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Rejected Character Merais Arthina

renako

Inactive Member
3rd Edition ^^;;

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Name: Merais Arthina


General Information

Species: Nepleslian
Gender: Female
Age: 21(?)

Family (or Creators): Tvin Arthina (Mother) [Deceased]

Employer: Self-Employed
Occupation: Doctor
Rank: -
Current Assignment: None.


Physical Characteristics

Height: 6'0"
Weight: 132lbs
Measurements: B88/W58/H87
Bra Size: C

Build and Skin Color: Tan skin color, average build. Might look physically weak due to the lack of sleep but with the use of TaiChi, consider thinking otherwise.

Facial Features and Eye Color: Genetically modified gray eyes, seemly piercing through a person's soul. Usually showing a "I do not care about your worthless existance" glance.

Hair color and Style: White hair, long and smooth, sometimes undity when in a rush. Rarely cuts her hair unless they are really very long.

Distinguishing Features
If you manage to look clearly into her eye, you would find it rid of life. The longer you stare, the more you felt yourself being inflirtated by her.

Psychological Characteristics

Personality: Merais, originally a happy child when under Tvin's care turned into a cold and nearly heartless being. It all started during her stay with the doctor whom she had always been afraid of, everyday facing a voidless man who care much about his research than other beings and having to help carry parts of someone's blooded organs, a normal child would have been too scared to defy orders...As thus Merais. When she was 16, her facial had already adjust to frowning and without expression, it would be hard, just to even see her smile these days for doing so is like a chore to her. Even if she does smile, it can only mean bad things, such as after a failure operation ; "You're going to die soon, enjoy your remaining days."

Merais is very quiet, not to mention she is rather cool with everything. It'd be hard actually to annoy her. Although she doesn't show it, she loves childrens due to their naive personality, which she still hope she had them with her forever. Knowing that soon her body would fail due to the implant she used on herself, she never had the thought of increasing her lifespan.

She had long lost the fear for death as she live day by day, keeping all her thoughts to herself for she knew the spark of war would most likely be unleashed on Nepleslia among the reds and the greens if those plans really work without simulation.


Likes: Sleeping. Yes, just that easy...
Dislikes: Her sensitivity, nearly all part of her surrounding seems to be a threat...
Goals: To just live on...Well, that's that...Right?



History

Born to Tvin Arthina and an unknown father in YE 08 and has be taken care of ever since until YE 14, where Tvin was raped to death infront of Merais by a group of gangsters. She managed to escape unharm and was given a job as an assistant by a doctor whose name she had never known nor dare she asked. The doctor performed many illegal sciences on dead bodies as well as living bodies, occasionally. Merais, knowing that was wrong wishes to quit being an assitant a few months later but continue working for the doctor when he said "This is how some of us have to survive...If you step out of here, I doubt you will be given another chance to sleep in peace."

Merais continued working for the doctor and eventually, on YE 24, the beginning of the Second Draconian War, experimented on her first specimen when the doctor handed her the tools. Shortly, she started having a interest in different kinds of biology and soon become rather well-versed soon after. Just a few days before YE 25, she left the doctor after she was sure, that she can make it in the harsh world.

In her own free time, Merais would look up for military technology knowledge and modified them to work better, using the illegal service of a Computer Cafe, she tested her modification and they had proven to work. She wrote many different thories and designed many blueprints in hope of having them published, however, her ideas was rejected for they deem unable to work.

In the current year, YE 29, Merais used her own body as the test subject for a new genetic modification implant that should help enhance visual aid. It worked however, Merais stopped the project after thinking through the consequences if it was to fall into the hands of a power-hungry goverment. The gene mutation changes her original brown pupils into grey and had been staying even up to now, althought having this sensitivity increase blessing, her body seems to be failing...



Skills

Engineering: Merais had the concept of engineering in her mind all the time. When she was free, she would take a look at parts of Yamatai and Nepleslia technology design and try to improve them. Having drawn a few plans that 'might' work, they were rejected by an organization.

Technology Operation: Having used the hardwares hosted illegally by a computer cafe, Merais is quite good at operating most of the known simulation system.

Rogue: Sometimes being a doctor doesn't mean you get good business...Even if you do, you most likely get robbed before you knew it. Merais knows nearly everything in the area of the capital she is staying in, also trainned in disarming an opponent in a split second with the help of her sensitivity.

Biology: Expert in the field of genetic modification, she owe this knowledge and experience to the doctor she worked for when she was younger. She herself, had also performed illegal genes modification on unexpecting victims in Nepleslia during their medical treatments secretly.

Fighting: Due to the large amount of civil warfare in Nepleslia during her time, she had always been ready to defend herself in case some angry mobs started rioting. Quite skilled in TaiChi as she lacks much of the strength needed to inflict painful blows.

Medical and Science: Merais is well versed in most form of surgery. She earn this experience from her previous employer, who operated illegal genetic modification as well as studies of various species. She also had much contextual knowledge of the organs in each species known in space...For now.

Mathematics: Merais had a good understanding in math as it was considered "The science that draws necessary conclusion in thoeries and pratical". Her knowledge on mathematical biology is impressive.
 
This suggestion has been closed. Votes are no longer accepted.
Welcome to Star Army! Pleasure to have you joining up to our community here. I'm Doshii, for reference's sake.

Other players and moderators will be by to help with your character, but I'll try and point you in the right directions now. At least, I think they're right -- we've been known to go back and forth to come to conclusions.

Don't worry! It's all part of the process.

1. Nepleslian females are, well, incredibly rare. Wes should clear this.

2. 6' and she's only 132? This girl is SKIIIIIINY. And a C cup? Damn.

3.
Distinguishing Features: If you manage to look clearly into her eye, you would find it hollow, the longer you look, the more you felt yourself inflitrated by some unknown force.

What exactly do you mean by hollow? And what unknown force?

4. The personality is long. Not in itself a bad thing. However ... your grammar could use some work. And the history bits in there aren't really necessary.

Life extention?

5. The history ... yeah.

You've done a little work. That's good. We love that here. But you're using terms here that need to be defined.

First -- this modification of military technology is just flat strange. She's a doctor, but she plays around with military hardware, the likes of which she probably couldn't get her hands on? This seems a stretch.

The use of dates is okay. However, be careful with giving your character a detailed history; not only does it strain the eyes of some of the mods, but you're also setting yourself up for knowing about the events that happened during those times. Since you probably don't know, this can be cumbersome.

Genetic modification is, well, rampant in the SARP, to an extent. Nepleslians are cloned. Yamataians are genetically engineered. A strange eye implant might actually be considered low-tech for this setting. That idea could work for you, but I'm just letting you know.

7. ON to the SKILLS!
  • Engineering: this is pretty unlikely for a geneticist. Yamatai's tech is pre-eminent throughout the galaxy. Only NDI really stands a chance at this point, and the Mishhu. She might have good ideas though.
  • Tech op: again unlikely. All kinds of machinery? Perhaps just one class of machines and what not, something she could have practiced.
  • Rogue: Mostly no problem, but where'd she learn to disarm an opponent?
  • Biology looks okay.
  • Fighting: This just sounds ... lame. There needs to be some justification of this skill beyond "she's a Nep, she KNOWS!"
  • Medical: Looks good.
  • Math: Errrr ... all forms? Again, maybe a little more specialized?

A good first effort. However, you should consider where you want your character to go -- sounds like a military plotship isn't happening, unless you have one in mind already.

Recommending edits and other opinions before approval is considered.
 
Yup, I can already see that gene modification is nothing much in the SA rp >_>

Well...If that weight and hight irks you, I change it XDD As for the Neppy part, let's wait for Wes =3

*Is lazy to check grammar because it's in the middle of the night T_T But will do when I am more awake XPP*

Don't worry about the war stuff part, there are records in the forum itself >_> *Points to archive*

Skill change, engineering and math updated...Or so =3 Disarming has been fitted with the sensitivity of Merais >_>

She will die soon, but not yet. I was thinking of having her making le ebil stuff...Genetic or machine. We see in the long run...XDDD
 
I'm not a great fan of this character for several reasons:

1, Nepleslian female. Incredibly rare, and not something that should be approved.
2, The history has a vast ammount which would need to be RPed out.
3, The history is sometimes at contrast with the nature of Yamatai or Nepleslia.
4, The description's a tad cliche.
5, Being an orphan is done waaayyy too much.

On the other hand:

I quite like your personality.
 
Total agreement with 2, 4 and 5...XDD On my second read through that is XPP

Will change Tvin to mother instead as she was born before the major civil wars.

Might change history...But we'd see.

*Isn't really quite good at description XD But will try to do something about it...>_>;;;*

As for the Neppy female part, she is gonna die, but not yet...So I think it "Should" be fine T_T
 
No offense to you Renako, but your constant use of things like >_> or XDD make it very annoying and makes you seem very immature, at least in my eyes. It often does not make me to want to read over your posts simply because every few words I'll see some anime face which really has no relevancy in your posts at all. Please if you could tone it down a bit, I would really appreciate it.
 
Well, then I am afraid you just have to endure it...Hey, least I am better than spammers that invade them boards with smileys when the GM or Admins are offline, now that'd be annoying.

If being immature is a crime, kill the kids.

*There, I toned it down...Happy? Now...Suggestion for character profile please ^^;;*

Well, if Merais is Neppy female, going to die...In maybe a few years or so...It's just about the same as having little to no female population in th entire Nepleslia. The only trouble I have with this now is about the "Female protection" maddness in Nepleslia...><;
 
I don't think you understand. The statistical probability of a pure Nepleslian female is so small, they aren't played.

Maybe a Yamataian/Nepleslian halfbreed? I've played one of those before.
 
I'd say the odds of a random Nepleslian being female is about one out of a hundred. Still, they do exist and being one wouldn't stop me from approving a character so long as the character bio makes sense and is well written.
 
Doshii, I don't see how a Yamataian can mix around with Nepleslia freely @_@ So I don't think I would play as a Yama/Neppy mix...

So, is there anymore problem with my character bio? *Other than grammar, that is...*
 
I'm still going to argue against Nepleslian females. There shouldn't be any. And a Yamataian female could mate with a Nep male easily, and it does happen.
 
seemly piercing through a person's soul.
<-- Cliche, unnecessary. Exactly whose characters "souls" is it supposed to "pierce?"

Medical and Science: Merais is well versed in most form of surgery. She earn this experience from her previous employer, who operated illegal genetic modification as well as studies of various species. She also had much contextual knowledge of the organs in each species known in space...For now.
Does this make sense? It needs some grammar fixes at minimum.

as she live day by day
The whole bio has these plurality errors in it. They live. She lives.
 
RPG-D RPGfix
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