If you were supposed to get an email from the forum but didn't (e.g. to verify your account for registration), email Wes at stararmy@gmail.com or talk to me on Discord for help. Sometimes the server hits our limit of emails we can send per hour.
The summary section, don't just say it's a holiday, but hint at the nature of the holiday like "A holiday celebrated by the NDC to honor those who died during their exodus."
You used the kanji for month(月) twice when listing the date.
The part that is "((sometimes this would be a gymnasium))" is not needed
"...large black wall filled with graphene orbs forged from the fallen just like the memorial." ;I don't get this part you say the orbs are made from the fallen? Like as in made from their corpses?
"The students sit in rows going by grade and then their specific glass, with enough room for the Military guests to walk in between." ; I believe that is supposed to be class?
Hiya Syaoran
Thanks for picking this up for review, though it still needs FM approval.
So I went in to make corrections, and thank you for catching the typo!
I changed the orbs to Medallions and according to what Jack once mentioned, that a Funeral rite, which the page hasn’t been made yet, the NDC makes the medallions out of graphene which is made from the dead, like how we can make jewelry from a piece of hair strands, which is my understanding.
Okay, the reason I asked though is I'm assuming this is a one time occasion then? It's not an annual memorial? Or are they collecting the medallions up at the end of the ceremony for use next year? Just trying to get a clear picture.