Hoping to get my character approved for the plot: The Silent Horizon on Star Army Space Roleplay
Here is my character: Nola Aberdeen on Star Army Space Roleplay
Here is my character: Nola Aberdeen on Star Army Space Roleplay
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New Character (Plot) Nola Aberdeen
- Thread starter Sosina
- Start date
GingerGlitch
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GM Approval.
I'll take a full look at this after my classes this afternoon, my time. There is quite a bit I need to identify to be fixed and explain why after I skimmed through it. But besides cleaning up the writing to fit the wiki standards, the character looks alright so far.
Ok, here are the issues I am seeing with the article.
Aside from that, this character looks good to go to roleplay in the mean time.
- Common Misspellings: "other then" → "other than", "ether" → "either", "preform" → "perform", "Mandetory" → "Mandatory". A spell checker can help with that.
- Comma Splices and Run-On Sentences: There are a lot of run-on sentences within the article, particularly in the physical description. While a comma could be used to link an idea to a sentence, I would not use them multiple times, it is kind of annoying to read, not to mention a simple conjunction could fix some of it. <--- example
- Awkward Phrasing: Kind of related to the previous, a lot of sentences have extra details that should be their own sentences or could simply drop to increase clarity.
- Capitalization Errors: For example "biology" and "genetics" in your skill section. They aren't proper nouns in this context.
Aside from that, this character looks good to go to roleplay in the mean time.
as I do have issues with vague suggestions can you be a bit more specific?
1 & 3: Grammerly was used and some of the clunkyness was due to this (I believe but without knowing exactly where the clunky stuff is it's hard to be sure, and some of the misspellings were the suggestions of Grammerly I think)
2. it's hard for me to identify exactly where these issues are as tome it all looks correct, I do apologize for the difficulties but could you pin point a bit more?
4. I didn't think it would be that much of an issue but thank you for being specific it helped me fix them (=w=)b
1 & 3: Grammerly was used and some of the clunkyness was due to this (I believe but without knowing exactly where the clunky stuff is it's hard to be sure, and some of the misspellings were the suggestions of Grammerly I think)
2. it's hard for me to identify exactly where these issues are as tome it all looks correct, I do apologize for the difficulties but could you pin point a bit more?
4. I didn't think it would be that much of an issue but thank you for being specific it helped me fix them (=w=)b
Grammarly is only moderately useful if you pay it's obscene monthly price. Welcome to the Purdue Online Writing Lab - Purdue OWL® - Purdue University is an excellent resource to learn, relearn, and brush up writing skills.
When I get the time (most likely at lunch), I will highlight it all.
When I get the time (most likely at lunch), I will highlight it all.
No problem, please take a look at the following: ====== Nola Aberdeen ======. I highlighted where I think there are independent ideas that could stand on their own as a sentence with some rewording.
