Fred
Retired Staff
SCENE: Scorpio Base, Rented Suites, Kotori's quarters
Kotori jerked in her bed and suddenly sat up, her small chest heaving with pants. Short, harsh gasps of air escaped her as she squeezed her bed covers against herself, eyes open wide in the dark.
Panic and shock slowly sweeped away, but rationality made the awful things that had plagued her mind become that much more vivid.
<center>* * *</center>
The blood-streaked translucent cover of the containment cell.
The hideous form of the pink-shelled mishhuvurthyar.
The grotesque swell of Hanako's belly.
The surreal details she could remember of the interrogator: her pale skin, her black eyes, the salmon lips, the chocolate-colored hair spilling over a garment of black silk and velvet, with black tights and dark fur boots.
The screams. Hanako's screams as her flesh was pricked and bitten at by dozens of small, eager chewers. The screams she made while she was being violated. Screams that should have been hers.
And she did. She knew she could have taken Hanako's place and suffered for her. That would have had been so much easier to bear... even Hanako had admitted it - despite her having supposedly 'forgiven' everything. That had been painfully obvious when she had placed Hanako on the defensive with the matter of the three mishhuvurthyar hachlings.
Yes, it should have been her. Hanako hadn't really forgiven her at all. Not to mention Hanako's convictions only went as far as just speaking them went in term of effort - when convictions were really put to the test, it was easier to just boot the problem out.
<center>* * *</center>
Yes, Kotori remembered. Her nightmares were proof enough.
She felt so ambivalent. On one hand, she was to blame for Hanako's suffering. On the other hand, she felt betrayed by Hanako making a stand for convictions she really couldn't uphold - for being nothing but so much flowery words. It disgusted her, made her ashamed to even wear the Ketsurui surname. She wanted to hate Hanako, but could she really, honestly do so with so much self-loathing piled over her shoulders?
The black-haired neko batted away the covers with a silent snarl. She hated the bouts of melancholy and self-pity she was prone to have lately. What she'd really settle for would be that interrogator. Just the thought of that woman made her nailless fingers want to curl into impotent claws. Flensing off skin, stripping muscles from bone and making that one person scream for days on end was only scratching the surface of Kotori's personnal demons regarding the Black Spiral nekovalkyrja interogator.
With a light thump from her feet, she stood from the bed and walked up to her closet so she could don her yukata. As she wrapped the garment about herself and closed the sash with a business-like jerk, she saw on the clock that it was 4:51. Plenty of time to get herself into a bath and soak the bad mood out of her. Worrying about the interrogator, about whatever little-baby-Hanako could think of her or not really didn't matter.
Today, she would set foot on her ship. The people at the shipyard had assured her they had sprites working on the nightshift to make sure it would be ready. She had to be strong... at least for the sake of her crew.
Not to mention getting her ship meant she could go after the Black Spiral. It meant she would be able to set things right.
Kotori jerked in her bed and suddenly sat up, her small chest heaving with pants. Short, harsh gasps of air escaped her as she squeezed her bed covers against herself, eyes open wide in the dark.
Panic and shock slowly sweeped away, but rationality made the awful things that had plagued her mind become that much more vivid.
<center>* * *</center>
The blood-streaked translucent cover of the containment cell.
The hideous form of the pink-shelled mishhuvurthyar.
The grotesque swell of Hanako's belly.
The surreal details she could remember of the interrogator: her pale skin, her black eyes, the salmon lips, the chocolate-colored hair spilling over a garment of black silk and velvet, with black tights and dark fur boots.
The screams. Hanako's screams as her flesh was pricked and bitten at by dozens of small, eager chewers. The screams she made while she was being violated. Screams that should have been hers.
"Why Hanako-sama? Why not you?" Jo had accused her.
She could remember whispering lamely: "I resisted."
"You saved yourself, but not Hanako? Did you try to stop them? Or did you just watch?" Jo continued ranting in her mind.
"I've been shot at with NSPs, sliced in half by a blast shutter, bitten all over by the insects as I tried to get them off Hanako, bit open my arm to heal Hanako with my blood, blew up a part of my back to make sure I'd wouldn't become any more helpless than I was... and that's what I was Jo : helpless! But everytime I tried to put some form of resistance, they made Hanako pay for it. Even though Hanako's put up a brave front and held me blameless, I know it's my fault Jo."
Jo's face had turned ugly from contempt and hatred. "You caused her to get hurt! You caused her to have to carry those things in her!"
"I still thought you deserved to know Jo. I haven't been able to sleep since. I can still hear her screams ..."
"Good! I hope you hear them from now on every time you close your eyes, so you can remember how you made her suffer!"
And she did. She knew she could have taken Hanako's place and suffered for her. That would have had been so much easier to bear... even Hanako had admitted it - despite her having supposedly 'forgiven' everything. That had been painfully obvious when she had placed Hanako on the defensive with the matter of the three mishhuvurthyar hachlings.
"They cannot stay on this starship," Hanako had told her. "and I am not willing to throw my life away to go care for them, especially when they were placed within me without my consent. Why should I? It could easily have been you the eggs hatched in..."
Yes, it should have been her. Hanako hadn't really forgiven her at all. Not to mention Hanako's convictions only went as far as just speaking them went in term of effort - when convictions were really put to the test, it was easier to just boot the problem out.
<center>* * *</center>
Yes, Kotori remembered. Her nightmares were proof enough.
She felt so ambivalent. On one hand, she was to blame for Hanako's suffering. On the other hand, she felt betrayed by Hanako making a stand for convictions she really couldn't uphold - for being nothing but so much flowery words. It disgusted her, made her ashamed to even wear the Ketsurui surname. She wanted to hate Hanako, but could she really, honestly do so with so much self-loathing piled over her shoulders?
The black-haired neko batted away the covers with a silent snarl. She hated the bouts of melancholy and self-pity she was prone to have lately. What she'd really settle for would be that interrogator. Just the thought of that woman made her nailless fingers want to curl into impotent claws. Flensing off skin, stripping muscles from bone and making that one person scream for days on end was only scratching the surface of Kotori's personnal demons regarding the Black Spiral nekovalkyrja interogator.
With a light thump from her feet, she stood from the bed and walked up to her closet so she could don her yukata. As she wrapped the garment about herself and closed the sash with a business-like jerk, she saw on the clock that it was 4:51. Plenty of time to get herself into a bath and soak the bad mood out of her. Worrying about the interrogator, about whatever little-baby-Hanako could think of her or not really didn't matter.
Today, she would set foot on her ship. The people at the shipyard had assured her they had sprites working on the nightshift to make sure it would be ready. She had to be strong... at least for the sake of her crew.
Not to mention getting her ship meant she could go after the Black Spiral. It meant she would be able to set things right.