M10 Raider Light Armor

[Sigma]

Submission Type: Military PA
Submission URL:M10 Armor

Faction: Nepleslia
FM Approved Yet? Kinda. Kokuten & Tom since Moonie's away.

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles? No
Previously Submitted? No

Notes:

 

[Kai]

Isn't 10 SP a bit much for a 'light' armor? I understand that it's lighter than most Nepleslian armors, but that's still quite a bit of armoring on it to call it a light armor.

 

[Sigma]

It's the Nepleslians calling it a light armor. Not a standard, universal class category.

 

[Kai]

True, But it is described in the article as being similar in overall size, appearance, and proportion as the Mindy and Daisy, and then stated as being only armored in Durandium. The current generation Mindy is armored in Durandium, with a Yarvex Mesh, and counted as 6 SP. The Daisy is made of a Yamataium/Durandium alloy, and rated at 8 SP.

I'm not saying this cannot be 10 SP and conisedered light by Nepleslian standards, I'm saying that the way it's written now, as a Light armor, using only Durandium in the armor, 10 SP is too much. Either lower the SP, or include some good reasonings ( IE, more structure, a stronger alloy, a second layer of another armor) to make it actually be 10 SP.

 

[Wes]

Going by the materials and description the SP on this should definitely be 6 SP Armor Scale (same as the similar Mindy 2A).

I suggest you ditch the overpowered flight speeds and have it only be fast as a car.

Any systems it shared with other armors should be linked. Ideally the systems would be a list of links to the articles on the systems. Copy-pasted systems descriptions are not allowed.

50 cal machinegun would probably be ADR 2, at best (the larger 35mm machinegun Yamatai uses is only ADR 3)

It's helmet

Fix this please.

 

[Soresu]

I see nerimium on here. Not just Durandium. So unless it was just added, a higher SP is justifiable due to Nerimium being a 'Heavy' armor.

 

[Sigma]

i have just added a second layer with nerimium & durandium. have also changed the description of the carbine after speaking to Fian.

EDIT: Um, are you asking me to make 15 sub-system articles, Wes? It's kinda overcomplicating this when I'm just using the same basic systems as the Hostile, VOID and Aggressor. Must I reinvent the wheel?

 

[Wes]

Any part, system, or weapon that isn't 100% unique to an article should be on a linked, separate page. This has been our policy for a few years now. If two armors are using the same gun, the gun needs its own article.

 

[Sigma]

... I would like to see the exact post with this policy.

The Hostile and Aggressor wiki pages are chock-full of copy-pasta. Was this policy instituted AFTER they were approved?

Are you also saying that instead of working on one PA, I must now update the pages for every single Nepleslian power armor with links? I didn't make these systems so I have no right to give them their own pages.

 

[Soresu]

I think that is starting to complicate matters on what was supposed to be a simple re-hash and tear down of an older model PA, Wes. I see numerous armors and frames on here that do not utilize this 'Policy'.

 

[Wes]

Follow the rules.

The "link to to shared articles" policy has been around since October 3rd, 2008 and "Article must not contain copypasta" has been on the Guide to Submission Review since April 19th, 2009.

 

[Sigma]

I suggest you ditch the overpowered flight speeds and have it only be fast as a car.

That would defeat its purpose as a swift, nimble raider. We have the technology to make a 2.5 ton Aggressor go at Mach 3 in atmosphere. The Mindy travels at up to Mach 1.7. I've reduced the speeds but I don't see the purpose of dumbing the speed down to where most other military-grade power armor can run rings around it. This is meant to operate in both planetary and space combat operations so I feel that its high speeds are justified.

Edits made to power armor systems. Not sure who made those wiki pages but thanks. However, I'm not going to be making wiki pages for the minor subsystems or the UAC. The former aren't worth the effort and the latter is unused in its original form.

 

[Wes]

FYI:

4. It is not a valid argument to justify overpowered or questionable abilities on your submission by pointing to an older submission, especially one of a different faction.

Changing gears, according to our membership....

• 74% said art should be required for starships and vehicles.
• 79% said art should be required for uniforms.
• 52% said art should be required for weapons.

Since this could be counted as one or more of the above, what's the plan for illustration?

 

[Kokuten]

I'll art the armor if Sigma has no other method of commission.

 

[Sigma]

Since when were the stats on the Hostile, Aggressor and Mindy considered overpowered or of questionable abilities? I want to hear the reasoning for why the Hostile & Aggressor speeds are okay while the Raider's speed isn't. I'd especially like to hear why they are either overpowered or questionable when it is, in reality, much slower than any other Power Armor fielded by Nepleslia. In comparison to the Hostile and Aggressor, this thing isn't anywhere near as manly! You're just labeling the speeds "OP/Questionable" and not even justifying it.

Unless it is a requirement to have art, I have no intention to provide it. I have no job and my paypal account has just been locked down because of some security reason. If the planned Reaper can get by without art, I don't see why this cannot.

 

[Soresu]

I'd actually like to see this data regarding these percentages. Because I've done a 'Show New Posts' and see no thread regarding a change in a policy we changed specifically for people who either lack the talent or monetary funds to consistently shell out for art.

 

[Wes]

Since when were the stats on the Hostile, Aggressor and Mindy considered overpowered or of questionable abilities?

I didn't say they were. I'm talking about this submission only. Submissions have to stand on their own, not in comparison to other submissions.

I'd actually like to see this data regarding these percentages.

The 2012 planning survey results were posted in January. Artwork was required, then due to complaints the policy was removed. However, since then, surveys show that the members DO want artwork to be required for certain submissions. A rough sketch, drawing, or DOGA model is something anyone can make. You talk about lacking funds but I'm the one losing over $150 a month to SARP and if this is approved without artwork, it will probably be me that ends up paying to get art for it, unless Kokuten gets it commissioned. At minimum, I'd like to see great detail in the written description so an artist could follow it. If you say it looks like a DAISY, link to the DAISY.


On to the review:

The submitted article is/has…
[ ] A very high level of overall quality
[ ] A general topic sentence under the title header
[ ] Artwork (illustrations are required for Starships, Vehicles, Hand weapons or Small Arms, Uniforms for military forces or large corporations and new alien species not from the race of the day CCG)
[ ] Needed and/or useful to the setting
[ ] In the proper format/template
[X] Proofread for spelling and grammar
[X] Easy to read and understand (not a lengthy mass of technobabble)
[ ] Wikified (terms that could be a link should be a link)
[X] No red and/or broken links
[X] Reasonably scientifically plausible
[X] Reasonably neutral point of view

The submitted article is/does not…
[X] Overpowered (or cutting tech for a faction with little or no roleplay)
[X] Obtusely redundant
[X] Contain copy pasta descriptions of systems or interior compartments
[X] Unauthorized by faction managers or player-controlled corporation
[X] Contain references to IC events that have not occurred (SM must authorize retcons)
[X] Use second-person language (“you” or “your”) unless it is an instructional guide aimed at players.
[X] Use bombastic language (“virtually immune,” “nearly indestructible,” “insanely powerful,” “horrible effects”)
[X] Use an unbalanced header/text ratio (many headers but sections are one-liners)
[X] Use major unapproved sub-articles that should be submitted separately
[X] Lacking Detail
[X] Images hosted on sites other than stararmy.com (Photobucket, Imageshack, etc are not allowed)

The article has…
[NA] Speeds in compliance with the Starship Speed Standard, if applicable
[X] Damage Capacity and Damage Ratings in compliance with the DR Guidelines
[ ] The in-character year of creation/manufacture. (Should be current year. Future years not allowed).
[ ] The Standard Product Nomenclature System, if applicable.

The extremely high temperature of the plasma means that it can pass through thick armor, and is also capable of super-heating the fluids of a living body to such temperature as to cause the skin and flesh to be ripped apart in the resulting steam explosion. In combat, the application of plasma by the user is virtually limitless.

Perhaps it would be better not to describe the effects on the target, beacause the target could be anything?

Isn't there some other small armor used by Nepleslia currently? How many power armor types does Nepleslia currently use and is it more than reasonable?

Please try to remove all the forced line breaks from the article. Most of the items that use them can use bullet lists instead. Note: I see the mecha template is not helping us here, and I will see if we can get it updated soon.

 

[Soresu]

You talk about lacking funds but I'm the one losing over $150 a month to SARP and if this is approved without artwork, it will probably be me that ends up paying to get art for it, unless Kokuten gets it commissioned. At minimum, I'd like to see great detail in the written description so an artist could follow it. If you say it looks like a DAISY, link to the DAISY.

Try not having much money at all Wes. At most I can only afford 100$ a year even then it hurts me. I still think Artwork should not be a requirement for a submission to be approved, for us to have to pay actual money to use a fictional piece of technology. Artwork should be a bonus not an enforced requirement. And we should not have to burden others who may or may not be overworked or stressed just to fulfill that requirement. If they aren't busy sure, if they are then no. And this takes some of the pressure off you even.

 

[Wes]

DOGA is free. And if it has a great description, I can accept that and maybe find an artist. So focus on the other red items.

My main beef with this submission is "is it really necessary to add more PA types to the NSMC lineup?" So if we add something, it should be the highest caliber of wiki material.

 

[Soresu]

I think the issue is that with the Hostile and Aggressor they're too bulky and big, you know suited for prolonged engagements. The M10 is some sort of cut down raider armor so it is a lot slimmer. It looks a lot like a "Get in quick, Get Out." armor.