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Approved Character Ramiro Trinidad Valencia

Warning: I'm not feeling very good, so if I'm short with you, don't take it personally.

Distinguishing Features: A scar stretching from the middle of the forehead diagonally down to the left cheek, passing through the eye where in ends at a point just above the chin.
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Yamataians don't have scars. They regenerate them.

History: He grew up with a harsh, ex Nepleslian family the trained him like a soldier. Not much is known about why he is no longer a soldier, why he lost contact with his family, or about the family in general as he rarely speaks of them.
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So tell us why he is no longer a soldier, lost contact with his family, and about his family in general. In fact, the first part doesn't make sense — he's a soldier of Yamatai, isn't he?

This is your character submission. No secrets. Lay it out.

Skills: Ramiro extensively studied the basics of almost any starship that has been created. At the sight of a ship he has the ability to tell what area the ship was made in, the race that made it, the time period, and the strengths and weaknesses.
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Any starship? Even classified Yamataian vessels? Foreign Freespacer vessels? Iroma vessels no one's even seen?

Ramiro gained a commanding atmosphere from his father. All who know him say he is a born leader. He can earn the respect of others while at the same time making sure they do their specific tasks.
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How does anyone know him? He doesn't seem to talk about his father. So why did his father have a commanding atmosphere? And how does he earn the respect of others? He hasn't RP'd with anyone yet and he's a bottom-rung soldier.

Replace Leadership with something else. Communication would be a good thing to replace it with, as that's a standardized skill you can't skip when you're in the military.

From his childhood Ramiro is trained in all types of martial arts, hand-to-hand combat, basic weapon use, and other areas of fighting basics.
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All types? Every single one of them? Go find the boilerplate text for that skill, and the other standardized skills you have to have as a Yamataian soldier, and use that text. You can find that boilerplate text here.

From his previous military experience and from his love of nature as a child Ramiro knows the in depth details of how to survive in the wild and live off the land. He also knows how to track, navigate, and successfully travel without notice.
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Travel without notice? How? On what types of terrain? Justify this skill.

After his studies of spacecraft he became interested in all types and sorts of vehicles. He studied intensively to discover as much as he could about as many vehicles as he could.
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A catch-all skill that's far too vague to be approved. Detail what types of vehicles, how he knows how to operate them, if he does at all, and any that he might be adept with (meaning he's used them a lot).

Overall: This character needs serious work done to it. It needs more description in all areas, needs to be detailed and fleshed out. Right now this looks hashed together on the quick. You're a writer; be patient with your work and put more thought into it.

And please work on your spelling.

This character is pending. Please address the list of edits above. Once done, please bump the thread, signaling it is ready for a second review.
 
I'm not exactly interested in a certain plot, just wherever I end up. And sorry that my character was a little basic and undetailed, I'm trying to understand everything still since I'm new to Star Army.

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I'll approve this character conditionally, as there's not much more I would bother you to correct. Just know that if you don't find a plot, you're likely not to get very far. I suggest checking the members list (upper-right-hand corner under "members") and talking to GMs about joining a plot.

This character is approved, with exceptions. The submitter has no set plot he is pursuing, though the character has no other flaws.

Welcome to the Star Army Role-Play.
 
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