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  • 📅 April 2024 is YE 46.3 in the RP.

Approved Character Raya'suf Pushkin

Going to basically go down the list of things we find worthy of note in order - not all are necessarily "bad" or need to be changed!

  • You mention that he's an average-height Daur, but 5'2" is quite close to the upper end of Daur heights (4'3" to 5'4"). May be better to say he's above average.
    • On a related note, the Kingdom Fall group is generally anti-Daur. They'll take him in, of course, but he's an inferior (in their eyes) being. Enjoy that friction, it makes fun RP!
  • Oooo the overall description for his coloration does well!
  • This has nothing to do with you, but we read "Nesha Prime (Planet)" as "Nesha Prime (Egypt)" and got REALLY CONFUSED.
  • The backstory is overall well-written (you'd already considered things we've mentioned on Discord), the one thing we recommend is to update the History section shortly after you start roleplaying to explain his meeting/joining with Kingdom Fall - that will help connect him to the plot more obviously within the wiki pages!
A pretty short list, nothing major, it all looks pretty good! As the FM of the Neshaten, we APPROVE Raya'suf for Neshaten Roleplay!
 
GM approved also!

And while arbs is correct that KF is a supremacist group they aren't quite as bad as the other nesh radicals who are specifically Laibe supremacy, these guys are just foxes > all else but some of the laibe in the group definitely look down on daur

As for history, seems its been deemed fine alreafy, but they will be brought into the plot soon and tgen we'll write it up so its a surprise!
 
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