What's new
  • If you were supposed to get an email from the forum but didn't (e.g. to verify your account for registration), email Wes at [email protected] or talk to me on Discord for help. Sometimes the server hits our limit of emails we can send per hour.
  • Get in our Discord chat! Discord.gg/stararmy
  • 📅 July 2024 is YE 46.5 in the RP.

Lorath "Zahl" Class Cruiser.

DocTomoe

DocTomoe

Inactive Member
1. About the [Zahl]

The Zahl is intended to be used as the backbone of the new LSDF. The Zahl class Cruiser is intended to serve as a warship and patrol vessel which would also serve as a proving ground for new Lorath ship building technology and engineering.

Due to the Zahl being the first dedicated space warship that the Lorath have produced, the mission profile of the Zahl is currently quite vague, thus, the Zahl's assignments range from delivery of precious cargo, to waging full scale assaults at a moment's notice.

2. History and Background

Through the use of cutting edge Lorath designs, and the leap in engineering methods which have been introduced through contact with the YSE, the Lorath have managed to bring their Zahl Cruiser into existence. Prior to the YSE's influence, the Zahl Cruiser was just in its early planning stages, a mere dream made from ink and paper.

After the Misshu assault on Lor, and to uphold the Lorath's agreement that they would defend themselves, the Lorath Self Defense Force has developed the Zahl from the planning stages, to production. This has mainly been accomplished through the use of QnS ship building facilities. Additionally, the QnS documentation that came with these facilities allowed the Lorath to incorporate a number of QnS technological innovations in their cruiser, which range from basic component design, to some entire systems.

Since the destruction of the Taiie system, and the increased Misshu activity surrounding the Southern Nebula, and Lor, the Lorath have decided to focus more of their resources to the restoration of the QnS equipment to construct their cruisers, and allocating more personnel to oversee the construction of these vessels.

3. Dimensions and Crew Compliment

Organizations Using This Vessel:
Lorath Space Militia

Type: Cruiser
Class: Zahl Class Cruiser.
Designer:
Occhesta House
Velor Tomoe Tur'Lista
Manufacturer: Lorath Occhesta House
Production: Limited Production in YE 29, Production estimated to increase by YE 30

In the frame of time within a week of the Taiie system's explosion, the Lorath have only one Zahl class vessel near completion, several additional Zahl class vessels are in production. Large scale production is estimated to take place near the beginning of YE30 when the Yamatai loaned QnS shipyard and building equipment is restored to full operational capacity. Thanks to the mostly automated operation of QnS equipment, the Lorath are able to operate their shipyards and equipment with a skeleton crew, and a group of space trained Helashio workers. Due to the automated features, the Lorath can continue their planetary recovery efforts, while simultaneously bringing their fleet production into full swing.

YE29 Estimated Production: 5 Zahl Class Cruisers.
First Quarter YE30 Estimated Production: 75 Zahl Class Cruisers.
Extended YE30 Projection: 150 Zahl Class Cruisers.

Estimates based upon the usage of a single QnS shipyard, does not account for additional shipyards or construction devices.

Crew: 4 - 12. (6 Would be standard complement, 4 would be the minimum requirement without computer automation.)
Maximum Capacity: 30 (Not counting crew in stasis).
Appearance: The appearance of the vessel as seen from above is of a crescent like shape with an extension that is like that of a neck, that leads to a some what triangular shaped section that houses the bridge of the vessel.

Length: 185 Meters.
Width: 125 Meters. (Without wingtip extensions)
Height: 42 Meters.
Decks: 4.5
Mass: 2,750,600 ~ 2,890,000 kg

4. Performance Statistics

Speed (STL): .80 C / 239 833.9664 kilometer/second. (.9002 If safeties are disabled, engine burnout would result in 3 minutes.)
Speed (Subspace Wave Drive): 1975 C
Speed (Borrowed Fold Drive / (QnS) Hyperspace Fold In Select Ships. Limited Production): 2,350,110c
Speed (Aerial): Mach 3.

Range (Distance): Range is limited by the lifetime of the vessel.
Range (Support): The vessel can travel for a period of eight months without resupply.
Lifespan: Estimated at 25 years without refits.
Refit Cycle: Refits are carried out at the earliest convenience; mandatory refits are carried out every two years.

5. Inside the [Zahl]

Bridge: The Bridge of the Zahl is located in the forward section of the vessel on the second deck. The bridge is shaped in a trapezoid like shape. Two "pitsâ€
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
Firstly - Super Luminal velocities do not translate in to high impact. You're using a distortion based form of drive and the speed in which you are travelling as far as kinetic energy is concerned is in fact far below the speed of light.

Secondly - No, 1 GT is still far too low.

You really can't just 'attach' a White Beam module - not understanding the science behind it and being able to back engineer and attach it properly would be likely to lead to a catastrophic failure most likely anihilating your ship.
 
I've added the Psionics Scrambler device, cryogenic pods, and small craft. The Zahl is ready for evaluation now.

An additional note is that the small craft complement of the Zahl is subject to change depending upon future developments of technology submissions.
 
I'm not really digging the hyperspace drive. What's up with that?

Also, the white beam ranges are excessive (even if they are copied from older stuff).
 
The hyperdrive issue can easily be explained. The technology is borrowed from QnS design, and the number which I put there had one too many zeros at the end. (Oops)

As for the White Beams, I reduced the range of them by half.
 
Another change, I reduced the speed of the hyperfold... I need to know what I NEED to change, and the IC reasons why, then I will see what I can do about it. I am not wanting to make cannon fodder here though.
 
Wes is probably not explaining that the Hyperspace speed is still too high.

I don't think most YSE ships break one million times light speed.

EDIT: Though, to be a reminder. The person in charge of approving technology should really POINT OUT WHAT IS WRONG TO ADDRESS THE PROBLEM AND NOT JUST SAY NOT APPROVED. Ettiqute works both ways Wes.
 
Cora said:
Wes is probably not explaining that the Hyperspace speed is still too high.

I don't think most YSE ships break one million times light speed.

EDIT: Though, to be a reminder. The person in charge of approving technology should really POINT OUT WHAT IS WRONG TO ADDRESS THE PROBLEM AND NOT JUST SAY NOT APPROVED. Ettiqute works both ways Wes.
Click to expand...

https://stararmy.com/starships/qns/wakiz ... shi_4.html - QnS technology, lol. I nerfed the Zahl's speed very hard... but I guess it is not enough.

So, I will be blunt, what do you want me to break and weaken the thing into? So I don't have to edit a million times out of guess work.
 
If you want things that are wrong I'll give it a go:

1, You use 'is intended' twice in the first paragraph. I advise using something else.

2, I'm sort of surprised that the QIS aren't mentioned in the history given that your ship relies on them for many of their systems.

3, Very fast STL you've got there.

4, Main Crew Quarters: On what decks are the crew quarters? It woul also be nice to know exactly how many each one roomed.

5, Captain's Quarters: What deck? No computer in the room? What's a 'pit bed'?

6, Break Rooms: You might want to make the Break rooms defenable - they seem like a natural place to hold up.

7, Break Rooms: You may want to give us an example of the first aid equipment. Also is there some way a calm atmosphere is enforced for rest and relaxation? Is there a bed on which to rest? Actually is there any furniture at all? Where's the first aid equipment stored?

8, Small Arms Storage: Shouldn't be approved until we know what's in it. Can't be RPed without that.

9, Your 'nerve impulse recognition lock' doesn't work. While brain signals are different the signals we send to our muscles are largely the same. The DNA and palm readers seem a better idea but doesn't allow for the possibility of a prisoner or a amputated hand.

10, Heavy Armoury - Same problem - except now it's even easier to break into.

11, What deck is it located on?

12, You won't lift Neutronium with hydraulics. A spoonful of neutronium weighs as much as a mountain making it a largely useless substance - if you don't believe me you can look it up.

13, Mess hall: How's the food served?

14, Kitchen: How many people are required to man the kitchen?

15, Main science: It's Volumetric image no Holographic. I've posted about this before.

16, What is in the sealed lab?

17, Sickbay: The magnetic plate would make the tools stick to each other and in many ways inhibit their purposes. It would also destroy anything which had electronic components most likely.

18, Negative atmosphere? Going to have to explain that to me.

19, Small Craft Repair: How do you repair? How do the craft get it?

20, Baths and Showers: How many are there of each, how are they divided?

21: Attachment points: How do they attach?

22, Quartermaster Office: If you have this office what's the point of a lock? And in the event of an assault won't the blast shutters rather get in the way of defending the vessel?

23, Toilets: Any difference for sexes? How many toilets are they? Sounds rather strange to plan for a zero-g environment. In that circumstance crapping is going to be the last thing on their mind.

24, Computer room: Which individuals do require it? Why don't you use access codes on other locks?

25, Is there anything uniform in the Captain's office? A console perhaps?

26, Panic Room: How powerful is the shield? how does the sensor jammer work? Any protocols behind it?

27, Laundry: How do the cleaning (and especially the decontamination) machines work?

28, Soldier's Bunks: Some details about what's in this would be great. You know something that would actually allow RP to take place inside.

29, Launch Bay: I servery doubt that neutronium is magnetic. Or that you'd get a magnetic system capable of lifting that much. Remember - one spoonful = several hundred thousand tonnes.

30, Is this where the armours are stored? If so - how?

31, Independent data on the maintenance bay, decontamination and locker room would be great.

32, Maintenance Shafts: I'm not sure it's good English to say that they are 'evacuated of air' - that suggests that air is people.

33, Hull: Again with the Nuetronium. Here's an interesting link: http://www.physicsforums.com/archive/in ... 38271.html

34, Airlocks: How exactly does the airlock system work? Sort of important to know of you're going to RP entering the vessel.

35, Warrior Storage: Cryogenic still isn't the right word. What you're looking for is Cryonics. As I've already explained.

36, Attachment Points: How do they attach?

37, Shield: EM can't protect against Scalar. That's sort of the point of scalar.

38, FTL Drive: What is actually your energy source?

39, Computer System: ... You have a version of MEGAMI? The greatest Computer of SA? On this ship? Isn't that a bit much?

40, Sensors: Details about the sensors and ranges would be good.

41, APC: Again, what is the power core?

______________________

That's all I can think of at the moment.
 
Darn it Chris, your last post just ushered you to new levels of unbelievable inane criticism.

Zakalwe took the time to address the main concern that was had by Tomoe; the lack of criticism. And now you come and ridicule that? I don't know if you're aware of it, but it makes you look particularly, almost unbelievably dumb at the moment. To me, it just looks like you don't know what you really want.

Thomas went through what he saw reading back on the entire entry and commented on it as some points came to his attention. Rather than complaining about how those points seem stupid, why not just focus on improving the submission itself. Or rather let Tomoe do that and keep silent when you can't bloody say anything constructive.
 
I'll give a bit of response for Zakalwe, for the moment I've responded to the first fourteen issues. I've not the time at the moment to continue working on the rest.

#1. Wording is irrelevent, unless in causes confusion.

#2. I don't believe the ship relies on QIS tech as much as you might. However there might be room for a mention of QIS/QnS influence.

#3. The Lorath have already have had faster STL than this, pre-Yamatai, and pre-QnS.

#4. The second deck, see the diagram of the second deck at the bottom of the submission, look for number 17 on it, from the layout I assume it to be eight people.

#5. Again second deck, see the map number 18. As for the bed I don't think it takes a fair amount of immagination to figure out what a pit bed is.

#6. Good suggestion.

#7. A sentance or two can cover this.

#8. Nothing is in it, it is an empty locker until otherwise noted. It can later be filled with whatever approved weaponry the Lorath have access to.

#9. The hand pad should probably activate a seperate brianwave scanner, this fixes the major problem. As for severed hands I know that some modern irl hand scanners are also able to check density(which is likely to change should the hand be severed), this should/could be added to the discription.

#11. The second deck, agian see the diagram of the second deck, number 13.

#12. Neutronium is a substance which is already used in the RP with no such problems, from ships to being part of the armour of a Phalanx. I think it fits into the category of things such as Zeusanium, athear, scaler weaponry ect...

#13. On plates. Though I did notice that we don't seem to have a kitchen/food storage marked in the extra space around the Mess hall, Tomoe I guess you have to edit that in.

#14. Kitchens don't need to be specifically 'manned', they are used as needed. If a captain decideds to assign someone to a kitchen position that is an IC choice.
 
Kotori said:
Darn it Chris, your last post just ushered you to new levels of unbelievable inane criticism.

Zakalwe took the time to address the main concern that was had by Tomoe; the lack of criticism. And now you come and ridicule that?
Click to expand...

Zakalwe said:
1, You use 'is intended' twice in the first paragraph. I advise using something else.
13, Mess hall: How's the food served?
14, Kitchen: How many people are required to man the kitchen?
16, What is in the sealed lab?
34, Airlocks: How exactly does the airlock system work? Sort of important to know of you're going to RP entering the vessel.
21,36, Attachment Points: How do they attach?
Click to expand...

These are superflous(I think that's the rigth word) questions.
 
Chris: No, they're not. For example: is mess hall food served like a restaurant? A buffet? A mess hall? Does it come out of a thing in the wall?

Tomoe: Many of the "answers" you gave merely avoided the question instead of actually answered it. For example, the pit bed. Wording is important.

Thomas: Thank you for bringing up basically every issue I had with the ship.
 
RPG-D RPGfix
Back
Top