CONTINUED
Tom nodded. "You haven't been around long enough to consider dreams," he said. "But I'm sure you'll have plenty of time to create some after we get back. Dreams and desires are a great thing to have. They're powerful, and they motivate us to live full, happy lives."
"Uh, hai. Arigatou gozaimasu?" Rin replied, confused. The idea of such dreams and motivations flew right over her head. "Ano, if it's okay for me to ask, what are your dreams, Freeman-Juni?"
"I'm going to marry Suzuka Yukari and start a family," Tom replied. "We're going to live our lives peacefully on Port Xenn and Ralt with a child or two. Yukari and I will have our own business and I will continue to dance in the Raltean Ice Festival." Recalling the thoughts made the engineer smile.
Rin stared in awe at Tom and his dream, though it couldn't be made out through the helmet. "That... sounds... amazing, Freeman-Juni!"
"Thanks. All I have to do is live through these missions," he said with a chuckle. "No problem, hm?"
"I hope not." Rin's naiveness as well as her loyalty kicked in. "Etto... as a sprite and as your subordinate, I'll make sure you do!" She blushed at how idiotic that sounded, only realizing it after it escaped her mouth. "G- gomenasai, Juni. That was stupid of me."
"...Thanks," Tom was struck by the sincerity in the sprite's voice. "But I have to do the same for you too. You deserve having your dreams come true as much as I." His mind wandered for a moment. He thought of how sprite's knew so little of the world, but how they were always so willing to sacrifice that which was most important--life--in the service of others. "Rank... is irrelevant to happiness."
"Ah... uh... a- arigatou gozaimasu." Rin felt thoroughly embarrassed now. How could someone as important as Tom care for someone as insignificant as her? "Etto... but... you don't have to, Freeman-Juni. Etto... rank... may not matter but the purpose of their life does."
Tom was about to speak further, but Ichigo's sudden arrival from the adjacent room caused him to flip back to public communications. "I've contacted Sekkou's Megami," Ichigo reported happily. "She will assist us as much as possible until we restore full power."
Tom nodded. "Ok, everyone, let's get to the bridge."
"Hai. Ah.. er...." Rin quickly switched back to public comm, "Hai." She looked over the schematics once more, before she headed towards the bridge. She had to make sure Tom stayed well, for him and Suzuka-Shosa.
What awaited the three as they entered the bridge was... disturbing. Sprawled about the room were the bodies of seven Nekovalkyrja, twisted unnaturally on the floor. Six of the bodies were riddled with pockmarks... whether they were energy or bullet was impossible to figure out due to the copious amounts of blood dousing their uniforms and running along the floor. They were slumped near or over their consoles, eyes wide and void of life, like discarded dolls. And at the center of it all, slumped near the command console, was a headless body. The stump was serrated cleanly, blood cracked and drying on the nearby console, obviously from the high pressure spray of blood due to decapitation. And next to it was the pale, lifeless head of the Shosa, mouth open and tongue lolled out, eyes staring to the ceiling.
Rin stared at the bodies. "N- nani...." Another moment, before she fell to her knees. She heaved into the inside of her helmet. She reached up and took it off quickly, casting off to the side, now that it was messy with vomit. She coughed and gagged, now that the smell of vomit and blood assailed her nose.
Tom felt his knees buckle, and had to brace himself against the back wall as he stared in horror at the site before him. Ichigo--an older sprite and a mission veteran by Miharu standards--let out a startled cry and turned her head.
"W..what the hell?" Tom let out softly, in disbelief. "It's a massacre..."
Rin didn't know what to do. She just stayed where she was, staring at the floor and hugging herself. "Nani... nani...." she repeated again and again, the shock of the image burned into her mind's eye.
Tom's breathing and heart rate had elevated. He reached out into his mind for something to keep him calm, some sense of duty or responsibility to further hinge his cracking psyche on. It was Ichigo who provided it. She was staring at Rin, wide-eyed. "F-Freeman-Juni, Rin-san!"
Tom's head turned on a swivel and he quickly moved towards Rin and kneeled in front of her. "Rin!"
Rin stared up at Tom, a distant look to her eyes and tears forming at the edges. Though she didn't respond much beyond that, at least she stopped her broken record mouth.
"Rin, you have to stay with me, ok," Tom said carefully as he looked into her eyes. "Talk to me."
The sprite's lips barely parted as she gave a barely audible and breathy, "Hai."
"Ok... ok, good," Tom replied. "I want you to get up and wait outside with Ichigo, ok? Everything is going to be fine." He shook Rin gently, trying to get that distant look out of her eyes. "Look at me. At ME."
Rin came a bit closer back to the present as she was shook. She gave a nod, as she slowly stood. The only thing in her sight, as she stared ahead, that she could see was Tom; everything else was completely blocked out.
"I'll get your helmet," he said as he carefully guided Rin to the door. "Ichigo, stay with her, ok?"
Ichigo, who was struggling with her own reaction nodded and followed. "H-hai, Juni."
Every step felt like an eternity for the engineer, who wanted to get Rin out of the room as soon as possible. But he couldn't run, less he panic her further.
Rin slowly followed, and was led out the door. "Arigatou..." she said slowly, sounding as if she was in a trance.
Slowly and deliberately, the three walked out of the bridge. The doors shut, thankfully hiding the gore behind cold metal. Tom led Rin to a spot on the wall and let her go. "Ok, good."
Rin stood by the wall. The image of the carnage lingered in her mind. What could have caused that? Is that what was to be expected in the world? Death? Gore? How could someone live in a world with such horrible atroctities? The sprite had no idea. She didn't want to keep fighting for whatever causes there was if that was what awaited her at the end of the road. The outside world, and inside the 'safety' of a starship, no where could she feel safe anymore.
As Tom went into the room to retrieve Rin's helmet, Ichigo said nothing. Her sideway glances towards her sprite kin, however, marked her concern. In moments, the helmet was retrieved, bits of vomit still inside despite the engineer's best efforts to clean it. Silently, he held it out to her.
Looking up, Rin took the helmet and hugged it against her chest. She hardly paid attention to what she did, still in her own thoughts. Tom had asked what her dreams were, and now she knew. "I don't want to die. I don't want to end up like that..." she said suddenly but quietly.
"...I," Tom said, struggling with his own demons. "Damn it... don't think like that. We... we have a job to do. We're saving lives." His shoulders sagged, as if he was defeated. "I wish I could make this all better, but I can't... at least not by myself... you have to move forward."
"Gomenasai Nee-chan, Freeman-Juni. Let's go then..." Rin replied, her voice depressingly monotone. She need not burden the officer or her sister with her own problems. It wasn't polite to.
"You're not going in there again," Tom said quickly. "Take a few minutes to recover. I promise we'll talk about this in more detail after we RETURN from our mission, ok?"
Rin opened her mouth to protest her non-help, but quickly retracted that thought. It was an order after all. "Hai."
"Ok, I'll be back soon." The engineer disappeared behind the doors to the bridge. Silence followed until it was broken by Ichigo's voice. "Sister..." It was a single word, but it measured volumes of the silent connection all sprites shared.
Rin forced a smile in response to Ichigo. Leaning back and sliding down against the wall, she ended up sitting on the ground.
Rin could feel the telepathic link connecting between her an Ichigo. "Sister... you feel alone, but you are not alone. We... fight and die for each other not only because it is our mission but because of our love for one another. We make sacrifices for each other, too" she bit her lip from within her helmet, a moment of clarity striking her. "The Juni..."
Rin started tearing up again as she looked up at her sister. She looked pathetic, like a little girl crying over some silly thing like spilled milk. "Arigatou, Nee-chan. Ano... what... about the Juni?"
Ichigo hesitated. She hadn't realized until now the true meaning of what the Engineer shared with her in the subdeck a few days ago, when she saw Tom curled up on the floor just like Rin. "He was almost killed on Bowhordia years ago. He was one of only a few survivors. He told me about it, but I didn't understand," she sounded frustrated in her telepathy. "The Juni... this must be terribly hard for him to endure. He possibly sees his dead friends among the crew in that room..."
Rin looked from Ichigo and then to the entrance of the room. "Etto...." She didn't know how to reply. She had felt useless a few moments before, at not even being able to help. But now, it made more sense. The thought of Tom in there, working, and yet still having worried about Rin the way he had caused Rin to start to actually cry. "G- gom... gomen...." It wasn't clear whether she was apologizing for crying and saying it to Ichigo, or whether she was saying it to Tom for forcing him to be alone in their alone.
"Sister..." Ichigo said quietly, blinking back her own tears, before the lights on the ship suddenly came to life and the slow buzz of energy filled the corridors.
Getting to her feet, Rin looked to Ichigo. Tears were still running down her cheeks. "Gomen," she repeated. Again, she was at a loss for words.
Tom's armor came out from the bridge and slowly walked up to them. "Engines are online. Running optimally, too. It seems the enemy repaired this ship for use against us, but we struck first. We just have to run diagnostics." His voice was heavy. "I ordered the Megami to... sanitize the room. It should take a few minutes."
With the appearance of Tom, Rin went into full on crying. "G- g- g- gomen-... -nasai!!" she sobbed out.
Tom's hands moved to his helmet, where he carefully unlatched and removed it. His grey eyes locked onto hers. "There's no reason to cry, Rin. We did our job, right?" His gloved hand reached out to brush her head. "Don't apologize." He managed to let off a weak smile to the sprite.
"Y- yes there... is! I... I made you wo- worry when you... you were already having prob- blems." Rin tried to stop her pathetic crying, but couldn't help it.
"Rin," Tom said. "You are very young. It was unfair of us to take you on this mission, and for that I apologize. You saw some horrible things today, and you may still see more terrible things before we finish this mission." His smile widened, although his face was slightly pale. "But there's a good side to it all, too. When you see the good moments, when you finally experience happiness and laughter, those emotions become so much stronger than you could possibly imagine."
He brought her sobbing head to his chest. "You learn to hold onto those moments and let them guide you. In times of trouble, they keep you moving forward. When all seems lost, they give you that strength to finish what you must do. Rin, in your life you will experience so many great emotions to balance what you saw today. Cherish those times, ok?"
"H-... hai... Ano... I'll try." Rin hugged Tom in return for the advice on life. That is, until she thought it would be inappropriate for her to hug him for too long, and she released. Whatever these moments would be, Rin now looked forward to them. She hoped they would truly be as great as Tom said they would be.
