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Approved Submission [Horizon] Phoenix Fusion Generator

club24

Everything Is Magical
Submission Type: power source/energy generator
Template Used: same one as my propulsion system, that is to say none

Faction:
FM Approved Yet? Yes
Faction requires art? No

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles? No
Contains New art? No
Previously Submitted? No

Notes:
Made this almost compulsively as my creation motivation kicked in for a couple days despite being on a slight break from sarp, i plan to have this implemented into the horizon complex which was recently upgraded and was mentioned in the original thread for that.

I also plan for it to be useful in several vehicle and starship designs later but its not a micro engine or anything, and would only be able to power basic travel functions and onboard systems not ftl or giant death rays

Alao as atomic reactions go it would be very volatile if not controlled so if needed i can state it on there but i think we all know what happens when fusion gets out of control
 
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How does it dispose of waste heat? What maintenance do technician characters need to do on it?
 
Thanks wes I hadn't really thought of that, i think I'll write up a maintaining header and list all that info under there if no one has any other ideas?
 
alrighty, maintaining section added to the bottom of the page detailing the technicians major jobs to prevent meltdown as well as how the coolant is used to regulate the excess heat. Also a little bit about how damage to the unit will affect it and what happens when its left alone for too long
 
i'm inclined to ask you the same thing actually, i dont remember having a range section in there but if you mean the operating conditions range thats literally what it is, a range of conditions it must stay within to function correctly, like pressure and temp regulation
 
I think he means the "Range" found in the chart that makes mention of "30 years".
 
Oh right, well as is known about our current tech fission reactors, they can last for hundreds of years if maintained properly, and the decay rate of the materials in the reaction means they stick around for ages i just said upwards of thirty to provide a more definitive number as an example but i can change it if you need
 
after looking over it a little more it is a bit weird even having range in there, i had re used the template i made for my propulsion device but i guess in this context all energy generators would just need lifespan, from my experience with other tech subs lifespan is how long you expect the device to last before it falls into disrepair, while range is how long it can operate at a time

i'll remove the range and might edit the lifespan a bit too, so thanks for bringing it up Mecha and Ame ^^
 
YW!

Back to Arbs! *fingerpoints to Arbs wrapped in blankets inside a smol pillowfort*
 
alright i removed range and changed up the lifespan after digging into a couple of reports surrounding US nuclear facilities, sounds like a lot of them are recommended for about 40-50 years which is what i set mine at but it was also mentioned that plants will often replace components as they ware down which extends their potential lifespan a lot
 
Mkay this is my self-reminder to do the review tomorrow, since I have work and a couple hours, and I need to eat and get there and stuff. Tomorrow morning I have plenty of time thought >v>
 
This review is for: Place submission title here

The submitted article is/has…
[Y] A very high level of overall quality
[Yup!] A general topic sentence under the title header
[No] Artwork (Required for new species; Strongly recommended for vehicles and hand weapons)\\
[Useful] Needed and/or useful to the setting
[Mhm!] In the proper format/template
[Mostly] Proofread for spelling and grammar
[Yup] Easy to read and understand (not a lengthy mass of technobabble)
[Mhm!] Wikified (terms that could be a link should be a link)
[Nope!] No red and/or broken links
[*nods*] Reasonably scientifically plausible
[Y] Reasonably neutral point of view

The submitted article is/does not…
[N] Overpowered (or cutting tech for a faction with little or no roleplay)
[Nope] Obtusely redundant
[Uh-uh] Contain copy pasta descriptions of systems or interior compartments
[Nope] Unauthorized by faction managers or player-controlled corporation
[Nope] Contain references to IC events that have not occurred (SM must authorize retcons)
[Nope] Use second-person language (“you” or “your”) unless it is an instructional guide aimed at players.
[N] Use bombastic language (“virtually immune,” “nearly indestructible,” “insanely powerful,” “horrible effects”)
[Nah] Use an unbalanced header/text ratio (many headers but sections are one-liners)
[No] Use major unapproved sub-articles that should be submitted separately
[Kkkkinda] Lacking Detail
[Yes] Images hosted on sites other than stararmy.com (Photobucket, Imageshack, etc are not allowed)

The article has…
[N/A] Speeds in compliance with the Starship Speed Standard, if applicable
[N/A] Damage Capacity and Damage Ratings in compliance with the DR Guidelines
[Y] The in-character year of creation/manufacture. (Should be current year. Future years not allowed).
[Y] The Standard Product Nomenclature System, if applicable.


Summary
That sample/concept art probably shouldn't be used for the article, unless it was commissioned for SARP; if it was commissioned/can be used here, the image needs to be hosted on the wiki. If you need a different artwork, several members of the community use DOGA and I'm sure they'd like to help.

What's the size/mass of the reactor? Knowing how large it is gives a good sense of scale for things.

Status: Pending

Notes
The first sentence should probably start with "The Phoenix Fusion Generator by Galactic Horizon..." (The current start of the article is a little unfinished-looking at the moment).

While I appreciate you explaining the difference between nuclear fusion and nuclear fission, when I first read that section I thought that you were stating that the reactor could do both. I recommend cleaning the "Efficiency" section up a bit, and perhaps expanding more on the reactor itself instead of spending so much of the segment describing the difference between fission and fusion. (Saying that, one thing you might want to add is that fusion often uses abundant, light atoms such as Hydrogen, which are easier to acquire large quantities of).

You seem to be afraid of commas, club - I suggest giving another pass through the article, and breaking up several of your sentences with commas - my English teacher used to say that if I paused when reading a sentence out loud normally, I probably should put a comma where that pause is. It would help the article flow a little bit more smoothly.

I intend to finish this review by: June 20, 2018
 
I will never forgive commas for what they did to me, but that story is DLC only anyway

I'll work on commas and the fission fusion thing and give a size

As for the image, i did speak with arbs in discord and even after this conversation in a different thread a while ago I'm still not sure but @Wes if i want to use an image that isnt mine as a reference image, is it ok to link it in text like how many people including me do with character sheets? I haven't had a chance to get any actual art and wasn't really planning on it but I'd like to get a full answer on this so i can create articles in future accordingly ^^
 
Wiki pages are not allowed to hotlink images from other sites, if that's what you're asking. But you can make a text link and say "it looks like this" after your normal text description.
 
*Insert mreh.mp3*


Coolio @all the stuff above, sorry for taking so long to get back to this one! Will do a review right now!
 
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