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RP: 4th Fleet (NSN) [Mission 2.1] Hiking
- Thread starter Zack
- Start date
Cedric had to move his hand at the last moment when Phaedra grabbed Avel's wrist. The resulting move nearly made Cedric smack Avel in the face.
'Not that she couldn't do without a good one right about now.' Cedric thought.
With Phaedra holding Avel's gun arm, Cedric moved to her other side. He snatched the offered DataJockey and stuffed it in his pocket before quickly wrapping an arm around her's to keep her in place. The last thing Avel needed was to be totally alone with those kinds of thoughts brewing in her head. Cedric glanced up at Laura to see if she was working on getting . . . whatever it was that was needed to keep Avel out cold. Then he looked to the woman in question, still keeping an iron grip on her other hand to make sure she didn't run away.
"Just calm down Avel." He told her, "When you wake up: you can have a talk with us. Okay? See if we can't help you out. Because complaining about a situation and trying to kill yourself won't make it any better for you."
'Not that she couldn't do without a good one right about now.' Cedric thought.
With Phaedra holding Avel's gun arm, Cedric moved to her other side. He snatched the offered DataJockey and stuffed it in his pocket before quickly wrapping an arm around her's to keep her in place. The last thing Avel needed was to be totally alone with those kinds of thoughts brewing in her head. Cedric glanced up at Laura to see if she was working on getting . . . whatever it was that was needed to keep Avel out cold. Then he looked to the woman in question, still keeping an iron grip on her other hand to make sure she didn't run away.
"Just calm down Avel." He told her, "When you wake up: you can have a talk with us. Okay? See if we can't help you out. Because complaining about a situation and trying to kill yourself won't make it any better for you."
Her thrashing about caused Cedric's grip to tighten on her arm.
"You do that and the only thing that'll happen is that I'll have to kick you unconscious!" He barked at her, "Now calm the fuck down before I make you, Private!"
He was on edge already, and the way she was continuing to act was not helping him feel any better at the moment. If it came down to it, he didn't care if she was a few inches taller than him, or a few pounds heavier. He would keep her where they could keep track of her if he had to personally pummel her in to unconcsiousness. If she thought any of them would agree to her request, then she was insane. After having just attempted suicide, they weren't likely to just let her go be by herself . . . miles away . . . totally unsupervised.
"You do that and the only thing that'll happen is that I'll have to kick you unconscious!" He barked at her, "Now calm the fuck down before I make you, Private!"
He was on edge already, and the way she was continuing to act was not helping him feel any better at the moment. If it came down to it, he didn't care if she was a few inches taller than him, or a few pounds heavier. He would keep her where they could keep track of her if he had to personally pummel her in to unconcsiousness. If she thought any of them would agree to her request, then she was insane. After having just attempted suicide, they weren't likely to just let her go be by herself . . . miles away . . . totally unsupervised.
C-Man
Inactive Member
Avel couldn't even bring herself be stand on her own two legs anymore and fell to her knees, breaking down into a sobbing wreck. She couldn't make sense of anything at this point and let herself completely fall apart.
"Just put me out of my misery. You didn't seem to have a problem doing it before."
"Just put me out of my misery. You didn't seem to have a problem doing it before."
cyborgakadjmoose
Inactive Member
"Hold her in place, Cedric," said Phaedra. She removed the pistol from Avel's hand and placed it in her belt behind her back. She then took off her field cap and smacked Avel across the face with it. Phaedra placed her hands on her hips and leaned in very close to Avel, their faces mere inches apart. Few had ever seen Phaedra truely angry, but the emotion was clearly visible on her face.
"What the HELL is your problem, Private Avel Sitkeas? Your conduct is absolutely unacceptable for a member of the Nepleslian Space Marine Corps! Do you take your oaths of loyalty to our nation seriously? What about the trust that your comrades had placed in you? Do you not know that your behavior puts them into danger? We are here on shore leave, and you start waving a weapon around? Where is your discipline as a soldier? Have you thought once about the rest of your teammates instead of yourself? Are you just going to give up and let your problems consume you? Marines don't give up! They survive, they adapt, they overcome! You can change who you are, become the best the you can be! Wallowing in self-pity will get you nowhere!" Phaedra leaned back slightly.
"You say that I'm fortunate to remember my past? I am a clone, I have known nothing besides the Corps. There is not a day that goes by that I wish I could forget my past, but I cannot. At times it haunts me, yet I press on. I do not let it overcome me. You do not know how fortunate you are to be able to start anew. So why do you waste your opportunity to start a new life by ending it?"
"Has your conduct been that of a Nepleslian Marine? No, I see a frightened child standing before me. To simply end your hardship by killing yourself is the way of a coward! What do you have to say for yourself?"
"ANSWER ME!" pushing her face back infront of Avel's.
"Just put me out of my misery. You didn't seem to have a problem doing it before."
Phaedra's outrage seemed to lessen.
"The reason you died was because an irresponsible Marine thought it would be a good idea to use an explosive round inside a ship. The intent was to disable you, not to kill you. And no, none of us here would put you out of your misery. You need to grow a hide and look your misery straight in the face!"
"What the HELL is your problem, Private Avel Sitkeas? Your conduct is absolutely unacceptable for a member of the Nepleslian Space Marine Corps! Do you take your oaths of loyalty to our nation seriously? What about the trust that your comrades had placed in you? Do you not know that your behavior puts them into danger? We are here on shore leave, and you start waving a weapon around? Where is your discipline as a soldier? Have you thought once about the rest of your teammates instead of yourself? Are you just going to give up and let your problems consume you? Marines don't give up! They survive, they adapt, they overcome! You can change who you are, become the best the you can be! Wallowing in self-pity will get you nowhere!" Phaedra leaned back slightly.
"You say that I'm fortunate to remember my past? I am a clone, I have known nothing besides the Corps. There is not a day that goes by that I wish I could forget my past, but I cannot. At times it haunts me, yet I press on. I do not let it overcome me. You do not know how fortunate you are to be able to start anew. So why do you waste your opportunity to start a new life by ending it?"
"Has your conduct been that of a Nepleslian Marine? No, I see a frightened child standing before me. To simply end your hardship by killing yourself is the way of a coward! What do you have to say for yourself?"
"ANSWER ME!" pushing her face back infront of Avel's.
"Just put me out of my misery. You didn't seem to have a problem doing it before."
Phaedra's outrage seemed to lessen.
"The reason you died was because an irresponsible Marine thought it would be a good idea to use an explosive round inside a ship. The intent was to disable you, not to kill you. And no, none of us here would put you out of your misery. You need to grow a hide and look your misery straight in the face!"
CadetNewb
Well-Known Member
It wasn't like they were out of eyesight, or even earshot for that matter. Yes, they were in the dark, but that didn't mean Matteo's eyes and ears sucked that badly. He just sat there quietly though, listening with his chin in his hand. Was it just him, or were they all morons? Yes, this was the Marine Corps, but...he expected better than this drama shit! The ex-assassin couldn't help but speak up, and asked both Harm and Wazu quietly enough that he hoped the others didn't hear.
"I don't mean to sound like a cold bastard, but things weren't this crazy-stupid for you two back when, was it?"
"I don't mean to sound like a cold bastard, but things weren't this crazy-stupid for you two back when, was it?"
C-Man
Inactive Member
Avel couldn't understand a word the person in front of her was saying. She tried to speak up but her thoughts were becoming more erratic by the second and she wound up switching from one subject to another.
"I can't... Understand.... A word... You're... I've Wasted... my... Life trying... Why did you.. Stop me?... I don't... Understand ugh!"
That was all she could manage to say before her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she slumped over unconscious. She would be out for days and any attempts to wake her would be futile. It was as if she were in a coma.
She was currently dead to the world but Avel now found herself in a different one. The minute she got up and opened her eyes, she knew she wasn't in the NAM proving grounds anymore.
All around her, as far as the eye could see was a barren and blasted wasteland. The place looked to have repeatedly been bombarded and all she could see was dirt, craters, a few odd mostly intact buildings and shriveled black things that might have been trees at some point.
The sun was just a smudge in the rust colored and polluted sky. No birds sang, nothing green grew and the land was silent as death.
Seeing as she had nothing better to do, Avel began moving towards what looked like a city in the distance. Maybe check out some of the nearby buildings too.
At least she wasn't back at camp embarrassing herself in front of everyone.
"I can't... Understand.... A word... You're... I've Wasted... my... Life trying... Why did you.. Stop me?... I don't... Understand ugh!"
That was all she could manage to say before her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she slumped over unconscious. She would be out for days and any attempts to wake her would be futile. It was as if she were in a coma.
She was currently dead to the world but Avel now found herself in a different one. The minute she got up and opened her eyes, she knew she wasn't in the NAM proving grounds anymore.
All around her, as far as the eye could see was a barren and blasted wasteland. The place looked to have repeatedly been bombarded and all she could see was dirt, craters, a few odd mostly intact buildings and shriveled black things that might have been trees at some point.
The sun was just a smudge in the rust colored and polluted sky. No birds sang, nothing green grew and the land was silent as death.
Seeing as she had nothing better to do, Avel began moving towards what looked like a city in the distance. Maybe check out some of the nearby buildings too.
At least she wasn't back at camp embarrassing herself in front of everyone.
Cedric had held Avel in silence, opting to hold both of her arms when she had fallen to her knees crying. He almost wanted to roll his eyes at her behavior, but he restrained himself as Phaedra began talking. He listened to her in silence and made sure that Avel wouldn't be able to just run off on her own any time soon. However, as Phaedra wrapped up, Avel began blubbering like a little girl, and moments later Cedric found himself holding dead weight as Avel slumped against him in a totally unconscious and unresponsive state. Now he did roll his eyes before looking to Phaedra.
"Sergeant: I'm no medical expert, but I'd say she's out." With that he looked in the direction of the camp close by, "Hey. Does anybody want to help me haul her to her sleepin' bag?" He asked, "Cus' I doubt she'd want me draggin' her all through the dirt."
"Sergeant: I'm no medical expert, but I'd say she's out." With that he looked in the direction of the camp close by, "Hey. Does anybody want to help me haul her to her sleepin' bag?" He asked, "Cus' I doubt she'd want me draggin' her all through the dirt."
Centurion0507
Inactive Member
Fading back into view Sawyer replied "I'll help you Staff Sergeant. I may as well make myself of some use" as he walked over and grabbed Avel's legs and lifted to make them even with where Cedric had hold of her. "Shall we head back to camp then?" He asked.
With Sawyer's help, moving Avel's body was hardly a challenge. Cedric led the way back in to the light of the camp fire, setting Avel down on her sleeping bag. Once that was done, he stood up with a sigh, and stepped back out. He retrieved two more bottles of beer from the cooler and started for Phaedra. He held out one of them, letting out a disappointed sigh as he glanced over his shoulder back to where Avel was now laying, unconscious.
"What a night, huh?" He asked with a shrug, "Sun hasn't even started to rise and we've already got problems. I just hope we can get Avel sorted out."
"What a night, huh?" He asked with a shrug, "Sun hasn't even started to rise and we've already got problems. I just hope we can get Avel sorted out."
Arieg
DEFCON Everybody Dies
Arieg had found a seat across from Harm, as the Marines returned with Avel in tow he had started working on his kill with a knife. Cutting off the choice pieces of the carcass and laying them on a small plastic sheet he'd found nearby. Cedric's words had acquired the mercenary's attention.
"My honest opinion is bump her into a logistics slot or discharge her, someone that screwed up in the head doesn't belong on combat operations. Freakers tend to turn their weapon on themselves... or their buddies." he said just loud enough for them to hear. "Though the simple solution is to give her a weapon and let her wander off." He finished with a sinister tone.
"My honest opinion is bump her into a logistics slot or discharge her, someone that screwed up in the head doesn't belong on combat operations. Freakers tend to turn their weapon on themselves... or their buddies." he said just loud enough for them to hear. "Though the simple solution is to give her a weapon and let her wander off." He finished with a sinister tone.
Sanderford
Inactive Member
Naomi's hands kept working on the .45 SS, though at this point she did not really need to. The weapon was basically spotless.
"Though the simple solution is to give her a weapon and let her wander off."
"If you're a mercenary, then maybe that's a viable option." Her voice was somewhat flat as she spoke. "Marines aren't mercenaries, so it isn't an option, here. Marines have been known to kill people. It's a big part of what we do. We don't kill one another, and we don't allow a Marine to commit suicide."
Done with that, she placed the pistol in the belt holster, and turned to look at the Marines who had carried Avel back to the camp.
"She gonna' be alright?"
"Though the simple solution is to give her a weapon and let her wander off."
"If you're a mercenary, then maybe that's a viable option." Her voice was somewhat flat as she spoke. "Marines aren't mercenaries, so it isn't an option, here. Marines have been known to kill people. It's a big part of what we do. We don't kill one another, and we don't allow a Marine to commit suicide."
Done with that, she placed the pistol in the belt holster, and turned to look at the Marines who had carried Avel back to the camp.
"She gonna' be alright?"
Zack
Inactive Member
Wazu decided to interject here,
“She will have to be put on suicide watch for a while.” He said, “But right now I am not quite sure how to proceed. Make sure she will not go anywhere during the night.
Perhaps unlike how your PMC operates, I plan to solve problems like Avel’s instability instead of passing them on to someone else.
I am afraid to ask but,”
And now it was harm’s turn to jump in,
“Who’s telling the next story!” She said, with a level of enthusiasm that was unnerving to Wazu, “Lets get this bonding going!.”
“She will have to be put on suicide watch for a while.” He said, “But right now I am not quite sure how to proceed. Make sure she will not go anywhere during the night.
Perhaps unlike how your PMC operates, I plan to solve problems like Avel’s instability instead of passing them on to someone else.
I am afraid to ask but,”
And now it was harm’s turn to jump in,
“Who’s telling the next story!” She said, with a level of enthusiasm that was unnerving to Wazu, “Lets get this bonding going!.”
cyborgakadjmoose
Inactive Member
Phaedra ran a hand through her hair before replacing the cap on her head. She eagerly accepted the beer Cedric offered her with her left hand, and then put her right hand on her face. Phaedra took a deep breath and let out an exasperated sigh.
"What a night, huh? Sun hasn't even started to rise and we've already got problems. I just hope we can get Avel sorted out," said Cedric.
"Me too. I must thank you for the back up, Cedric; I should have anticipated Avel trying something like that. I am disappointed in myself that I had to yell at her, but she was completely out of order. Clearly being gentle does not work; I tried that the first time when I informed Avel of her...demise," said Phaedra. She popped off the cap of the bottle with her metal thumb and took a swig from the bottle before continuing.
"Is it entirely selfish of me to want to keep Avel sedated for the remainder of our excursion? I'm not sure how I can promote squad cohesion when one of their number is suicidal and belligerent."
"Anyway to answer your first question, yes, I am alright now; the memories of the incident come and go. I do not easily wish to bring them up, but I am fine now. Thank you asking." Phaedra made to walk towards the camp and gave Cedric's shoulder a squeeze.
"We should probably head back; we do not want the others to think we are fraternizing," she said with a small smirk.
With that she headed back towards the camp. She passed by Laura and whispered into her ear.
"Laura, please ensure that Avel is properly sedated."
Phaedra returned to her spot, waiting for the next round of storytelling to begin.
"What a night, huh? Sun hasn't even started to rise and we've already got problems. I just hope we can get Avel sorted out," said Cedric.
"Me too. I must thank you for the back up, Cedric; I should have anticipated Avel trying something like that. I am disappointed in myself that I had to yell at her, but she was completely out of order. Clearly being gentle does not work; I tried that the first time when I informed Avel of her...demise," said Phaedra. She popped off the cap of the bottle with her metal thumb and took a swig from the bottle before continuing.
"Is it entirely selfish of me to want to keep Avel sedated for the remainder of our excursion? I'm not sure how I can promote squad cohesion when one of their number is suicidal and belligerent."
"Anyway to answer your first question, yes, I am alright now; the memories of the incident come and go. I do not easily wish to bring them up, but I am fine now. Thank you asking." Phaedra made to walk towards the camp and gave Cedric's shoulder a squeeze.
"We should probably head back; we do not want the others to think we are fraternizing," she said with a small smirk.
With that she headed back towards the camp. She passed by Laura and whispered into her ear.
"Laura, please ensure that Avel is properly sedated."
Phaedra returned to her spot, waiting for the next round of storytelling to begin.
"I don't think it's selfish to want to keep somebody in her state under control, Sarge." Cedric replied.
At her fraternization comment, he frowned, "Oh come on. I'm not that ugly, am I?"
Twisting the cap off, Cedric sipped at his new beer as he walked back to the camp fire. He arrived just in time to hear Harm announce the need for somebody to tell a new story. Cedric smiled at the Cat's behavior, however inappopriate it may have been given the circumstances, and sat down in his original seat (a large log). He started sipping away at his beer once again, with his cap off in one hand, and his eyes looking over the members of the squad once more. He waited patiently to see if anybody else would volunteer.
At her fraternization comment, he frowned, "Oh come on. I'm not that ugly, am I?"
Twisting the cap off, Cedric sipped at his new beer as he walked back to the camp fire. He arrived just in time to hear Harm announce the need for somebody to tell a new story. Cedric smiled at the Cat's behavior, however inappopriate it may have been given the circumstances, and sat down in his original seat (a large log). He started sipping away at his beer once again, with his cap off in one hand, and his eyes looking over the members of the squad once more. He waited patiently to see if anybody else would volunteer.
CadetNewb
Well-Known Member
Matteo found himself holding a cold beer in one hand, and his canteen of water in the other. On one hand, this was supposed to be down time of sorts, and it was always nice to relax with one. On the other? Well, he didn't want to be under the influence of anything with Avel around like this. With a disappointed sigh, he merely slipped the booze back into the cooler. 'This is turning out to be quite a downer.' the young man thought to himself.
"I never heard anyone being ugly enough to scare off a Mishhu, Cedric, but it's worth a shot trying! After all, even they gotta have their standards when it comes down to somthing out there." Matt added, hoping to change the mood.
"I never heard anyone being ugly enough to scare off a Mishhu, Cedric, but it's worth a shot trying! After all, even they gotta have their standards when it comes down to somthing out there." Matt added, hoping to change the mood.
Centurion0507
Inactive Member
Looking at the beer that he was given earlier Sawyer walks over and puts it back in the cooler. "Eh, beer's not really my thing, plus no need to get stupid when we've got a crazy lady here in the camp. She may be unconscious but god only knows when she'll come to and what she'd do if when she does we're all passed out drunk." With that Sawyer went back to sitting by the fire facing outwards into the night. Keeping his eyes adjusted to the night and making sure that there was nothing out there to bother them.
C-Man
Inactive Member
Avel's data jockey would give a series of beeps. Signaling it's now unconscious owner that the requested material had finished downloading.
In her boredom Avel had downloaded a series of movies and shows to pass the time. The beeping was just a reminder to the owner that the download had finished.
The data jockey also contained numerous weapon and armor ideas, including her personal log.
== Entry 1 ==
In the first entry Avel covers her origins where A group of scientists decide to clone a dangerous criminal to produce superior quality soldiers which actually sounds like a good idea. The scientists in question then botched her memory transfer, didn't secure the original properly, thus allowing a dangerous person to break free, kill several guards and escape. The scientists then took out their frustrations on her for seemingly no other reason than because she had been born and successfully convinced her that the whole ordeal was indeed her fault. It is clearly evident that Avel was physiologically scarred by the whole ordeal.
== Entry 2 ==
In the second entry Avel covers her time in training. Details include her obvious reasons (peer pressure) for joining, focusing entirely on training and giving up social interaction to be the best. Going as far as to pick fights with ID-Sols just to see how long she could last. She also built up her skills at manipulation and never had to steal to get things for free. Avel also notes her memory seizures and mounting fear of having one in the middle of a battlefield. But if she quit her creators would be right.
== Entry 3 ==
Avel covers her first mission on the Cirrus Research Facility. She compares Cassefin Montreal to her creators and admits to despising her for the way she treated the Marines but hiding it behind a forced smile. She also covers her manipulating of one of the scientists into giving her a room in an attempt to impress her Sargent. But then partook in a failed rescue mission before she could say anything.
== Entry 4 ==
Avel then covers suddenly waking up in the next year with no idea what happened or why she was demoted to P4C. She is then assigned to the NSS Asp under the command of Admiral Wazu and takes part in the investigation of an NMX occupied beef ranch. She also notes the weird stares she's been receiving ever since she stepped aboard the ship.
== Entry 5 ==
The next entry covers her mission to the beef ranch, her failed attempt at helping Cedric and her customized HPAR (Which later turned out to be an abysmal failure), as well as meeting Harm (Whom she call an "undisciplined, unprofessional, incompetent, degenerate scumbag with the moral ethics of a hyena and a far less tolerable laugh.") and Phaedra. She also begins to piece together enough hints to know that whatever happened, was bad enough to be sealed by the IPG and was now afraid of finding out the truth.
== Entry 6 ==
The next entry covers the disaster mission at the black syndicate casino... thing, getting shot in the face and the team loosing one of their own. She was going to accuse whoever thought that sending the very man responsible for the downfall of an organized group of violent and psychopathic criminals was a bad idea. But she hadn't done any better herself so she kept it to herself... Mostly..
== Entry 7 ==
Avel covers the meeting where she helps create the defense manual and pitches her idea for what would later be the LAG grenade. She later discovers that it truly was her own fault that her life was like this. She begins to wonder if she can really go on forever like this.
== Entry 8==
Faced with the concept of never being anything but a failure no matter how hard she tried Avel considers suicide and wonders if she can really go through with it. Then again, she couldn't just quit the marines and start a new life. No. Any chance of a bright future was pissed away when she signed up for something she didn't even want any part of.
== Entry 9 ==
Avel begins to realize certain "unfortunate truths" about herself. She could have simply sued her creator and lived a life of relative luxury, run her own business or done anything she wanted. Instead she allowed herself to be suckered into a dead end job with ZERO prospects.
== Entry 10 ==
Avel seriously contemplates just ending it, but first there is just one last thing she needs to find out. Then the hell with everything else. If she did work up the courage to pull the trigger, she probably deserved to die for being so gullible and stupid. She would also be ridding her unit of a serious problem which was good. They didn't deserve to bear the brunt of her problems.
== Entry 11 ==
Avel calls herself pathetic. Even though she could see through all the propaganda, oaths and patriotism as just a means to get people to fight, she was still pathetic. Because she had given in and signed up without question.
== Entry 12 ==
Avel views Phaedra's attempts at promoting teamwork to be nothing more than a glorified camping trip. All they had done is climb a rock wall and walk around the woods all day. They could have been running through obstacle courses, navigating different types of terrain while completing different objectives/challenges or fighting androids in an accurate simulation of a real battlefield. Then again, she wasn't leadership material either so she wouldn't say anything. Harm was better qualified than her.
In her boredom Avel had downloaded a series of movies and shows to pass the time. The beeping was just a reminder to the owner that the download had finished.
The data jockey also contained numerous weapon and armor ideas, including her personal log.
== Entry 1 ==
In the first entry Avel covers her origins where A group of scientists decide to clone a dangerous criminal to produce superior quality soldiers which actually sounds like a good idea. The scientists in question then botched her memory transfer, didn't secure the original properly, thus allowing a dangerous person to break free, kill several guards and escape. The scientists then took out their frustrations on her for seemingly no other reason than because she had been born and successfully convinced her that the whole ordeal was indeed her fault. It is clearly evident that Avel was physiologically scarred by the whole ordeal.
== Entry 2 ==
In the second entry Avel covers her time in training. Details include her obvious reasons (peer pressure) for joining, focusing entirely on training and giving up social interaction to be the best. Going as far as to pick fights with ID-Sols just to see how long she could last. She also built up her skills at manipulation and never had to steal to get things for free. Avel also notes her memory seizures and mounting fear of having one in the middle of a battlefield. But if she quit her creators would be right.
== Entry 3 ==
Avel covers her first mission on the Cirrus Research Facility. She compares Cassefin Montreal to her creators and admits to despising her for the way she treated the Marines but hiding it behind a forced smile. She also covers her manipulating of one of the scientists into giving her a room in an attempt to impress her Sargent. But then partook in a failed rescue mission before she could say anything.
== Entry 4 ==
Avel then covers suddenly waking up in the next year with no idea what happened or why she was demoted to P4C. She is then assigned to the NSS Asp under the command of Admiral Wazu and takes part in the investigation of an NMX occupied beef ranch. She also notes the weird stares she's been receiving ever since she stepped aboard the ship.
== Entry 5 ==
The next entry covers her mission to the beef ranch, her failed attempt at helping Cedric and her customized HPAR (Which later turned out to be an abysmal failure), as well as meeting Harm (Whom she call an "undisciplined, unprofessional, incompetent, degenerate scumbag with the moral ethics of a hyena and a far less tolerable laugh.") and Phaedra. She also begins to piece together enough hints to know that whatever happened, was bad enough to be sealed by the IPG and was now afraid of finding out the truth.
== Entry 6 ==
The next entry covers the disaster mission at the black syndicate casino... thing, getting shot in the face and the team loosing one of their own. She was going to accuse whoever thought that sending the very man responsible for the downfall of an organized group of violent and psychopathic criminals was a bad idea. But she hadn't done any better herself so she kept it to herself... Mostly..
== Entry 7 ==
Avel covers the meeting where she helps create the defense manual and pitches her idea for what would later be the LAG grenade. She later discovers that it truly was her own fault that her life was like this. She begins to wonder if she can really go on forever like this.
== Entry 8==
Faced with the concept of never being anything but a failure no matter how hard she tried Avel considers suicide and wonders if she can really go through with it. Then again, she couldn't just quit the marines and start a new life. No. Any chance of a bright future was pissed away when she signed up for something she didn't even want any part of.
== Entry 9 ==
Avel begins to realize certain "unfortunate truths" about herself. She could have simply sued her creator and lived a life of relative luxury, run her own business or done anything she wanted. Instead she allowed herself to be suckered into a dead end job with ZERO prospects.
== Entry 10 ==
Avel seriously contemplates just ending it, but first there is just one last thing she needs to find out. Then the hell with everything else. If she did work up the courage to pull the trigger, she probably deserved to die for being so gullible and stupid. She would also be ridding her unit of a serious problem which was good. They didn't deserve to bear the brunt of her problems.
== Entry 11 ==
Avel calls herself pathetic. Even though she could see through all the propaganda, oaths and patriotism as just a means to get people to fight, she was still pathetic. Because she had given in and signed up without question.
== Entry 12 ==
Avel views Phaedra's attempts at promoting teamwork to be nothing more than a glorified camping trip. All they had done is climb a rock wall and walk around the woods all day. They could have been running through obstacle courses, navigating different types of terrain while completing different objectives/challenges or fighting androids in an accurate simulation of a real battlefield. Then again, she wasn't leadership material either so she wouldn't say anything. Harm was better qualified than her.
