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Approved Submission [Horizon] Skyhawk Shuttle

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The date is 6/16/19. This submission has been here for 9 days and has not had a reviewer assigned so i will be taking on the task.


Lets start with the checklist:


[ ✅ ] 1. The destination URL should be a page in the appropriate namespace and titled lower_case_with_underscores
[ ✅ ] 2. The article is in the appropriate format and article template
[ ❌ ] 3. The article follows our wiki style guidelines, including: No forced line breaks, text after each section header, etc.
[ ✅ ] 4. The article is easily read and free of errors in spelling and grammar
[ ❌ ] 5. Links to other wiki articles are present as appropriate and are not broken
[ ✅ ] 6. The article fits into the Star Army universe's space opera theme and technology levels
[ ✅ ] 7. Images in the article are hosted on Star Army's wiki and sourced responsibly (contact Wes privately if there's a concern)
[ ✅ ] 8. The article is original and doesn't contain copy-pasted content from other articles.
[ ✅ ] 9. The article complies with Star Army's rules in terms of damage ratings, speed limits, etc.
[ ❌ ] 10. The Faction Manager(s), if applicable, have posted approval for this article in this thread.

Here's some fixes this article still needs:

  • I know you are the player in charge of GH, and the Neshie FM. But a verbal FM stamp is required so anyone viewing this article in the future has no claim that it was not FM approved for whatever reason.

  • Please list the shields DrV3 rating in the damage section for convenience. I know it isnt for combat but the numbers help give an impression on just how strong it is to help survive the elements compared to the hull. Please also specify the hulls DR rating so it would look like:

    Hull: T-8
    Shield: rating here.

  • Some things are referenced in the article and should be properly linked (IE: the URSA and Redback ATVs)

  • Sarp uses american English instead of British English. Words like centre, armour, etc. should be changed to their appropriate counterparts.

  • "Range 1 week" is rather vague and if possible I'd like it instead changed to also include a distance as well as a length of time since a length of time implies the ship can go for the length of time regardless of how hard you push the ship.

    A good example would be "Range: 1 week of travel (Or about X light-years at maximum speed ). "

  • A price should also be added. If the product does not have a price please list a reason why.


  • "Inside the ship" has been left moderately bare and could use just a touch more love beyond the default text. The shuttle is made for recon and you specify it can hold passengers for over a week. So does it have any facilities like a restroom? a small kitchen with sinks that fold out of the wall? Storage compartments built into the bulkhead for supplies or gear? If not can you specify such things in the inside the ship section instead of the basic "This section contains basic layout information on the SkyHawk." Anything other than leaving it bare would be preferential.

  • Its 100% appropriate and encouraged to link to artists but please do so in the OOC notes to avoid someone clicking a link unintentionally they thought might be an article and ending up off site.


@club24 please @ me when these changes have been made or if you have further questions comments or concerns. I can also be reached on the discord under the name Sister Disco (Char)#0655 but should not be used unless absolutely necessary and any comments made there should not be considered official in regards to this thread unless they are said here. Please also note that my response will not be immediate after you have called me for these changes and that i will review the changes as soon as i am able to in a timely and precise manner.
 
Last edited:
"I, the current FM of Neshaten, lord Henry Scott Maxwell Elisiah 8th, hereby approve this article as the Lord of all fluffy foxes."

FM approval done for ya char, rest coming when i find energy to try and remember why i built a ship
 
After reviewing the changes @club24 ive found the following:


[ ✅ ] 1. The destination URL should be a page in the appropriate namespace and titled lower_case_with_underscores
[ ✅ ] 2. The article is in the appropriate format and article template
[ ✅ ] 3. The article follows our wiki style guidelines, including: No forced line breaks, text after each section header, etc.
[ ✅ ] 4. The article is easily read and free of errors in spelling and grammar
[ ✅ ] 5. Links to other wiki articles are present as appropriate and are not broken
[ ✅ ] 6. The article fits into the Star Army universe's space opera theme and technology levels
[ ✅ ] 7. Images in the article are hosted on Star Army's wiki and sourced responsibly (contact Wes privately if there's a concern)
[ ✅ ] 8. The article is original and doesn't contain copy-pasted content from other articles.
[ ✅ ] 9. The article complies with Star Army's rules in terms of damage ratings, speed limits, etc.
[ ✅ ] 10. The Faction Manager(s), if applicable, have posted approval for this article in this thread.

Very good progress! I have taken the liberty of changing the only remaining instance of Armoured to the american English Armored since i noticed that was the only instance left not changed. If you wish to keep the original you can change it back but please note it will not comply with the check list and i will have to revoke my APPROVED status i will be giving it if you choose this hill to die on~

Other than this, It is not a requirement but more a piece of advice. 5,000 KS is half of what a shuttle like this should cost, minimum. If you choose to change this in the future please respond here and i will approve it again.

And now for the final bit:

Thanks again for submitting an article to the wiki! Time for some final steps for the reviewer...

[ ✅ ] 1. State clearly that the article is approved in the submission thread
[ ❌ ] 2. Move the wiki article to its permanent (destination) location on the wiki
[ ✅ ] 3. Move the submission thread to the Approved Submissions subforum or get a moderator to
[ ✅ ] 4. Edit the article to add a link to the approval thread in the OOC Notes section
[ ✅ ] 5. Link other articles to the approved article as appropriate (equipment lists, etc.)

Please note that since GH doesnt have a starships or ships category i havent added it to your product list incase you where intending to start a new one for ships or add it alongside the URSA and other vehicles. I will leave that to your discression.
 
Yeah I’ll probably just throw it into the vehicles spot, as for pricing I’ve always had terrible judgment of the way it works here *and not many people are so interested they track each ks they earn*

It can stay cheap for now cause I’ll probably be the only one using it, since it doesn’t do space travel very well its got its own drawbacks.
 
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