ON: Secret Scorpio Research Base, YSS Miharu's Crew Rented Quarter Area, Baths
Tom listened silently, nodding on occassion, contemplating her words as they were spoken. The words were heavy, so much that they weighed the atmosphere of the room. But the Yamataian paid no heed to that. "He slapped you? Why?"
"I think he was venting his anger about being transfered out of his command on me, as well as punishing me for a percieved wrong." Kotori answered.
Tom was very angry inside, but maintained his composure. "What percieved wrong warrants a lady to be struck in the face?"
"Sneaking three Mishhuvurthyar hatchlings on his ship, into his room, no less?" Kotori proposed. She knew speaking about that subject wasn't right, considering it was part of the secret operation the Sakura had been participating in, but she was going to brief her crew about it eventually anyways.
"So the wounds you bear are deeper than those caused by a shattered romance," Tom said, suddenly remembering her golden, piercingly-cold eyes from their meeting yesterday. He didn't need to probe into the details of why three Mishhuvurthyar hatchlings managed their way on a ship. What was more important to him was how Kotori was opening up through her words.
"We all have wounds. We all have a perception of pain and how it uniquely affects us." Kotori replied. She really wasn't eager to be pitied for what had happened with Rufus: there were worst kinds of pain. "For example, the sadness you might have felt while you were cooking that meal, back on the Mikomi. I was not in the kitchen very long, but you had tears streaming down your eyes."
Tom smiled sadly. "Yeah, I remember that clearly. I have some issues with my father, but, now that I reflect on them, perhaps they weren't so much about my father as they were about myself." He shifted a little in the tub, closed his eyes and rubbed them a little, nothing more, nothing less. "You are correct, ma'am, however a frozen heart may never thaw."
Kotori looked up. "I had a father too."
Tom inched a little closer to her. "Was he a good man?"
"Very. He taught me a lot." The black-haired neko smiled. "About avoiding to do things I might come to regret later. Also about how love was not sharing a bed, but also sharing a life."
"Your father was a wise man," Tom said rather bluntly. "I'd have liked to have met him. He sounds like a Raltean in spirit."
"He might be one. I've never known him to be living anywhere but on a Star Fortress." Kotori winked back at Tom.
Tom laughed out loud. "And here I am giving a eulogy to a man who is still alive!" His thick laughter rang through the room, until it died down after several moments. "Ma'am, you are a tricky one and I will have to keep my eyes, and ears on you!"
"I was rightfully using the past tense. I have not seen my foster faster for more than a year." Kotori replied, giving Tom a mock scowl. A year was nothing for him, but it was nearly half a lifetime for her. "I messed things up, so, I can't really go back."
"Fathers can be cruel sometimes, I know," Tom said. "But perhaps it is their own way to force their children to grow up and mature? Tough love, they say."
"No, no. It wasn't that." The neko lamely shook her head. "I was the cruel one, not him."
"Howso?" Tom probably knew the answer already, but he wasn't going to make a bad guess either.
"My foster father was a married man. He had a familly. He was also my first crush." Kotori gave the Raltian a little helpless shrug.
Ok, so Tom was dead wrong. Good thing he didn't open his mouth, or show his confusion. "So, you loved your foster father in more than one way, hm?" He shook his head. "I cannot say that I understand those emotions, but you shouldn't kick yourself for following what you believe in."
"But it's wrong if you follow your feelings without consideration, or even worse, forcefully push them on another without truly knowing what they are." Kotori protested and then added more softly: "There is a difference between lust and love."
"Yes, and there is a difference between following what you believe in and taking advantage of others," Tom replied. "The art is in following your feelings without trampling over those of others. Sometimes it's impossible."
"Sometimes, it's dangerous. Especially when involving nekovalkyrja not even one year old, but believing they can think and be like a real woman." Kotori's smile was bittersweet.
"And you'll still make mistakes, as will I, from today until the day we die perhaps," Tom said, reaching out to pat Kotori's shoulder with a warm smile of his own. "But that is what helps us in the long run. When we fall down, all we can do is get up, dust the dirt off our knees, and continue. That is what life is about." He withdrew his hand calmly. "Don't kick yourself."
She nodded back, grinning. "Plenty of other things to kick around other than myself." She took a matronly air and wagged a finger at Tom. "Make sure this doesn't include your rear end. I have a nasty right kick."
"Ma'am, you know for a fact I'm going to be punished for doing something stupid, so get that boot ready!" Tom wiggled a little in the water with a chuckle. "Just have mercy!"
Kotori crossed her arms and gave him a doubtful, sidelong look. "I dunno. I punched Taisa Sydney in the guts once. I don't know why you should be exempt."
"Ma'am, I didn't mean not kick me," Tom said wryly. "I meant not kick me TOO hard! I bruise too easily!"
"I will consider it." Kotori said before pushing herself out of the water. Water drummed down on the tiled floor as she emerged with the long hair drippling thickly with moisture. She turned her head to look back at him. "Tom, I-" The words stopped and she hesitated.
"What ma'am?" Tom said.
"Remember what I said about suffering, back when I gave you your medals?" Water continued to trickle down her body.
"Yes, I do," Tom replied softly.
He didn't move at all at those words.
"You serve me and I may have to ask you to suffer again for me." She said, fisting her hands. "I will not ask lightly. The suffering I will bestow you is suffering I will have to share with you because I will not be able to bear it alone. I will ask you to stain your hands with blood only so the people we care about back home will not have to endure the sacrifice we do. That is why you are here."
"..." The Yamataian trembled a little in the warm water, his insides twisting horribly. Kotori's words were like a knife to his stomach.His right hand slowly came to his gut, where it clenched his flesh, nails digging into his skin. After what seemed like an eternity to the Yamataian, he choked out his reply. "I pray that it doesn't come to that... but... if I must, I will do as you command."
"I know Tom. I have faith in you." Kotori said. "But the words had to be said."
The nekovalkyrja walked away, snatching a towel off a set of racks before walking out to the dressing room.
END