Tony Lothcar
Inactive Member
Uso Tasuki said:Your history is good, I wouldn't change it if I were you. Adding anything more will likely keep your character from being approved.
Kotori said:The mother teaching him about advanced stuff is a bit farfetched to me - however, going to biology class at school and having a mother that can help out does help (parents have to earn a living, so you have to go to school! XD )
Tony Lothcar said:Distinguishing Features: The combination of his dark blue eyes and black hair give him a very intense outlook.
Kotori said:Try putting in a few ENTER presses to space your paragraphs, it'll make a more pleasant read. ^_^
Kotori said:Additionally, it was my feeling that the history, as it was told, suited more a 2-years old nekovalkyrja in it's terseness than a 19-years old geshrin. The bare bones of the history could be okay, and even if it's size is doubled to two paragraphs, it should still be 'compact' enough. Some details about a character's origins can really strengthen the whole package.
Take, for example, Tom Freeman. He's a geshrin, grew up on Yamatai in a snowy hamlet called Ralt (I think). Just these little bits contributed to much expanding his character and so, I do think that if could be worth it to revisit the history and try detailing it a bit. You look like a decent enough writer Tony, so, I'm sure you'll be able to come up with something surprisingly nice if you devote some more thought to it.
Uso Tasuki said:Just ignore Doshii Jun, play whatever you want to.
Doshii Jun said:Fear my journo-speak, damn you. SOFT RETURN POWER.
Does that mean since the yamataians have a choise of either human or neko ears that it would be in my best interest to get the neko ones? (plus it would add some interesting rp with a male that has neko ears XD)The Nekovalkyrja's distinctive ears are more than just fuzzy and cute : they are sensitive, can move to perceive sounds in three dimensions and even their small hairs can help gauge wind speed and humidity.
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