Approved Submission G1-NI, "Geist" neural implant

@Arbitrated , ok, here is the edited article for resubmission.

Okay let's see how this looks... Checklist incoming.

This review is for: Project Warlord with URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:faction:uso:skyguard:project_warlord

The submitted article is/has…
[ ] A very high level of overall quality
[ ] A general topic sentence under the title header
[ ] Artwork (Required for new species; Strongly recommended for vehicles and hand weapons)
[ ] Needed and/or useful to the setting
[N] In the proper format/template
[ ] Proofread for spelling and grammar
[ ] Easy to read and understand (not a lengthy mass of technobabble)
[ ] Wikified (terms that could be a link should be a link)
[ ] No red and/or broken links
[ ] Reasonably scientifically plausible
[ ] Reasonably neutral point of view
The submitted article is/does not…
[ ] Overpowered (or cutting tech for a faction with little or no roleplay)
[ ] Obtusely redundant
[ ] Contain copy pasta descriptions of systems or interior compartments
[ ] Unauthorized by faction managers or player-controlled corporation
[ ] Contain references to IC events that have not occurred (SM must authorize retcons)
[Y] Use second-person language (“you” or “your”) unless it is an instructional guide aimed at players.
[ ] Use bombastic language (“virtually immune,” “nearly indestructible,” “insanely powerful,” “horrible effects”)
[ ] Use an unbalanced header/text ratio (many headers but sections are one-liners)
[ ] Use major unapproved sub-articles that should be submitted separately
[Y] Lacking Detail
[ ] Images hosted on sites other than stararmy.com (Photobucket, Imageshack, etc are not allowed)
The article has…
[ ] Speeds in compliance with the Starship Speed Standard, if applicable
[ ] Damage Capacity and Damage Ratings in compliance with the DR Guidelines
[ ] The in-character year of creation/manufacture. (Should be current year. Future years not allowed).
[ ] The Standard Product Nomenclature System, if applicable.

To the submitter: Is this a refit or overhaul of a previous article? If yes, provide a link and a list of changes.
Don't worry about that^^

Notes: For each bracket that does have a Y or N that is the statement that is not in compliance with the checklist.

Things like "[Experimental]" need to be taken out of brackets and be put in sub headers maybe with three to four = on either side depending on the header above it.

It lacks detail in that appearance needs text and Display needs to be fleshed out more.

It says "your" at least and that is not allowed. Look for you and your and cut them.

I intend to finish this review by: Once Arbs comes into the thread.

I did some edits, added details and text to appearance as well as display, but I couldn't find where it says your in the article.

It is in experimental, which needs to be capitalized if it's a title.

Same with "More About project Warlord" Project needs to have a capital P

will fix immediatley

In Functions some of the bulleted list items are lower case, too. Capitalize those.

on it

@Ametheliana can I get another reviewer?

Sure

@CadetNewb here is the submission

Sure, let me take a look at it.

Alright, looking over this, I think you'll have to reorganize it. Though it's titled "Project Warlord", this article appears to be about the project's product or creation, rather than the project itself. We have a few options I think. If you want, you can simply refer to Project Warlord in passing here, with the article instead being focused on the implant that resulted from the project. If you'd like to do things that way, I won't require you to submit the Project's article, and just have your focus here be on the implant.

Can I just rename the page to the product, as the this was meant to be the only product, and I'll need the item for an upcoming RP? @CadetNewb

Yeah, go ahead and rename the article to just what it is. Besides that, you don't need to list out any of that nomenclature stuff like Designer, Nomenclature and Size. I think you'll need to rearrange the order that stuff appears though, since it looks like it's rather non-standard unless there was some sort of new template approved and I didn't notice. Usually, the appearance is right after the about section. I recommend you summarize what the implant does overall with brief bullet points, though, make sure to use the actual bullet points in the toolbar.

If you do that, you can go into detail on all the features under the 'Functions' section rather than having those bullet points there, and integrate both 'Experimental' and 'Safety Alert' into it as subsections if you need to. You don't have to do things strictly like this, but so long as the end result looks good.

@CadetNewb I shifted some stuff around and added the general purpose bullets, as for the designer and nomenclature. Arbitrated had told me I needed those, so I'm not sure on those.

If you're able, relink your original post? It'll make it a little more convenient for me, that's all. Regarding the nomenclature though, it's only given to things that it's applicable for, and is not necessarily used by all companies in all factions. Historically, it's the system used by Ketsurui Zaibatsu, and most simply tend to follow. Here, this is not only an implant - which may not be covered - but it's also experimental, if I understand correctly. You can safely do without it.

With the 'Functions' section of the article, since things are already neatly bulleted up in the 'About' section to summarize, you can now go into depth and write about the features normally, doing away with those bullet points down there. I think 'Safety Alert' can be simply brought into the 'Functions' section since it's only a single sentence. Meanwhile, 'Experimental' can be renamed 'Tech Control', with both it and 'Display' being equally sized subsections under 'Functions'. You just need to use four = signs for them rather than 5.

@CadetNewb if your referring to the original setting submission thread I can't find it, it seems to have been removed.

Oh no, that's not it. Since you renamed this submission, the link you originally gave in your OP here, in this thread, no longer works. I can find your submission in the wiki of course, but it's just a minor inconvenience, that's all. I believe this is the current one?