RP: YSS Miharu Mission 3, Aftermath

Mara frowned, and then removed her towel to slide her body in the warm bathwater making sure she wasn't between Yukari and Tom.

"You both are terribly unfair," the sprite said somberly.

"I don't accept it."

The word suddenly came from out of Tom's lips as he looked up and stared at the mural, anger glinting in his eyes.

"You told me that you are fighting for our future. To get out of this war so that we could live together in peace. You have a business to get to, dreams to live. You want children."

He stood up in the water, pulled himself out of the bath and plodded to the mural. He raised his hand, gesturing to it, and turned around.

"A house, here. Our lives, here and in Ralt. Tell me what needs to change, why you need to change."

His voice was firm but the emotion welling within him was threatening to make it break. He turned and looked at the two, not caring about his nudity.

"Mara is right. I always knew of the true nature of war, long before I met you. I just... could not accept the realities of it. Now I am forced to understand them, but Yukari, you are a Shosa and you are telling me you never understood them, yourself? Did you not, not long ago, almost have yourself killed to prove that you were strong enough to defend your dreams? How is that any different than where I stand now?"

He moved away from the two, to get his discarded towel. His voice was raised as he walked away.

"Would you rather I had broken down, gotten myself killed, as well as everyone under me, because I didn't want to make the decisions that would save the most lives? That was an option, Yukari, but I refused to do it, just as I refuse to accept your excuse! Because my love of you and my comrades made me make these decisions!"

He walked back to the bath, but did not enter. Rather, he sat on a bench away from the two.

"Ichigo, Rin, Mara, everyone... they all suffered to one extent or another because of me. Because they trusted me to do my best! As I told you before, I do not accept how much this war demands of us, and I never will, but to not be willing to make those decisions when the time comes makes me into more of a monster than I could possibly imagine!"

His voice quivered and his eyes teared.

"War does not care about you, your love or your beliefs! Do not tell me you did not understand this... I could not bear it... knowing you wanted a glass bird in a cage..."

Yukari had to measure herself. Tom was already becoming emotional. She would not. Perhaps she was wrong. But she did not feel wrong.

"I want a husband," she said slowly, turning in the bath and facing him as he sat on the bench. "I want a father for the children I will have someday. I want a partner. I want the things you mentioned, without you becoming ... becoming so much of a warrior.

"Do you not understand how I have felt? I have been so poor in communicating it to you ... you are not a bird. Despite all you saw, you resisted. You did not accept the 'realities' of war. And it gave me hope. Because I was born a warrior — no, a weapon. A tool. I do not know if I can ever escape my nature, no matter the body I am in, and I am learning to accept parts of it.

" ... I was — am — ready to be our defender from the outside, while you defended us from internal threats. If that is unfair of me, then please, give me time to correct myself! If I am so wrong, give me a chance to be right! I did not want you to be caged; I wanted us to each fight on the fronts we were best suited for."

Yukari looked at him; her hands were on the lip of the bath, her body propped up over it. She ignored her own nudity as well, along with Mara. "If I am a fool ... give me a chance to learn."

"You know, all this drama you are both weaving between yourselves is very dreary. I'll go so far as simply qualify it as petty," Mara said, sounding utterly unamused.

The sprite eyed them both, resentment palpable from her. "You are probably the only two soldiers on this ship whom moan and moan and moan on about how you find your occupation tortuous. It's like you like going on about this pity party over your unfortunate sorry selves because somewhere, it makes you both special, somehow it makes you a cut above all the others around."

One hand splashed hard over the water, angrily.

"Most find a way to cope - it's a job and they've assumed its trials and its risks," Mara continued, her voice (most uncharacteristically) choked in anger. "Some do because they feel they don't belong elsewhere, others do because it's a job and others do because they want to protect a nation. But you two, you don't realize how better off than others you are. In your case, you both would simply need to pay off the time you contracted as soldiers for - you could leave the military completely behind you, now!"

Nyton honestly shrugged. "I do not have anything planned right at the moment. For now I am simply escorting our guest. Later I have a meeting with the Taisa. Aside from that I will likely attend to whatever else comes up." he replied. He finished off the bacon and eggs with the next bite. Most of his plate was empty now which made him glance over at Heram's dish to see how his progress had gone.

"If you are still hungry sir, feel free to have some more. Otherwise if you are done then I just need to pick up a few items and we can go." Nyton informed.

Wazu had eaten through about half of the food on his plate.

He figured Nyton was just playing hard to get with the neko next to him, something he did not bother to think too much about for the time being.

“In that case I am finished,” Wazu said, quite ready to get started.

Tom eyed Mara's explosion of anger with surprise. It was very much unlike the sprite to do so.

So he listened, he listened to her carefully, along with the arguments from Yukari.

When she finished, his open mouth revealed his surprise, as well as his shame as he realized something, something so obvious, yet missed so badly on his part that he needed the sprite to yell at him to reveal it.

His body slowly moved off the bench and he kneeled on the floor, genuflecting before the sprite.

"I am terribly, utterly sorry that you, through Miharu's eyes, had to play witness to our squabbles. It... must be really testing, even to an all-seeing computer, to witness it so often. But... it must also be so unfair to you and the others because you don't have the choice we do. I can only beg you to keep your knowledge of our private affairs away from the eyes of others. We do not let it interfere with our duties, so please do not bring more shame upon us. I will work hard and I will remain a steadfast friend to you and the others on Miharu. Please forgive me."

He moved his bow to Yukari.

"Yukari, I apologize as well, for my part in our soap opera. I unfairly use you as a shield for my own insecurity, and I hurt you because of that. If you would permit it, I would like to make a fresh start with you, whether that be here or outside the star army."

He returned to his knees and awaited a response.

Mara seemed baffled by Tom's reply. As he spoke, one of her hands went up to have her fingers self-consciously curl around her bicep before she started shaking her head no.

"You think it's just that?" The sprite said, sounding bewildered. "Most of what you both dramatize over concerns your own personal dramas, but it's mostly for the sake of preserving what you envision as your nobility of spirit."

"Listen to this: we've lost three people in this fight: a fighter pilot, a sprite technician and an officer. The only ones I've seen making a fuss about those deaths and bothering to mourn them were some of our newer technician sprites. You, you're both concerned about your own innocence - talk about narrow eyeblinded focus, especially considering you willingly serve in the military by this point. Is that hypocrisy?"

She shook her head and went on: "I suppose someone noble could also worry about the sheer number of people that were killed in this operation. Do you realize how much crew four Ketsueki escorts, four Yui destroyers and an Ayame command carrier contained - all lost because of me? Those weren't monstrous looking Mishhuvurthyar; they were people just like Yukari here. People whom believed in something so much that they had the courage to risk rebelling against the Empire to fight for that cause. I suppose this in your eyes could make me into a horrible murderer as well."

Mara sucked in a sharp breath and continued her tirade with: "I know you're all very concerned about how pretty your bellybutton looks... but perhaps you'd be interested in knowing that this victory of ours we had - which, if you really think about it, is still a great one - resulted in crippling me. I'm a proof of concept more than anything and the damage I took to my engines is making half-my-sprites believe I'm running down and dying."

"Even though I had no choice in the matter, I'm proud of being your ship, I'm happy in being your tool to help protect Yamatai... but seeing the two of you go on about this argument of yours is infuriating - no, utterly insulting! I'm practically falling apart for this victory you've had and you both can't even look happy for it despite my having sacrificed everything for you. Instead, you both nitpick~!"

Tom considered Mara's words for a moment. The sprite, and, in essence, the ship, was upset.

"I was unaware that the sacrifices extended beyond Aoiko-san," he said as evenly as possible, even though the continued reprimands by the ship were causing an uncomfortable combination of humiliation, guilt and anger to rise within him. "When I find out the details regarding their deaths, I will pay my proper respects."

"Your points are as appreciated as they are biting, but I will not permit you to make assumptions on our character based on conversations we hold in the intimacy of our own quarters. I clearly understand the consequences of what is going on here. Yukari and I fight for a future and our beliefs, the same as you, the same as all of us on Miharu, the same as those you take responsibility for killing. Do not confuse our personal dramas with the bigger picture."

His eyes were grey walls as he drew in his next breath where he rested in the lotus position.

"I will 'look happy' in my private time when the situation deems it. Right now is not that time. I 'look happy' when I am around others, just as the Taisa must 'look professional' even when she probably struggles with her own demons in private. That you are privy to everyone's conversations is unfortunate, and I again apologize with the utmost humility, but it is not an excuse to reprimand us. To me, that is insulting."

"Your sacrifice is noted and appreciated. We spent countless hours working together to make sure you were in the best shape possible. Looking you over now, seeing how much damage you've taken, and the severity of the measures ahead we have to take to address them, I am sorry and, once again, appreciative for what you've done for us."

He let out a deep breath and blinked, his eyes returning their normal shine.

Mara regarded Tom as he counter-attacked. She looked contrite, but instead of replying, or storming away in anger... she took a deep breath and sank her head below the surface of the bathwater to linger huddled at the bottom.

After all, there was no such thing as running away. She was everywhere on the ship.

Yukari had not yet seen a casualty report. She knew of the fighter pilot and the technician, and had already shown remorse for both. She had not known about Aoiko, but she stopped herself from feeling guilty about demanding the Neko take on a weaker body. She did not know the circumstances of Aoiko's death, and would not let herself speculate.

What could she say to Mara that would soothe her? Nothing. The sprite seemed to have made up her mind — Yukari and Tom were shallow souls unworthy of their complaints, and not nearly thankful enough for all the sacrifices going on around them. They were dishonored by their pursuit of higher morality.

"I apologize to you, Tom, and accept. We can start again." She had ignored Mara already, and would continue to do so. If the sprite's mind was so locked in stone, she would not attempt to educate her, not at that moment. Yukari felt stupid and shaken enough as it was.

The samurai had completed what he was doing, and now exited into the halls cleanly. He calmly made his way towards the wardroom, with his arms folded one over the other in his wide sleeves. Silently he contemplated some more, Sora was all that took up his thoughts ever since she had kissed him yesterday. He could still feel her soft lips upon his, how could he forget the way she had moved to him and kissed him on her own accord. 'A girl's heart really is as fickle as the autumn sky,' he thought to him self as he decided not to rationalize her anymore for the time being, or at least try.

The male neko passed through the opening into the ward section again, pausing a moment to see who was all there. He didn't really recognize many of the people yet so he just continued on his way to grab some food, but instead of staying to eat in the ward room, he took his meal upstairs to the empty observation room. There we would be able to enjoy his meal with out anyone staring at him as per the Ketsururi samurai way. Alone he ate a meal of white rice and spiced fish, with a cup of strawberry sweetened green tea close-by. In the mean time he tried to plot out his training for the day, distracting his mind from his previous dilemma.

Tom looked into Yukari's eyes carefully, to find if what she spoke was truth. Her eyes, the green ones that he locked so much of his hopes for the future on did not lie.

There was honesty behind the confusion.

He smiled and the sound of a single clap of his hands broke the stillness in the air.

"Well, that was surprisingly easy! Now... hmmm... where did I leave off..."

He brought his hand up and pointed a finger to the sky with his eyes closed and a 'hm' coming from him as he then recited from memory... with a few modifications to account for the present:

"I see a woman confined to a life of orders and missions, a woman who accepts that life dutifully... but her eyes do not lie. Within them, there's a young child who yearns for times long past."

"But the child has locked herself away. She thinks she cannot return to those carefree days... because of the bad things she has done, and the things she has suffered through. So, while the child hides, the soldier comes out..."

"But the girl can't hide from everyone: I see her. She is kind, tender, playful and beautiful. She makes me feel safe despite the horrors that surround us because I see in her a hope for better days in this war torn and weary world."

"So I tirelessly work to comfort the girl. I want her to greet the day with happiness and joy. I want to make her laugh, make her dance, make her feel human again because I love her."

Human. Yukari's eyes went to the string of bubbles Mara had left behind. I am no more human than she is. Am I? Even after all of my struggling ... I am no more human?

She looked to Tom, eyes dull. Mara's words had robbed them of life, much as the NH-23's had done on a different level, when she had spoken with her. " ... Yes," she said simply, then turned to rise from the bath.

"I should prepare for the day. Aoiko's death will require a ceremony if she cannot be revived with a proper backup. I must determine if it is necessary." She climbed out from the bath, wrapping her towel around her. Her expression was hard, but sad. But she bent down to kiss his lips anyway, forcing herself to smile. "Forgive me. I am a fool." "I love you."

She walked away to the changing room, leaving Tom alone with Mara.

* * *

"Sumaru-san." The sound of Kôsuka's voice was unmistakable in telepathy. She was giving an order. "Go to the portside VR room when you are able. Kei, Yuri and I require your assistance and input."

Mara's head briefly surfaced, enough for her eyes to be above the water to look at Yukari leaving. After a second went past she promptly ducked back beneath the bathwater without so much as a splash.

Tom saw Yukari leave. He had his eyes closed, so did not notice her expression as she left.

But he had opened his eyes and did see Mara clownishly bob up from the water for a moment before diving back down.

"Damn it, Mara," Tom said as he walked/stumbled into the bath with his towel still on. "Stop hiding and relax!"

A flurry of bubbles came to the surface, along with a petulant telepathic "No."

Tom's cheeks puffed in faux anger.

"Fine, you want to play it that way? As Juni, I order you to stand at attention right now."

"I'm a ship's avatar. I outrank you. You can't pull rank on me," was Mara's deadpan telepathic reply. More bubbles rippled to the surface.