Approved Character Kakita Manabu

[Nergal]

https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=ch ... ita_manabu

New character. Aah, so nervous..!

[EDIT]: Bio has been updated!

EDIT2: Noticed some particularly egregious typos on the wiki, just altered them.

 

[Nashoba]

Not a bad first attempt, but here a few things that need addressing.

Yamataians regenerate. So they do not scar, or suffer from debilitating injuries.

Okay, with regards to his eyes, what shape are they? Details please.

With regards to this statement about his hair
vividity is cut longer - longer than what? This does not give us a clear indication of its length. Is it shoulder length, shoulder blade etc...

 

[phacon]

Yeah, you actually did better than when I wrote my first character lol. Nice job ;3

 

[Nergal]

Hi! Thanks for the pointers, i appreciate it!

Yamataians regenerate. So they do not scar, or suffer from debilitating injuries.

Thanks for this clarification, because this gave me the most trouble. I noticed the part about regeneration while researching the wiki and wasn't sure if it meant total regenerative capabilities or just more advanced than the norm. Will alter appropriately!

Okay, with regards to his eyes, [ ... ] shoulder length, shoulder blade etc...

These are errors of omission, and i'll clear them up ASAP (i was getting weird formatting errors that ended up cutting stuff out whenever i previewed the CCG page). He has generally Yamataian/Japanese characteristics which apply to eye shape and the "cut longer" debacle somehow evolved from "worn just past the ears" into nonsense.

I appreciate the help! Applications are always nerve-wracking for me.

Yeah, you actually did better than when I wrote my first character lol. Nice job ;3

Thanks! Very excited to get started!

 

[Wes]

CHARACTER APPROVED

The next step is to request orders to get sent to your desired plot ship. Let me know if you need any assistance!