Watching the assembled soldiers stand up to leave, the small Warrant Officer turned to Nyton. “If you will excuse me, sir.” She began after being quiet for the entire briefing. “I’ll look over the information you sent me before we go over it,” Masako explained before bowing and taking her leave.
********************************
ON
A while after the briefing, Tsuya was still feeling unhappy and shivery inside. She sought out her very favorite commanding officer's room, luckily nearby, and tapped on the door anxiously. "Hello? Kurohoshi-juni, are you in?"
Sitting at her desk, the young Warrant Officer tackled Nyton's proposed Armor Wing Organization. She knew the Tactical Officer wanted to go over it with her, but she had excused herself to look at it in depth before discussing it. The tap on the door would have been hard to hear, but Miharu conveniently chimed to notify the small Neko of someone at the door as well as followed that up with a link to what was being said outside. Curiously, it was a certain enlisted woman once again. Blinking in surprise, the Warrant Officer stood up and, with a quick stride, walked over towards the door to open it. "Hello, Yamada-san," she replied with a cute smile. "Do you need something?"
"I - oh, you are busy?" The young neko shuffled from foot to foot, biting at her bottom lip, not meeting Masako's eyes. "...I do not want to... bother you if you are doing something important. N-not that all your work is not important! I just - " She grabbed her ears and pulled on them slightly, looking increasingly distressed.
That cute smile seemed to turn upside down fairly quickly as she met with a very distressed subordinate. "It can wait," she replied as she moved out of the way and motioned Tsuya inside. "Come inside, you look like you need to sit down and talk for a while." she suggested out of concern.
"No, no, your work is so important and I do not want to interrupt it even a little bit!" Tsuya danced about on her feet, pulling harder on her ears, but at least she came inside the warrant officer's room.
Masako couldn't help but look at Tsuya strangely as the taller Neko nearly danced into her quarters. Staring for a moment, she closed the hatch and placed a hand upon Tsuya's back. Gently, she attempted the lead the enlisted woman to her desk chair in an attempt to cease the anxious dancing. "Yamada-san. You are saying one thing, but your body is expressing something different. Please voice your concerns." the Warrant Officer asked as she sat down on her bed.
"...hrng." Once Tsuya was guided into the chair, she seemed to relax a little, though her legs still twitched nervously, her feet making pattering noises on the floor. "I... Kurohoshi-juni, I am so embarrassed to say this..."
Masako rested her right leg upon her left as she crossed her arms under her breasts. Leaning forward slightly, the Warrant Officer looked at Tsuya with a patient expression. "It maybe embarrassing, but it seems you want to tell me," she replied gently. "Maybe you'll feel better once you say it."
"...I trust you, that is why I came here," the young enlisted neko mumbled. "I am... afraid. About our mission. I tried to keep my emotional attachments to a minimum, but since I came here I found I like people and now I... don't want to die, Kurohoshi-juni."
Masako kept silent for a moment as she sat up a bit more. Staring at Tsuya for a minute in that silence, the Warrant Officer slowly began to nod in understanding moments before speaking her first word. "Good," she stated before smiling. "Yamada-san. Everyone is like that," she responded semi-honestly (considering she had no idea if Nimura feared anything). "Nepleslians and Yamataians have fear in order to protect themselves from danger. While we Nekos initially don't fear anything, we develop those emotions very quickly. It's a survival trait." the Warrant Officer explained. "So you are scared and are afraid to die," she began and paused for a brief second. "Those emotions keep you alert to danger. As long as you don't allow that fear to control you, it will work for you."
"Danger does not matter! I am unimportant, I can die, I am just another body to fill a power armor!" Tsuya threw her arms up. "I am not supposed to be afraid of things that are going to kill me!"
Masako patiently allowed Tsuya to go through the motions of her rant. Sitting there, on her bed, Masako listened to her subordinate with perfect attention. "Yamada-Hei," the Warrant Officer spoke more formally now. "If you are unimportant and can die, then that means we've been fighting a war over nothing," she responded firmly. "If you are unimportant and can die, then that means the vast majority of the Empire is unimportant and can die." the Warrant Officer stated and paused for a moment to allow her patient expression to bore into Tsuya's eyes "But we were designed to stand between the Empire and her enemies. That means the majority of our Empire is important. So what does that say about you?"
Tsuya blinked a moment, but then her resolve renewed. "...I have not yet earned the right to live, Kurohoshi-juni. I have no reason to be alive, and I am only a drain on the Empire's resources, a drain on the people I am sworn to protect. You cannot say that I have proven myself worthy yet, no matter how protective you are of those under you!"
Masako took a deep breath and relaxed a bit more as Tsuya tried to make her case. "If you feel that way, then you'll just have to earn it, won't you?" the Warrant Officer replied with a smile. "If you are adamant about thinking that way, then come back alive from this mission. Show yourself that you have a right to live, because I know one thing," she replied with a slight pause at the end. "You will always have the right to live in my eyes."
Tsuya surged to her feet, thumping herself on the chest with one hand. "I will earn it, and I will make you proud, Kurohoshi-juni! I - " Masako's next words made her cheeks redden a little. "...w-why?"
Masako chuckled a bit at the younger Neko's reaction and smiled cutely. "I maybe young compared to Nepleslians and Yamataians, but all of my life has been warfare of some type or another. My job maybe to kill the Empire's enemies, but that doesn't make me an emotionless automaton." the Warrant Officer began as she uncrossed her legs and arms. Allowing her legs to dangle a bit, the small Neko sighed quietly. "I see you and I see myself about three years ago. I see all of my sisters, who are probably dead by now, and I see someone who has potential." Pausing once more, Masako scratched the tip of her ear lightly. "Maybe the instructors of EF1 taught you to think the way you do, or maybe you've decided it yourself, but I believe that everyone has the right to live until they've lost that right. Do you know what someone has to do to lose the right to live in my eyes?" she asked the enlisted woman quietly.
The younger woman sat back down in her seat, her head hung so that her black hair fell over my eyes. "...I do not think I want to know, Kurohoshi-juni," she murmured. "You are so kind and loving that... I cannot imagine what could make you want to fight, besides the way we are designed." Her spring-green eyes flicked up, the color piercing through the curtain of her hair. "...and I am sorry that I bring up such memories for you, though I up to that."
It was the Warrant Officer's turn to have her cheeks blush a bit as she shook her head. "Don't worry about it, Yamada-san. If I remember bad memories, it's because my humour is just melancholic today," she replied with a dismissive wave. "As long as you've gotten that off your chest now. Do you feel better?"
"...much. Thank you." Tsuya raised her head a little, a small smile tugging at her lips. "...is there anything you would like to talk about? This must be stressful for you, as well, Kurohoshi-juni."
The young Warrant Officer's lips pursed in thought as her ears seemed to twitch slightly. "I wouldn't necessarily call it stressed as just being pulled in several directions at once," the Neko replied with a shrug. "I was reviewing new organizational plans for the Armor Wing earlier before I sat down and spoke to Claymere-taii about it. But then there's research I need to do so we can get some Heavy Weapons in our inventory: Squad Assist Weapons and the like." the short woman explained as her space-black eyes focused on the ceiling while she thought. "Then there's studying for Navigation Systems certification so Suzuka-shosa has a back up other than Mara and Hinoto, though I'd be doing it just to branch out a bit from Armor work." she admitted with a snort.
"Heavy weapons? If you do not have anyone selected to use them, I would very much like to." The larger neko smiled a bit more. "And I am sure you will enjoy expanding your skills. ...what organization for the wing are you changing, though?"
"I'll keep that in mind," the older woman teased before leaning back slightly. "Organizationally-wise, we're trying to give some of the older enlisted personnel some more command experience for their eventual promotion to Non-Commissioned Officers," Masako explained. "Because of this, Claymere-taii thought giving the wing a stronger hierarchy would be beneficial. Also, the Taisa expressed more interest in an organization structure that could be scaled up if our crew size ever increased."
Tsuya nodded thoughtfully, leaning back and crossing one leg daintily over the other. "Who would be placed in command of us, the new enlisted soldiers?"
"Since there are an odd number of new recruits, we had planned on giving Nakamura-hei two of you while Yoroko-hei would be in charge of one recruit and Nimura-hei," Masako explained, though she frowned thoughtfully on the subject. "That is the initial plan, but I have some ideas I'd need to run by Claymere-taii before it’s finalized," she stated vaguely. After all, explaining to a new recruit about why she was worried about Yoroko's ability to handle Nimura could possibly lead to the young Tsuya fostering a lack of confidence in her superior's potential. "Considering our crew, the main combat section would be a Squad of six that could be divided into two, three-soldier teams."
"I am not exactly a tactical expert, but I think that sounds like a good idea, Kurohoshi-juni." She smiled. "You will not put people in command positions who do not want to command, right?"
"Quite correct, Yamada-san," Masako replied with a slightly lop-sided smile. "We also need teams that have the possibility of working together efficiently. But I don't think there will be problems like that," the Warrant Officer stated calmly. "Claymere-taii did have some ideas I have been mulling through it seems. One of them is the use of positions in each team. Each team has a team leader, a grenadier for the heavy weapons, and a rifleman for basic infantry weaponry or long-range precision weaponry," the raven-haired neko explained to her subordinate. "It offers us balanced teams with tactical flexibility compared to the old system."
Her subordinate nodded again. "I like that plan... and I agree, I think we all get along well enough that there will not be problems. Though I do not think any of us would ever dislike each other enough to sabotage each other in battle." A smirk touched her lips.
"An act that would land anyone on the path of my fury, Yamada-hei," Masako warned in a friendly manner.
Tsuya frowned. "I would never do any such thing!"
Masako smiled and shook her head. "I never said nor believed you would," the Warrant Officer replied. "Just something that had to be said to your comment. A case of action and reaction in other words," Masako explained before pursing her lips in thought once more. "Enough on that subject however, have you thought of trying to socialize with some upper enlisted? It'd be good to get to know your comrades before you go into battle together."
"I would like to, but everyone has been so busy. I have only really had time to speak to you and Ashitaka-heisho." The memory of her cookie humiliation brought a frown to her face.
"Is something wrong, Yamada-san?" Masako asked as the taller Neko's frown brought a concerned expression to the smaller one's face. Of course, Masako had her own thoughts about that frown since Sanjuro had been mentioned, but the Wing Leader wouldn't approach that subject unless it led there.
"...I brought him some cookies and he had some... choice comments." She shook her head. "We made up, and it is fine now. Please do not go after him."
Poor Masako seemed stunned by Tsuya's last comment as confusion crossed her expression. "If by 'go after him' mean confront him about his anti-social behavior, I won't." the Warrant Officer promised as she frowned in irritation. "Trying to reason with that man about sensitivity is like reasoning with a bulkhead, though I suspect I'd have better results with a bulkhead."
"I think he meant well. He was only trying to help me with my recipe." The young infantrywoman bit her lip thoughtfully. "I think we could get along... I am not very good with people, either."
Glancing at Tsuya, Masako couldn't stop her sigh from escaping her lips. "At least you are polite," the shorter of the two countered mildly as she seemed to fume at the thought of Sanjuro.
"I try. If I was not polite, no one would like me." Tsuya folded her hands in her lap, staring at them.
The poor Warrant Officer felt guilty at that moment as Tsuya seemed to stare at her hands as if they were interesting. It felt as if she had just kicked a small kitten at that moment. "Sorry," the raven-haired Warrant Officer apologized. "Ashitaka-heisho has only recently pushed my buttons, so the wounds are still fresh. I shouldn't be taking it out on you in such a manner."
Tsuya's big ears had slowly drooped so the tips touched lightly against her shoulders. "Oh... I should not have brought him up, Kurohoshi-juni. I am sorry. ...I will let you return to your work." She started to stand.
Masako's palm seemed glued to her forehead at that moment. "Yamada-san." she interrupted with a sigh. "It is not your fault. And if I can be frank, you seem quite attached to the fact that everything seems to be your fault."
"It is my fault. I was blamed for everything that went wrong in my room at Ichiban, because I was always there. I nearly ruined several Sims at the school due to my overzealousness, and it is partially my fault that Suzuka-shosa was forced to detonate the ship in our most recent one."
"No, the Shosa was forced to detonate the ship because I made that simulation as hard as possible," Masako said as she looked up at the younger Neko. "And young Neko are supposed to be overzealous. It's in the programming and Ichiban is supposed to smooth it out into dedication," the Warrant Officer went to explain. "Apparently, your instructors were morons who couldn’t fathom balance in their methods."
Tsuya touched her face. "...one of them hit me when I fouled up."
“Ah, if I could tell the tales of bruises from instructors back in my time at Ichiban, we'd be here for hours," Masako replied as she stood up and walked over to the enlisted woman. "Yamada-hei, the military gets rough like that. It's in an effort to teach us that making mistakes can cause pain. While I personally don't approve of striking someone for a mistake, it is a common practice none-the-less."
"I did not even make a mistake! I completed the simulation as ordered! He struck me because I did not do arbitrary tasks he had not notified me about!" The young woman was starting to get a little upset.
Masako paused to ponder what Tsuya had told her. That did sound quite unfounded. Pursing her lips, Masako shook her head. "Calm down, Yamada-hei. I wasn't agreeing with your instructor, I was generalizing over all." she tried to explain calmly. "Since I don't know what this simulation was, I can't say whether he was right or wrong. I can say from experience that you are a good soldier and a good team mate for anyone you work with. You showed me that in my simulation. A simulation created by an instructor from Ichiban has no place in my decisions about you."
Tsuya took a few deep breaths, calming herself down. She was a little embarrassed that she had gotten so worked up. "...I apologize, Kurohoshi-juni. I overreacted. Thank you for your compliments; I will try to live up to them."
The short Warrant Officer ran her hand through her own hair as Tsuya calmed down. "Now that we are done with that, is there anything else?" Masako asked calmly as she sat down upon her bed.
"...no." Tsuya stood, stretching her legs. "Thank you for talking to me. I feel... better, now. Slightly."
"I'm glad I could help," Masako replied.
"...I hope we get another chance to talk soon." The younger neko smiled bleakly.
"We will," the small Neko stated with a smile. "I'm sure we will."
"Good." Tsuya bowed deeply before turning and beginning to walk out.
END