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Approved Submission [Neshaten] Gi'Gin Swarm Tank

club24

Everything Is Magical
FM of Neshaten
Game Master
Submission URL
https://stararmy.com/wiki/doku.php?id=faction:neshaten:gi_gin_swarm_tank
Submission Faction(s)
Neshaten
Submission Terms
I agree
as promised, I've taken another old WIP and shoved it into a new template along with some spelling, grammar and general updates and tweaks

@Ametheliana you're welcome to look it over if you're still interested but i don't have an issue with anyone reviewing, please point out anything that looks even slightly off as i haven't fully combed the entire article yet.
 

Ametheliana

Sensei
Staff Member
Submissions Reviewer
FM of Nepleslia
FM of the Iromakuanhe
Game Master
Hello! Let's see if this submission meets the requirements for inclusion in Star Army's lore...

[ ✔ ] 1. The destination URL should be a page in the appropriate namespace and titled lower_case_with_underscores
[ ✔ ] 2. The article is in the appropriate format and article template
[ ✔ ] 3. The article follows our wiki style guidelines, including: No forced line breaks, text after each section header, etc.
[ ❌ ] 4. The article is easily read and free of errors in spelling and grammar
[ ❌ ] 5. Links to other wiki articles are present as appropriate
[ ✔ ] 6. The article fits into the Star Army universe's space opera theme and technology levels
[ ❌ ] 7. Images in the article are hosted on Star Army's wiki and sourced responsibly (contact Wes privately if there's a concern)
[ ✔ ] 8. The article is original and doesn't contain copy-pasted content from other articles.
[ ✔ ] 9. The article complies with Star Army's rules in terms of damage ratings, speed limits, etc.
[ ✔ ] 10. The Faction Manager(s), if applicable, have posted approval for this article in this thread.

Here's some fixes this article still needs:
Who made the art?

"...to the hull not a turret and cannot rotate..." Add "and is" before "not".

There are some inconsistencies with how you write the years, such as "EE004" vs "EE 002".

Linking to years, Youth Corp, the Navy, all of those type of things need to be done early.

Can you make this enter production in current year, please?

Can you put appearance description (text) before the image?

How does the tank make contact with the ground? I don't really see any wheels or tracks, so including that in-article may help.

I am also wondering, if it is a "swarm" tank, does it operate in the field as a swarmer or is that just for name, alone? You can explain that in this thread, if you want, as it may not be necessary in the article.
 

club24

Everything Is Magical
FM of Neshaten
Game Master
I’ll have to ask kyle about art as I don’t know, I’ll make the small fixes after work too

For touching the ground, like all nesh vehicles it hovers and for swarm yes its desined to be used in groups to swarm enemies.
 

club24

Everything Is Magical
FM of Neshaten
Game Master
@Ametheliana I have made the requested changes, though I'm sure its a rule in the style guide somewhere and you're just doing your duty I personally think that text after the image isn't really a big deal but changed none the less
 

club24

Everything Is Magical
FM of Neshaten
Game Master
changed the dr thingo on the tank page, one of the guns is already done but i'll do the other one later, i might have to restructure its page as well which is a bigger job
 
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