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Approved Submission Electroptic/Quasitransistor femtoprocessor

OsakanOne

OsakanOne

Inactive Member
Retired Member
Submission Type: Computer technology/system architecture
Submission URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=lazarus:femtoprocessor

Faction: Lorath, Nepleslian, DATASS
FM Approved Yet?: Yes
Faction requires art?: No

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles?: No
Contains New art?: No
Previously Submitted?: Nope

Notes:
Lots of big words but underneath it, but its a fairly simple set of concepts that are pretty easy to understand.
 
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Alright, this is already looking a lot better. We still got some work to do though. Since you mentioned preferring bullet points before, I'll go ahead and list some suggestions.

- Have an opening sentence or two at the very top of the page saying that it's a tougher, more efficient processor technology, made by so-and-so, and what year. Nothing complex.
- Reorganize the About section for easier readability; instead of immediately focusing on the technological advancements, have the About section talk about the end-results the consumer would get. Things like how it's performance is better and that it's resistant to EMP phenomena. Then explain in-brief the technology behind it as it currently does.

There's more to do, but I don't want to swamp you with a whole bunch of stuff at once. Still, post again when you've either made changes or feel you would like to know more.
 
Though we still got some things to do, it's looking much better.
  • The opening sentence seems to suddenly cut off, and it could use some punctuation to help with the flow. Since it's the opening, you only need to say it's both faster and hardier than conventional processors.
  • With the About section, you'll next need to state what it does better than other processors; being EMP resistant, self organizing and so forth first. Only after that, is it appropriate to start saying why. For that reason, the information in the "Physical Switching" subsection is roughly the same content as what's currently in the opening of the About section. It's also smoother and easier to get into, so I suggest seeing if using that is better
  • The "Mechanism" and "Mechanical Origin" parts are likely better off as their own level 5 sections, but we can come back to them later
 
Why the big emphasis on which headings are used or document element order? There's actually no template to follow here. I'm normally very patient but this is getting pedantic. Please focus on the logic, game mechanics, core requirements and standards and pedagogy of submission; you're getting bogged down by what fundamentally are subjectively derived expectations of layout.

Given how disproportionate the number of articles is to reviewers especially now and the technical focus and requirements of my plots I might have to start using soft canon and use the submission system as a means of preserving truth after the fact rather than as an absolute guideline; I have Lots I haven't submitted yet just do I don't choke the board;it's not fair on everybody else.

I'm sorry if this seems personal;it's not ment to be I'm just frustrated beyond my professional capacity and I feel I'm not alone. Ugh.
 
@OsakanOne

I'm focusing on headers, document order, sentence structure and grammar since the tech itself is good to go from my perspective. It's just that I want to make sure that for most people, it's easy to read and understand. You're right that there isn't a template for something like this, but most articles follow a certain pattern, and that's what I'm trying to get this article to fit into. Take for example, the About section. Rather than just telling a reader about the technology in general or giving a brief overview of what they can expect it to do and such, its a very large mass of information about it from top to bottom.

As it is right now, I wouldn't feel comfortable approving it even though the tech is fine because of this, but I won't reject it either. If you'd like, we can keep trying to work on this and discuss what should and shouldn't be changed, try asking for feedback from other players, or even ask for a different mod to review this.
 
I'm at a point where the fun of the article is over and it might never come back. I'm bored of it. Its boring. This is boring. I'm bored. And the ratio of initial interest vs outcome interest means I'm now frustrated and I feel like I've wasted my time. I might give a shit again in maybe a week or two if I need some escapism from stress or if I can score something to augment my patience but right now the amount of fun my involvement has with it is lower than the invested amount of work.

This is the same reason Luca's off writing a novel instead of roleplaying. The site historically provides structure but it can be really stiffling if you actually want a sharp turnaround time or you want to do something other than "play chess" with existing set-pieces. Lots of setting fluff I write that's not impacting on gameplay outside of my own plots never even ends up on the wiki for this reason and there's even more I have written up all over the place that isn't worth the hassle of submission that my players are SCREAMING at me to DO SOMETHING with.

Submitting shit is the least fun part of the site and if you want to make a fresh experience, you not only have to GM *AND* produce content but you also have to then get the content approved. I'm not saying its wrong, it just lets the air out of my tank enough to take the inertia and enthusiasm out of what I'm doing.

I don't *CARE* about damage ratings: Almost nobody else is even going to use my gear especially not in PVP anyway.

Its not that the site has changed, there's just a far far greater number of things competing for my attention and I've only got a finite amount of attention to give and as you get older, that amount steadily falls off. And I'm a NEET/Hikikomori, which means I have free time in abundance. I can't even imagine what its like for someone with a job or even a life.

Put it on hold, Cadet.
 
I've been debating this for nearly six hours at this point so I'm going to just speak up.

I am very interested in seeing this come to completion. As such should @OsakanOne not want to continue working on this I'll pick up the article and make the edits while remaining in communication with them to ensure that the intended content is maintained.

If this is agreeable I'll need only one thing from @CadetNewb to get to work. I want a list of what you want to see section wise. For example:

About
Technical Information
Ect.
Ect.

If you can do this I can possibly have this article arrayed structurally within a day of response.
 
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Cool. I originally wanted to just tackle things a few at a time, to make it easy, but let me try and put it all into points. Hopefully, that'll help.
  • Opening: A part of it suddenly stops and appears to be incomplete. Other than that, all the relevant info is there; it just needs to be neatly tied together and have links to Lazarus and the YE it was made
  • About: It needs to focus on two primary things; giving a brief, general overview of what it is, and what can be expected for it to provide or do for the end-user. Right now, there's too much info stuffed into its sub-sections. Those need to be set aside for following sections instead, rather than being part of this one.
  • History: The information in the "Mechanical Origin" would be best put under this section. The reason why "History" would be preferred over it is that it also gives more opportunity to include some of the setting and what's happened in it to lead up to these events that created the EQFM. I do point out that this also appears to be incomplete based off of how the last sentence suddenly stops however.
  • Composition/Design/???: I'm not sure what to name it, but most of the "About" sub-sections can go here, and would explain the How behind the What that's given by the "About" which came before it. The only issues I see here is that it makes some statements or assumptions about conventional processor systems that I think may be incorrect. I suggest taking portions of that out, since the article doesn't need to go into depth about conventional processing systems. It's just more potential clutter and another point that can go wrong. All that's needed is to mention their shortcomings or strengths and how the new proposed system compares.
    An example of what's wrong that can be skipped; It states that conventional processors and their transistors use moving parts when they don't for an example. From what I understand it's not the 'moving parts' that aren't even there that fry during an EMP, but the fact the transistors and stuffs form a loop, and the magnetic pulse + conductive loop = electrical current, which does the frying.
  • Neural Operation: Make sure to correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe this section is entirely redundant. A processor only handles data, and unless the processor itself has flaws (human brain) than it'll be very precise and predictable. Any anomalies would come out of the 'script' or 'program' which the processor runs. Any processor can run any 'program' including a human mind, provided it's powerful enough to do all the work at an acceptable pace.
  • Interaction with Existing - : I believe that this can be merged into both the About and History sections, as one of its purposes would be what's stated here, which ties into its history of development.
 
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