5tar
Active Member
ON: Aries Starbase - Meeting Room #W-372
Meanwhile, still stuck on the Aries Starbase; Shizuka and Nicholas had finished the more private parts of their classified meeting and now were now about to start discussing topics the Taisa had set aside for the future of the Senbu. "Well, Shosa..." she Lioness started with his rank, once again, speaking playfully in her pride of his new standing. "The first order of business," she paused grinning happily before correcting herself, "Rather, the second order of business, is to decide how we will deal with these pirates."
It overjoyed the Geshrin Shosa to see his Taisa so happy, even as they began to speak seriously, glad for his part in contributing to her jubilant manner, and smiled widely at her correction. “We go where command orders us to go, Shizuka,” Nicholas answered her plainly, saying the words as if there were no other answer, somewhat dodging the question with what he told her. “If they provide you with the tools to confront the pirates we faced and the orders to destroy them, then that is what we shall do.” He paused for a moment, searching for how to answer her more directly. “If we are given that opportunity,” he said at last, remembering something that he’d heard some of the older men in his family say, “a frontal attack would be the most honorable course of action.”
Shizuka nodded, as she then pulled a data pad from the corner of her desk with her finger tip. "Well, I plan on putting in the request for an additional ship or two, ones we could use as escorts and for strategically bolstering our fighting capability." Shizuka brought up a list of things that were listed up for topics of discussion. "We'll have to make a decision on the two we would want by the end of the day, but it seems there's another issue we have to address while we're here. It seems the newly-ranked Taii Kameko Izuki would like to make a personal request. I've sent a message to her telling her it'd be fine if we did that now." Shizuka called up the Yamataian’s profile and stared at it curiously. "I wonder what she would want to ask..."
“She is a good officer and beyond worth on the bridge. Whatever her request is shouldn’t be a problem,” Nicholas said in reaction to Izuki’s apparent petition. The Geshrin Shosa’s still-wandering and surreal thoughts eventually rested on the matter what ships would be added to the Senbu’s company–what would make up Commodore Shizuka’s little flotilla. He’d served on many ships throughout his career, and had personally commanded a Ketsueki-class frigate briefly. One ship stuck out in his mind as exemplary, however. The YSS Mikomi, or rather the Nozomi-class Scout ship. It was small, fast, and effective and precisely what they would require for what the Taisa described. He made a note of his thoughts on his data pad as he waited for Shizuka to continue with the current matter of Kameko-taii’s request.
Shizuka's concentration lifted to the door as it called for attention, meaning that the Taii had arrived. "Come in," the Taisa called out to the Yamataian, who then proceeded to do so. The rather tall Yamataian woman with long, straight black hair stepped into the room promptly and stood formally within five paces of the officers. She bowed her head orderly before the two and then waited to be addressed before speaking. "Kameko-taii, it's good to see you with such a fitting promotion. I hear you have a request of me, I hope it's nothing too dire; what can I do for you?" Shizuka asked, after, of course, returning the bow ceremoniously before speaking.
Nicholas nodded courteously to Izuki in response to the formalities that she flawlessly presented to him and Shizuka. “Yes, congratulations on your elevation to Taii, Kameko-san,” Nicholas told her. The Yamataian had served him well on the bridge while he was in command, so he didn’t object to her promotion in the slightest. He contemplated what her request to Shizuka would be with anticipation; whatever it was that she wanted was probably deserved.
"Thank you, Endo-taisa and Saiga-shosa," she said with a small smile as she pleasantly enjoyed the praise. But it was not for long; she stepped forward and presented a data pad and placed it on the desk. "Though I would enjoy spending more time with the Senbu, I believe that if I am to honor my name and my ancestors, my path is not with the Senbu. I have caught word that a new squadron of warships is forming and I consider myself worthy of commanding a ship for the Empire. Again, this request isn't rooted in any ill will towards any part of the Senbu or its crew. I just think that, because of the nature of this future project, I can rise up to a higher potential to give so much more to the Empire as well as my clan." Izuki bowed her head once more and awaited their answers.
At first Nicholas disapproved, his face showing a sour expression as she began speaking her request. However, that quickly went away as Izuki explained her position. The Shosa hated that she was asking this, but could not disagree with her reasoning; until recently, every one of his actions were dedicated solely to the Empire, his family, and his ancestors–not that still did not hold the utmost reverence for these things. “I see,” the Geshrin said dourly. “There is no valid reason I have to object to what you ask, however, the decision is Endo-taisa’s.”
At this point, Shizuka was a little surprised, but not shocked as she glanced to Nicholas with a despairing frown. She knew that something along these lines would most likely be the topic, but mainly because she thought that the Yamataian girl didn't enjoy her station. "Your efficiency and abilities are beyond what any commander could want; I'm very reluctant to let you go," Shizuka said rather frankly as she picked up the data pad and quickly skimmed it over, then handed it over to Nick. "But, I do agree Kameko-taii," the Lioness said with a gradual nod. "You could most definitely gain plenty prestige with a station such as that, and I believe you’d make a fierce commanding officer." The Taisa crossed her arms and sat back looking over the Taii with a disappointed expression. "Kameko Izuki, you have my permission to honorably withdraw your services from the YSS Senbu, but with one condition," Shizuka waited a moment for the suspense to settle in, she took a small bit of pleasure in watching the Taii flinch as she awaited the condition, "you have to make a glorious name for yourself and come back to me when I get my own fleet," Shizuka grinned happily, winking at Nick after the mention of becoming a flag officer.
Taking the data pad when it was handed off to him, Nicholas noted the Taisa’s decision on Izuki’s file when it had been made. “Thank you for your service. You were invaluable to me during the last few battles, Kameko-taii,” he said, standing up from his seat to give her a proper bow. “May the fortunes and kami protect you, and let us one day serve together again,” the Geshrin said in compliment. “When Endo-taisa gets her own fleet, of course,” he added, sounding as serious as he’d been throughout the moment, inwardly intending sarcasm as he found Shizuka’s visions of grandeur extremely amusing.
Izuki returned the bow at the hip this time, deeply and respectfully bowing to the administrative members of the Senbu. That's when she noticed something a little off, a bunched up article of clothing by the legs of the chairs in front of the desk. She stayed bowed for a moment longer, as she stared long and hard to try and defuse what it could be. Then, her head quickly rose up as she quickly figured out what it was; she could even feel a blush coming on. So the rumors were true! she thought internally. And to think she had fought against those rumors for the vanity of her superiors! "Well, then, um–I would also like to request letters of recommendation from the both of you. But, I should be off now... if you could send them to me soon that would be very good. I should go pack, if you’d excuse me," she said her last bit rather hurried and seemed a little flustered towards the end. Soon after a nod from Shizuka, she was out the door.
The Shosa sat back down after Izuki departed the office, not paying much mind to her odd change of demeanor. “So, Taisho Shizuka-taisa,” Nicholas said, mocking the Nekovalkyrja now that they were alone again, “Will your fleet be ready for battle before or after the Mishhuvurthyar return to threaten the Empire?” He knew that the Taisa was an ambitious servant of Yamatai, but was unaware of this particular aspiration. It wasn’t that it was an unattainable goal that so humored the Geshrin, it was that she sounded so confident and sure of its inevitability.
Shizuka glanced sharply at Nicholas with a dagger glare, then refolded her arms and leaned back in her chair, glancing off through the door. "I was merely being friendly with the Taii, Saiga-san. But as for my aspirations, I can only dream of going so high. I'm a Nekovalkyrja, the root of the word being Valkyrie; I am a battle maiden whom can only rise to glory... or fall trying." Shizuka spoke grimly of her reality, but had accepted it long ago when it was her adoptive sister who had fallen to such a fate. "Though if the SMX do return, I will be one of the first ones in the front lines, fighting to take away much more then they have stolen from me." Her dark mood went from wistful to contained anger in a single sentence. It seemed he had struck a very sore spot with the Taisa.
“You should not speak in such forlorn terms, Shizuka. Such gloom doesn’t become you,” Nicholas told her in an attempt to change the course that his joking had directed the conversation on. “Glory will be yours, I have no doubt of that,” he encouraged, “and you will not fall in any regard–on the battlefield or otherwise–while I remain in your company.” Although he had no such goals similar to his Taisa’s, Nicholas was still greatly motivated by the prospect of rising to be her second when she achieved her target. “I will endeavor to support you in any way that I can, Shizuka. Everything I can do will be done to ensure that Kameko-taii has to return to us in expedient time,” he said sincerely. “As our Empire’s honored anthem says: let the moments of our future be greater than those passed.”
"Such promises seem rather ambitious for one who has never taken a life in close combat. How can you promise to defend me when you have just begun your own path of blood?" Shizuka spoke back out of spite, still sore from his previous comment. "Our anthem also includes the verse “our strength and wisdom put to use.” Perhaps you should gain the wisdom of face to face combat before deciding to put to use your strength in my defense. If you don't your promises may be just as empty as a politician's." The ferocity of the Red Lion returned to her, feeling a swell of anger start again deep inside which just piled up with his comments before.
Nicholas found himself unable to say anything in reply to Shizuka. What the Geshrin said was always sincere, whether they carried the truth or not, but what he’d just told the Taisa were words that he’d intended to keep. He shrank into his chair slightly as a great empty feeling made itself strong in his chest, a trembling hand coming to rest over the lower part of his face. “I recommend that you consider the Nozomi-class Scout when looking into escort vessels for our future missions, Endo-taisa,” Nicholas said, rising from his place at the desk, picking up his data pad as he went. The Geshrin wouldn’t be able to erect himself with proper posture, standing in a slouch as if a heavy weight were hung over the back of his neck. “If you would excuse me, Taisa, I must prepare for the leave that you have most graciously grated to myself and this crew. I will be in my quarters on the Senbu if you require my services,” he stated as he walked slowly towards the compartment’s door, his serious, official tone faltering at certain syllables that he would normally have spoken perfectly. “Good day to you, Taisa.”
"So you plan on leaving without me?" Shizuka raised a brow to his mention of preparing for his leave. If he answered yes, it only meant that he would be the very politician she accused him of being. ‘I can travel with you and show you around any planet that you ask me to, but I can never bring you into my home...’ His words still echoed loudly in her head. She had longed for their trip together to see the capital homeworld she had been fighting since birth to protect. But if he planned on going forward, then she wasn't going to stop him. Though with each of his steps she could already feel the emotional turmoil mix in a chaotic mess; what was anger towards his words before soon became pain and amalgamated into something much worse.
“I am unsure if you are able to comprehend the emotion, Taisa…” Nicholas began in a momentary lapse of his charade, stopping himself from saying any more of that particular thought as he quickly analyzed its connotations. “Do you wish me to, Endo-taisa?” he asked in direct response to Shizuka’s own question, shooting a glance over his shoulder as he neared the office’s exit. “My actions are as you order them to be. If you still would like a guide while on Yamatai’s surface, I am available or am alternately able to schedule a commercial escort for your use.” The Geshrin did not forget what he’d told Shizuka about being beside her during her first trip to a planet’s surface–he had been looking forward to it. Now, however, the Shosa was unsure if either he or the Taisa would be able to enjoy their planned journey.
"Maybe you’re right; maybe I was programmed without such emotions..." Shizuka said, feeling again the remorse for her creation. Her vision averted off to the side, unable to look him in the eyes at this point. With a solid expression on her Nekovalkyrjan features she didn't flinch or show any more weakness while in front of Nicholas, using her brave face which she used to hide her emotions with to the world. There had only been two people in her life she had shown her deepest feelings to, one of them was dead and the other stood in the office about to exit on her. She sat straight with most of her shattered composure restored and looked him in the eyes with a firm gaze, but so much emotion shuttering behind it. "You are free to do as you feel fit, Saiga-shosa," Shizuka said with an official tone, now giving him the orders to do as he wished with his leave time.
The Geshrin Shosa had a quick reply, having been dwelling on the comments that had hurt him so. “If that is your order, I will not accompany you to Yamatai, but remain on the Senbu. A member of the ship’s administration should be present to oversee the repairs,” he said, his voice still showing small signs of weakness despite his best efforts. “When you decide that my strength and wisdom are worthy of your service,” Nicholas stated, using the principles with which she had criticized him to offer his point of view, “I will return to your side.” He would linger in his place at the chamber’s threshold as he waited her response.
The Captain had enough of this; she wanted him out of the office more than ever now. She was on the verge of tears, but yet it did not show. At that moment she felt as if she could never show her weakness to him again. "You may continue your previous preparations for your leave; I have no plans on going to any planet's surface anymore," she said rather fast, as this point her fingertips were pressing burses into her own arms as she fought back her own feelings.
Nicholas’ trembling hands wrapped around themselves into fists when he heard what the Nekovalkyrja had to say, his jaw clenching down tightly as his eyes began to appear more glossy with the pain behind them becoming unbearable. He turned to face the Taisa. “Why are you doing this, Shizuka? Why now?” he yelped angrily, the last bit of restraint keeping his voice stable falling away. “What is it that can I give to you when you so quickly reject all that I am worth?”
Shizuka's dams could not hold, that was it, they broke and so did she. The Captain stood to her feet and slammed both fists into the desk, making a very loud, resounding slam. "Is it too much humility for a straightforward ‘I'm sorry?’" The Neko's body trembled now as tears filled her eyes, she couldn't hold back long enough for him to leave, it was all out now. "You dance around the subject, talk about supporting me and yet you have never uttered the words ‘I'm sorry,’ let alone let me know that you feel the same as I do." Shizuka brought up a fist and pushed a tear from her eye before it had a chance to run down her cheek.
“I have nothing to be sorry for!” Nicholas snapped, sweeping a hand from left to right in front of him as he spoke. “I did not seek you out, Shizuka. I did plan for any of this when I was assigned to the Senbu. My service on your ship should have consisted of my dutiful execution of my position and little else. You’re the one who created this situation,” he said bitterly, his own tears falling silently down his face. “You’re the one that made me love you,” he finished, unaware that he’d let his internal monologue slip aloud as he spoke it.
Shizuka tensed up as he snapped back, letting his personal view sink into her mind. She walked around the table now and stood only a few paces from his position. The mixed feelings in her eyes were a Molotov cocktail of anger and sorrow in a volatile bundle waiting to explode. "Fine, then I should apologize... I didn't mean for any of this to happen. Saiga Nicholas, I didn't mean to disgrace you so much for making you fall for a machine like me, and I offer my sincerest apologizes for impairing your duty to the Empire." She bowed before him, the tears, like falling stars, twinkled to the red carpet below. "I am very sorry Nick," she said, with sobs and a quivering tone that she hated herself for speaking in, but could not stabilize to anything else.
“How can you say any of this?” the Shosa asked in agony, still convinced that he held the advantage of truth on his side. “Now that you have heard the words that you so wanted to hear, I have given you everything that I can except for the sacrifice of my family’s name. I have never said anything intended to hurt you, only stated fact, and yet you continue to rend my soul with what you tell me.” He stepped closer to the Taisa, so near that his towering form bared over the small Nekovalkyrja captain. “All I want now is your happiness and success. It consumes me, but still you refuse it,” the Geshrin said in a softer, but still unstable and shaky voice as he placed a hand under the Taisa’s flowing, sandy mane and onto her neck. “Why?”
"You don't understand do you?" Shizuka said out of sheer shock for his pompous ignorance, "have you ever considered my own feelings with any of these facts?" She stood back up with the most perplexed look on her face, ever. "If you love me so much that it pains you, then how much effort does it take for you to apologize when you know you've said something wrong?" Shizuka asked him, lifting his hand from her neck and placing it on her chest above her heart. "Be more careful in the future when stating facts, this here is fragile... and it's yours now, so you better take better care of it!" she said, of course referencing her heart, which was steadily beating hemosynthetic fluid throughout her body.
It was true, Nicholas didn’t understand–didn’t understand that his words sometimes inadvertently insulted or hurt her. Even with her explanation, he didn’t fully grasp why she acted so hurt in reaction to things he’d said, now and in times past. To him, only the intent behind words mattered, not how they were received, however, Shizuka’s calmed behavior was not something to be wasted. “I will be more mindful of these things, Shizuka-denka,” he acknowledged, using the improper honorific, as he did from time to time, to elevate her as high as he could. “Thank you, Taisa. I don’t know what I would have done if this had ended any other way,” the Shosa said truthfully, wrapping his arms around her body in a warm, affectionate embrace.
Shizuka shirked up against his larger form, taking this time to finally let words go and just release all the emotions she held up to this point. His arms were so welcoming that she could not help but just let herself slip away from the world around her. This was the first vacation she'd have in the long three and a half years of her life; not only was it a time for her to enjoy time away but would allow her to let go of the stress she had built up working to this point... to the same level as her older sister. "You’re such a dummy, Koibito..." Shizuka murmured cutely between sobs, punching a weak and soft hit against his larger chest as she finally got some relief in hitting him, no matter how small it was.
END
Meanwhile, still stuck on the Aries Starbase; Shizuka and Nicholas had finished the more private parts of their classified meeting and now were now about to start discussing topics the Taisa had set aside for the future of the Senbu. "Well, Shosa..." she Lioness started with his rank, once again, speaking playfully in her pride of his new standing. "The first order of business," she paused grinning happily before correcting herself, "Rather, the second order of business, is to decide how we will deal with these pirates."
It overjoyed the Geshrin Shosa to see his Taisa so happy, even as they began to speak seriously, glad for his part in contributing to her jubilant manner, and smiled widely at her correction. “We go where command orders us to go, Shizuka,” Nicholas answered her plainly, saying the words as if there were no other answer, somewhat dodging the question with what he told her. “If they provide you with the tools to confront the pirates we faced and the orders to destroy them, then that is what we shall do.” He paused for a moment, searching for how to answer her more directly. “If we are given that opportunity,” he said at last, remembering something that he’d heard some of the older men in his family say, “a frontal attack would be the most honorable course of action.”
Shizuka nodded, as she then pulled a data pad from the corner of her desk with her finger tip. "Well, I plan on putting in the request for an additional ship or two, ones we could use as escorts and for strategically bolstering our fighting capability." Shizuka brought up a list of things that were listed up for topics of discussion. "We'll have to make a decision on the two we would want by the end of the day, but it seems there's another issue we have to address while we're here. It seems the newly-ranked Taii Kameko Izuki would like to make a personal request. I've sent a message to her telling her it'd be fine if we did that now." Shizuka called up the Yamataian’s profile and stared at it curiously. "I wonder what she would want to ask..."
“She is a good officer and beyond worth on the bridge. Whatever her request is shouldn’t be a problem,” Nicholas said in reaction to Izuki’s apparent petition. The Geshrin Shosa’s still-wandering and surreal thoughts eventually rested on the matter what ships would be added to the Senbu’s company–what would make up Commodore Shizuka’s little flotilla. He’d served on many ships throughout his career, and had personally commanded a Ketsueki-class frigate briefly. One ship stuck out in his mind as exemplary, however. The YSS Mikomi, or rather the Nozomi-class Scout ship. It was small, fast, and effective and precisely what they would require for what the Taisa described. He made a note of his thoughts on his data pad as he waited for Shizuka to continue with the current matter of Kameko-taii’s request.
Shizuka's concentration lifted to the door as it called for attention, meaning that the Taii had arrived. "Come in," the Taisa called out to the Yamataian, who then proceeded to do so. The rather tall Yamataian woman with long, straight black hair stepped into the room promptly and stood formally within five paces of the officers. She bowed her head orderly before the two and then waited to be addressed before speaking. "Kameko-taii, it's good to see you with such a fitting promotion. I hear you have a request of me, I hope it's nothing too dire; what can I do for you?" Shizuka asked, after, of course, returning the bow ceremoniously before speaking.
Nicholas nodded courteously to Izuki in response to the formalities that she flawlessly presented to him and Shizuka. “Yes, congratulations on your elevation to Taii, Kameko-san,” Nicholas told her. The Yamataian had served him well on the bridge while he was in command, so he didn’t object to her promotion in the slightest. He contemplated what her request to Shizuka would be with anticipation; whatever it was that she wanted was probably deserved.
"Thank you, Endo-taisa and Saiga-shosa," she said with a small smile as she pleasantly enjoyed the praise. But it was not for long; she stepped forward and presented a data pad and placed it on the desk. "Though I would enjoy spending more time with the Senbu, I believe that if I am to honor my name and my ancestors, my path is not with the Senbu. I have caught word that a new squadron of warships is forming and I consider myself worthy of commanding a ship for the Empire. Again, this request isn't rooted in any ill will towards any part of the Senbu or its crew. I just think that, because of the nature of this future project, I can rise up to a higher potential to give so much more to the Empire as well as my clan." Izuki bowed her head once more and awaited their answers.
At first Nicholas disapproved, his face showing a sour expression as she began speaking her request. However, that quickly went away as Izuki explained her position. The Shosa hated that she was asking this, but could not disagree with her reasoning; until recently, every one of his actions were dedicated solely to the Empire, his family, and his ancestors–not that still did not hold the utmost reverence for these things. “I see,” the Geshrin said dourly. “There is no valid reason I have to object to what you ask, however, the decision is Endo-taisa’s.”
At this point, Shizuka was a little surprised, but not shocked as she glanced to Nicholas with a despairing frown. She knew that something along these lines would most likely be the topic, but mainly because she thought that the Yamataian girl didn't enjoy her station. "Your efficiency and abilities are beyond what any commander could want; I'm very reluctant to let you go," Shizuka said rather frankly as she picked up the data pad and quickly skimmed it over, then handed it over to Nick. "But, I do agree Kameko-taii," the Lioness said with a gradual nod. "You could most definitely gain plenty prestige with a station such as that, and I believe you’d make a fierce commanding officer." The Taisa crossed her arms and sat back looking over the Taii with a disappointed expression. "Kameko Izuki, you have my permission to honorably withdraw your services from the YSS Senbu, but with one condition," Shizuka waited a moment for the suspense to settle in, she took a small bit of pleasure in watching the Taii flinch as she awaited the condition, "you have to make a glorious name for yourself and come back to me when I get my own fleet," Shizuka grinned happily, winking at Nick after the mention of becoming a flag officer.
Taking the data pad when it was handed off to him, Nicholas noted the Taisa’s decision on Izuki’s file when it had been made. “Thank you for your service. You were invaluable to me during the last few battles, Kameko-taii,” he said, standing up from his seat to give her a proper bow. “May the fortunes and kami protect you, and let us one day serve together again,” the Geshrin said in compliment. “When Endo-taisa gets her own fleet, of course,” he added, sounding as serious as he’d been throughout the moment, inwardly intending sarcasm as he found Shizuka’s visions of grandeur extremely amusing.
Izuki returned the bow at the hip this time, deeply and respectfully bowing to the administrative members of the Senbu. That's when she noticed something a little off, a bunched up article of clothing by the legs of the chairs in front of the desk. She stayed bowed for a moment longer, as she stared long and hard to try and defuse what it could be. Then, her head quickly rose up as she quickly figured out what it was; she could even feel a blush coming on. So the rumors were true! she thought internally. And to think she had fought against those rumors for the vanity of her superiors! "Well, then, um–I would also like to request letters of recommendation from the both of you. But, I should be off now... if you could send them to me soon that would be very good. I should go pack, if you’d excuse me," she said her last bit rather hurried and seemed a little flustered towards the end. Soon after a nod from Shizuka, she was out the door.
The Shosa sat back down after Izuki departed the office, not paying much mind to her odd change of demeanor. “So, Taisho Shizuka-taisa,” Nicholas said, mocking the Nekovalkyrja now that they were alone again, “Will your fleet be ready for battle before or after the Mishhuvurthyar return to threaten the Empire?” He knew that the Taisa was an ambitious servant of Yamatai, but was unaware of this particular aspiration. It wasn’t that it was an unattainable goal that so humored the Geshrin, it was that she sounded so confident and sure of its inevitability.
Shizuka glanced sharply at Nicholas with a dagger glare, then refolded her arms and leaned back in her chair, glancing off through the door. "I was merely being friendly with the Taii, Saiga-san. But as for my aspirations, I can only dream of going so high. I'm a Nekovalkyrja, the root of the word being Valkyrie; I am a battle maiden whom can only rise to glory... or fall trying." Shizuka spoke grimly of her reality, but had accepted it long ago when it was her adoptive sister who had fallen to such a fate. "Though if the SMX do return, I will be one of the first ones in the front lines, fighting to take away much more then they have stolen from me." Her dark mood went from wistful to contained anger in a single sentence. It seemed he had struck a very sore spot with the Taisa.
“You should not speak in such forlorn terms, Shizuka. Such gloom doesn’t become you,” Nicholas told her in an attempt to change the course that his joking had directed the conversation on. “Glory will be yours, I have no doubt of that,” he encouraged, “and you will not fall in any regard–on the battlefield or otherwise–while I remain in your company.” Although he had no such goals similar to his Taisa’s, Nicholas was still greatly motivated by the prospect of rising to be her second when she achieved her target. “I will endeavor to support you in any way that I can, Shizuka. Everything I can do will be done to ensure that Kameko-taii has to return to us in expedient time,” he said sincerely. “As our Empire’s honored anthem says: let the moments of our future be greater than those passed.”
"Such promises seem rather ambitious for one who has never taken a life in close combat. How can you promise to defend me when you have just begun your own path of blood?" Shizuka spoke back out of spite, still sore from his previous comment. "Our anthem also includes the verse “our strength and wisdom put to use.” Perhaps you should gain the wisdom of face to face combat before deciding to put to use your strength in my defense. If you don't your promises may be just as empty as a politician's." The ferocity of the Red Lion returned to her, feeling a swell of anger start again deep inside which just piled up with his comments before.
Nicholas found himself unable to say anything in reply to Shizuka. What the Geshrin said was always sincere, whether they carried the truth or not, but what he’d just told the Taisa were words that he’d intended to keep. He shrank into his chair slightly as a great empty feeling made itself strong in his chest, a trembling hand coming to rest over the lower part of his face. “I recommend that you consider the Nozomi-class Scout when looking into escort vessels for our future missions, Endo-taisa,” Nicholas said, rising from his place at the desk, picking up his data pad as he went. The Geshrin wouldn’t be able to erect himself with proper posture, standing in a slouch as if a heavy weight were hung over the back of his neck. “If you would excuse me, Taisa, I must prepare for the leave that you have most graciously grated to myself and this crew. I will be in my quarters on the Senbu if you require my services,” he stated as he walked slowly towards the compartment’s door, his serious, official tone faltering at certain syllables that he would normally have spoken perfectly. “Good day to you, Taisa.”
"So you plan on leaving without me?" Shizuka raised a brow to his mention of preparing for his leave. If he answered yes, it only meant that he would be the very politician she accused him of being. ‘I can travel with you and show you around any planet that you ask me to, but I can never bring you into my home...’ His words still echoed loudly in her head. She had longed for their trip together to see the capital homeworld she had been fighting since birth to protect. But if he planned on going forward, then she wasn't going to stop him. Though with each of his steps she could already feel the emotional turmoil mix in a chaotic mess; what was anger towards his words before soon became pain and amalgamated into something much worse.
“I am unsure if you are able to comprehend the emotion, Taisa…” Nicholas began in a momentary lapse of his charade, stopping himself from saying any more of that particular thought as he quickly analyzed its connotations. “Do you wish me to, Endo-taisa?” he asked in direct response to Shizuka’s own question, shooting a glance over his shoulder as he neared the office’s exit. “My actions are as you order them to be. If you still would like a guide while on Yamatai’s surface, I am available or am alternately able to schedule a commercial escort for your use.” The Geshrin did not forget what he’d told Shizuka about being beside her during her first trip to a planet’s surface–he had been looking forward to it. Now, however, the Shosa was unsure if either he or the Taisa would be able to enjoy their planned journey.
"Maybe you’re right; maybe I was programmed without such emotions..." Shizuka said, feeling again the remorse for her creation. Her vision averted off to the side, unable to look him in the eyes at this point. With a solid expression on her Nekovalkyrjan features she didn't flinch or show any more weakness while in front of Nicholas, using her brave face which she used to hide her emotions with to the world. There had only been two people in her life she had shown her deepest feelings to, one of them was dead and the other stood in the office about to exit on her. She sat straight with most of her shattered composure restored and looked him in the eyes with a firm gaze, but so much emotion shuttering behind it. "You are free to do as you feel fit, Saiga-shosa," Shizuka said with an official tone, now giving him the orders to do as he wished with his leave time.
The Geshrin Shosa had a quick reply, having been dwelling on the comments that had hurt him so. “If that is your order, I will not accompany you to Yamatai, but remain on the Senbu. A member of the ship’s administration should be present to oversee the repairs,” he said, his voice still showing small signs of weakness despite his best efforts. “When you decide that my strength and wisdom are worthy of your service,” Nicholas stated, using the principles with which she had criticized him to offer his point of view, “I will return to your side.” He would linger in his place at the chamber’s threshold as he waited her response.
The Captain had enough of this; she wanted him out of the office more than ever now. She was on the verge of tears, but yet it did not show. At that moment she felt as if she could never show her weakness to him again. "You may continue your previous preparations for your leave; I have no plans on going to any planet's surface anymore," she said rather fast, as this point her fingertips were pressing burses into her own arms as she fought back her own feelings.
Nicholas’ trembling hands wrapped around themselves into fists when he heard what the Nekovalkyrja had to say, his jaw clenching down tightly as his eyes began to appear more glossy with the pain behind them becoming unbearable. He turned to face the Taisa. “Why are you doing this, Shizuka? Why now?” he yelped angrily, the last bit of restraint keeping his voice stable falling away. “What is it that can I give to you when you so quickly reject all that I am worth?”
Shizuka's dams could not hold, that was it, they broke and so did she. The Captain stood to her feet and slammed both fists into the desk, making a very loud, resounding slam. "Is it too much humility for a straightforward ‘I'm sorry?’" The Neko's body trembled now as tears filled her eyes, she couldn't hold back long enough for him to leave, it was all out now. "You dance around the subject, talk about supporting me and yet you have never uttered the words ‘I'm sorry,’ let alone let me know that you feel the same as I do." Shizuka brought up a fist and pushed a tear from her eye before it had a chance to run down her cheek.
“I have nothing to be sorry for!” Nicholas snapped, sweeping a hand from left to right in front of him as he spoke. “I did not seek you out, Shizuka. I did plan for any of this when I was assigned to the Senbu. My service on your ship should have consisted of my dutiful execution of my position and little else. You’re the one who created this situation,” he said bitterly, his own tears falling silently down his face. “You’re the one that made me love you,” he finished, unaware that he’d let his internal monologue slip aloud as he spoke it.
Shizuka tensed up as he snapped back, letting his personal view sink into her mind. She walked around the table now and stood only a few paces from his position. The mixed feelings in her eyes were a Molotov cocktail of anger and sorrow in a volatile bundle waiting to explode. "Fine, then I should apologize... I didn't mean for any of this to happen. Saiga Nicholas, I didn't mean to disgrace you so much for making you fall for a machine like me, and I offer my sincerest apologizes for impairing your duty to the Empire." She bowed before him, the tears, like falling stars, twinkled to the red carpet below. "I am very sorry Nick," she said, with sobs and a quivering tone that she hated herself for speaking in, but could not stabilize to anything else.
“How can you say any of this?” the Shosa asked in agony, still convinced that he held the advantage of truth on his side. “Now that you have heard the words that you so wanted to hear, I have given you everything that I can except for the sacrifice of my family’s name. I have never said anything intended to hurt you, only stated fact, and yet you continue to rend my soul with what you tell me.” He stepped closer to the Taisa, so near that his towering form bared over the small Nekovalkyrja captain. “All I want now is your happiness and success. It consumes me, but still you refuse it,” the Geshrin said in a softer, but still unstable and shaky voice as he placed a hand under the Taisa’s flowing, sandy mane and onto her neck. “Why?”
"You don't understand do you?" Shizuka said out of sheer shock for his pompous ignorance, "have you ever considered my own feelings with any of these facts?" She stood back up with the most perplexed look on her face, ever. "If you love me so much that it pains you, then how much effort does it take for you to apologize when you know you've said something wrong?" Shizuka asked him, lifting his hand from her neck and placing it on her chest above her heart. "Be more careful in the future when stating facts, this here is fragile... and it's yours now, so you better take better care of it!" she said, of course referencing her heart, which was steadily beating hemosynthetic fluid throughout her body.
It was true, Nicholas didn’t understand–didn’t understand that his words sometimes inadvertently insulted or hurt her. Even with her explanation, he didn’t fully grasp why she acted so hurt in reaction to things he’d said, now and in times past. To him, only the intent behind words mattered, not how they were received, however, Shizuka’s calmed behavior was not something to be wasted. “I will be more mindful of these things, Shizuka-denka,” he acknowledged, using the improper honorific, as he did from time to time, to elevate her as high as he could. “Thank you, Taisa. I don’t know what I would have done if this had ended any other way,” the Shosa said truthfully, wrapping his arms around her body in a warm, affectionate embrace.
Shizuka shirked up against his larger form, taking this time to finally let words go and just release all the emotions she held up to this point. His arms were so welcoming that she could not help but just let herself slip away from the world around her. This was the first vacation she'd have in the long three and a half years of her life; not only was it a time for her to enjoy time away but would allow her to let go of the stress she had built up working to this point... to the same level as her older sister. "You’re such a dummy, Koibito..." Shizuka murmured cutely between sobs, punching a weak and soft hit against his larger chest as she finally got some relief in hitting him, no matter how small it was.
END
