RP: YSS Miharu Mission 3, Aftermath

Miyoko patiently waited for Yukari to store her food before proceeding toward the medlab. She walked in silence, though, preferring to let the XO concentrate on the restocking rather than interrupting her. Instead, she mentally prodded the ship. Miharu, could I please see whatever records we have on Murasaki-Shoi? I have the feeling I'm going to be needing them... At the very least, it would put her on the same page as Yukari if there was no backup prepared.

The query was quickly answered. "The Chui received a back-up before the Bowhordia mission. It should be available."

“I do not require justice or your condolences” Wazu said, taking a deep breath as he straightened out the clothing he was wearing. He regained his composure, began thinking about what Nyton had said earlier about the proper way to handle himself in front of the captain. He figured this was going to be fairly painful regardless of the outcome but there was really only one thing to do at this point.

“Lets get this over with.”

That kind of attitude won't get you the results you're wanting. Nyton thought to himself but he kept both the thought and any external cue to himself. Instead he just rang the chime to Kotori's room and awaited her summon inside.

Tom took a step back and crossed his arms. He quirked his eyebrow with a smile.

"Well, at least I don't do a bad job," he said dryly. "Besides, who said anything about a new ship? I'm staying here because I like the ship, the crew and I have a great woman in Yukari, despite the emotional fireworks. Not to mention, I could always use an outspoken sprite's assistance in the subdeck."

"Enter," Nyton heard, Miharu's echoing the audio of Kotori's summon as the lock on the door released to allow Nyton entry.

* * *

Mara's head emerged from the water, with her eyes blinking rapidly to clear her vision.

"Tom, I'm well past half my hull life," Mara answered the engineer dryly. "Part of me was impaled through and my engine unit was mostly cast in zesuaium - the former could probably be compensated for in spacedock, but the latter is a fairly unique piece of equipment that'd be rather hard to duplicate. Unless you salvage it from Asamoya, odds that you can requisition repairs for that are nearly nil."

"Can this crew really fly into battle in a lame ship?" The sprite questioned. "No. Also, my design team practically all defected to the United Outer Colonies, so, the people that were supposed to give me my planned overhaul are gone. So, I figure it's only a matter of time before I'm decommissioned and dismantled for spare parts; while this crew will likely transfer to another ship like a Plumeria or an Irim."

Tom edged to the side of the pit and sat down, his arms still crossed. He frowned.

"I had considered that," he said. "You already know everything so there's no reason to be pleasant: we may need to do something on the scale of a refit to have a chance at keeping you around. We need to make the argument to Star Army that it is more worthwhile to do that than just scrap and replace you completely."

He nodded at Mara but did not make eye contact. He felt like a doctor telling a patient that she suffered from a terminal illness.

"It would be terribly unfair to lose you after almost 3 years of service. Let's try to avoid that. I'll work with all the technical sprites to try to figure out something. Maybe I can put a good word in with the Taisa too. She is a princess, after all."

"Tom," Mara cast her eyes down. "Tom, I never asked for this. When I was being built, I was supposed to be an ambassadorial vessel dedicated to exploration. I was made tough, I had weapons as well, but I was not a dedicated warship. When wartime hit us again, my design project was nearly put aside and the only ways to preserve it was to cobble me up as an warship field-testing a lot of experimental hardware."

"I say cobbled up, and I mean it," Mara's blue eyes came back to meet Tom. "They just managed to make me work, with all that tacked on stuff. Today, my experimental hardware was tested and most of it is fairly standard now, ironed out and the updated components in use - there's nothing really new that a Plumeria or an Irim can't do as well or better."

"It's true to say that I am a princess' warhorse, and that I could be made to meet her prerequisites..." the sprite continued. "But Taisa Kotori is a minor princess. Her betters such as Taisa Hanako have not come around to ask for such resources to be expended and there's no assurance that she has the luxury to be... effectively wasteful out of capriciousness, especially in wartime."

"Don't be so defeatist, Mara," Tom said. "It doesn't suit you."

He crossed one leg over the other and hummed to himself. His brow furrowed in thought.

"We have performed exceptionally, and our most recent mission success provides the princess with leverage. I am certain that the information on that drive we extracted must be worth something of value to the Star Army."

An idea struck him. The Raltean beamed as he snapped his fingers.

"Aha! Here's what we can do if we cannot negotiate a solution. We can argue that it is possible to salvage your MEGAMI and install it on the new ship. Basically, we can request a 'shell' ship of sorts and have your 'brain' installed in it. We can argue the merits of this based on the fact that it would save resources. Heck, I can overlook the installation myself. That shouldn't be too hard to do. Also, we can argue, based on prior mission performance, that our relationship with you is a key reason for our efficiency and that we would not want to compromise that learning a new MEGAMI."

His eyes met her and he winked.

"I don't see why a ship can't have a 'soul transfer' of sorts if we're able to do it ourselves."

Mara grimaced.

"Tom, I think I'd rather cease to be, destroyed in battle. I am Miharu; I've protected my crew, I've been labored on long and hard for if only for me to work. I don't want to end up on another ship just as much as you wouldn't want to soul transfer in a female NH-29 body - what I've been, the trials I've endured, what I am... this is all me."

"I've malfunctioned several times, but still, I managed to protect you all. My kill list is not inconsiderable in comparison to many other vessels in the Star Army. Facing the Obakemono's escort squadron was not something just any ship could have done."

"But don't ask me to be another ship. I'd rather die with dignity than live on in shame, as something else. I'm too proud of my accomplishments to want otherwise."

As Tom listened to Mara's last will and testament, the expression on his face soured, but he let her finish. But there was only a second of silence before he replied, his words fast and harsh.

"So what? You want to give up? Die with dignity rather than live on in shame? Since when has living ever been shameful? Tell that to my ancestors who lived on despite losing everything to the winter. Still, those who lived fought on, despite being disfigured and crippled by the winter, because we held life to be precious."

He shook his head.

"Yes, if you die protecting others, you die with honor, but do not think that justifies what you said. We have way too many other reasons to die crowding this universe already. Life, sentience, is something to be cherished, Mara. You are special because you are a MEGAMI who I think realizes this."

He pointed at her, prodding her from a distance.

"I also think you fear change, just like me, but in a different form. Change is uncomfortable. Change takes us out of our security zones, forces us to confront things about ourselves we don't like to see... But as long as we have a reason to fight and friends to share our experiences with, we can learn to cope! Just as you see no reason for me to be mopey all the time, I see no reason to let you just walk off and die, especially when we all care about you so much!"

"So, I guess if you ever die I can have your mind transferred to a female NH-29 body, call you 'Tomette' and put you back on duty? I'm sure you'll adjust well to the change, seeing that still being alive is everything... especially considering how Yukari and your family is going to take it."

Mara flipped both thumbs out of the water and gave a sarcastic: "ROCKU OUTO!"

Tom shook a clenched fist at Mara's mocking of him.

"You miss the point! And don't make fun of me! At the rate you're going, we should store an extra pair of legs in every armor you pilot!"

Mara flicked out a foot out of the water, sending a spray of water in Tom's direction for his verbal jab, but she soberly replied with: "I tie my identify to the ship, this hull. My name isn't just that of a computer. Just as your sense of identity goes further than simply your name and your mind, but also how others can recognize you."

"Admit it, if you became a girl, being introduced to great lesbian sex with Yukari would be awkward. Explaining to your parents how you would come to be a nekovalkyrja girl would also be equally problematic... because for them, they raise a boy named Tom Freeman. It would be hard for them to be able to relate with something that claimed to be their son, thought like their son, but yet was so different."

"Could you live like that? Could you adjust? Probably, but you wouldn't desire it in the first place," Mara asserted. "Somewhere along the line, maybe the time Tom soul transferred into Tomette's body was the moment the identity of Tom Freeman would have had died. Identity is not only a sense of living, but also recognition... and you are pushing double standards on me, standards I know you yourself wouldn't be willing to meet."

"Respecting my wishes in this regard is no different than respecting Claymere-Taii's preference for cybernetics to fill in for wounds or handicaps, and his reluctance to soul transfer into a Yamataian body, even if he would die. I've talked philosophy with him before over the matter before with him and debated in favor of soul transfer and yamataian bodies... but he was never forced because I could relate and I believed others could as well."

She used her left hand to pat over the edge of the bath. "Miharu is this ship, not another. I don't want to be forced to be another ship - this is me. Myself. I. Transferring myself elsewhere is inacceptable without purging my memory banks and starting anew - and I would not be Miharu then. I am content with elements of myself such as my sprites surviving me, but otherwise, if I am a person as you so strongly stress, then I would ask you to respect my wishes... if only because if it were anyone else, you would respect those wishes."

"I was meant to be overhauled; partly rebuilt. If that cannot happen, then my crew will be left in the care of another ship and I will be decommissioned and dismantled. It is not an end I would have had preferred, but it is not an uncommon end for a starship that has survived its service and eventually grown outdated," Mara concluded reasonably. "The important part is that I succeeded in what I was made to do while I lasted. If I can be appreciated for this much, and my sacrifice made worthwhile, then I am content."

"...It is your life to live and, ultimately, you should be able to determine how it ends. You have a different perspective about this than I do. It is not wrong, but I can't make myself agree with it. I would've at least tried to live as Tomette... Of course, I probably would have gone nuts or killed myself, despite the great lesbian sex. But I still would've tried."

He lips spread to a weak, melancholy smile. He motioned for Mara to sit by him.

"You know, I think the others would think me stupid to be mourning you like this. But, damn it, they didn't sit in your guts for most of these three years."

Mara heaved herself out of the bath, grabbing her towel to wrap it about her torso before sitting next to Tom, close enough for her shoulder to touch his arm.

"It is not my funeral yet, so there is no need to worry before then." Mara told Tom before she familiarly leaned her head against his shoulder. "If you are truly determined to preserve me and make that overhaul, it is also not an impossibility."

The sprite closed her eyes and continued: "Buying a new ship goes around 150 000 to 250 000 KS. Giving a ship a full overhaul is less efficient and more costly, likely upping this to a number going from 300 000 KS to 500 000 KS in materials, disregarding the cost of tools and manpower. However, if the end result would end up restoring the Himiko-class' functionality and viability as a Ketsurui Fleet Yard vessel, then it may be approved for mass production. Any investors may very well see their monetary contribution amount to more than simply restoring the ship, but also gain a tremendous profit in the process."

"Putting aside the matter of funds," Mara added. "You and some of the technician sprites on board are the few people left in the Empire whom could have both the interest, familiarity and expertise needed to make this happen."

Tom brought his arm up and hugged Mara to him gently.

"I'd like that," he said wistfully. "I'll do my best to make it happen."

He looked into the empty pool where the sprite had gone underwater.

"...I want you to be more than just 'content' with your life... Heh. Maybe when we get done with this war, we can retire you down planetside and turn you into a living museum or something. After all, you already have the advantage of being a prototype on your side."

Mara opened her eyes and glanced up and sideways at Tom. "Maybe. I'll admit I don't really want to dwell on the possibility of being a museum for the moment. Makes me feel old." She finished with a wan smile.

As the door released and allowed entrance Nyton gestured to Heram to wait. Carrying the tray with both hands he entered and gave a slight bow. "Your highness, I have with me Mr. Heram Wazu and some breakfast for you." he announced.

Nyton looked about to at least visually check to see if Kotori was ready for guests. He went ahead and asked anyways though, despite knowing he was to bring him to her. "Do you wish to receive him now?"

For the time being Wazu waited by the door as instructed before.