Approved Submission [Galactic Horizon] Custom Model 006 Sky Tracers

[SirSkully]

Submission URL

https://stararmy.com/wiki/doku.php?id=corp:galactic_horizon:gh-g15-7h_sky_tracers

Submission Faction(s)

1. Neshaten
2. NDC

Submission Terms

1. I agree

@Jack Pine for S6 approval
@club24 for Neshy approval because I'm still waiting for you to setup the co-fm thing lol

 

[Jack Pine]

FM APPROVED

 

[Ametheliana]

Please add these links where you first mention "CAD" and "EVA":

[[wp>Computer-aided design]]

[[wp>Extravehicular activity]]

When describing turning them on and off, you wrote, "...to deactivate the inertial manipulation drives." This leads me to believe the inertial drives are more integral than the aether generators and should be described in more detail. Presently "inert" is only mentioned three times in the article and there's no link to the intertial drives.
Origin mentions one here:
"Inertia Drive: Though not strong enough to propel the ship, an inertia control system has been installed in the Swordbreaker. Using this system the pilot can have fine control of the direction of the ship's inertia, enabling the ship to change it's course very easily and quickly. A skillful enough pilot can use this not just for turning but for unconventional maneuvers such as strafing."
I just quoted you to give you an idea of how you can quickly and easily write about what makes it go without a huge level of detail.

When you said "formfactor" did you mean this meaning of the two word phrase "form factor"?:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Form_factor_(design)

The first paragraph of "Usage" could be multiple sentences.

This is the last unfinished sentence of the article:
"...step out to remove the bo"

I also think the URL or title might be off, but GH has always flip flopped with URL and titles, so let me know in this thread if it's in line with what GH does usually or if you think you do need to change it.

Please fix these things up and I'll give these cool custom boots another look. Thank you.

 

[club24]

The link and title are correct, gh hasn’t flip flopped with links, that title is how the custom models are titled and the other 5 are all the same

 

[Ametheliana]

Thank you, club, noted.

 

[club24]

now that i've finally had time to sit down and properly look at these I will FM Approve them as well although I have a few points just for consideration.

in the table at the top perhaps replace groups using with something more precise as its one person, im assuming its probably a table you've used with other subs before so figured might just point it out

and secondly just a personal note but tier 3 seems a little high for what are essentially Hermes winged shoes, while it is made of durandium i doubt you'd want a boot to be 1cm thick metal, not only is it heavy but the rigid form may inadvertently become an issue even thought they are custom made

finally, yes you guessed it i did a long squint at the aether gen in them. I'd like to first clarify I am not prohibiting the use of such tech in GH nor am I telling you to swap it in this post, I just think that there would be other options instead of going for what i consider to be the easy option.

Anyway none of my points will prevent me from approving this they're just for consideration, other than that Ame feel free to move to checklist if you are indeed reviewing it otherwise whoever else wants to pick it up, approval is all done.

 

[FrostJaeger]

@SirSkully - will review this in a couple of hours after I file some insurance paperwork IRL.

 

[SirSkully]

@Ametheliana pretty sure all the points you brought up have now been corrected in some manner.

@club24 the Aether comment you made is entirely pointless, the "There are other options" thing can literally be applied to anything made thus far - so please only stick to feedback that is just that, actual feedback, rather than simply saying there are other options. I specifically chose Aether because I wanted there to be a trail of some sort when the boots were used (simply for aesthetics), due to how powerful and limitless aether is I chose that instead of some power supply system with limitations that would make the glowy thing just a way to drain power quicker.

But anyway, sheet has hopefully been fixed now.

@FrostJaeger no worries.

 

[Alex Hart]

Aesthetic AF.

 

[SirSkully]

Y E E T

 

[FrostJaeger]

Hello! Let's see if this submission meets the requirements for inclusion in Star Army's lore...

[ ] 1. The destination URL should be a page in the appropriate namespace and titled lower_case_with_underscores.
[ ] 2. The article is in the appropriate format and article template.
[ ] 3. The article follows our wiki style guidelines, including: No forced line breaks, text after each section header, etc.
[ ] 4. The article is easily read and free of errors in spelling and grammar.
[ ] 5. Links to other wiki articles are present as appropriate.
[ ] 6. The article fits into the Star Army universe's space opera theme and technology levels.
[ N/A ] 7. Images in the article are hosted on Star Army's wiki and sourced responsibly (contact Wes privately if there's a concern).
[ ] 8. The article is original and doesn't contain copy-pasted content from other articles.
[ ] 9. The article complies with Star Army's rules in terms of damage ratings, speed limits, etc.
[ ] 10. The Faction Manager(s), if applicable, have posted approval for this article in this thread.

Status: Approved

Thanks again for submitting an article to the wiki! Time for some final steps for the reviewer...

[ ] 1. State clearly that the article is approved in the submission thread
[ ] 2. Move the wiki article to its permanent (destination) location on the wiki
[ ] 3. Move the submission thread to the Approved Submissions subforum or get a moderator to
[ ] 4. Edit the article to add a link to the approval thread in the OOC Notes section
[ ] 5. Link other articles to the approved article as appropriate (equipment lists, etc.)