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Gartagen Race

Far be it from me that I should criticize this, not being an actual tech/setting admin, but this just seems like 'humans, but more.'
 
I made several links that go with them detailing the large differences. But the links were unapproved and when making a submission you are not supposed to have unapproved links in the wiki-article, so.
 
As a side note plaid, the reason they are so "Human" is so that potential players can relate to them.

I was originally going to make a silicon based life form, but I highly doubt you or anybody else would want to play a sentient crystal.
 
Is their culture much different from ours? The detail I've read in the Article makes it seem like they're just an advanced Clan system like you would see in Japan a few hundred years ago.

Perhaps more detail on culture?

I'll come back this afternoon with better suggestions, when I can actually READ the dang thing.
 
I suggest linking the entire faction not just the race, what you have up here assumes that you have nothing planned for the race.

Even reading culture sounds like a human society.

Going though your pages I can't find much unique about the race, but then I say the same about the Iroma and Abwe, however they both have subtle gimmicks that allows you to recognize them.

Perhaps attempt to add the silicon life form idea? While newer players may not be able to figure out what it is without explanation, tech geeks might love it. Maybe they can somehow tame silicon life forms that exist on their planet? (Dune style =P)

Otherwise a Roman society (if I'm correct) would be a little unique to this setting.
 
They remind me a lot of kangaroos -- and the image you just gave me was a Kangaroo wearing robes and wielding a knife riding a big worm into battle :lol:

That aside, you could put up the entire bundle of Wiki articles for the faction/race.

Military, Culture, some Technology, Planetary Information, and even some Ship designs wouldn't go amiss.

While the Ship Designs might not be ready on your end, I'd think we'd need Military, Culture and some more Planetary Information.

Edit: I don't know if this will help, seeing as it is an NPC faction, but Nashoba's format for the Hidden Sun Clan is as good as any. Go ahead and check it out here.
 
The Hidden Sun Clan is an NPC faction now, but that does not mean it will always stay that way. Hence why I'm doing all the detail work. ;)
 
I would suggest running your articles through a spellcheck. I was finding grammar and spelling errors occasionally, reading some of the articles.

Also, regarding Gartagen Psyche, why make their emotions so intense? Being quick to anger I could understand.

Wiki Article

Unlike most of the other races their increased chemical out put allows them to reach levels of emotion that most other races could never under stand. Pleasure, pain, touch, anger and sorrow are some of the emotions that can reach extreme levels in a matter of seconds. The imprinting part of their psyche how ever is the one single barrier that allows them to manage their extremely potent emotional states. With out their ability to imprint, the society would no doubt collapse in a frenzied orgy of rape and murder.
Click to expand...

But what is 'intense'? You covered orgy, rape, and murder, but in many cases 'most other races' can -- and have -- descended to that level. Murder and rape are common in cities.

Would you mind explaining how they control these potent emotions better? I don't think they'd go around imprinting everyone they find.

*Warning: Another post written just after waking up.*
 
For the purposes of reviewing the Gartegens as a potential Player Character race, I will review each sub-article and examine the impact it would have on roleplayability, and also point out resemblances to other factions in the setting. Our goal with SARP is to enrich the setting with new content, not drown it out.

I will not review this as a conventional tech article, as race submissions are so radically different from those for starships and new weapon systems.

Stage 1: "Gartagen Physiology"

Digitigrade species aren't all that strange, I suppose, although I wonder why you didn't go further and give them non-human skin types or more alien features. Their current physiology is more evocative of Satyrs or the Christianized demons. Rather than any defined aesthetic, they seem to sit somewhere between the Tau, Fremen and Predators (of Ahh-nold movie fame). Having a clearer aesthetic when defining non-human races should be a big consideration, or they won't really be interesting or memorable.

Since you attempted to plagiarize the game in the past, you should take another look at Mass Effect. Each and every race in that setting is unique and memorable on its own, despite being entirely homebrewed by BioWare and not being directly based on any of our current alien mythos (i.e.: Grays, anything from Star Trek, the Wars, etc...).

In regards to performance... is there any environmental reason for the bones being denser? If they have more endurance than baseline humans, why do they have lower thresholds for pain?

And a final question. Isn't face to face lovemaking more difficult for digitigrades?

Stage 2: "Gartagen Culture and Psyche"

So politically, they're an oppressive police state that blankets mental indoctrination in 'honor code'? A lot of races seem to have this level of loyalty naturally, but you have the sand to actually say that this is done. This is pretty interesting, but may cause conflicts with other writings that you have.

Traditionally, societies that indoctrinate their members in such a profound manner do not foster creative thought or new ideologies very well. Thus, the statement that Gartagens are open-minded would be somewhat invalid, since they're indoctrinated to believe in the state no matter what, in spite of the good or ill that it does. They believe that the state is infallible and must be followed even if their conscience screams the opposite, because the mindset of the 'state first' overides those of morality. Childhood indoctrination (especially if you have some level of prowess in psychological techniques) is a powerful thing.

No personal computers (thus no free access to information) and no digital entertainment. Fair enough. Information technology is around the 1960's, then, or being hoarded by the government? The latter seems more likely, since you have powered armor and pre-FTL flight. It sounds a bit backwards, but since this is clearly a Statist regime, the citizens would hardly object.

Religion is a bit bland, to be honest. Part of the fun of saying that your race has a religion or several is writing about the ones that it has.

I also share SSharp's concerns on the emotions, although mine are more directed at the 'human but not but also more human than human' theme that I've been seeing with the grand majority of new player races. I'm a bit guilty of it, since I was the second to last PC race/faction to be approved, but you've made it rather complicated. Most of their expression is conveyed though scent and body language, the subtlety of which is lost on a majority of human beings. And then there's the issue of emotions.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xACbVe7o9Rs This is a lot of emotion. Notice how it's drowned out, and really fails to affect you?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_saUN4j7Gw Compared with this scene, where the characters don't express much more emotion than a big of pain and fear, but you can read so much more into it. Emotional subtlety is perhaps the only good way of conveying emotional depth.

From what I've seen, the Gartagens can only really feel extremes of emotion, which really has no proper way of being roleplayed. And again, looking at many good sci-fi settings... you're remark that alien races are rarely more emotional than humans, because most writers haven't the foggiest clue on how to write that without making a bipolar, schizophrenic mess. Psychological differences should be in the patterning (the way they think, they way they feel), not the scaling (how much they think, how much they feel).

From the remaining sub-sections, I've formed a pretty solid image of the Gartagens. They're rather close-minded, clannish and slavishly obedient to the whims of the state above them, although following a strong ethos in regards to their society. Because most of their behavior is decided by forces outside of themselves (familial bonding, sexual bonding, indoctrination, information restriction) there will probably be very little for a player to do, besides provide the voice to a puppet who is having their strings pulled by another person.

It doesn't seem to be very good material for a PC race, at least at this point. Any characters made would be quite uniform compared to Nepleslians, Yamataians, Lorath or Iromakuanhe... and even engineered soldier species like Nekovalkryja, since their parent nation encourages the creation of a unique identity.

I will post additional reviews in the immediate future.
 
Indeed. Thank you for the points you have made, I will indeed take your advice and elaborate more where needed.

I was thinking about making the skin the skin different. The facial features are indeed placed to make them easier to relate to. (Keeping in mind this is a work of science fiction, and there is no evidence of what an alien race will even look like)

Yes the Government does hoard the technology.

You are also assuming these people are humans, yest hey feel their government is infallible, but yes they do have a reason to express them selves. Granted A Gartagen will not have the amount of freedom as an Iroma. A Gartagen can openly disagree with "The Leader" but he will still help the leader even if he or she does not agree, simply because he is their leader. To be fair, exceptions are allowed.

On the topic of emotions, it is not they they feel JUST extremes, is they can be subtle and composed, the emotions are simply at a much wider range.

The reasons the emotions are much more intense are the result of a larger out put from the endocrine system, something I have listed.

But you do raise some good points Exhack, and so do you Mr. Sharp. I will be a bit more clear on the issues at hand.
 
Oh the religion, I am still thinking on it.

Also, some suggestions would be helpful.(I have looked at Mass Effect, the Asari appear almost entirely human.)
 
Except for the fact that there is no real sexuality in their race, they don't physically mate for procreation, and they have tentacle heads? Yes, they're very human. And he wasn't saying they can't be human, they just need something which completely sets them apart from humanity, so that they're not just effectively a subrace. Each of the races in Mass Effect is at least based on an aspect of humanity, but they all have at least one thing which completely sets them apart from humanity, aside from appearance.
 
Endurance and pain.

Considering that they are adapted for moving around in a desert and scavenging for as well as running down potential food sources, endurance is a must. The pain threshold is again a result of the increased endocrine output, everything has a trade off, no race should be perfect.

I have a request, for all those who have commented and placed in input. Please make suggestions.
 
Sorry, I have nothing for you. I suck at new races, sorry. I will say that it should be more major then that though. Endurance can be trained, and in some people/races is naturally higher anyway. Same goes for pain threshold. It's more of an actual biological difference that's needed. That's the impression I'm getting at least.
 
If I may be so bold as to contribute:

If you look at desert species on Earth, there aren't any that have "running down the prey" as a hunting tactic. That hunting tactic is specifically adapted for flat savanna environments. Desert species more often are fond of ambushing potential prey or lighting strikes that catch prey entirely unawares. Poison too. Any tactic that uses only a modicum of effort on the part of the hunter, as energy from food is a scarce resource. In essence think energy efficient: "How can I get that food with the least amount of effort on my part?". Hunt smarter! Not harder!

For an intelligent species I would suggest then looking to something similar to the wolves which sometimes inhabit desert areas such as Bryce Canyon, which the home planet seems reminiscent of. Complex ambush tactics, preferably of singular large prey, supplemented by smaller animals and plants. This would provide the needed social structure and cooperation needed for language and sentience to develop.

Now endurance is still needed, of course, but such extremes of endurance as the Gartagen seem to have is more commonly found in savanna predators such as lions and humans. Further, a low pain tolerance would be very disadvantageous in a desert environment. Even in non-sand deserts there is little in the way of sediment. Mostly craggy rocks, high winds that run unbroken (maybe even picking up pieces of rocks or dust), and what plants there are would be adapted to keep animals away from their precious water by being prickly or thorny. Again, looking at desert species, the reptiles tend to have tough scales to withstand the scraping, and other species have tough, leathery skin.

I know we had already talked about it last night, but I again suggest the obesity problem the race might have. Since desert dwelling species, including some human cultures, have a more efficient digestive system (to get the most out of what little they eat), a greater abundance of food sources, however encountered, would play havoc with their systems engendering a greater tendency towards morbid obesity no matter how athletic the race. Essentially the body still thinks its living in a food scarce desert and so stores everything, meaning that all "extra" food beyond what little their bodies are designed to use would be converted to fats for later use.

As for religion I would suggest Sun worship, possibly with a sun-moon duality. Deserts are places of great extremes between night and day. The sun scorches the land during the daylight hours, while the moon freezes it during the night. Even though most desert species are only active in twilight or early morning, I could imagine the Gartagens worshiping the Sun and Moon. With as much power as those two celestial bodies appear to have in deserts, it pays to have them on your side.
 
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