1. Umm ... far be it from me to question a woman on the figure a girl should have, but, um, ... 5'10" and she's only 98 pounds? With D-cups? That doesn't quite add up to me (hot as it sounds).
At the least, the height is off. Did you mean 5'1"? Note that if she's taller than 5'6", she cannot pilot a Mindy II power armor. She'd also be looked upon strangely by her peers, as there is no Neko listed anywhere in the SARP with a such a height.
2. Her hair sounds very pretty, so you can add that she gets compliments about that, too. (Haw.)
3. In her personality, it sounds to me as if she doesn't like computers or technology in general. That's OK; Neko are individuals who can deviate from cultural norms just as anyone else. But in space, it's hard to target anything without the assistance of computers. Does this mean she stays out of space combat if she can help it?
Also, how does she feel about her own computerized brain and war machine body, considering it is bred for war?
3a. Why does she seem to be so fearful of others? That doesn't fit in with her distrust of technology, nor does her desire for modesty (the bodystocking/stretch suit uniform, or the technician's/Redberry uniform, would work for her, right?).
4. I'm guessing her mother was a member of the 5th XF. That fleet has suffered plenty, and since Taiie was destroyed, that would explain the loss of backups.
I'd actually like to see a little more history about the mother -- her name and what was her duty on the ship she served on, for instance.
5. For her Fighting skill, you make no mention of her sharpshooting. With my character Yukari,
sharpshooting is a secondary skill beneath Combat. However, Yukari earned that distinction through RP, something you can't do yet.
There's a couple of ways I'm willing to let the sharpshooting stand.
a. Lessen her ability with other weapons inside the Fighting skill, while enhancing the "sharpshooting." For instance, she might be merely proficient enough to pass tests with pistols, knives and grenades, but excel with rifle-like weapons.
That means that in the RP, against a Nekovalkyrja fresh out of basic training, she would have a higher degree of losing a fight that involved grenades, knives or energy pistols. However, if she and her Neko opponent were given rifles, she'd have a much better chance of succeeding.
b. Eliminate one of her elective skills (Culinary, Physical, Domestic) and add the secondary skill to Fighting. Pretty self-explanatory. Since she's a Neko and benefits much less from exercise than a Yamataian or a Nepleslian, that would be my first choice of skills to cut if you go this route. She could still be an exercise freak if you want her to be, since her exercise doesn't seem to involve anything special (gymnastics, swordplay, etc.).
Either route you take is fine with me, as the same can apply to any character being created by a veteran of the SARP.
Overall: A fine Nekovalkyrja character -- highly capable in battle under the right circumstances, not so solid outside of battle. An entirely solid stab at a Neko character!
This character is pending. Please address the list of edits and questions above.
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