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Approved Character Jaeris Karin

T

Telgias

Inactive Member
General Information
Name: Jaeris Karin

Species: Nepleslian
Gender: Male
Age: 23

Faction: Nepleslian Army
Occupation: Ground Forces (Infantry)
Rank: Ittô Heisho

Family:
First Generation
Ceris Karin, Sylvanna Yur (Origens Unknown) (Deaths Unknown)
Second Generation
Veriar Karin (Died In Nepleslia) Celiana (Killed In Gang War)
Third Generation
Gerrit Karin (Died In Nepleslia) Fiona (Lived till old age)
Fourth Generation
Saris Karin (Killed In Starship Battle) Brianna ( Killed In Battle)
Fifth Generation
Anakin Karin (Killed In Battle) Zandreya (Killed In Starship Battles)
Sixth Generation
Jaeris Karin (Currently Living And Single)

Physical Characteristics
Height: 5'9
Weight: 155 lb.
Build And Skin Color: Average/Flesh
Face And Eye Color: Ordinary/Green
Hair Color And Style: Black Hair that is short but has a decent amount of hair on head.

Psychological Characteristics
Personality: Jaeris holds his love for his people and home in high regard. He is a kind person when you get to know him and when he trusts you. He is quick to judge and to jump to asumptions. He can be very stubborn at times but will follow the orders of his officers unquestionly. He thinks the Nepleslian Army and Nepleslia in general are the right ideal.

Likes: Fighting In Urban Areas, Spicy food, And books
Dislikes: Fruit
Goals: To further Nepleslia In any way he can.

History
Jaeris lived In Nepleslia all his life and grew up in a better area than most, he was not affected by the fighting in the streets and what not. He had an ordinary life and was taught to love Nepleslia and help it in any way he could. So He began training his body and mind for when he would join the Nepleslian Army. His father helped him this with his skill in combat. His mother taught him many of the skills he would need in the future. He has just recently joined the nepleslian Army and looks forward to the challanges ahead and how he can help Nepleslia.

Skills
Communication: Jaeris is familiar with basic radio operation and procedures and can make transmissions to and receive transmissions from other characters through headsets, ships, ground vehicles, power armor, and shuttles in both combat and non-combat conditions. Jaeris is fluent in English. He can speak and write both correctly and efficiently and can write reports, fill forms, issue orders under fire, etc. Jaeris is skilled in field communications and is proficient in all rudimentary forms of communication
Fighting And Physical: Jaeris received intensive hand-to-hand combat training (primarily focused on disabling and/or killing opponents) and has followed up that knowledge with a rigorous training program. Weapons he is trained in include pistols of all types, knives, grenades (and other forms of explosive weaponry) and rifles of all kinds. Jaeris can repair weaponry with adequate tools and time. Jaeris is in excellent physical shape and has considerable endurance.
Survival: Jaeris knows how to survive in hostile environments. He can build shelters, hunt and forage for food, build a fire, etc. Jaeris can camouflage himself and is familiar with guerrilla warfare tactics.
Strategy: Jaeris can understand and give out tactical commands and work with his troop to follow those commands efficiently. He knows the importance of teamwork on the battlefield, has been intensively trained in discipline and morale, and is able to recognize the command structure even while under extreme pressure (combat, etc). Jaeris is able to recognize ambush points. He knows basic math in order to calculate distances, etc, and can use a tactical map.
Vehicles: Jaeris knows how to drive his vehicles when he needs to get somewhere fast. He is known to take "shortcuts" with this skill disregarding the roads. but when it comes down to it he can get ya where you want with just a few bruises. Jaeris prefers to drive the quicker vehicles than perhaps the more slower tank. He is skilled with the jeep and humvee type of vehicle.
Demolitions: Jaeris always said if you cant destroy it with a rifle might as well blow it up. When fighting gets beyond the power of rifles and melee, its time to use explosives for the job. He knows the basics on this skill and the basics how to blow basic things up, he cant blow up the space station that is in the way but he can blow up that gun battery that is making it hard to advance. Jaeris knows how to blow up tanks and batteries and very small ships
Leadership: Jaeris has this skill aquired naturally and leads extremeley well. He leads whoever he commands into the fray against incredible odds and preserves their lives will well placed commands. He says if he is to die, he will die with his men.

(Edited by Yangfan: moved latest version bio here for easy access.)
 
Wes, do Nepleslian Army personnel need Mathematics and Info Tech? No, right?

Otherwise, everything looks good. If you want the formatting to be perfect, (and I'm personally a perfectionist), use this templete:
https://stararmy.com/ccg/ccg2_end_template.html

Your bio should end up looking like this (fill in the blanks):

Name:

General Information
Species:
Gender: (Please note if your character's gender does not match his/her sex.)
Age:

Family/Creators: (Please, no "Unknown.")

Faction:
Occupation:
Rank: (Cannot exceed your board rank)
Current Assignment:

Physical Characteristics
Height: In English and Metric, please.
Weight: In English and Metric, please
Measurements: (Bust, Waist, Hips) In English and Metric, please.
<s>Bra Size: (This line may be omitted if not applicable)</s>

Build and Skin Color:
Face and Eye Color:
Hair color and Style:

Distinguishing Features:

Psychological Characteristics
Personality:

Likes:
Dislikes:
Goals:

History

Skills:
 
I think the character is all right, but you should delete the part in the history about understanding "the horrors of war." That's the sort of thing that should be RPed out--it'll make for more interesting RP, anyway. Otherwise, nice job.
 
There's a different skillset for Nepleslian army personelle. It's a bit hidden, though.

Planetary Soldiers

These are the brave men and women who engage in (usually) close range, planetary combat.

Note: It is here where Nepleslia and Yamatai split in military philosophy. Nepleslian planetary soldiers rarely contribute to the operation of a starship; therefore their required skillsets are somewhat different than those of a standard soldier or member of Yamatai. Nepleslian planetary soldiers must have the following (substitute for default requirements):
Click to expand...

Communication: Your character is familiar with basic radio operation and procedures and can make transmissions to and receive transmissions from other characters through headsets, ships, ground vehicles, power armor, and shuttles in both combat and non-combat conditions. Your character is fluent in English. He can speak and write both correctly and efficiently and can write reports, fill forms, issue orders under fire, etc. The character is skilled in field communications and is proficient in all rudimentary forms of communication (hand signals, flashing lights, etc).

Fighting and Physical: Your character received intensive hand-to-hand combat training (primarily focused on disabling and/or killing opponents) and has followed up that knowledge with a rigorous training program. Weapons he is trained in include pistols of all types, knives, grenades (and other forms of explosive weaponry) and rifles of all kinds. The character can repair weaponry with adequate tools and time. The character is in excellent physical shape and has considerable endurance.

Survival: The character knows how to survive in hostile environments. He can build shelters, hunt and forage for food, build a fire, etc. The character can camouflage himself and is familiar with guerrilla warfare tactics.

Strategy (Tactics/discipline): The character can understand and give out tactical commands and work with his troop to follow those commands efficiently. He knows the importance of teamwork on the battlefield, has been intensively trained in discipline and morale, and is able to recognize the command structure even while under extreme pressure (combat, etc). The character is able to recognize ambush points. He knows basic math in order to calculate distances, etc, and can use a tactical map.
Click to expand...

He knows basic vehicle and demolitions operation? You may want to have your soldier become a demolitions specialist so he gets this (still counts against his 7). Otherwise, the 3 free skills are there to have you flesh out the character's social life, other skills, personality, etc:

The demolitions expert is responsible for the usage of explosives to their maximum effect. They're the guys you call in when you want to blow up a big target, booby trap and area with explosives, or break through a wall.

Demolitions: The character can identify, manufacture, handle and dispose of explosives. With the proper tools, he can detect and disarm enemy explosives as well.
Click to expand...
 
General Information
Species: Nepleslian
Gender: Male

Family/Creators:
First Generation
Ceris Karin, Sylvanna Yur (Origens Unknown) (Deaths Unknown)
Second Generation
Veriar Karin (Died In Nepleslia) Celiana (Killed In Gang War)
Third Generation
Gerrit Karin (Died In Nepleslia) Fiona (Lived till old age)
Fourth Generation
Saris Karin (Killed In Starship Battle) Brianna ( Killed In Battle)
Fifth Generation
Anakin Karin (Killed In Battle) Zandreya (Killed In Starship Battles)
Sixth Generation
Jaeris Karin (Currently Living And Single)
Faction: Nepleslian Army
Occupation: Planetary Forces (Infantry)
Rank: Ittô Heisho
Current Assignment: None

Physical Characteristics
Height: 5'9
Weight: 155 Lb.
Measurements: ???
Bra Size: N/A
Build and Skin Color: Average/ Flesh/Tan
Face and Eye Color: Green/ Ordinary
Hair color and Style: Black/ Short

Distinguishing Features:

Psychological Characteristics
Personality: Very nice when he trusts you, but that takes a while. He is quick to jump to conclusions or suspicions.

Likes: Combat In Urban Areas
Dislikes: Sitting around and not eating Spicey noodles
Goals: To Fight Fr Nepleslia

History Jaeris had a very normal and average life for he lived with a good family and good area. Then he joined the nepleslian Army and he wishes to see the other worlds and figt for his Home.

Skills:
Communication: Jaeris aquired this skill in his basic training when he joined the Nepleslian Army, He knows this skill about the same as any soldier.
Fighting And Physical: Jaeris learned this skill also in his course in basic training but he went further on to train on it in advanced training.
Survival: Jaeris learned this skill when he was a child growing up in Nepleslia. Then he learned it in Basic Training.
Strategy: Jaeris uses his mind well with this normally fighting in urban areas, He learned this and has the basic skills of a soldier with strategy.
Vehicles: Jaeris has a basic skill with the uses of Vehicles and can drive or operate them.
Leadership: Jaeris has had this skill all his life and is a natural leader when the time comes.
Demolitions: Jaeris has taken the basic training for this skill, and knows how to use this skill on basic occations.
 
The personality description and skill descriptions are entirely too short. ~_~;
 
You can just cut and paste the 4 skills I quoted, if you feel that you don't want to write any additional info or expand on what your character knows, etc.
 
General Information
Name: Jaeris karin
Species: Nepleslian
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Faction: Nepleslian Army
Occupation: Ground Forces (Infantry)
Rank: Ittô Heisho
Family:
First Generation
Ceris Karin, Sylvanna Yur (Origens Unknown) (Deaths Unknown)
Second Generation
Veriar Karin (Died In Nepleslia) Celiana (Killed In Gang War)
Third Generation
Gerrit Karin (Died In Nepleslia) Fiona (Lived till old age)
Fourth Generation
Saris Karin (Killed In Starship Battle) Brianna ( Killed In Battle)
Fifth Generation
Anakin Karin (Killed In Battle) Zandreya (Killed In Starship Battles)
Sixth Generation
Jaeris Karin (Currently Living And Single)

Physical Characteristics
Height: 5'9
Weight: 155 lb.
Build And Skin Color: Average/Flesh
Face And Eye Color: Ordinary/Green
Hair Color And Style: Black Hair that is short but has a decent amount of hair on head.

Psychological Characteristics
Personality: Jaeris holds his love for his people and home in high regard. He is a kind person when you get to know him and when he trusts you. He is quick to judge and to jump to asumptions. He can be very stubborn at times but will follow the orders of his officers unquestionly. He thinks the Nepleslian Army and Nepleslia in general are the right ideal.
Likes: Fighting In Urban Areas, Spicy food, And books
Dislikes: Fruit
Goals: To further Nepleslia In any way he can.

History
Jaeris lived In Nepleslia all his life and grew up in a better area than most, he was not affected by the fighting in the streets and what not. He had an ordinary life and was taught to love Nepleslia and help it in any way he could. So He began training his body and mind for when he would join the Nepleslian Army. His father helped him this with his skill in combat. His mother taught him many of the skills he would need in the future. He has just recently joined the nepleslian Army and looks forward to the challanges ahead and how he can help Nepleslia.

Skills
Communication: Jaeris is familiar with basic radio operation and procedures and can make transmissions to and receive transmissions from other characters through headsets, ships, ground vehicles, power armor, and shuttles in both combat and non-combat conditions. Jaeris is fluent in English. He can speak and write both correctly and efficiently and can write reports, fill forms, issue orders under fire, etc. Jaeris is skilled in field communications and is proficient in all rudimentary forms of communication
Fighting And Physical: Jaeris received intensive hand-to-hand combat training (primarily focused on disabling and/or killing opponents) and has followed up that knowledge with a rigorous training program. Weapons he is trained in include pistols of all types, knives, grenades (and other forms of explosive weaponry) and rifles of all kinds. Jaeris can repair weaponry with adequate tools and time. Jaeris is in excellent physical shape and has considerable endurance.
Survival: Jaeris knows how to survive in hostile environments. He can build shelters, hunt and forage for food, build a fire, etc. Jaeris can camouflage himself and is familiar with guerrilla warfare tactics.
Strategy: Jaeris can understand and give out tactical commands and work with his troop to follow those commands efficiently. He knows the importance of teamwork on the battlefield, has been intensively trained in discipline and morale, and is able to recognize the command structure even while under extreme pressure (combat, etc). Jaeris is able to recognize ambush points. He knows basic math in order to calculate distances, etc, and can use a tactical map.
Vehicles: Jaeris knows how to drive his vehicles when he needs to get somewhere fast. He is known to take "shortcuts" with this skill disregarding the roads. but when it comes down to it he can get ya where you want with just a few bruises. Jaeris prefers to drive the quicker vehicles than perhaps the more slower tank. He is skilled with the jeep and humvee type of vehicle.
Demolitions: Jaeris always said if you cant destroy it with a rifle might as well blow it up. When fighting gets beyond the power of rifles and melee, its time to use explosives for the job. He knows the basics on this skill and the basics how to blow basic things up, he cant blow up the space station that is in the way but he can blow up that gun battery that is making it hard to advance. Jaeris knows how to blow up tanks and batteries and very small ships
Leadership: Jaeris has this skill aquired naturally and leads extremeley well. He leads whoever he commands into the fray against incredible odds and preserves their lives will well placed commands. He says if he is to die, he will die with his men.

There you go Wes and Yangfan
 
Just a comment, the skills are quite lacking in detail. Im not sure what Wes/Yangfan would say about that, but - I feel, personally, that these are very broad areas that need more refinement as to what they mean for your particular character.

Fighting? Okay, how does he fight? How does he lead, and how efficiently? The rest, I suppose, work better as standalones. Vehicles, though, could certainly use more detail as well.
 
The skill area descriptions aren't nearly complete. They don't say what specific skills he has.

Skill area descriptions should look like these (notice how detailed they are):

Starship Operations: Having her first duty assignment as a small warship pilot, Akina extended her proficiency to piloting larger cruisers. Her constant presence aboard a bridge (when not called to occasionally fight in a MINDY) helped her learn the practical flow of operations. Her high echelon studies and practical training came at the Kyoto War college, where the Neko learned the finer points of starship operations from the command seat.

Entertainment: Having fun is definitely upon the many priorities in which she possesses. From playing the yumataian flute to professional diving one could only assume her to be disciplined. However with a social life bordering on social adventure her flirtatious interactions, natural ability to belly dance and a hunger for sexual encounter has her true playful nature at heart. Fairly good at mixing a drink, mostly for herself however.

Diplomacy (Etiquette): Robert Davis is a gentleman. He is an eloquent speaker, and keeps his appearance sharp at all times. He knows how to host functions of all types, and is well-versed in etiquette. He can negotiate political actions and treaties and serve as a dignitary and liaison. He knows how to behave across multi-cultural barriers and in the political houses of foreign powers. He has no problem speaking before large audiences. Davis knows the ins and outs of various honor systems, and is familiar with their workings (consequences of breaking them, etc). He knows how to use a sword for ceremonial purposes.

Rogue - Though she has no great ability with any of these skills, the fact that much of her childhood was spent as latch-key has left her with a few notable capabilities. She can pick basic locks, and is a very adept liar, able to craft outrageous stories and make them entirely believable - usually to the detriment of the one so convinced. Swindling, its the gods work. However, she is not talented enough to remove much from anyone, having only the fact that she is young and can conjure up tears at nothing as saving graces.

Survival: Hanako is a capable swimmer and can tread water for hours on end, if necessary. While not a particularly fast swimmer, she's agile in the water and won't drown in the ocean, which is the important thing! Hanako's also nimble as a bird when she's in zero-gravity as a result of all her training and experience in space over the years.
Click to expand...
 
There Wes i dired every cource of my mind I could, I just havent had time to post and fix this. I have been very busy lateley.
 
Why not use the default skill descriptions for the 4 required skills?


Communication: Jaeris is familiar with basic radio operation and procedures and can make transmissions to and receive transmissions from other characters through headsets, ships, ground vehicles, power armor, and shuttles in both combat and non-combat conditions. Jaeris is fluent in English. He can speak and write both correctly and efficiently and can write reports, fill forms, issue orders under fire, etc. Jaeris is skilled in field communications and is proficient in all rudimentary forms of communication (hand signals, flashing lights, etc).

Fighting and Physical: Jaeris received intensive hand-to-hand combat training (primarily focused on disabling and/or killing opponents) and has followed up that knowledge with a rigorous training program. Weapons he is trained in include pistols of all types, knives, grenades (and other forms of explosive weaponry) and rifles of all kinds. Jaeris can repair weaponry with adequate tools and time. Jaeris is in excellent physical shape and has considerable endurance.

Survival: Jaeris knows how to survive in hostile environments. He can build shelters, hunt and forage for food, build a fire, etc. Jaeris can camouflage himself and is familiar with guerrilla warfare tactics.

Strategy (Tactics/discipline): Jaeris can understand and give out tactical commands and work with his troop to follow those commands efficiently. He knows the importance of teamwork on the battlefield, has been intensively trained in discipline and morale, and is able to recognize the command structure even while under extreme pressure (combat, etc). Jaeris is able to recognize ambush points. He knows basic math in order to calculate distances, etc, and can use a tactical map.


I copied these from Tom and replaced all references to the character with your character's name. Feel free to add your personal touches. We'll help you with the other three skill descriptions.

Some thoughts:

Vehicles: I liked your description of his driving style. Elaborate on which vehicle he perfers or specializes in. (Motorbike? Jeep? APC? Tank?)

Demolitions: State that he took classes on explosives as a part of his training. Also give more examples of the things he's trained to blow sky high. (Ex: gun batteries, bunkers, small bridges? vehicles?)

Leadership: I'm fine with this one, actually.


Finally, I recommend typing things in Word before posting them, so you'll be able to fix most spelling and grammar problems ahead of time. You'll improve as you write more often, but nobody has perfect spelling or grammar.
 
Thank you tom and yangfan, I never encountered so much trouble with Telgias. Well there you go i lengthened them greatly.
 
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