Altairkri Pearl
Inactive Member
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Approved Character Krian Pearl
- Thread starter Altairkri Pearl
- Start date
Altairkri Pearl
Inactive Member
fixed the language part. ^ ^
1. The age of 28 is throwing me off. If he was 18 when he joined, what's he doing still as a bottom-rung soldier at 28? Unless he's just that bad of a soldier.
2. What's the plot you're trying to get into?
3. I'm not sure I understand how being in the Star Army furthers his love of fashion. Unless there's more to his joining that meets the eye. Not to mention his pacifism and whatnot also kind of preclude joining the military. "To better himself and his people skills. ... " Did he really think it through?
4. Why the NH-29 body? We've been seeing more men adopting it lately, but each has had a clear reason as to why. What's his?
5. On "Fighting:" "Krian is also skilled in the damaging of pressure points throughout most humanoid bodies." How skilled is "skilled?" Pressure points aren't always useful in a setting of extreme ranged combat, so it's not a bad little addition, but you're doubling up with this extra fighting specialty. It should be its own skill.
6. On "Communication:" What is "North Nepleslian?"
Overall: A different character, to say the least, but a good one, with a thought-out backstory.
This character is pending. The submitter must review the list of edits above and bump the thread with a post signaling it is ready for review.
2. What's the plot you're trying to get into?
3. I'm not sure I understand how being in the Star Army furthers his love of fashion. Unless there's more to his joining that meets the eye. Not to mention his pacifism and whatnot also kind of preclude joining the military. "To better himself and his people skills. ... " Did he really think it through?
4. Why the NH-29 body? We've been seeing more men adopting it lately, but each has had a clear reason as to why. What's his?
5. On "Fighting:" "Krian is also skilled in the damaging of pressure points throughout most humanoid bodies." How skilled is "skilled?" Pressure points aren't always useful in a setting of extreme ranged combat, so it's not a bad little addition, but you're doubling up with this extra fighting specialty. It should be its own skill.
6. On "Communication:" What is "North Nepleslian?"
Overall: A different character, to say the least, but a good one, with a thought-out backstory.
This character is pending. The submitter must review the list of edits above and bump the thread with a post signaling it is ready for review.
No sweat, Kim. We're going to have to wait to approve this one though; Doc needs to explain some things.
Altairkri Pearl
Inactive Member
done making the changes.
This character is approved for IC usage.
