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RP: YSS Kaiyō Pre-Mission 18: Guilt and Sad Farewells


Office of post cheer.
Convention Veteran
YSS Kaiyō II
Deck 2 – Kiyo's and Wulf's Cabin.

Wulf sat in the chair in-front of the computer desk and stretched. Though he was tired he couldn't sleep these past few nights. Even with the trails he and the crew faced and a victory of sorts that he should be celebrating he just couldn't get a full nights rest. The case though was in-front of him, a proposal and a hope to save a fellow crewman he felt indebted to.

As he looked again at the computer screen the profile picture of Masuku Penny appeared. During the boarding action he was part of the plan to give up a fellow solider of the empire to the enemy in the hopes it would give them enough false intell. The plan seemed to work, once they had given her to the enemy they left the ship and the crew won. For Wulf though it was a defeat of a moral sort. Growing up in the orphanage and drilled into his very fiber of being was a simple set of instructions. “Fight honorably with noble intent” was the first one. “Be true to your self even against your master's wishes” this one took abit to understand. The last one though hurt to think about “Your Squad, your crew, the army is your family never forget that”.

As he thought of that he felt his heart sink further in his chest as he recalled that mission. Despite his misgivings he told Penny they would protect her. That the point was to get her off ship so they could be rescued. Lastly in the end he found out that they had given her a weapon that was utterly useless and bare of ammunition.
In the end at the ships darkest hour the crew willfully betrayed her. Wulf betrayed the ideals he had believed in even if in the end he understood why it needed to be done. To a person ignorant of the reason they where born and like a lamb to the slaughter sent willing. The terrible part is Wulf had to do it with a smile and a confident one at that.

That last part made him sick to the core. As he rubbed soul weary eyes, he let out a sigh again. Every night since the boarding action he wondered late at night if he could of done something different. Maybe convince the captain to instead use data instead of a life, or just something else that wouldn't be what happened. Yet he didn't have the courage to do so since the plan was sound. So in the end he decided to try to figure out a sliver of redemption. Nightly when his lover was asleep he would go to the computer and try to write up a proposal for a rescue mission. One to rescue not just a person but a part of his soul he wouldn't get back. Yet each time he wrote it up he deleted it every single time, the plan was not worth it.

That was the worst part of it all. Despite every part of him wanting to figure a way to save the martyred solider he couldn't justify it. Not from a tactical or strategic point of view. Even morally he couldn't justify risking more people to save one life. That hurt the most and kept him up.

As his eyes drifted around the cabin he focused on one brightness in his dark mood. Laying fast sleep with a little red ruby drake was Kiyomori, his love and his light. He couldn't help but smile abit at the blue neko resting peacefully. Even as he was tormented he had joy seeing her at peace. If anything in the galaxy was to threaten that peace he would fight it.

As he looked back at the screen he knew that any thing he did would risk Kiyo and the crew. In the end he couldn't figure out a way nor did he want to risk anything else. It was worth part of his soul for this bitter tune. He only hoped that in the end what would happen to Penny would be over quick. That she be reborn in the universe where she would only have peace and better tidings.
So at the end of this nightly futility he closed his eyes. Thinking once more on the betrayed neko. Though he knew he couldn't say it face to face he said in a quite tone “I'm sorry”. For Santo Juni Masuku Penny he only hoped if they met again by some chance he could say it in person even if he can't be forgiven. Opening his eyes to turn off the screen he said one final thing “Farewell and may you rest in peace Masuku Penny”.