Your character seems pretty good to me for a first character, though I think others might have a different opinion since I'm still somewhat new myself. Though I would touch up on grammar and add more character description/history. I remember when I first joined the site, someone told me to use the Pre-RP history instead to explain pieces of my character's personality and goals. You don't have to explain all of it, but maybe give a bit of background history as to why Edgardo is especially protective of his teammates for example. The piece you have for distinguishing features that involved his brother would fit perfectly into Pre-RP history and you could talk more about how having a brother motivated Edgardo to become more protective of everyone in general. You also don't have to directly explain the personality trait or goal, but maybe give a subtle nod as to it being the stem of a trait. I hope this advice works as well as it did for me, but overall really good first character in my opinion.