RP: Lorath [Lorath] Want Ads.

[DocTomoe]

Lorath General Transmission.
To Be Posted On: PANTHEON Daily News Report Want Ads, Nepleslian News Publication Want Ads.
Subject: Recruitment.
Sender: Occhesta Communications Department.

Greetings from; the Lorath Occhesta Caste Communications Department. Currently the Lorath are suffering from a shortage of trained scientific engineers and developers. We are actively seeking out trained individuals who can invent and aid in the production of modern equipment for:

Farming, Gun Smithing, Starship Production, Starship Equipment, Communications Systems, Planetary Defense Nets, Hydrogen Gas Harvesting, Mining Equipment, Advanced Medical Care, and other advanced sciences.

We are also seeking individuals whom are qualified to serve as:

Mechanical engineers, starship builders, hydroponics engineers, civil peace keepers, ground infantry, civil engineers, and other exciting jobs.

Please contact; Lorath Occhesta Caste Communications Department, Junior Recruiting Adjutant Octave Urdan Occhesta. – Lor System.

End Transmission.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lorath General Transmission.
To Be Posted On: PANTHEON Daily News Report Want Ads, Nepleslian News Publication Want Ads.
Subject: Marketing.
Sender: Occhesta Communications Department.

Greetings from; the Lorath Occhesta Caste Communications Department. Recently, our people have become introduced to interplanetary contact and trade, and we would like to open trade with those whom are willing. We are currently offering Lorath made products to both civilian and military individuals and organizations.

We also offer raw materials, building lots, and salvage rights.

To have a catalog transmitted to you or your organization, please send a request to; Lorath Occhesta House Communications Department, Junior Marketing Adjutant Weares Ladar Occhesta.

Catalog Contents:
Hand Cannon.
Lorath Gatling Weapon.
Control Collar.
Awareness Altering Gum 1KS a pack.
Nutritional supply packs. 50 KS Each.
Bacterial Power Packs. Large: 100 KS, Medium: 50 KS, Small: 10 KS.
Lorath Motor Vehicle "Lo-Car": 12,000 KS.
Lorath Motor Vehicle "Lo-Moto": 10,000 KS.
Lorath Rocket Propelled Antimatter Delivery System: 5,000 KS. 1000 KS Per 1KT Warhead. 50 KS Per Low Yeild Warhead. (Export Fees Included)

End Transmission.

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Lorath General Transmission.
To Be Posted On: Corporate News Report Publications, Nepleslian Marketing Ads.
Subject: Work Force.
Sender: Lmanel Communications Department.

Greetings from; the Lorath Lamanel Communications Department. Recently our people have sustained a massive political change which has resulted in a surplus of unemployed individuals. We would like to provide jobs to these individuals. We hereby offer a service of providing you or your organization groups of our Helashio population as a dependable work force. These individuals currently have no training but are easily able to be trained to operate machinery, carry out physical labor, or provide personal care. Each Helashio worker comes with a tracking and communication collar which allows for communication between the employer and the worker.

Please note, we are not offering these individuals as expendable labor, or as property. It is our intent to provide these individuals with reliable food and shelter that they are willing to work for.

To cover the charge of transportation and care for each worker during transport, we request a 1000 KS payment for each requested worker, payable to the Lmanel Caste.

To have a catalog of available individuals, please contact: Lorath Lmanel Communications Department, Senior Population Allocation Engineer Fidelity Nalar Lmanel. To Order an upgraded collar design, please contact; Junior Equipment Distributor Sadi Nalar Lmanel.

End Transmission.

 

[Toshiro]

TO: Lorath Occhesta House Communications Department, Junior Marketing Adjutant Weares Ladar Occhesta


I am the Captain of a small but growing civilian salvage and rescue operation. Your offer of salvage rights, as well as perhaps raw materials, interests me greatly.

I request that a catalog be transmitted to me for more information. I was planning to come to Lor shortly anyway.


Captain Yuki Toshiro
SRSS Yggdrasill

 

[DocTomoe]

TO: Lorath Occhesta House Communications Department, Junior Marketing Adjutant Weares Ladar Occhesta


I am the Captain of a small but growing civilian salvage and rescue operation. Your offer of salvage rights, as well as perhaps raw materials, interests me greatly.

I request that a catalog be transmitted to me for more information. I was planning to come to Lor shortly anyway.


Captain Yuki Toshiro
SRSS Yggdrasill

To: Captain Yuki Toshiro, SRSS Yggdrasill.
Sender: Lorath Occhesta House Communications Department, Junior Marketing Adjutant Weares Ladar Occhesta.

Thank you for contacting us, we are glad to have interest in our salvage rights sales program.

Currently, we are offering salvage rights in the following formats:

Government Service License: 1000 KS will purchase you and your crew a "Lorath Salvage Departmentâ€

 

[FM]

Meanwhile, aboard the Sojourner-class Remnant, somewhere in deep space...

Mora was staring at a fusion microreactor as the statistics rolled down the display in his glasses. He frowned slightly; the power output was still too low to fully power what he had in mind. But then, it wasn't like he was really too disappointed; strewn throughout the current bay were countless half-finished devices and test equipment for projects that were left forgotten.

His peace was interrupted as a claxon rang out begging his attention from the violet sensor strips along the walls. "Yes, Seraphim?" he answered, without taking his eyes off the reactor.

"I've found something interesting in the PANTHEON classified listings, Mora, that you really should take a look at." A hint of exasperation was in Aria's voice as she popped up the Lorath's want ad overtop his test numbers.

"Rather rude way of showing that to me, Aria." But still, the scientist shut off the reactor and looked at the ad. "Hm...yes...I don't see why you showed this to me, Aria. This seems like small business to me. They're looking for line workers."

You haven't had any business, you fucking headcase. "Read between the fucking lines, all right? If you didn't rely on me to do all your research, you might actually get somewhere. See, the Lorath want to develop technology quickly to defend themselves from the Mishhuvurthyar, who recently decimated their homeworld. And I'm willing to bet they'll give us anything to get it." The sensor strips blinked faintly as she spoke, to the tone of her voice. For all her hatred of and anger toward him, she did have an obligation to her owner to help him in his endeavors.

And Mora gave a smile, yellow eyes staring at the sensor strips as though they were Aria's own body. "Well, in that case, Grey Seraphim, set a course for the Lor system! In the meantime, I'll send them a letter. Ahem..."

To: Junior Recruiting Adjutant Octave Urdan Occhesta c/o Lorath Occhesta Caste Communications Department
From: Stalwart Defender, CEO, Stalwart Defense Industries, LLC

Greetings! You may call me Stalwart Defender. I am owner and CEO of Stalwart Defense Industries, registered under Nepleslian law, of which data is attatched. Our base of operations is the cargo vessel Remnant, Yamataian registry, currently located about 15 lightyears southwest of Neplesia.

Your recruitment opportunities intrigue our company, and we would be happy to discuss making a deal with you to share our engineering knowledge. In fact, we would be quite willing to help you reverse-engineer technology you wish to develop your own variations of. Our current scientific staff has knowledge of a great deal of modern technology from Neplesia and Yamatai, which we would be willing to share.

Naturally, of course, such a partnership would have to be discussed in person, but we have already set course to the Lor system and are en route. If you would please arrange accomodations for two, to meet with the proper government officials, it would be much appreciated.

With pleasure,
Stalwart

(The attatched corporate data is fully valid, however the company is several million KS in debt and the CEO, named Fusegu Mora, is the only employee listed. The ship itself looks normal, if in disrepair, with only minor modifications in the form of cargo loading arms...and a curious system listed as the 'ARIA Control System', with such dependancies as sensor strips along the ship's corridors. The registry is valid, however, it has not been renewed.)

 

[DocTomoe]

To: Stalwart Defender, CEO, Stalwart Defense Industries, LLC
From: Junior Recruiting Adjutant Octave Urdan Occhesta c/o Lorath Occhesta Caste Communications Department

We thank you for taking interest in our scientist recruitment program. We will dispatch an escort and will escort you to our Kathra Station. Upon arrival, we will discuss what you would like to contribute to our government and people.

Additional note; We do not have debt collectors on our planet.

With Welcoming Arms;
Junior Recruiting Adjutant Octave Urdan Occhesta

 

[Toshiro]

TO: Lorath Occhesta House Communications Department, Junior Marketing Adjutant Weares Ladar Occhesta


I will purchase a level of salvage rights, though which one remains to be seen. I need an idea of what kinds of salvage are available. Looking up your planet indicates that there have been Yamataian and Mishhu battles all over the area. I will have to weigh the safety of my vessel and any components I would store at Lor with the highest end plan against the potential yield of said program.

I will get back to you with my decision relatively shortly.

Also, please give me data on the Raw Materials which you mentioned.


Captain Yuki Toshiro
SRSS Yggdrasill

 

[DocTomoe]

To: Captain Yuki Toshiro
Sender: Lorath Occhesta House Communications Department, Junior Marketing Adjutant Weares Ladar Occhesta.

Thank you for your continued interest in our salvage rights program. Currently we have Yamataian and Misshu wreckage which is scattered through our star system and surrounding nebula. Along with this wreckage, there are Lorath made vessels and satellites which were lost in our space. Currently, there is a mine field which blocks off safe passage in and out of our system, but our government has began the safe removal of the mines from our space, and has cleared a corridor for safe passage through the northern section of our nebula. The exact navigation instructions will be enclosed with this message. Along with our space wreckage, we also have wreckage scattered upon the surface of our home world. The wreckage upon the surface of Lor covers a broad spectrum of interests, from lost belongings, to space vessels which had been unable to leave the surface. On the subject of profits, we are willing to offer a percentage of the value for each recovered item if it is of use to our people. If a recovered item is of great use to our people in comparison to most other wreckage, an additional reward may be awarded to you and your crew.

You have also communicated an interest in our raw materials program, thank you for taking interest in this offer. Currently our mining and shipping program is on hold due to extenuating circumstances. Due to this, we are offering rights to carry out mining operations upon our asteroid belt, and our system's third planet, a volcanic world, rich in mineral resources. We are offering several mining license programs which would permit your vessel to exploit this bounty of mineral resources. Our licensing programs are as follows:

Government Service License: 1000 KS, for the duration of one month, your vessel and crew is granted permission to gather up to one hundred pounds of processed precious gemstones, one ton of refined precious metals, twenty tons of refined semi-precious metals, and one hundred tons of refined common metals. All materials mined must be delivered to the Lorath Mineral Resource Department. You and your crew will be granted payment dependant on the quantity and quality of the materials delivered. Catalogs representing the quantity of unrefined and refined materials mined must be provided.

Government Service License II: 5000 KS, for the duration of three months, your vessel and crew is granted permission to gather up to five hundred pounds of processed precious gemstones, five tons of refined precious metals, one hundred tons of refined semi-precious metals, and five hundred tons of refined common metals. All materials mined must be delivered to the Lorath Mineral Resource Department. You and your crew will be granted payment dependant on the quantity and quality of the materials delivered. Catalogs representing the quantity of unrefined and refined materials mined must be provided.

Private Miner's License: 100,000 KS, for the duration of one month, your vessel and crew is granted permission to gather up to one hundred pounds of processed precious gemstones, one ton of refined precious metals, twenty tons of refined semi-precious metals, and one hundred tons of refined common metals. All materials mined must be delivered to the Lorath Mineral Resource Department for processing. You and your crew will be granted ownership of the materials unless they are of great importance to the Lorath government, in such a situation, you and your crew will be granted a payment for the materials. Catalogs representing the quantity of unrefined and refined materials mined must be provided.

Private Miner's License II: 500,000 KS, for the duration of three months, your vessel and crew is granted permission to gather up to five hundred pounds of processed precious gemstones, five tons of refined precious metals, one hundred tons of refined semi-precious metals, and five hundred tons of refined common metals. All materials mined must be delivered to the Lorath Mineral Resource Department for processing. You and your crew will be granted ownership of the materials unless they are of great importance to the Lorath government, in such a situation, you and your crew will be granted a payment for the materials. Catalogs representing the quantity of unrefined and refined materials mined must be provided.

Long Term Package: 1,000,000 KS, for the duration of one year, your crew will be granted an "Unlimited Government Service License", as the name implies, you will be permitted to mine an indefinite amount of materials which will be delivered to the Lorath government. Payment for the materials will be given to you and your crew. With the long term package, purchase of a "Private Miner's License I" would be reduced to 75,000 KS and a "Private Miner's License II" would be reduced to 250,000 KS. During the duration of the "Long Term Package", you and your crew will be granted a storage lot, landing lot, refueling, re-supply, and quarters upon any one of our planets.

Equipment Package I: 10,000 KS Will purchase your mining equipment and a workforce for the duration of one month. This will also cover rental of transportation for minerals gathered and your loaned workforce.

Equipment Package II: 50,000 KS Will purchase your mining equipment and workforce for the duration of six months. This will also cover rental of transportation for minerals gathered and your loaned workforce.

Please note, all slag from processing of minerals and gemstones must also be delivered to the Lorath Mineral Resource Department. Slag will not be counted towards your payload limits. Additionally, a KS reward of 500 KS per ton of slag is available.

Information regarding preferred cuts to be placed on precious gems and sizes of ingots of minerals will be provided along with this message.

We thank you for your continued interest in our salvage and mining programs.

 

[Toshiro]

TO: Lorath Occhesta House Communications Department, Junior Marketing Adjutant Weares Ladar Occhesta


Part of the reason for my interest in the raw materials operation is the ability to retain ownership of the non-precious metals for basic construction purposes. Is there a way I can retain ownership of those specific metals on the Government Service License?

Also, I believe I will purchase the Long Term Package for the salvaging option. However, I also have another ship which may eventually be used to salvage as well. Will having several ships cost extra?


Captain Yuki Toshiro
SRSS Yggdrasill

 

[DocTomoe]

To: Captain Yuki Toshiro
Sender: Lorath Occhesta House Communications Department, Junior Marketing Adjutant Weares Ladar Occhesta.

Unfortunately, there is no way to grant ownership of the materials in question when operating under the Government Service Licence. It may be possible to negotiate your request in detail upon arrival.

As for your interest in our salvaging program, we will be charging you an additional fee dependant upon the size and model of the additional vessels. We assure you that this fee is no greater than the initial fee, and will be adjusted according to the function of the vessel which you will be using. We will require information about the additional vessel, and we will then be able to calculate the added fee.

Thank you for your continued interest.

 

[Toshiro]

TO: Lorath Occhesta House Communications Department, Junior Marketing Adjutant Weares Ladar Occhesta


The vessel I would be bringing in addition to the Yggdrasill is an Equine designed by Nova Corp. It is currently in a state of disrepair, but I plan to eventually repair and perhaps make minor enhancements. In the default configuration, it is a civilian freighter.


Captain Yuki Toshiro
SRSS Yggdrasill

 

[DocTomoe]

To: Captain Yuki Toshiro
Sender: Lorath Occhesta House Communications Department, Junior Marketing Adjutant Weares Ladar Occhesta.

After reviewing our computer records regarding that class of vessel, we conclude that an additional fee of 500 KS would be required to permit the vessel in question to join your salvage group.

Additionaly, we are willing to offer a repair service to this vessel aboard one of our Antaeus class battleships, where we would be able to fully repair and restore the vessel within the span of an hour. We are willing to offer this service for the cost of 7,500 KS.

 

[Toshiro]

TO: Lorath Occhesta House Communications Department, Junior Marketing Adjutant Weares Ladar Occhesta


While appealing, that figure is half the cost of a brand new Equine. I believe I have the technical expertise necessary to fix the vessel, though it will take more time. Also, I will likely be adding custom components.

However, I do appriciate your offer. You have been particularly pleasant and accomodating to do business with, and I will be purchasing the Long Term Package with the additional fee for the Equine. 50,500 KS has been credited to you.


Captain Yuki Toshiro
SRSS Yggdrasill

 

[DocTomoe]

To: Captain Yuki Toshiro
Sender: Lorath Occhesta House Communications Department, Junior Marketing Adjutant Weares Ladar Occhesta.

Thank you for chosing our long term salvage package. Your purchase has been aknowleged, and you have been granted clearance to begin salvage within our space at your leisure. You are also cleared for landing at our desert moon colony. Please be sure to communicate all flight plans prior to take off and landing to prevent confusion.

Any additional instructions will be relayed upon a later time. Have a nice day, and happy salvaging.

Attached to the message are a series of cordinants indicating the location of the assigned landing pad which has been rented out by Toshiro and his crew. Also included are directions indicating the safest and fastest route to the desert moon above the gas giant of the Lor system, and a map indicating charted fields of wreckage. Along with these essential tidbits of information, a free publication of "The Lorath Merchant's Catalog" and the "Beginner's Guide to Speaking Lorath".

 

[FM]

Approaching the station in orbit above Lor was Stalwart's Remnant, with the corporate markings of Stalwart's dummy corp, SDI. Having arrived there after a long trip, Stalwart himself was still asleep, and the docking procedures were handled by the strangely faithful computer Aria.

Stalwart was awakened by a klaxon and quickly dressed himself, Aria meeting him at the docking hatch as they both opened the door. Aria was carrying two large suitcases and Stalwart was dressed in his 'man of science' lab coat.

As soon as Stalwart stepped from his vessel, he was greeted by a man clad in blue robes, his short white hair was adorned with blue tips. When he saw Stalwart, he gave a short bow. "Greetings, we were informed by your ship's AI that we were to expect you. Welcome to Kathra station."

"I would ask you not to refer to me as 'the ship's AI'. I have a name, you know. It's Aria." The bodysuit-clad woman beside Stalwart glared slightly at the man; but clearly, she took the time to research. Her words were spoken in perfect Lorath.

"Thank you for allowing me to come here, sir. As you may no doubt have guessed, I am Stalwart." He spoke with a smile as he adjusted his glasses. "And you are?"

"Pardon Aria, I apologize for my lack of information in regards to how to address you." The blue robe clad Lorath then looked to Stalwart. "Greetings Stalwart, you can address me as Gravi. I understand our scientist recruitment program has brought you here?"

"Indeed, Gravi. I'm interested in the benefits it will give my business." Stalwart bowed to Gravi. "Will we be meeting with your government? I have things I'd like to show you."

After a moment or so, a looming shadow came over the group. A rather tall Fyunnen strode up to meet the group, her hands each rested on the grip of a sword. She simply stood back and allowed the two to speak, but was ready to act if needed.

Aria too carried a blade, and eyed the Fyunnen carefully.

"We would like you to produce some examples of your work prior to your meeting with any high ranking officials. Simple blueprints, models, functional models, or even scale models would suffice. We don't want to bother the higher ups unless we need to. They're quite busy as of late. Oh.. and I'd like to introduce one of our heads of station security, she is here as an observer."

The red head bowed her had slightly before she spoke. "I am Wisp." Was all the larger woman said.

"I don't mind. Both of you are great sights to behold." Stalwart's smile never changed. "Take us to the proper meeting room so that we may properly show our devices.

"What kinds of devices are they, and are they functional?" With that question, Gravi reached into a pocket of his robe and pulled out a PDA like device which held a display of available rooms inside of the station. "I'll choose a room depending on the devices to be demonstrated."

"I am afraid I only have one functional prototype, however I have a myriad of blueprints and documents to show you." Stalwart noted one of the briefcases Aria was carrying and took it into his hand. "It's an infantry arms weapon, the Quad Barr-"

"Stalwart Special," Aria interrupted.

"Function?" Gravi asked as he narrowed the list of rooms to the firing ranges.

"Thank you, Aria. It's a linear-type weapon with high-penetration capabilities and a compact form factor; but most importantly a low cost of manufacture."

"Mmm... I see. We'll head to one of our test ranges which we use for longer range weapons." Gravi tapped at the PDA in his grasp for a moment before he nodded to Stalwart. "If you and Aria would accompany us, we'd like to see your prototype in action." Gravi gave a small nod to the pair before he began to stroll down the corridor. The large armor clad woman was left behind, and would follow behind the group.

The two followed the official, Stalwart still smiling while Aria grumbled.

After walking through a series of corridors, the blue robe clad Lorath stopped at a pair of large doors. After keying in a short security code, the doors slid open to reveal a firing range which was about 45 meters in length, and twenty in width. A series of gatling weapons and large caliber bolt action rifles were placed behind metal mesh lockers. "This is one of our testing ranges... we'll test the weapon's penetration capabilities." Gravi then moved to a nearby panel, after some tapping at the control pad. A trap door on the far end of the range opened and three solid metal sheets ascended from the floor. One was a light grey of steel, the second was a whiteish grey of a titanium alloy, and the final sheet was a dark grey of neutronium. "Please fire at each."

Stalwart opened the suitcase to reveal the weapon. It looked something like a cross between a shotgun and a rifle, though it lacked the stock in the rear. Quickly he loaded the weapon, first the battery, then the needles. Turning on the targeting system and linking it to his glasses, he took aim at the first sheet and fired. The impact was clearly seen as two holes in the steel. He then turned, targeted the second sheet, and fired. It penetrated that sheet too. The third sheet was not penetrated, but it did leave very large dents within it. "As you can see, the Stalwart Special is a highly effective weapon against lightly armored targets, and still effective against targets with heavier armor. As an infantry weapon it carries a good power-to-size ratio and its manufacture price should make it enticing for your forces."

"Mmm... is there a chance that you could make a variant small enough to be used as a pistol?" Gravi asked as he looked down range with a raised brow. Mmm, interesting, but not impressive yet. But it is interesting enough.

"I'm afraid not. Linear-type weapons require a certain size to be effective." Stalwart placed the weapon back into the suitcase. "This weapon got me into a lot of trouble. Zen Armaments sent a mercenary after me to steal it. This weapon shattered his femur in a single shot."

Aria opened the second suitcase; inside were several data discs. In Lorath, she said, "I have taken the liberty of translating and converting these notes and blueprints for you, so you can more easily use them with your computer systems and your analysts may better understand them."

"Mm... it sounds like you tend to cause trouble where you go." Gravi noted with Stalwart's mention of Zen and mercenaries. "The data is much appreciated, we'll only access it after making our deal though." Gravi pulled another PDA from his robe, this one a much more simplified device. "We're willing to offer you..." Gravi scribbled down a number and some other values and presented it to Stalwart. On the pad, was a KS offer of 100,000 KS per one hundred units sold to Non-Lorath organizations. An additional offer of three months of room and board, along with a lab with supplies was provided.

"I'm afraid that SDI is a design firm. We do not have manufacturing capability. We are perfectly willing, however, to work with your government and related associations to help you develop the technology you require."

Stalwart coughed before continuing. "I believe we have a stipulation for our deal...some time with your genetics experts, and a new ship. One that is faster, tougher, and...sexier? That is what you said, right?"

Aria nodded briefly.

"Right, sexier. She doesn't particularly like being a...did you say 'slow-ass cargo cow'? I believe she did."

"Mm... since you won't be able to manufacture your weapon. We will have to reduce that KS offer to half of what is stated, but we will still offer the lab and supplies. You'll have to speak to my superiors about a space vessel, and about the genetics programs we offer. For the moment though, I am able to offer room, board, a place to dock your vessel, and a solid currency offer..." Gravi then reached into his robes and pulled out a small leather pouch. He then handed it to Stalwart. The pouch seemed to weigh about a pound in the reduced gravity of the station.

Inside of the pouch is a treasure trove of flawless diamonds, a variant of sapphire, and a rather beautiful ruby red gem which glowed within the dark confines of the pouch.

Aria briefly licked her lips as Stalwart pocketed it, replying afterward. "Then consider it a deal! I would suggest you have your superiors look over the data. It's all simply examples, nothing you could steal for manufacture yourselves. Just to make sure you'll still need me."

"So, Gravi, lead the way."

"Of course." Gravi nodded to Stalwart before making his way out of the test range. "I'll be sure to send the data along to my superiors. But from what I see here, I can tell you that we're glad to welcome you to our scientist recruitment program, and we're also glad to welcome you to Lorath space. While you are here, be sure to be comfortable, and do not worry about those matters of Zen and Mercenaries which you have mentioned, you're safe and sound for the moment."

"I like it already!" Stalwart and Aria said in unison.

From behind the group, Wisp hmphed and grinned a little."While you are on this station, nothing besides my house will harm you, and that will only be for a good reason. Stay in line, and you won't have anything to worry about, understood?" Wisp's voice was rather commanding.

"Excellent." Gravi said as they moved along the corridors of the station.

"Lay one finger on either of us, Wisp, and I will decimate half your house," Aria said with a toothy grin and her hand on her blade.

Wisp simply rolled her eyes and shook her head, her loose hair shaking with her as she let out a sigh.

"Now now... I think we're all just in a sour mood, Aria, you've been traveling far too long, and Wisp here has not had a good lunch yet.. I propose we sit down for mid day meal. Do you mind that we tend to have hour long lunches with four courses?"

"Not at all," Stalwart said. "It'll be good to interact more with such a handsome race." The way he said those words might make Gravi rethink his decision. A pervert scientist and a violent computer? This could just be trouble...