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Approved Submission [Nesh] Tokir've + Mekir've Variable Plasma Sidearms + Ammunition

SirSkully

SirSkully

🎖️ Game Master
Submission URL
https://stararmy.com/wiki/doku.php?id=corp:galactic_horizon:gh-w4-1a_tokir_ve_variable_plasma_sidearm
List Any Unapproved Sub-Articles
Second gun WIP URL: https://stararmy.com/wiki/doku.php?...zon:gh-w4-1b_mekir_ve_variable_plasma_sidearm
Second gun URL: https://stararmy.com/wiki/doku.php?...zon:gh-w4-1b_mekir_ve_variable_plasma_sidearm

Ammunition WIP URL: https://stararmy.com/wiki/doku.php?...orizon:jargon_multiuse_standard_gas_cartridge
Ammunition URL: https://stararmy.com/wiki/doku.php?...orizon:jargon_multiuse_standard_gas_cartridge
Submission Faction(s)
  1. Neshaten
Submission Terms
  1. I agree
Before anyone says anything yes, this is two weapons in one submission, though they are rather similar in a lot of aspects and one can just do more than the other so I figured it would be alright - kind of the whole Civilian vs Military NSP thing except I made two pages instead of just one with a subsection for variations, anywho here, a military and a civilian plasma pistol.
 
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Okay on the Tokir've you've got a section at the bottom called 'recoil' but I think it's the safety mechanism?

For the Mekir've, the pricing section is from the Tokir've. Also you have run on sentences in the first half of the article. But the second paragraph the order of the information might need to be changed so it flows more naturally.
 
Sorry I didn't get a ping for this thread, I'll get on that, I apologize for the delay.

Since I looked over everything before and everything left was only small changes I was able to grammar and spell check this.

[ ✅ ] 1. The destination URL should be a page in the appropriate namespace and titled lower_case_with_underscores
[ ✅ ] 2. The article is in the appropriate format and article template
[ ✅ ] 3. The article follows our wiki style guidelines, including: No forced line breaks, text after each section header, etc.
[ ✅ ] 4. The article is easily read and free of errors in spelling and grammar
[ ✅ ] 5. Links to other wiki articles are present as appropriate and are not broken
[ ✅ ] 6. The article fits into the Star Army universe's space opera theme and technology levels
[ ✅ ] 7. Images in the article are hosted on Star Army's wiki and sourced responsibly (contact Wes privately if there's a concern)
[ ✅ ] 8. The article is original and doesn't contain copy-pasted content from other articles.
[ ✅ ] 9. The article complies with Star Army's rules in terms of damage ratings, speed limits, etc.
[ ✅ ] 10. The Faction Manager(s), if applicable, have posted approval for this article in this thread.


They both look good and I'll give them the APRPOVAL
 
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RPG-D RPGfix
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