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Rejected Submission ITC technology

Yoerik

Yoerik

Inactive Member
I've got some tech for ITC that I need approved, check them out here:

Sugureta Engine: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=system:ushobrakflug:itc_sugureta_engine
Tsukiakari-class space station: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=tsukiakari_class_space_station

If anything needs improvement before it can be approved in any of these two articles, please post it below.

Edit:
Submission Type: Technology
Submission URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=tsukiakari_class_space_station, [url]https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=system:ushobrakflug:itc_sugureta_engine[/URL]

Faction:
FM Approved Yet? Yes
Faction requires art? No

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles? Yes
Contains New art? No)
Previously Submitted?/No

Notes: I'm sorry I didn't post this at first.
 
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Even 1,500 km is too big. It would take your company decades to build and more, if you even got the resources for it.

These aren't typos. You aren't paying attention to our site. You're not checking up on the setting. You need to research the setting more to understand us.
 
Speeds vary. That 0.1c is the sublight drive on a shuttle. Not a a full sized ship. But @yoerik17 your company is just getting started. You do not need to keep trying to churn out tech right now. Instead you should be doing research and making a list of things that your company can provide that are useful after you have seen what the setting already has to offer. Your accelerated pace is doing you no favors, because you're making technology that is missing character, so even if it competes in the end your company will just be known for producing higher spec tech with no personality to it.

And people wont by tech that is just all about specs, because it's about matching their character's needs. Like one of my characters has a somewhat weak side arm. But the reason she has it is because she doesn't like having an energy based side arm (the planet she's from uses massdrives as main weapons), and the other projectile sidearms don't tend to look like 'guns' but super furturistic weapons. So the gun that won her attention was a rugged projectile weapon that looks very similar to today's modern guns.
 
Doshii Jun,
Why is 1,500 km to big? the Ya'tronesha Hub Station is ten times that big and it only takes 7 months to complete. So 1,500 km would not take really that long with current construction processes.
 
In regards to the Ya'tronesha Hug Station, the station is not built by a small number of people, the Neshaten ship-building industry has over 900 million people who work for it, this makes it the largest industry within the Kingdom, but it also means that the Neshaten can turn out ships rather quickly during a time of war (much like how the US was able to turn out warships during WW2 due both to the resources and the personnel they had) with an industry that large, it is possible also for the Neshaten to build those stations quickly because they can deploy a fleet a industrial ships that can slowly piece the station together; this combined with onsite industrial barges means that components don't need to be shipped onsite but rather are created AT the site itself and can then be moved into place.
 
The numbers in your station are completely off, you'll need to fix those (along with the number of decks).
 
Well your crew and residence numbers are not consistent between the body of the article and the stat sheet, also your price is backwards. And I don't think just saying "You hired a lot of workers" so that you can keep your construction time is a good idea. Because your company is not exactly getting this station for free. A company is allowed to start with a base, but they do have finances they take care of to my understanding. So you will have had to take out a enormous start loan to get this station up at that speed cause the number of works you would need to hire. This would mean that your company would not be able to do much development at the start because most their money would go to paying that loan back.
 
Mostly, the price is for other people who want to buy it. I'd say that production would cost around 5,000,000 with the type of stations. So maybe I'd have to lower the price. Does that sound reasonable?
 
I don't know the numbers on how much a station would cost because I don't do stations. What I'm saying is, with how big the station is, the number of workers you'd have to higher to get it done in such a short time is enormous. And you'd have to pay them premium wage. Which means more that you'd have to give as a loan. Since your company is just starting out, and has no long term contracts, the usual course is to minimize the size of the start loan, not increase it.
 
I'm not saying that either. All I'm commenting on is that, when you were told that your station was too big to be constructed in time by a small force, you increased the size of the force. That's not a good move financially. If you want to keep your station the same size, increase the time it took to build, so that it wouldn't be as costly. You could even have parts of it still under construction if you wanted. You have to remember, your company is in start up phase. So while it's not impossible to get things, they probably don't have the resources to get everything without having to get loans or favors.
 
You can always increase the size of your company and its products later as it begins to catch on and become successful. The first matter is of course to figure out who you are going to make your customers and what that customer actually wants to buy. If you're going to build a huge station, you want to know it would sell before you dump your company's resources into it, right? I'd like to see some sort of basic business plan that justifies the tech and has a specific customer(s), and I think it would help you focus your efforts too.
 
Adding sales numbers from production runs on products that haven't even come close to being approved yet doesn't count as "finances". That could be projected information, but at the moment, your company has no production record, and no sales numbers for either of these products, so they can't be used to generate revenue.

Doshii has been rather polite and roundabout in how he's saying it, but you might want to put the ITC stuff on hold for the time being. Don't remove it, or get rid of it, but just on hold, and spend some time playing on the site. Origin would be a great place to look into, since it's probably the largest player run company in the setting, and has plenty of related RP for you to look into, or even take part in. It's not a matter of your writing not being good, or you not putting effort into it, but how it meshes with the rest of the setting. Once you have more familiarity, you'll understand better where the issues that people are bringing up are coming from.
 
Also @yoerik17 your prices are still backwards, KS are worth more than DA (It's not DH) not the other way around. Also your finance record does not really fit the time span your company has been existing even if it was allowed. At most your company could've existed for 5 months, since they are formed in YE36, but they have over 2million in sales, and a million and a half from investors. As well as 3 production runs. That doesn't really fit the time frame they'd have to do it all in. Also you seem to be a bit mistaken on how finances work. The finance sections for the other companies and for characters are 'real' and they're based on real time as well. Every entry in the finance section was actually done, and not just fluff of the past. You're going to have to accept that your company is -new-. They do not have solid footing yet, you have to play them to get them on their solid footing.

Like Aendri said it might be a good idea for you to not just glance at other companies and try to match their numbers, but watch them and look deeper, see how they operate. As an idea your company is good, but you're losing focus and precision because you're trying to crank them up to a point where they can compete with companies that have been around for years. The problem is you don't have the information you need to operate at that level. So you need to get that information.

Your companies only product right now is a thruster, that while powerful in real life, in the SARP universe would not hold much of an audience and with flaws still in it's design. thrusters are STL(Slower than light) travel. to go FTL(Faster than light) you'd need to distort space in some way. You can not just 'accelerate' to such a speed, so thrusters should not really have FTL capabilities on their own, that is a separate drive. Like in Star Trek. They have impulse engines for STL travel, then a separate warp drive for FTL travel. But aside from that, the FTL speed you put isn't even half as fast as most of the low end drives out there.

If you don't slow down and actually examine the technology of the setting, you're going to put in products that are too weak, and people wont bother to aid you any more, and if it gets approved, then your company spent money on it and are stuck with it, but it wont even sell as a budget product. And I'm pretty sure you don't want your company turning into that.
 
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I looked, but vou're entirely missing the point of what we're telling you. This is not meant as an insult or anything, but you are not well versed in the setting. The numbers you threw out aren't really meshing well. Especially with a STL speed of 0.95c <.< I might be mistaken but I think that's a little absurd. But need to sit down and learn about the setting @yoerik17 . You're in too much of a rush and because you're rushing you're not making your products quality. Instead of working on an engine, maybe design a whole ship. But whatever you do, look up what technology is already available.

Also you can't use hyper space, only fold drives if my understanding is correct.
 
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