[OR] ASR-27b Sohkohl-class Recon Scout (Yui-class refit)

[Scribbles]

Have you ever found yourself on top of a mountain somewhere wondering, what ever happened to those Yui's that the Occhestan got in YE 29 after they were like;

"Hey Yamatai we need ships made of voodoo and win to pwn Mishhu invaders"

And Yamatai was like "Yeah whatever, here you go"

And the matriarchy was gettin all bent out of shape like "damned meddling Occhestans we gonna attack you!"

And the Occhestans were like "lolz no, we got ships, pwn'd"

And the matriarchy was all, "g..r..ga..gaw.. damnit..."

And the Occhestan said my mom got scared, and said, "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air."

Well I have, and this is what became of those ships after all that. Small but formidable ships to fill out a fleet with scouts and such, also something to race around in for a plot while Vesper and I beat on the upcoming Occhestan attack ship some more, with comically large sledge hammers.

Not completely finished, but its getting real close, so I figured it was a good time to at least open it up for comments, so I can make any edits while already finishing it up.

https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=oc ... econ_scout

 

[Scribbles]

An overview of the changes/differences with the Yui 4 so far:

1. Width and height have been corrected, and now match the scale of the original diagrams.

2. The ship has been given a somewhat more realistic mass value.

3. It no longer has the ability to 'deploy additional armor', but instead has a permanent layer of Occhestan HECAC type armor.

4. 2 of the 4 original torpedo tubes have been replaced with Meson weapons.

5. Lifts have been removed, and are now zero-g tunnels.

6. The space that once had been dedicated to a TTD now houses the GNF.

7. The original cold storage room has been moved to the other side of the kitchen where neko baths and dressing rooms were(now removed, leaving one set on the other side of the ship). Stasis has been moved to the empty space adjacent to the original Stasis room. The spaces comprising the old flight deck, shuttle bay, Stasis room, and cold storage, now compose a single enclosed and combined launch deck/shuttle bay. The beveled section in the rear of the original has been filled out, allowing the deck to be lowered and greater vertical space in the bay.

8. Nix'd the ground defense field as Occhestan ships use different internal gravity systems, in its place is the Armor Energized Magnetic Field, which is essentially magnetically charged armor.

9. Cloaking device bit about tying into the TTD has been removed, and now mentions running the cloaking device along with stealth armor instead.

10. Point Defense pods are new but closely related to the originals, primary difference is that they all now carry an internal power source (the Sohkohl lacks the conformal aether power field of the original Yui), though these can still conduct some additional power through the HECAC armor if need be.

 

[Wes]

The Yui was a pre-CFS ship. The Nozomi, its successor, was the first ship to get a Combined Field System.

 

[Scribbles]

The original Yui 4 article(circa 2003) may not be as clear on the nomenclature, but the primary shielding system and CDD seem to be one and the same on them.

The Yui 4(and 5) has the ability to use projected energy beams just as any CFS equipped ship. It notes the system model as being "KFY Rotary Combined Distortion Drive Ke-ED-2430cq" similar to the Yuumi battleship. And in the Yui 4 description it notes that the "primary shield system is the elliptical dimensional distortion" around the ship. The description is extremely similar to the CFS, to the point of just being an earlier draft.

It might be of note that the article on the CFS notes no differentiation between it and previous models, nor does it have any release dates or any history at all actually; simply stating "Star Army of Yamatai vessels have an excellent combined field system". (The CDD article itself is only a stub)

Besides the slight change of name the systems seem very much the same, except simply that the Ke-ED-2430cq is a much older model being 7 years back in the design sequence. In any event the descriptor 'Combined Field System' seems to adequately describe the Ke-ED-2430cq present on the Yui's. (Though I might instead have used CDFS, as 'Combined Distortion Field System' had I originally been the one to name it)

If you could clarify, and perhaps expand upon the wiki descriptions (Yui, CDD, CFS) it would be most helpful.

 

[Wes]

Sorry for the confusion. CFS is a current generation Yamataian technology. In the case of the Yui, the "combined" means STL + FTL capabilities, whereas for the CFS, it's propulsion combined with shielding.

 

[Scribbles]

Bumping because of updates.

Updates include:
Computer Systems
Power Systems
Minor edits

Waiting on:
Additional Comments
Approval

 

[Wes]

This review is for: ASR-27b Sohkohl-class Recon Scout

The submitted article is/has…
[ ] A general topic sentence under the title header
[ ] Artwork (illustrations are strongly encouraged for all spacecraft and handheld items)
[X] Needed and/or useful to the setting
[ ] In the proper format/template
(General arrangement is close to standard but does not use current template)
[ ] Proofread for spelling and grammar
(Couple of errors here and there)
[X] Easy to read and understand (not a lengthy mass of technobabble)
[ ] Wikified (terms that could be a link should be a link)
(Red links)
[X] Reasonably scientifically plausible
[X] Reasonably neutral point of view

The submitted article is/does not…
[X] Overpowered (or cutting tech for a faction with little or no roleplay)
[X] Obtusely redundant
[ ] Contain copy pasta descriptions of systems or interior compartments
A *lot* of Copy pasta in this one.
[X] Unauthorized by faction managers or player-controlled corporation
[X] Contain references to IC events that have not occurred (SM must authorize retcons)
[X] Use second-person language (“you” or “your”) unless it is an instructional guide aimed at players.
[X] Use bombastic language (“virtually immune,” “nearly indestructible,” “insanely powerful,” “horrible effects”)
[X] Use an unbalanced header/text ratio (many headers but sections are one-liners)
[X] Use major unapproved sub-articles that should be submitted separately
[X]Lacking Detail

The article has…
[X] Speeds in compliance with the Starship Speed Standard, if applicable
[X] Damage Capacity and Damage Ratings in compliance with the DR Guidelines
[X] The in-character year of creation/manufacture. (Should be current year. Future years not allowed).
[N/A] The Standard Product Nomenclature System, if applicable.


Summary
Primarily needs standard format, copypasta removal, links fixed, and art (let me know if you need help with the art)

Status: Pending
(If a military starship) URL of accompanying civilian ship is: UNKNOWN

I intend to finish this review by: SEPTEMBER 1 2009

 

[Scribbles]

Updates Include:
*Added General Topic Sentence
*Complete Reformatting to wiki standard
*Additional Proofreading and Wiki linking.
*Many Common Occhestan components have now been 'wikified' into their own article to avoid future copy-pasta, and to streamline production of future designs.
*Old Artwork, I added Yui artwork with a note on it being outdated, help with artwork is requested, my current train of thought leads me to think of a slightly re-colored and re-bagged version of current Yui artwork, since the two look largely the same. A new modified internal layout picture has already been included(this needs to be added to the website proper).

Waiting On:
*Additional Artwork
*Layout Image being added to the website proper.
*Additional Comments
*Approval

Bonus Points:
*Wikification of components will streamline the design process in the future.
*Improvements in the Occhestan Wiki Directory as a side result of this submission.

Important Note:
*The Sohkohl is a Yui-class refit, and not a 'new' design.

 

[Scribbles]

Using my advanced art skills, and highly advanced photo editing software(MS-Paint) I have skillfully removed the majority of the identifiable markings from stock Yui-class imagery.
Which I hereby submit:
http://i83.photobucket.com/albums/j309/ ... rking3.gif

If someone wants to help improve the artwork beyond this, please, I would greatly appreciate the effort.

Small note, I have no idea how to add photos to the website without bugging you to do it Wes. Back a million years ago this was done through our glorious(and easy to use) StarChan but alas those days of simplicity are gone.

 

[Exhack]

https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=oc ... nology:gnf

The effect of the GNF specifically disrupts the following systems(non-exclusive) in its area of effect preventing their normal operation: CDD/CFS (including the projected energy beams), Hyperspace fold Drive, Meson Weapon(string field component), Point Defense pod weapons(scaler field emitters), Scalar Cloaking devices, aetheric generators, gravitic electronics acceleration, and the Interphasic Quantum Entropy Field Emitter.

Does this refer to the ship that has this system equipped? Otherwise, you may wish to resubmit this as it is additional combat-oriented functionality.

EDIT: You really should resubmit these new effects, since this does essentially prevent boarding by Yamataian PA forces.

 

[Vesper]

The article is essentially a copy from the GNF writeup approved here on the A279-B2 power armor. The added sentence you quote is just a clarification of how it interacts with other items so you don't have to parse through the paragraph preceding it to understand what it effects.

 

[Exhack]

The issue isn't that you added a clarification, but that this ship essentially has an infallible countermeasure against boarding by craft and powered armor with aether traps, as their power system will fail if they breach a 10 meter radius of the ship.

 

[Vesper]

The fact that major factions have not diversified their power systems in years, despite Aether Cancelers existing for quite awhile is not a fault of the GNF.

Edit: Also keep in mind that the GNF has the same effects on the ship carrying it.

 

[Scribbles]

Yes it is referring in general to the ship itself, as that is its area of effect(it doesn't have any great range capability). I have no intention of 'weaponizing' that piece of technology, in any future way, or increasing its area of effect. Both of those I consider outside the realm of possibility at this time.

The limitations imposed are meant for the Sohkohl itself in general, it gives it a character its own.

Additional note, the GNF is already on Approved Occhestan technology, Wes already considered the device's function.

I know at least Yamataian power armors use capacitor systems, not entirely sure about NMX, Lorath use fusion I believe. So it really isn't 'infallible' against everything.


Additionally, if there is a boarding team onboard, the position of the ship is compromised, when the GNF is active the Sohkohl has no shields to speak of and no FTL ability, so it can't escape, so its pretty much dead in the water in that case anyway. >_>

A ship like, say the one my character is on, the YSS Eucharis, could in that case could just as well slice the ship up with its cannons, everyone on board would end up just as dead.

----
Final thought, I have no desire or intention to battle, combat, or somehow one up Yamatai, I do however intend on doing lots of Mishhu killing with this vessel.

 

[Soresu]

-Nods- They do indeed carry capacitors. Their operational span is however debatable, as for Lorath, their armors utilize Fusion, Anti-Matter or other methods. NMX...I am unsure of. I know the SMX used I think some Dark Energy device, or something akin to aether.

 

[Scribbles]

Small bump for having passed the reviewers self set deadline, and because my current plot is feeling a little stagnant (I really need something to do its getting boring waiting around =.=; ).

 

[Wes]

Approved.