This review is for: Spookworld
The submitted article is/has…
[Ehhh] A very high level of overall quality
[Yes] A general topic sentence under the title header
[No] Artwork (Required for new species; Strongly recommended for vehicles and hand weapons)\\
[Useful, planets are nice] Needed and/or useful to the setting
[Y] In the proper format/template
[Y] Proofread for spelling and grammar
[Mostly] Easy to read and understand (not a lengthy mass of technobabble)
[Y] Wikified (terms that could be a link should be a link)
[N] No red and/or broken links
[With some work maybe] Reasonably scientifically plausible
[Mhm!] Reasonably neutral point of view
The submitted article is/does not…
[N] Overpowered (or cutting tech for a faction with little or no roleplay)
[N] Obtusely redundant
[N] Contain copy pasta descriptions of systems or interior compartments
[Y] Unauthorized by faction managers or player-controlled corporation
[N] Contain references to IC events that have not occurred (SM must authorize retcons)
[N] Use second-person language (“you” or “your”) unless it is an instructional guide aimed at players.
[N] Use bombastic language (“virtually immune,” “nearly indestructible,” “insanely powerful,” “horrible effects”)
[Y] Use an unbalanced header/text ratio (many headers but sections are one-liners)
[Nnnnot really, though they are unapproved] Use major unapproved sub-articles that should be submitted separately
[Yes] Lacking Detail
[N/A] Images hosted on sites other than stararmy.com (Photobucket, Imageshack, etc are not allowed)
The article has…
[N/A] Speeds in compliance with the Starship Speed Standard, if applicable
[N/A] Damage Capacity and Damage Ratings in compliance with the DR Guidelines
[N/A] The in-character year of creation/manufacture. (Should be current year. Future years not allowed).
[N/A] The Standard Product Nomenclature System, if applicable.
Summary
Overall, this article seems quite short - especially for a planet. Expanding on various sections would be helpful, and perhaps a bit of clarification that almost all of the environments and the like are based on the
inside of the planet. I initially thought most of the things being described were on the outside! (Oopsie
)
On top of that, I'd like to know a bit more about what the inside of the planet is like - the planet is described as hollow, where people can walk on the inside, so being able to know what the inside of this planet is like would most likely fall under the "environments" section. Most notably, an explanation for why the planet's core doesn't crash into the shell/the shell doesn't crash into the core.
I'm not sure if I'm missing something, but these sections:
"The Eastern and Western hemispheres have the most stable gravity on the planet"
and
"There are very few city-scale settlements on Agartha given the self-destructive nature of settling anywhere but the absolute poles."
...seem to contradict each other. Unless the planet's poles are on the Eastern and Western extremes? That might make this make more sense.
For the capital cities, I request that you make a short description of both of them within the main planetary article; that would allow somebody who is only looking at the article briefly to understand what is going on with the cities instead of having to load up 1-2 extra pages on the wiki.
What's the exterior surface of the planet like? That will most likely be the first thing people see in character, so it should be described.
Status: Pending
Notes
For the "Population" section, perhaps you could add some details such as, how much might be living "inside" the planet as opposed to outside, and maybe the populations of the largest two cities?
It seems odd that there are several races that "wage holy wars against each other", but there's only two major cities - though that may just be my opinion.
Hy-bras'iil's article seems to not have any links in it, while Irkalla has a lot of internal links.
I saw a few grammatical errors in the articles, but I'll fix those later - if you don't get to them first! ^^;
I intend to finish this review by: Friday, July 6, 2018
