as possible, as the man in the black suit strode out into the office, approaching the man with the interesting attire. "Mr. Delacroix, has Finn returned to base yet?"

"Ah... monsieur Croix," Michele responded, sounding somewhat annoyed at being distrubed from the trance he was in, "I can't recall. I vaguely remember seeing Finn, but cannot be sure; I'm afraid I was not paying much attention to... the corporeal matters of this office."

Cross frowned slightly. Two hundred years of experience, and this worker couldn't be bothered to pay attention to who came in or out? "What exactly were you paying attention to, Mr. Delacroix? Please tell me that our containment units didn't fail again."

Sanya clung to the sleeve of Finn, not wanting to get lost. Where exactly was she? She knew where she was, but lacked the details. Only time would tell if her tagging along was a stupid choice or not.

Michele cocked an eyebrow at Cross' continued questioning. He wanted to get back to planning his next piece--Oh! the rusty crimson beads of vitae rolling down soft, still-warm flesh. It would be perfection. "Important matters, monsieur Croix. And I doubt there is need to worry about the containment fields," he said, catching a gimplse of Finn and what appeared to be a new pet. "Ah, there is Finn now," the Frenchman said, pointing to the exorcist

With the psi user clinging to her arm, Finn continued on down the halls towards his usual office space, unsure whether to lament the plight of being the crutch to the only paranormal blind girl without second sight in the entirety of the UK, or actually enjoy it. On his way down, he had filled out all of the paperwork so that Sanya wouldn't wind up being made into a thrall, or lab experiment, and picked up a new assignment from one of the higher ups. Whether it was to cut out a middle man, or keep both of his arms out of groping range of anyone, or anything, that might do more than grope back, would never be told to him. "Hey, you didn't think I had gone ahead and blown meself up, did you?"

Cross immediately shot his head in the direction of the exorcist and his new friend. Finn was cocky (and scatter-minded) as usual, although the new arrival was very much confused. "Mr. Finn, may I ask who, exactly, your friend is?" Cross wasn't happy when things went on without his knowledge, which was relatively unoften.

"Finn, I had no idea you were into that sort of thing." Gabrielle's eyes flickered over to the girl as she dropped the bloody rag onto the desk. "Really, you're such a deviant if you're into girls that young."

"... I swear, she's blind and has to hold onto me like this! She saved my life, and I crashed on her couch while I investigated the countrysi-." Finn exclaimed, protesting the insinuations that he was *that* kind of lecher, but soon realizing that he had said too little, too late. At this point, all he could do was damage control."Crap woman, she doesn't have second sight and has ta hold onto me until the layout becomes familiar. Aye Gabrielle... she's in our division now, as a support caster."

Cross grimaced. As the exorcist wasn't responding to words, the mind would have to do. He sent a loud "OVER HERE." straight to the gunman's brain.

"Really, now, there's no need to get worked up about it." Gabrielle put a hand over her mouth to pretend shock and to hide her humor at his reaction. "It almost seems as if you have something to hide. No matter, I won't tell her parents." Her gaze turned back to the girl. "In any case...what's you're name, dear?"

"A- ah! Nothing like THAT happened!" Sanya sputtered out. She clung a bit tighter to the sleeve, though that probably wouldn't help the point. "Uhm... my name is Sanya."

"Of that I am sure, mademoiselle Sanya. You are a lady of honor, of course!" Michele tried to say warmly, instead coming off as emotionless as ever. If only she did not work for the bureau. She would make an exquisite base for a piece. No matter, when her inevitable death came, he would be sure to request her corpse for study.

Gabrielle glanced over at Michele. It was all too obvious what he was thinking based on the way he was looking at her. She sent him sharp glance that seemed to say, I know what you're thinking, but I saw her first. Turning back to Sanya with a smile, she took the girl's hand lightly. "Let onee-sama give you a tour while Monsieur Finn briefs the others on the next assignment."

Michele nodded an "ok" to Gabrielle, a wide, genuine smile spreading across his face. He understood what she implied with her glance, and acknowledged it. At least to allow her to believe that he was fine with her claiming the new girl.

Yeah... yeah. Guess you also know I'm carrying an assignment, right? Finn thought as loudly inside of his own head as humanly possible, given the fact that he lacked any telepathic, or really, any magical abilities. Then of course, Michele had to show up. He didn't particularly mind the French, but whenever they wholly gave themselves over to unnatural passions, they creeped the hell out of him, and the surgeon was no exception. This was a man who was to medicine was the Marquis de Sade was to sex, and he'd put the entire Zeppelin up in a conflagration before he let his pretty manicured man-hands on a girl as untainted as Sanya. He was not any more reassured when Gabrielle expressed interest in her, either. "Oi, while I'm gone, don't even think about it, ye flesh twisting perverts. She probably the only one of us without the Mark of the Beast, or some other craven god seared into her arse."

"Uh uhm... okay." This woman seemed nice so far, from what Sanya could hear and feel. The psi-user reluctantly let go of Finn's sleeve.

Nice try, Mr. Finn, Mr. Cross responded, once again via telepathy. Just don't try it again. "What's the assignment, Finn. And damnit, Delacroix, I know what you're thinking. You are NOT getting that girl's corpse, so don't get any ideas when we're deployed."

"Qu'est-ce que c'est, Monsieur Croix?" Michele asked, pretending not to have been paying attention to the man's words. "I would never do such a thing!" he quickly said in a cold, mock-serious tone.

Cross shook his head. "I'm a telepath, you idiot. You're not fooling anyone." The be-suited man paused for a moment and looked at the rest of the office. "Except them, of course. But not the point, now is it?"

Aaaaand it suddenly got creepy. They wanted her... corpse? Sanya took a blind step backward. They couldn't be serious, could they?

"A-class, every employee in the division is eligible, except the ones that were cursed to be incorporeal on the mainland. Brainfax, as usual." The exorcist explained, handing the main what appeared to be a human brain in a jar. "Apparently, we've got a case of a vampire manor in Amsterdam being hit up pretty fuckin' bad by some Great Old Ones worshipers. Used their own bodies as summoning circles and let some eldritch spawn from a dimension of incomprehensible abject terror through. Killed everyone but the elder, his five wives and six male-wives."

Perhaps I will teach you to admire my art one day, the Frenchman thought as he licked his lips, knowing Cross would pick up on it. When Finn began his explanation of the assignment, Michele would listen intently, searching his memory for any pertinent information he'd come across in his life. "And what are we to do about it, Monsieur Finn?" he asked.

A rapping on the windows came from outside the floating office building. From the exterior, Ibrii opened the window and let herself in. "Wotchers, dearies," she said with a wide grin as she flew in on her old broomstick. Once inside she hopped off the broom and shut the window. "So, this is where you work then, eh luv?" the witch asked Finn as she kicked the broom out of the air and into her hands as if it was a skateboard and looked about the office. "A pretty white-collar looking affair if you ask me."

"You should know that men are little more than wolves, ma cherie." Gabrielle smiled as she led the girl into the hall and begun to show her around the entire complex. "That's why you should only trust your Onee-sama, Gabrielle de Montmorency."

Cross took the jar and examined it. "You don't listen to me very well, Finn. This is a C-Class. What did you tell the bosses we were? Janitors? And Michele, one. More. Fucking. Thought." The demonically-aided human glared at the Frenchman... until a young woman on a broom flew through the window. "... This is not bring your friend to work day, damn it," Cross growled at Finn.

"Ah... Jesus Feck Arse Christ the Destroyer! It's that Stan fucker from Marketing. He told me the EU-Zep heads were out golfing and handed me today's jar." Finn grunted, facepalming himself and reaching for a flash inside of his jacket. He stopped, hearing the voice of the witch from a few weeks ago, and sighed. "It's just a block of cubicles for the field divisions, witchie. The only guys in real white-collar jobs are dealing with finances and our public image." He explained, sweeping his arm to point at the assorted and eclectic supernatural office drones in the block. "Say, how do you feel about a trip to Amsterdam?"

"I have not been in many years," Michele admitted. "Although the meat there is not so fresh, having been cured and seasoned with all manner of things, such as, how do you say... cannabis, it is still a wonderful city. And we are close, no? Cleaning this mess up should be no problem at all."

Ibrii just laughed at Cross being quite cross with the gunman. "Oi, sounds like ammah make sure I bring a warm coat then," she responded to Finn's question. "Wot's up there that needs doing?" Glancing at Cross she added with a grin, "Buck up there else your face stick like that."

Cross glared at the witch. "I'm sure that I will be fine. But what in hell are you doing here?" Cross shook his head. I can throw buildings with my mind, and I still have to put up with this shit. And fifty more years until my next contract negotiation... "Alright, did we get an exact number of hostiles? Or, even better, what the bastards are?"

"Buncha' vampires got their arses invaded, plundered and handed to them by some eldritch nasties up in Amsterdam. We're the chaps cleaning up the mess and putting the blighters down." Finn shrugged casually, before glancing back at Mr Cross. "Twenty appendage swarm-types, three hulks and one dream eater. Since they've taken Vampire blood, they might show signs of ghoulish physical enhancements, and addiction to the stuff. The coven is probably in early stages of dimensional overlap with their native plane."

"I'm assuming they already canceled out just sending a bomb through the front door?" Cross asked, scanning the brainfax for a slightly more vivid picture. It wasn't pleasant by any means.

With a mischievious grin, Ibrii slid up right next to the well dressed man in the suit. "I fly where'n I please. And wot's your name then, luv?" At that, the witch slid her hand down and goosed Mr. Cross' backside.

"The dream eater used illusions to make a demolition team blow themselves up by fooling all of their senses. Luckily for us, the interference on caused by its native plane makes the job a crapsack easier once we're inside." Finn explained, briefing noticing that the witch had done something wholly unimaginable. "..."

"My name is Mr. Cross, I-" Cross' mouth fell open. He couldn't feel it, considering her hand hit nothing but a layer of silk over a bare pelvic bone, but he could hear Ibrii's thoughts concerning the matter. "Did you just..."

"Ah... at any rate, brainfax the division, and tell the ones that volunteer to meet me at the dropsite. I'll report in early." Finn said, not thinking at all, but rather instinctively attempting to avert the destruction of the division's cubicle block.

"Lawks! Nothin' but a sack a'bones are you?" Ibrii exclaimed with a cackle. "It's a pleasure to meetcha anyway Mista Cross."

====================

Eighteen hours later, in the city of Amsterdam, the employees and associates of the Bureau now find themselves in standing across from a manor which radiates the sensation of being entirely alien to the world, in the sense that if the world had a spirit, this was like a cancerous, malevolent possession concentrated in one small location. Lifeless tendrils erupted from the classic brick walls and large blinking eyes replaced the windows of the house. In the middle of the street, between the agents and their target, was a mess of blood, cooked meat, shattered bone and explosive residues, likely from the previous attempt to demolish the edifice.

"What a charming little chapeau." Gabrielle said to no one in particular as she clasped her hands and smiled. "If I had the time, I could create a circle of demon binding and have this place refurbished. Such a shame it all has to go to waste. On the bright side, there's plenty of materials to work with here, it would seem..."

Cross kicked at a burned chunk of meat. At first, he had kicked it out of boredom, although now it had stuck to his shoe and he was having a bit of trouble getting it off. To his side, Charon stood in his grey suit with his assault rifle. "Alright, so," Cross began, temporarily removing his attention from the piece of demolitions worker that had taken such a like to him, "How shall we proceed? Tear the front off the house, throw some bombs in, and shoot it? Make the bastards eat each other?"

Once again, Sanya had affixed herself to the sleeve of Finn. She grimaced at the smells in the air, namely burnt/rotting flesh. What exactly was she doing there? A blind person on the battlegrounds. She was just going to get in the way.

Michele Delacroix approached the bloody mess, kneeling and running a finger through the pools of ichor before tasting the crimson liquid. He immediately spat it out, its flavor bitter to his refined palate. "The taint is radiating even outside of the house," he said as he stood and wiped his hand on the white smock he now wore over his normal clothing. "Whatever we do, we should do it soon, else these monsters will attach themselves to this world."

"Oi, Imma have to agree wid Mista Bones here," Ibrii observed, sitting on her broom sideways with her legs dangling from one side and her bum hanging off the other. "This place doesn't need an Exorcist, it needs a demolitions team."

"Well... it's damn easy with these types. We use our telepaths to navigate the place until reach the dream eater, and then I shove the lord's divine ordnance up the fucker's pisser." Finn said grouchily, feeling somewhat tired from the trip. "He stops mucking with reality and we can solve each small problems in the manor our own ways."

"Of course it tastes like shit, Delacroix. You just sipped the juice of a couple guys who exploded and then baked in the sun for a good chunk of time." Cross glanced over the house. "How exactly you propose we approach that course of action, Finn? I'm trying to find a bad guy in a house made of malevolence based solely on his thoughts. Perhaps you would like to explain how one fishes for a turd in an ocean of shit? Let's just rip the place in half and shake the pieces really hard until he falls out."