Approved Submission [Nepleslia] Nepleslian Organized-Circuit Boxing League

[Legix]

Submission URL

https://stararmy.com/wiki/doku.php?id=faction:nepleslia:boxingorg

Submission Type: Organization / Corporation
Template Used: Loosely based on the Corporation template
Submission WIP URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:faction:nepleslia:boxingorg
Submission Destination URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=faction:nepleslia:boxingorg

Faction: Nepleslia
FM Approved Yet? Yes, me, now.
Faction requires art? Yes (this article will eventually have a corporate logo for the various branches).

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles? Yes (currently submitted now)
Contains New art? No
Previously Submitted? No

​

 

[Ametheliana]

Link: Abwehran, NSMC,

Finish this sentence: Most of them tend to transition around quite a lot, but often losing their jobs in-place

Is this another way of saying they learn how to package things or they learn how to fight:
"... where they spend their days learning the ins-and-outs of the boxing style."

Mechanic/Trainer should probably be two diff occupations.

 

[Legix]

Link: Abwehran, NSMC,

Finish this sentence: Most of them tend to transition around quite a lot, but often losing their jobs in-place

Is this another way of saying they learn how to package things or they learn how to fight:
"... where they spend their days learning the ins-and-outs of the boxing style."

Mechanic/Trainer should probably be two diff occupations.

Okay.

Okay.

Both (nah, I fixed it to specify tho).

Why tho? I mean, Freespacers can be Nepleslian citizens too. And lots of Nepleslians rely on cybernetics. And all of the non-robots would wear punch-rigs that require them to know how to mechanically handle things. But I guess I can separate it if you REALLY feel like they can't be both?

 

[Ametheliana]

Just needed you to explain the mechanic trainer a bit. The big reason I thought they should be separated was because of that tricky to understand (for me) phrasing.

Three Day Approval Timer In Place

 

[FrostJaeger]

mfw I see this submission:

 

[Legix]

MFW I told them the meme would be relevant.

Three day timer is good and gone tho, passerino the checksheeterino.

 

[Ametheliana]

This review is for: Nep Boxing with URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:faction:nepleslia:boxingorg

The submitted article is/has…
[✓] A very high level of overall quality
[✓] A general topic sentence under the title header
[✓] Artwork (Required for new species; Strongly recommended for vehicles and hand weapons)
[✓] Needed and/or useful to the setting
[✓] In the proper format/template
[✓] Proofread for spelling and grammar
[✓] Easy to read and understand (not a lengthy mass of technobabble)
[✓] Wikified (terms that could be a link should be a link)
[✓] No red and/or broken links
[✓] Reasonably scientifically plausible
[✓] Reasonably neutral point of view
The submitted article is/does not…
[✓] Overpowered (or cutting tech for a faction with little or no roleplay)
[✓] Obtusely redundant
[✓] Contain copy pasta descriptions of systems or interior compartments
[✓] Unauthorized by faction managers or player-controlled corporation
[✓] Contain references to IC events that have not occurred (SM must authorize retcons)
[✓] Use second-person language (“you” or “your”) unless it is an instructional guide aimed at players.
[✓] Use bombastic language (“virtually immune,” “nearly indestructible,” “insanely powerful,” “horrible effects”)
[✓] Use an unbalanced header/text ratio (many headers but sections are one-liners)
[✓] Use major unapproved sub-articles that should be submitted separately
[✓] Lacking Detail
[✓] Images hosted on sites other than stararmy.com (Photobucket, Imageshack, etc are not allowed)
The article has…
[-] Speeds in compliance with the Starship Speed Standard, if applicable
[-] Damage Capacity and Damage Ratings in compliance with the DR Guidelines
[-] The in-character year of creation/manufacture. (Should be current year. Future years not allowed).
[-] The Standard Product Nomenclature System, if applicable.

Approved