Approved Submission [Nepleslia] "PunkBuster" Class Fast Battleship

[Charmaylarg Dufrain]

Submission URL

https://stararmy.com/wiki/doku.php?id=faction:nepleslia:starship_classes:punkbuster_battleship

Submission Faction(s)

1. Nepleslia

Submission Terms

1. I agree

An upscaled battlecruiser as one of the replacements for the Primus that we can no longer use. I have a larger more meaty battleship in store for a more true replacement for our big beast.

@Legix as nep FM.

The Perun Railcannon isnt yet approved and isnt my article so im not listing it as an unnaproved sub article for this submission. I just want to get what i need to on this submission and then the perun will or wont be submittedor approved by then.

 

[Charmaylarg Dufrain]

If every ship is an all rounder with the same spread every time then the only thing changing with every ship is the size of the ship and what it looks like. I frankly dont think i have it in me to make any new weapons for this ship tbh. So what im thinking of doing is not changing the weapons up overly much but taking away a single Svarog (1 weapon score) so i can have one on each flank and keep the 6 plasma lance's but instead make those the dual turrets (3 turrets, 2 guns each) and add a little bit more point defence but not much. I have no intention of maxing out the weapon score with point defence and have no general reasoning behind it other than im comfortable with the image i have of it in my head.


Ill make those changes tonight before i go to sleep.

 

[Ametheliana]

maths

sounds good.

 

[Firebrand]

Then do I have permission to make my own one or two off battlecruiser design for my plot, then?

 

[Charmaylarg Dufrain]

if you want to make a ship go for it!

If you mean edit this one, the changes you wanted arent overly drastic just make a page somwhere like a plot page saying whats different about it.

 

[Andrew]

I tried to follow the links and could not do so? Are there link updates for the WIP link or this?

 

[Charmaylarg Dufrain]

Yes this is because ive changed the namespace from battleship to battlecruiser.

The new link is here (i forgot to update it here.)

 

[Andrew]

Before this goes to review:

Please fix the incorrectly nested sections - headers should be in descending order for each section:



ie.

======Main Page Header======
=====Header=====
====Next Header====
===Another===
==You Get It Now==

 

[Charmaylarg Dufrain]

i believe i have fixed this issue @Andrew , sorry for the delay.

 

[Andrew]

I fixed a few more for you. See the version change to see where I applied those fixes. I will take a closer look at this shortly.

 

[Andrew]

Alright, let's get this review on the go!

I've been following your progress on this and I have some things to note. Just minor stuff and we can get approval on it.


Interiors
I am noticing there is no:

• Galley/Kitchen/Crew Dining/Wardrooms

Systems
The Communications System
I think you've nerfed the numbers here in terms of the communications range. The way you have this worded it caps out at 10 AU, which in perspective is not very far. I know the Nepleslians have different technology levels but I think it would be more comparable to the SAoY. Check out https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=stararmy:systems:standard_communications_array and the numbers there. Don't want to see you selling yourself short.

Emergency Systems
Does this ship have any emergency systems? Such as fire fighting stations, blast shutters, escape pods? I don't see any listed

Life support Systems
I don't see anything about life support or environmental systems?

Readability Issues
There are some spelling and grammar errors. I went in and corrected a few of them for you. I recommend using https://app.grammarly.com/ which is free. If you could take a few minutes and go through the article or have another person assist you with this it would be appreciated. This is really just a minor thing.

If you could take a look at these issues, we can finish this review up.

 

[Charmaylarg Dufrain]

I think i got most of those.

Im not very good at communications based stuff so i can see where i fell short. I wont match yamatai's numbers and im sure ill make a ship in the future that has greater than/lesser than numbers than this and someone will gripe and want to retconn but that's a problem for future me/them if/when i do. For now ill just make them less than yamatai's and well bellow a single step cause a ship that can communicate barely effortlessly across several times the sectors width just doesn't sound good to me from an RP standpoint.

 

[Andrew]

Hello! Let's see if this submission meets the requirements for inclusion in Star Army's lore...

[ ] 1. The destination URL should be a page in the appropriate namespace and titled lower_case_with_underscores
[ ] 2. The article is in the appropriate format and article template
[ ] 3. The article follows our wiki-style guidelines, including No forced line breaks, text after each section header, etc.
[ ] 4. The article is easily read and free of errors in spelling and grammar
[ ] 5. Links to other wiki articles are present as appropriate and are not broken
[ ] 6. The article fits into the Star Army universe's space opera theme and technology levels
[ ] 7. Images in the article are hosted on Star Army's wiki and sourced responsibly (contact Wes privately if there's a concern)
[ ] 8. The article is original and doesn't contain copy-pasted content from other articles.
[ ] 9. The article complies with Star Army's rules in terms of damage ratings, speed limits, etc.
[ ] 10. The Faction Manager(s), if applicable, have posted approval for this article in this thread.

Submission is Approved.