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Approved Character Jonah Felor

Ibram

New Member
Name: Jonah Felor
General Information
Species: Nepleslian
Gender: Male
Age: 21

Family (or Creators):
Father- Tyrik Felor
Mother- Christine Gurfile
Employer: Nepleslian Army
Occupation: Planetary Soldier
Rank: Soldier 3rd Class
Current Assignment: N/A
Physical Characteristics
Height: 5'7"
Weight: 150 lb.
Measurements: N/A

Build and Skin Color: His build is average, his muscle strength does not show but his height and weight make him larger. His skin color is fair, slightly tanned from his training on Delsauria. His skin is smooth and tough due to the training.
Facial Features and Eye Color: His eye color is a deep emerald green. His face is circular with a strong chin. No place on his face is to thin or overly large.
Hair color and Style: His black hair is short and unruly at times. His hair is slightly shaggy and he keeps it short so it will not interfere in combat.

Distinguishing Features: Jonah has a scar running from an inch above his eyebrow that runs down to his lower cheek. He recieved this scar from a knife accident during his Guirrilla training.

Psychological Characteristics
Personality: Jonah can seem cold and reserved at times. He is not one who trusts and comes to friendly terms easily. His nationalist ideals can interfere at times for better or worse. But when you do gain his trust, you will find him to be a reliable and trusting friend. He will help his fellow soldiers and allies to his last breath.

Likes: Drawing, Technical studies, Swamps
Dislikes: Anit-Nepleslians, pacifists
Goals: To Defend Nepleslia From Itself!

History: Jonah was born on Kennewes and he moved to Nepleslia at the age of 12. During his life on the marsh world, he studied the local animals and he began to grow his nationalist ideals. Nothing of importance happened on his time on Kennewes. As on Nepleslia. At the age of 18 he joined the nepleslian military and he began his training on Delsauria.
From what he has said about his time on Delsauria, he told of how the training was rough and hard. The desert wore on you and as if normal Nepleslian training was not enough. The blistering heat, the dangerous sand, and the roughness of the training made it a great challange indeed. There are reports though that he returned to Kennewes a few days after his training. It is said that he trained in guirilla warfare at his marshy homeworld for a period of two months. Thus Jonah is well to be versed in urban, desert, and guirilla combat.

Skills:
-Communications: Jonah can operate basic radio and transmission machines. He can work the radios in many different vehicles. He can fill out orders and papers. He can speak and write in English.

-Fighting And Physical: Jonah is trained in hand to hand combat to kill and incapacitate enemies. He is versed in many weapons such as rifles, pistols, knvies, and grenades along with other explosives. He keeps his body in good physical condition.

-Survival: Jonah can survive in hostile envirioments. He can create shelters, clothing, and moderate survival tools to hold out in the terrain. He is versed in Camouflage and guirrilla warfare. He can hold out especially well in marshy terrain due to his homeworld.

-Demolitions: Jonah has a basic knowlege of explosives and demolition techniques. He can plant simple to moderate explosives and untilize them to their purpose. But even though he is trained in it, he has been known to make mistakes with this skill.

-Vehicles: Jonah can drive civillian and military vehicles as an average person. He follows the rules of the road and drives within the law. But during combat he may drive frantically to get where he needs to get too.

-Chemistry: Jonah took advanced chemistry in his schooling. he enjoys the subject and he does it in his spare time. He knows many chemical properties and how to utilise them along with their effects.

-Entertainment: Jonah plays the flute in his quiet time, he prefers to play alone and in solitude. He uses it as a way to relieve stress and tension. His skill is well done as he can preform simple to moderate difficulty songs.
 

Doshii Jun

Perpetual player
Retired Staff
Fung shui, dude. We must correct yours.

But first, the cool bits.

One! -- Cool use of the other planets in the NSE. That's something to be applauded, as most characters seem to just spring up from Funky City and never leave. That should add some real perspective to your character. You might want to talk to the mod, Tom, about the time your character supposedly spent there, to see if there's some training program you could reference.

Two! -- Always good to not have another orphan/street urchin. Consider the character's family life and what it was like; you explain he has nationalist ideals, but where did he get them? You don't have to write it down, just consider it.

Three! -- Shaggy hair to win.

Four! -- The nationalist ideals are very intriguing. One wonders if they will break down in Funky City, the city without ideals. *bun bun bunnnnn*

Some cautionary points: (These are things to just think about).

Uno! -- Where did he learn to like Japanese food?

Dos! -- Defend Nepleslia from what?

Now, the corrective parts.

Ichi! -- Too many skills. New characters receive seven. If you're going to be stationed on Nepleslia, consider losing the marsh fighting. The entire planet's one big asphalt rock, after all.

Ni! -- Leadership. Not a skill you should probably have when you're a 3rd Class Grunt. The ability to lead naturally can come through the RP, if called for.

San! -- You have the fighting skill twice.

Yon! -- Watch the spelling.
 

Laz

New Member
Well pretty much all has been said, but also you shuld separate your paragraphs for skills.
 

Yangfan

Active Member
This character is very close to getting approved. I'd like to ask Thad to give his opinion on the bio before I do anything, because, well, it's tradition. :)

Or maybe Wes will come along and approve it. Whichever happens first.
 

Jadg Wolf

New Member
Sorry it took so long, I sort of....forgot that I needed to reply. I think I've taken long enough, so I'll keep it short: previous advice was good and it looks like it was heeded, and everything seems to be in order. Good job, nice work.
 
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