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Approved Submission [ERSETU] Defiance class 2nd Rate Line of Battle Ship

Gunsight1

Gunsight1

Potato Salad
fetch.php


Submission Type: Starship and associated technology
Submission URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=faction:kishargal:ships:warships:defiance_class_2nd_rate
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=faction:kishargal:weapons:36_inch_laser_cannon
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=faction:kishargal:weapons:24_inch_ion_cannon
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=faction:kishargal:weapons:36_inch_laser_shell
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=faction:kishargal:weapons:24_inch_ion_shell

Faction: Constitutional Dominion of Ersetu
FM Approved Yet? (Yes/No; Who, When) Yes, me, now
Faction requires art? (Yes/No) No

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles? (Yes/No) yes, linked above
Contains New art? (Yes/No) Yes
Previously Submitted? (Yes/No; explain reason if rejected) no

Notes: Paging @Ametheliana or @CadetNewb
 
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How tall is each deck?

"four torus type(see Tokamak) fusion reactor" (What is a torus type? A Tokamak?)

"a eight of generators" (I don't understand this statement.)

"search radars in her atop her dorsal" (I think you don't need her atop in this sentence, but I don't know.)

"Lively class carry 120 tube" (You need to say can carry.)

Will do weapons soon but for now this is just my review for the ship itself.
 
Okay! Weapons!

You don't like the Constitutional Dominion of Ersetu but you do link the Navy (unapproved) in the cannon articles.

Link the shells earlier in the article as well as in the bulleted list.

36 Inch Laser Cannon: " LIDAR guidence from " (guidance)

Why is the 24 inch a higher tier than the 36? Why is the 36 less expensive than the 24?

Can you explain reconditioning in the articles?

Sorry it took me a hot minute! I wanted to fully invest myself into being able to take them on!
 
I remember we'd had a conversation about the weapons back on the Lively class and if I remember right, and I think I do, since this is how the weapons are on that ship, that the Ion cannons are more powerful than the laser cannons. The Lively's 10 inch ions being Tier 11, compared to the 10 inch lasers being Tier 8, so I was carrying that theme over to the larger weapons, with 24 inch ion cannon being probably the largest version of the weapon for shipboard use. I can change the numbers to be 36 inch ion cannon if its too confusing.

Will make the other fixes shortly
 
No it's not too confusing. Keep it! That's funny I had the same problem twice but have such bad memory that I forgot the initial resolution!
 
The DOGA artworks for those cannons are really good looking.
 
RPG-D RPGfix
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