Star Army

Star ArmyⓇ is a landmark of forum roleplaying. Opened in 2002, Star Army is like an internet clubhouse for people who love roleplaying, art, and worldbuilding. Anyone 18 or older may join for free. New members are welcome! Use the "Register" button below.

Note: This is a play-by-post RPG site. If you're looking for the tabletop miniatures wargame "5150: Star Army" instead, see Two Hour Wargames.

  • Current IC Month: 7月 YE 42 (through October 11, 2020)

Approved Submission Noval Heavy Industries

Ametheliana

Moderator
Staff Member
Submissions Reviewer
Game Master
Text/prose is needed between headers and anything beneath them. In this case, after "about noval", "logo", "general information", and "products". All of the empty headers after products need to be either filled in with text or prose or taken out.

That said, thank you for your first submission ^-^
 

Whisper

Submissions Reviewer
FM of NDC
Game Master
Updates made - each empty section was either removed or now contains some descriptive text. Thanks!
 

Ametheliana

Moderator
Staff Member
Submissions Reviewer
Game Master
It's not approved, @Whisper. Changing the link from wip to its destination URL is reserved for approval. FM approval is a step to full approval, but a reviewer needs to approve it before that can happen.

General information, logo, and products headers all need text/prose before images or charts. About Noval as a header got that treatment so I don't know if you know what I mean or if you need more clarification. Let me know.

What you make should be made current year. It shouldn't have been selling products for decades because then we have to ask, where are the products? Why aren't they in RP or in histories or in the setting as established lore?

If you said Origin to a character you can expect them to have a vague knowledge if they're in the Kikyo Sector because they're been around for awhile. If they didn't know you could ask them if they've been under a rock and it makes sense. If you did the same with Noval, it's an inaccurate expectation of a character because they haven't been around and no character should be expected to have knowledge of them. But if you insert a corporation and say it's decades old, you'll have character that have never heard of them before in their RP or out of it that suddenly could be expected to know what it's all about. That's a hypothetical and one of many reasons, but I felt like expounding.

My request is change the year of creation to current year and backstory to match.

[Edit:] Nevermind about the current year thing, Wes okay'd it in discord.
 
Last edited:

Whisper

Submissions Reviewer
FM of NDC
Game Master
Hi Syaoran! I've made a handful of updates to try and address Ame's feedback. I looked at the Origin page for some ideas on how to arrange things after she mentioned them.

I think I'd like to add a few more pictures at some point, but the prose side of things should be in a good spot. I think it's ready for another pass.
 

Ametheliana

Moderator
Staff Member
Submissions Reviewer
Game Master
Yeah, though I invite anyone to review that wants to. I'll throw my eyes on this tomorrow, Whisper. Shoot my DMs up if it seems like I won't or if you're bored.
 

Ametheliana

Moderator
Staff Member
Submissions Reviewer
Game Master
The headquarters part of the chart should be trimmed up. You only need to say "Noval Station in the Sanctum System" with link to Sanctum. At first I thought there were three headquarters!

I am going to need to know way more about Noval Station. It should have its own section with as much info as you think you can give on it. Not paragraphs and paragraphs but some basics like what type/class/model of shipyard this is would go a long way.
 

Andrew

SARP WikiGuru and Staff
Staff Member
Site Supporter
Submissions Reviewer
Game Master
Hey Whisper,

I know Ame says she is taking a look at this for you, but something I wanted to bring to your attention. I know this is your first submission, so you've done great...just a suggestion from me! There are several words/phrases in your document that could be wikified (is that even a word?). Things like the years, YE XX would be [[timeline:ye_xx]] etc. Anyway, just something I noticed when I was passing through!
 

Whisper

Submissions Reviewer
FM of NDC
Game Master
This took longer than just the next weekend, but I've made some updates!
  1. Noval Station has been fluffed out a bit more. I may make a full article for it in the future if it starts seeing RP traffic, but I think this is sufficient for now?
  2. Added a few links for years and such. That left me with one red link for YE-13. Should I leave that red, make a page, or de-link it?
Thanks. :D
 
Top