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Rejected Submission Komodo System/Planet

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Edto Xar'Sivaree

Edto Xar'Sivaree

Lizard Freak!
Inactive Member
Submission Type: System/Planet
Submission URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:system:komodo System
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=planet:komodo Planet

Faction: VDTF Vekimen
FM Approved Yet? (Yes) I made it?
Faction requires art? (No)

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles? (No)
Contains New art? (No)
Previously Submitted? (No)

Notes: Figured I would get the System and the Planet approved now. I need to figure out /exactly/ where the Heartbreaker is right now or at least a general region. I just hope I am not boxed in by places owned by other people.
 
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Where's the beef? This seems to just be randomly generated stats from donjon. How about some actual content like what cities are on the planet, etc?
 
Wes said:
Where's the beef? This seems to just be randomly generated stats from donjon. How about some actual content like what cities are on the planet, etc?
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There is a single city on the planet. I have no problems adding it, but I am just warning you there is only one city on the planet.
 
How about a history section? Any original content that makes this article worth reading will help.
 
Wes said:
How about a history section? Any original content that makes this article worth reading will help.
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I don't think you quite understand Wes, The Vekimen have only been there maybe a couple months from what I have RP'd out. I can add what little history there is, but it will more or less "The Vekimen got to the planet, The Vekimen built their first City" and until things continue, that will more or less be it.
 
As for Location on the Galactic Map. As it has been explained to me, by Yamatai standards, no part of the sector is more than three days apart. I feel it would take a little bit, but if we could discuss map locations that would be great. I've broadened where I would like to be, but I still don't want to be a stones throw away from another faction if that s at all possible.
 
You've got to have more planned than this, Edto. I respect you want RP to back things up, but this puts your cart before your horse.
 
Im almost done what I can say has been done Doshii, but I'm not going to start saying the Vekimen have done things that they haven't had time to complete. If y'all let me have like, a 5 year time warp on the location I could get a better Geographic layout with Cities ad the like, but without that they have been on the planet for a couple months, I've fast-tracked them pretty hard as it is already.
 
If you need five years to fill this out beyond the basic generated statistics, you don't need the planet.

However, what you've added certainly is a good start. @Wes, how do you feel about this?
 
It's definitely getting better but it needs proofreading and notification and I'd still like to see more detail in the system and planet articles.

Where is this system supposed to be and how did the Vekimen get there?

I remember in the past you wanted Yamatai to come help the Vekimen but it looks like they will have their own planet and don't need another.
 
From what I understand, what is being built here is supposed to be the empty planet that you/Yui offered to the Vekimen to colonize and build up, because Yamatai had obtained/claimed it but did not have the spare power/time/etc. to deal with colonizing and properly utilizing it.
 
@Reynolds is 100% correct. This is the planet the Vekimen are transplaneted onto with the help of Yamatai. I would rather not be planted right adjacent to a place Yamatai has already claimed. Given the Frontier and such, a little north, or south towards the map border would be nice.

Their lack of history is because I personally have ever read any nail biting, page turning history of a place that has only had habitants for a month, especial when that month was "Build what we need". I was told I needed the system and planetary to complete my deal with Star Army Surplus so I built it at Wes's implied request when he started asking for system information and the like. If you want more stuff to have happened befoe I post the system and such sure, but this was made for the Vekimen to buy ships.

Using a "Month" is arbitrary. They have probably been on the planet for about 3 or four months.
 
Unless I'm missing something, Yamatai hasn't actually transported them anywhere in the RP yet. I was under the impression that Yamatai would put them on some Yamataian planet.
 
Wes said:
Unless I'm missing something, Yamatai hasn't actually transported them anywhere in the RP yet. I was under the impression that Yamatai would put them on some Yamataian planet.
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I was under the impression that Yamatai would plant them somewhere not on Yamatai controlled space. Further more, without this planet, I wouldn't be able to do anything but play Edtoto. When I initially asked you if I could get Gowen onto the Sakishima, Gowen getting there was back dated to after Yamatai helped.

Yamatai has always been prepared to help the Vekimen, since you sent Reynolds character that message saying "Drop everything and help the Vekimen". This is not new. Everything that has happened on this planet is /after/ mission 4 on the HEartbreaker which has been going on since I believe July. It's almost december. I am fully, 100% aware that you as Yamatai have done nothing for the Vekimen yet, but this is what has happened in the several months /AFTER/ the mission.
 
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I'm putting this submission on hold until some RP happens that supports it. We can't just assume that what this planet page says happened will actually happen in the RP.
 
Wes said:
I'm putting this submission on hold until some RP happens that supports it. We can't just assume that what this planet page says happened will actually happen in the RP.
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Too late, everything afterwards has already been Roleplayed. The only discrepancy is the Vekimen going from station to Planet, which quite frankly is all you.

Furthermore, it has NEVER been a question of how the Vekimen got to this planet. Never. YAmatai was always going to support them getting to this planet. What you are apparently wanting are the very specific details, which at the end of the day, so long as they lead to the Vekimen getting onto a planet, there is no roleplay issue. The Vekimen are getting on a planet. This was always the plan. Seriously Wes, Always, the Plan.
 
I've been asking for a request to be sent to Yamatai from you or @Reynolds asking for help from Yamatai for the Vekimen for months and still nothing's been sent; Therefore Yamatai still doesn't even know the Vekimen need anything and the YSE/SAoY still hasn't sent additional ships, etc, and hasn't moved the Vekimen anywhere yet.
 
Reynolds said:
Sally could see the various feeds from the crew members crackling, turning to static one by one. "Taii, they're moving too far into the station. We've lost contact with Jodan entirely. Chudan...um..." Every few seconds a grainy image would flash across the screen Usagi was inspecting, from Skade's viewpoint. A sea of unfriendly Vekimen faces. "Well, Chudan has certainly made contact with the uninfected Vekimen."

"Have Gedan change position to the Laderen airlock for possible extraction. They might be able to boost communications to Chudan as well." The Captain looked up from the staticy images to signal for Rin's attention. "Ittou, contact the Seisenkyo and relay a message to Star Army Command. The Taisho will want to be made aware of our successful contact with the Vekimen...as well as the presence of Mishhuvurthyar. It will take some time for their support teams to mobilize."

Meanwhile, the I'ee team at the barricade could hear signs of the closer conflict, and soon had their own unfriendlies to worry about. A few stray infected from the group that had circled around behind the away team had split off to return to the main shuttle bay, rushing towards the insectoids, tendrils violently flailing in the air above them.
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There is your Message to Star Army for help Wes. It was Reynolds second last GM post. I told you, I would tell him to put it into his post so that you could make an IC post ad prepare to get everything mobilized.

You are arguing semantics Wes. The plan has always been the Vekimen get a planet. I have been quite vocal about it actually. I have been writing posts of the Vekimen ON THEIR PLANET that they were put on after Yamatai put them there.

But if you 100% insist on destroying all that roleplay because you haven't written a damned post about it then by all means, Wes, ruin all that roleplay because you don't know /exactly/ what Yamatai will do.

And you were making comments on how little I had because /I/ wanted to roleplay out their history more. You are putting this on hold so that I can wait for you to find time to RP this out. Seems a little redundant.

Is there a problem with the submission at this point that does not involve your lack of IC posts regarding the issue. Is there any other reason other than "Yamatai hasnt been told" which honestly they have been, that is stopping this from being approved.
 
This is the first time I've seen that. I don't have time to read every plot in its entirety and nobody tagged me or clued me in via the GM forum. I see the captain telling Rin to send a message but I haven't actually gotten a message on the Star Army communications network, which is what I'm looking for, specifically.

@Reynolds you need to have your ship phone home and say what's happening. I would really like you to make such a post today if possible.
 
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